What are the signs,exactly? (ranting inside)

[Cool-Beans]

I agree with the others. If this is a pull-ups vs. diaper issue, then there's no issue. Pull-ups are diapers. Just a different style. As long as she's going to let him sit on the potty when he wants to, then there should be no problem.

Ditto.

Either the child is going on the potty or he's going in his pants. It doesn't matter if he's wearing a diaper or a pull-up diaper.

If she helps with the potty-training, watches him for you, and adds love to his life, don't worry about the form of diaper or a little annoying MIL "advice" now and then.

 

[janette]

Well, I'm going to disagree about the Pull Up thing. My DS wore them and was daytime trained in about a month. Of course, he was also about 3 1/2, so that might have had something to do with it. But Pull Ups must have something going for them, or they wouldn't be such a big seller.

I loved the pullups, they are perfect for going places with a child that soemtimes waits too long and needs to go right now but still wants to go by themselves. Much better than a public accident.

With regular training pants they and you know immediately when they've had an accident. Just cuts the learning curve some.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

TOV, if your MIL isn't willing to follow your wishes about the pull ups, maybe you should rethink having your son spend the night and all day with her.

That would be hard to do. DMIL used to babysit DS 4-5 days a week when both DH and I were working. Now that I'm out of work and staying home with him, she gets these periods where she just HAS to see DS. And TBH, it would be a shame to deprive him of getting to see DMIL. He is quite fond of both her and DFIL. Normally, we just go over and visit for six or seven hours, but sometimes that isn't possible due to DH's work/volunteer schedule (like this week).

Since she used to babysit DS, she does have all the waterproof pads, diapers, wipes, creams,etc for him at her house.

DS is almost 2 1/2 and I feel like we're working on his potty training in a slow, but steady fashion. It took us two months to get around to Pull Ups and eventually we will transition over to real undies. But probably not for another couple of months, I'm guessing.

When I gave DMIL the diaperbag with his clothes, etc in it, I told her there were Pull Ups in the diaperbag. Enough to get him through this evening and all day tomorrow. She kind of hmmphed and made faces at me, so I'm not sure what she's going to do or whether or not she's using the Pull Ups on him.

TOV

 

[Wishing on a star]

Well, I will respectfully continue to disagree on the Pull-Ups thing.
If a child is 3 1/2 almost 4, and it takes a month!!!!

When the child is ready, it should take days or weeks... not a month.
The child should quickly and simply make the transition.

PS: I used Pull-ups as night diapers too with my DS.... And, even this backfired!!!! Having that thing on was a 'license to go" LOL!!!!

I always heard when they wake up dry, then it is time to give them up... Ummm YEAH RIGHT!!!!! My DS always woke up in the mornings or after naps completely soaked. He would even 'wait' until he got that Pull-up to go number two. I knew I had to get rid of those things and go cold turkey. And, guess what... He did not wet the bed! Only a few accidents. He was fine!

I will continue to advise anyone who asks to not use the Pull-ups.

The long, drawn-out, pull-up, system is only full of confusion and mixed messages.

 

[paigevz]

Give it up. MIL are all knowing.

Seriously, they took a class that is no longer offered, and we know nothing about our own children.

Mine told me that I should use cloth diapers, and have my girls potty trained by 10 months old

My mother too, said that her kids were potty trained at 10 months old. She also said they were off the bottle at 5 months! She hated the use of pacifiers and baby swings.........two things that kept me sane.

My MIL says nothing to me, so I don't know what she really thinks!

Just take only the pullups and no diapers over there, and just say again that he's been already doing this at home and prefers it. Then she'll do what she wants anyway. When he gets home, just go back to it.

Sorry, I was a bit late on my response there. Wishing, I do agree with you that some kids use the pullups as potties..........both mine did. We didn't get success until we headed straight to underwear. My babysitter didn't want to potty train, so we waited until summer when I'd be off to do it, and he was 3 at the beginning of that summer. I feel I could have done it the summer before.

 

[paigevz]

If the child is able to walk up stairs upright and alternating their feet it is time to potty train.

Um, mine still doesn't do that and he is potty trained..............BUT he also still can't pull his own pants up very well........another "sign" that he shouldn't even be ready. If we had waited for signs, he still wouldn't be trained. We finally said, "3 is big enough" and just did it. He always says he wants to be a baby..........................

