What are you thoughts on same sex schools? UPDATE POST 64

[golfgal]

There are pluses and minuses to each type of school. Obviously there are more opportunities for the girls to take on leadership rolls, etc. because there are just girls there. I think you DO get away from a lot of the pettiness and "mean girl" stuff in an all girl's school because there just aren't any boys around to impress-but that will vary from school to school.

I would be more concerned about the academic quality of any school vs the make-up of the students. I know the all boys school and the all girls school down the road from us do a LOT of social activities together.

I attended an all-woman's college but our classes were mixed with the all-men's college. We had separate administrations/boards, etc. I think it did allow some empowerment to women that still wasn't all that normal 25 years ago.

Obviously a co-ed school mirrors life more then a single sex school.

In an academically strong school, you don't often see girls acting dumb to impress boys. Usually it isn't cool to be a bad student in a strong school. Our top 10 this past graduating class was evenly divided boys/girls and I would say overall the top 20% was probably more girls then boys.

For your relatives it probably comes down to the fact that THEY did not attend a school like that so it is 'different' therefore not as good-which is not true but that is how people think.

 

[luvsJack]

I don't think it should be either way, I know girls that wear make up in HS and they are very well thought of and I know girls that don't, they are also very well thought of. Neither group has a problem with fitting in and some of the girls in BOTH groups are equally popular and run with the good kids.

As far as the wrong school, I don't know, but everyday that I read stuff here on the Dis, makes me so very thankful that I live where I do and my kids go to the schools that they do. Maybe I have a jaded view of things because of this. And no kid should be looked down upon because of what they choose to wear or not wear.

Then their hs must be very different from most. I wouldn't say that every kid in a school would say something to a girl for not wearing make up but there are always "those" groups that will say something.

Going to a co-ed school or going to a same sex school is not going to make someone "go wild" or boy/girl crazy later. There is much more to it than that. Besides, if it did there wouldn't be any boy crazy girls in co-ed school. It sounds like this school is in contact with other schools so that they are able to socialize with boys, so its not like they are going to be locked away or something.

BTW, My youngest great-niece goes to a co-ed private school. Their dress code states exactly in which grade they may start wearing clear nail polish (no nail polish before that grade), which grade they may start wearing clear lip gloss (somewhere in jr. high) and which grade they may start wearing full make up. After seeing Dh's 8 year old niece in full make-up with heavy eye liner, I am not so sure that these kind of rules are a bad thing at all.


OP, its ultimitely about your child's education. Send her where she will be happy and where she will receive the best education. If she is excited and wanting to attend an all-girls school, go for it. You can always change schools if it doesn't work out.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't think it should be either way, I know girls that wear make up in HS and they are very well thought of and I know girls that don't, they are also very well thought of. Neither group has a problem with fitting in and some of the girls in BOTH groups are equally popular and run with the good kids.

As far as the wrong school, I don't know, but everyday that I read stuff here on the Dis, makes me so very thankful that I live where I do and my kids go to the schools that they do. Maybe I have a jaded view of things because of this. And no kid should be looked down upon because of what they choose to wear or not wear.

Yes, I think you have a jaded view of schools. I will agree there. Kids are looked down on appearance in most schools forever...Where have you been?

My mother who is 72 tells me about how her family was poor but sent her to a private Catholic school in which she she totally out of place and was treated as such.

 

[minniebeth]

My DS attends an all boys' high school and it is the best decision we've ever made. He absolutely loves it and I so wish we had an option for an all girls' high school for my DD in 8th grade for next year. (Well, we do have an option, but not that's affordable for us)

The learning environment is just so different in a single sex environment. In my DS' school, the boys have become men and form a strong bond. I'm assuming the same would be true in an all girls' environment.

My DS has plenty of interaction with the girls (from the all girls' school I mentioned that we can't afford ) They collaborate for band, play productions, dances, Homecoming, prom, etc.
Parties are always co-ed and the guys meet girls from friends of friends, etc.
They attend football games together, I could go on. There is plenty of social interaction with the opposite sex.

