What age would let..

[aprilgail2]

I know I am strict. My DD is 16 and she was just allowed to go with friends last weekend.

Holy cow---16?!?! That is a senior in high school for many kids here LOL just one year after letting them go to the movies they could be living away at college LOL.......
My daughter just started going with friends this school year- she is 10.

 

[minkydog]

I let mine go to the movies with friends when they were 13. I dropped them off and picked them up. They're all good kids and we never had any trouble with them.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Depends not only on the kid, but the friends. At 11, we let my dd go to the movies alone with her (nice, responsible) best friend. But her crazy, out-of-control second best friend? No way!! Not until that kid has grown up. A lot.

 

[JerseyJanice]

You people who are saying 14 do realize that in only 4 years, your child will be a legal adult?

You know that, right? (Just making sure... )

 

[chisnpeke]

About 12. Maybe 11.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

You people who are saying 14 do realize that in only 4 years, your child will be a legal adult?

You know that, right? (Just making sure... )

But snowflake might get hurt...

 

[JerseyJanice]

But snowflake might get hurt...

Personally, I hate that "snowflake" expression. It's a little too overused on MBs IMO.

I believe the right way to bring up children is to give them little freedoms all along the way, i.e., throughout their lives. Children do not grow up and mature instantly on their 18th birthday. We parents have to lead them on a path where they'll be (at least somewhat) prepared to act like legal adults by that date.

Back when I was a kid in the 70's, the local theater was filled with kids on Saturday afternoon. I was going to the movies with my friends long before high school age.

 

[princesspumpkin]

You people who are saying 14 do realize that in only 4 years, your child will be a legal adult?

You know that, right? (Just making sure... )

Ooh, can I answer this one? I do!!! And since it's 4 years, and not 4 days, that leaves sooooooooooooo much time to gradually increase the privileges.

14 - movies with same sex friends

15 - movies with group of opposite sex friends

16 - official dating

17-18 - off to college with new found independece!

Sounds like a plan to me!

 

[Katy Belle]

Hey, kids are all different, locations are all different, and everyone is entiled to their own rules with their own kiddos. No right or wrong!

I have all boys. About grade 6 we would occasionally drop them off with a friend or two. Oldest is 14 now and just now is going in big groups of boys and girls. My youngest is 10, I can't see letting him go alone, but he has anxiety issues and could become upset if anything goes wrong.

 

[disykat]

Ooh, can I answer this one? I do!!! And since it's 4 years, and not 4 days, that leaves sooooooooooooo much time to gradually increase the privileges.

14 - movies with same sex friends

15 - movies with group of opposite sex friends

16 - official dating

17-18 - off to college with new found independece!

Sounds like a plan to me!

Great post! Although I would answer 12 or 13 if I know the kids and it's just to the movies to the post, I never understand when people try to use the argument "they'll be adults soon..." as a reason for diving straing into early independence.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

Personally, I hate that "snowflake" expression. It's a little too overused on MBs IMO.

Uh.... sorry, I didn't mean to offend you with the word?

 

[shortbun]

I think it depends on the kids, who is taking them and bringing them home and the theater's location and surroundings. There is still one set of parents I will not allow my child to depend on to do anything-I've noticed booze on them on several occasions. Also, I would not turn any child loose in a large mall setting unless they were 13 or 14.
On the other hand, a small theater in a safe location, maybe 11 -12. Also depends on the size of the group and what children are in the group.

 

[mamamary]

I just went thru this recently. DS (12) went with a bunch of friends (all 12) but then I let my DD (10) and her friend (10) go with them. Me and one of the other moms went into the theater and got them settled. I made sure everyone sat together (and that everyone that needed food or had to go to the bathroom got it then so they weren't roaming the theater because it's one of those really big ones). This was during winter break in the daytime - not sure if I'd do it on a really busy Sat. night.

 

[nmmom95]

You people who are saying 14 do realize that in only 4 years, your child will be a legal adult?

You know that, right? (Just making sure... )

With that logic, you should just let them drive themselves. They will be driving in 3 years, anyway.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Alright, Barb, which one of your kids are you talking about? I can't believe you are moving into the next stage of worries for parents!

Are you talking about picking up a few of their friends and dropping them off at the movie theatre and then picking them up afterwards?

I would say when they get to middle school age. It's around that time they want to start exercising their independance a little. Do make sure they understand the rules though. The movie is decided before they are dropped off and no changing movies once they get inside the theatre! And once the movie is over they are to stay at the theatre (preferrably inside the bldg) until a parent picks them up. No wandering off someplace else.

TC

 

[powellrj]

We stared dropping our kids off to go to the movies with friends in middle school. Our mall is really small and just a few blocks from our house so we can be there in about 3 minutes! They will meet in the food court for dinner and then see a movie. DS is in college now and still meets up with the same kids he met up with in middle school to go to the movies. Last night they all went to see The Lovely Bones.

 

[golfgal]

I think a lot of parents forget that these little outings are practice for bigger outings. Letting a kid go to a movie with a bunch of kids is a pretty controlled environment-parents dropping them off/picking them up. The kids get to stretch their wings a bit and learn a little independence. If they mess up and leave the theater and do something else, then they get grounded and have to earn back your trust but if you never let them out to see if they are trustworthy, how in the heck could you ever let them go anywhere? They don't magically become responsible when the clock strikes midnight on their 18th birthday. It all starts when they are toddlers and you let them play in their room out of your constant site and they don't color on the walls so you praise them for being good. Then it is when they can play in the backyard alone and they stay in the yard and you praise them for doing what they are supposed to. Then they can walk down the street to a friends house and they call you when they get there and you praise them for doing what they were supposed to do. All of these little things add up over time.

In 7th grade our twins wanted to go to the mall and go to Camp Snoopy with a gang of friends. There were 15 kids going and we thought it would be ok to let them go. They were supposed to figure out rides, etc. and let us know what was happening because we were golfing in a charity golf tournament and wouldn't be available to give rides. It was about 4:00 and we called the kids to see what the plan for getting home was. At 5:00 they can't be at the mall without an adult. They didn't answer their phones. We called for an hour and we were MAD. Finally we sent them a text telling them we would be at the mall at whatever time and if they were not at the door they would be in even more trouble then they were already in. They were grounded for a very long time, no phone, etc. They learned their lesson but it was a long time before they got to go anywhere like this again. This was a HUGE learning experience for them and since then they have been overly responsible for letting us know their plans, calling us when they get places, etc.

 

[kawing123]

Thirteen or fourteen is the perfect age for a daytime outing at the movies unsupervised. Sixteen is a great age for the first evening show at night unsupervised. Seventeen and eighteen are great ages to weave in adult perks such as the nine or ten show in the evening.

 

[JerseyJanice]

Uh.... sorry, I didn't mean to offend you with the word?

Not offended. Sorry if you thought so. I see that expression and it gets my haunches up.

With that logic, you should just let them drive themselves. They will be driving in 3 years, anyway.

Uh, no. It wouldn't be legal for them to drive at 14 and I certainly don't encourage kids to do anything that's illegal.

 

[aprilgail2]

Thirteen or fourteen is the perfect age for a daytime outing at the movies unsupervised. Sixteen is a great age for the first evening show at night unsupervised. Seventeen and eighteen are great ages to weave in adult perks such as the nine or ten show in the evening.

wow- I sure plan on letting my daughter go to a 9 pm movie without mommy tagging along before she is 17 or 18!!