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Off the bottle at 5 mos? I don't think that's possible...not realistically anyway.

I guess when DH gets home with him tonight, I can count the number of Pull Ups still in the bag and know if she used them or not.

TOV

 

[SpecialK]

I agree with the posters who've said that when a child is ready potty training should not take months. My oldest trained over a weekend - second one took a little over a week. For him I did use pull ups for the first few days, but I put regular underpants on him under them. That way, he could feel the wetness and I didn't end up cleaning my furniture. After a couple of days he could recognize the sensation and we ditched the pull ups.

 

[paigevz]

That's a good idea, SpecialK.............

 

[Keli]

I guess when DH gets home with him tonight, I can count the number of Pull Ups still in the bag and know if she used them or not.
TOV

Definitely your own business but since you're posting this on a message board I'm assuming you want other points of view.

IMHO, this battle isn't worth fighting. You told your MIL what you wanted, you provided what she needed to do it, but the consequences if she didn't follow through aren't that great so I wouldn't even mention it if she didn't.

Life's too short and a MIL that will take your ds anytime you need her to and treats him so well is worth her weight in gold, lol.

 

[connorsmom911]

Another reason I am so glad I'm not on speaking terms with my MIL!!!!

Ds is 3 1/2 and will go on the potty, both at home and at daycare, but he is not ready yet, even his daycare teachers agree. He is just too busy and doesn't pay attention to his "functions" enough yet to learn. I'm glad now that he's a January baby so he's not starting JK until next year otherwise I'd be in a frantic panic. For now I'm just not that worried about it. We'll just keep going through the motions, but it'll just happen when it happens.

 

[disneymom3]

That would be hard to do. DMIL used to babysit DS 4-5 days a week when both DH and I were working. Now that I'm out of work and staying home with him, she gets these periods where she just HAS to see DS. And TBH, it would be a shame to deprive him of getting to see DMIL. He is quite fond of both her and DFIL. Normally, we just go over and visit for six or seven hours, but sometimes that isn't possible due to DH's work/volunteer schedule (like this week).

Since she used to babysit DS, she does have all the waterproof pads, diapers, wipes, creams,etc for him at her house.

DS is almost 2 1/2 and I feel like we're working on his potty training in a slow, but steady fashion. It took us two months to get around to Pull Ups and eventually we will transition over to real undies. But probably not for another couple of months, I'm guessing.

When I gave DMIL the diaperbag with his clothes, etc in it, I told her there were Pull Ups in the diaperbag. Enough to get him through this evening and all day tomorrow. She kind of hmmphed and made faces at me, so I'm not sure what she's going to do or whether or not she's using the Pull Ups on him.

TOV

Okay, number one, I don't think this is a battle worth fighting with your MIL. YOu say DS loves her and enjoys being with her, so that relationship is more important than one night or not in Pull ups.

Second, the reason I don't think it is worth fighting is because wearing pull ups is not potty training. Potty training is when a child is wearing underwear and going potty (with very short) notice in the toilet. I teach toilet learning classes to parents and daycare providers and have personally toilet trained 47 children. I am not kidding. I was a toddler teacher and after a recent article in Parent's Mag I am considering hiring myself out! Anyway, your best method is to take a day and have your son be naked from the waist down and see what he does when he wets. If he runs for the potty, you're golden and it's time to put underwear on him. Should take 3-7 days. If he keeps playing, put the diaper back on (they are WAY cheaper than pull ups anyway) and try again in a few weeks.

Potty training should not take months, it should take weeks. If it is taking months, there is a special need there, it's not being done right or it is being done too early.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

My guess is he would keep on playing and I would have to clean up the mess.
Which is fine, for now, I guess.

TOV

 

[MareQ]

If the child is able to walk up stairs upright and alternating their feet it is time to potty train.

My 8 year old can't do that.....

 

[Luv'sTink]

Most likely oneday YOU will be the MIL!!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Most likely oneday YOU will be the MIL!!!

I am looking forward to it!!!

And, I certainly won't be disrespectful to my DIL as a parent. I certainly won't be 'Hrmmmpphhhing' and refusing to follow basic requests when it comes to caring for HER baby.

Sometimes the best thing you can learn from your inlaws is what NOT to do!!!