I just don't buy the "go wild" thing later on in life. If the kids are gounded, learn strong values at home and have opportunity in HS to be well rounded outside of school, I don't see how this would be any different from a co-ed HS.

mommasita, I say go for it for your DD! I think it's an awesome opportunity!

 

[DawnM]

Do what YOU think it right for your daughter's education! I think it is wonderful and it sounds like a fantastic school.

We homeschool.......we have far more than one family member who has quite a bit to say about our choice of education......we blow it off. We know that for us, this is the best for our children at this time and they can go on and on all they want to, we aren't listening! (is there a smilie with fingers in ears? )


Dawn

 

[Mimi1965]

I attended an all girl High school and loved it
I do feel in an all girl enviroment-we concentrated more on our studies.
Also we didnt worry about being teased if we excelled in a typically male dominated subject-I was a math geek.

didnt worry about hair and makeup or constantly thinking about if we would run into "that boy" in the hall all day long. We had more of a "sisterhood" friendship amongst us. I loved it. It was a private , college prep school-and everyone went on to College.

 

[mhsjax]

Then their hs must be very different from most. I wouldn't say that every kid in a school would say something to a girl for not wearing make up but there are always "those" groups that will say something.

Going to a co-ed school or going to a same sex school is not going to make someone "go wild" or boy/girl crazy later. There is much more to it than that. Besides, if it did there wouldn't be any boy crazy girls in co-ed school. It sounds like this school is in contact with other schools so that they are able to socialize with boys, so its not like they are going to be locked away or something.

BTW, My youngest great-niece goes to a co-ed private school. Their dress code states exactly in which grade they may start wearing clear nail polish (no nail polish before that grade), which grade they may start wearing clear lip gloss (somewhere in jr. high) and which grade they may start wearing full make up. After seeing Dh's 8 year old niece in full make-up with heavy eye liner, I am not so sure that these kind of rules are a bad thing at all.


OP, its ultimitely about your child's education. Send her where she will be happy and where she will receive the best education. If she is excited and wanting to attend an all-girls school, go for it. You can always change schools if it doesn't work out.

Yes but your niece goes to a PRIVATE school so sure they will have rules about makeup, but the pp said that public schools also have these rules. NO WAY.

No our has rules about no makeup that causes distraction, and no wierd hair colors. but the pp said that their public school doesn't allow ANY makeup ever. That I don't agree with.

And yes I agree with the education part, if the same sex school is far better and the child wants to go then fine, but otherwise, JMHO, I don't agree with same sex schools.

People want opinions and I gave mine, if her DD wants to go there and it is a better school then fine.

 

[Mimi1965]

My mother who is 72 tells me about how her family was poor but sent her to a private Catholic school in which she she totally out of place and was treated as such.

I dont buy that-a true Catholic community is not bias to others according to their wealth

In their small town-my poor FIL was sent to the private Catholic Boys school-in their 80's now they still have reunions and are friendly with him-even tho he lived a modest life and some of them are millionaires.

 

[kamik86]

My only concern would be if the student wanted to go into a field dominated by the opposite sex that it may be good to go to a co-ed school. If I had gone to an all girls school in high school college classes where I was the only girl in a 40+ person classroom may have been a bit of a shock. Espeically my communications class for software engineers... only girl in the class and the book had this huge chapter of gender sterotypes that it claimed were explaining how woman and men think deferently and a bunch of other bull. I'm glad I was friends with most of the guys in that class or I could have seen that being a tough class to take.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I dont buy that-a true Catholic community is not bias to others according to their wealth

In their small town-my poor FIL was sent to the private Catholic Boys school-in their 80's now they still have reunions and are friendly with him-even tho he lived a modest life and some of them are millionaires.

Well it is true, sorry to burst your bubble.

 

[DawnM]

I don't think it would be a shock, in fact, the articles I am reading about same sex schools show that girls compete BETTER later in life, especially among fields traditionally dominated by men.

http://www.ncgs.org/aboutgirlsschools/thereasearch/3-girlsfirstforemost/

Just because the person goes to a single sex school doesn't mean that the only people she encounters for 4 years will be female!

The above is just ONE of HUNDREDS of articles supporting same sex schooling. Study after study supports same sex schools as having way above the norm performance levels academically.

Dawn

My only concern would be if the student wanted to go into a field dominated by the opposite sex that it may be good to go to a co-ed school. If I had gone to an all girls school in high school college classes where I was the only girl in a 40+ person classroom may have been a bit of a shock. Espeically my communications class for software engineers... only girl in the class and the book had this huge chapter of gender sterotypes that it claimed were explaining how woman and men think deferently and a bunch of other bull. I'm glad I was friends with most of the guys in that class or I could have seen that being a tough class to take.

 

[Magpie]

My DD has been testing this past month, only one more to go, phew, for High School. There is one in particular that is a fantastic school, one of the top 20 in the country, and it is all Girl. This is the school we REALLY would love to see her in. After attending the open house, we were even more impressed. DD also is in love with it. We get the results online Nov 18th and midnight.

However, isn't there always one , some members of our family have their opinions. Now, it is NOT their child, so really NOTB, but I do appreciate opinions, and weigh what people say, IF it is said in the right manner. They don't agree on the same sex issue, implying basically that "Girls go wild" after HS. Now, I went to a public Co Ed HS, and saw plenty going wild there. I don't think you need the same sex issue for that.

They have monthly dances with a local all boy HS, and obviously have members of the opposite sex as friends. They would not socialize on a daily basis, as in CoED schooling.

I just wonder what others think?

I haven't read the other responses, but I went to a same-sex school and I didn't "go wild" after HS.

I'm not a "go wild" kind of person, and neither were most of my friends. Yes, some girls did, but they were the kind of people who would have "gone wild" earlier, given half a chance. So, isn't it better they were older when they finally did start "sowing their wild oats"?

I have never had any trouble relating to the opposite sex, and I grew up in a single-mother family and never had any contact with my father and went to a girl's school, so I probably should have had SOME trouble. But I really like boys and men, always have. I joined the Army Reserve right out of high school and pretty much got to wallow happily in buckets of testosterone. And yet I was still a "good girl" - non-drinker, non-smoker, didn't do drugs or sleep around, etc...

I think there's something to be said for same-sex education making girls freer to be themselves. I didn't have to pretend to be "girly". I didn't have to be pretty. I didn't have to worry about what the boys in my class thought of me. I could just be myself.

 

[golfgal]

I dont buy that-a true Catholic community is not bias to others according to their wealth

In their small town-my poor FIL was sent to the private Catholic Boys school-in their 80's now they still have reunions and are friendly with him-even tho he lived a modest life and some of them are millionaires.

Having attended Catholic schools for many years, including a Catholic college and sending my kids to a Catholic school DURING the school years, you will see MORE of the haves/have not issues in a private school, especially Catholic schools. Now, hopefully when they are in their 80's they have all matured some and realized that the label on your jeans doesn't make you a good or bad person .

 

[kamik86]

I don't think it would be a shock, in fact, the articles I am reading about same sex schools show that girls compete BETTER later in life, especially among fields traditionally dominated by men.

http://www.ncgs.org/aboutgirlsschool...firstforemost/

Just because the person goes to a single sex school doesn't mean that the only people she encounters for 4 years will be female!

The above is just ONE of HUNDREDS of articles supporting same sex schooling. Study after study supports same sex schools as having way above the norm performance levels academically.

Dawn

Hmm that is interesting. I realized they would still be in contact with males but I guess I was thinking more about working with them on an assignment. However if the data says this doesn't cause a problem then I guess it wouldn't be something to worry about.

 

[mhsjax]

I guess I am weird but in a good way,or maybe I was just lucky in where I went to school. I never worried about what boys thought of me, beyond the do they think I am cute thing. But is wasn't an all consuming thought. I really didn't care if they thought I was smart, and no girl that I know of thought that of ever dumbed down themselves because of boys. Most of the most popular and well like kids, were the very smart ones, and this includes the athletes. Most of the football team was NHS, not just the bare minimum to stay on the team.

So in my world, none of this makes sense. I know way too many of my friends that are extremely successful and yet they managed to go to co-ed schools. Maybe this isn't true everywhere, but in my world it is. Come to think of it, I can think of 1 same sex school around here, and yep I just checked, looks like one and it doesn't look good. The other one I found is for troubled girls.

There was one when I grew up, but it doesn't look like it is in operation any more. I guess where I am it just isn't something people want or feel that they need.

 

[mhsjax]

Hmm that is interesting. I realized they would still be in contact with males but I guess I was thinking more about working with them on an assignment. However if the data says this doesn't cause a problem then I guess it wouldn't be something to worry about.

I still believe that your experience would be the norm. I still think it would be something to worry about. But that is only my opinion and I really don't care what others do with their kids, you can only do what you fell is best. I just don't happen to agree with most on here, but that is ok with me.

 

[DawnM]

I don't think it matters if boys are a distraction or not, I think it matters what the quality of the school is and what opportunities are there. The OP has researched and feels this is the best option for her daughter (which really IMHO should end the discussion, who cares what people she doesn't know think about it?) and she feels it is the best option.....

I also don't think you can give a "Well, MY high school was this way, so they all are the same" answer. Every child is different, every situation is different.


Dawn

I guess I am weird but in a good way,or maybe I was just lucky in where I went to school. I never worried about what boys thought of me, beyond the do they think I am cute thing. But is wasn't an all consuming thought. I really didn't care if they thought I was smart, and no girl that I know of thought that of ever dumbed down themselves because of boys. Most of the most popular and well like kids, were the very smart ones, and this includes the athletes. Most of the football team was NHS, not just the bare minimum to stay on the team.

So in my world, none of this makes sense. I know way too many of my friends that are extremely successful and yet they managed to go to co-ed schools. Maybe this isn't true everywhere, but in my world it is. Come to think of it, I can think of 1 same sex school around here, and yep I just checked, looks like one and it doesn't look good. The other one I found is for troubled girls.

There was one when I grew up, but it doesn't look like it is in operation any more. I guess where I am it just isn't something people want or feel that they need.

 

[mhsjax]

I don't think it matters if boys are a distraction or not, I think it matters what the quality of the school is and what opportunities are there. The OP has researched and feels this is the best option for her daughter (which really IMHO should end the discussion, who cares what people she doesn't know think about it?) and she feels it is the best option.....

I also don't think you can give a "Well, MY high school was this way, so they all are the same" answer. Every child is different, every situation is different.


Dawn

Exactly, which is why I said, this is how it is in my world. I also said in another post that if the school is better and the DD wants to go, then send her. I never said that all school are the same.


But as a general rule, I don't like same sex school. General rules can be broken as the situation warrants.

 

[luvmy3]

I dont buy that-a true Catholic community is not bias to others according to their wealth

In their small town-my poor FIL was sent to the private Catholic Boys school-in their 80's now they still have reunions and are friendly with him-even tho he lived a modest life and some of them are millionaires.

I hate to be the grammar police, but your statement implies that you do buy that there is bias in a true Catholic community, and I'm pretty sure thats not what you meant.
I went to a private Catholic school, and it was well known who the haves and the haves not were, and the have nots were treated differently.


OP, if the all girl is the best choice for your dd, and she is on board with going then clearly that is the right school no matter what gender the student body is comprised of.

 

[mom2boys77]

I can assure you they definitely know who has what and are treated differently. OP-If you like the school and your daughter wants to go there, I think she should! I think I would have loved going to an all girls school. We wanted to send our son to an all boys for h.s this year but the only one in our area is over an hour away and there is no transportation.


38815942]I dont buy that-a true Catholic community is not bias to others according to their wealth

In their small town-my poor FIL was sent to the private Catholic Boys school-in their 80's now they still have reunions and are friendly with him-even tho he lived a modest life and some of them are millionaires.[/QUOTE]