What age to give a little freedom?

[SandraC]

Hi all ~ My 12 year old dd has been demonstrating a lot of good choices as we give her a little more freedom.

So I have been considering giving her some freedom at Disney [heading to resort food courts a little before we go, shopping on her own without me under foot].

What is your experience with giving your children a little freedom at WDW?

Thanks! Sandra

 

[Mom to Jordan]

Hey,

The other Sandra C here!!! DS was 12 when we were there last time and we really gave very little freedom because it was just him most of the time. The few days that my sisters's family was there we gave just a little bit in the park but not much. They could walk ahead of us to a ride and we would catch up. I did let him walk back up to the room while we were in the lodge of the WL and down to the gift shop alone. Always with a cell phone. This year he is 13 and will trun 14 before the trip. I would be ok with a lot more freedom this year but as we are going a lone and he is an only child, I do not expect him to really want much time alone. My guide line has been 13 for time aways from us in the same park WITH a friend. My problem is any teen alone. My DS however is about 5 foot 7 inches and over 150 pounds and knows how to not only make good choices but to physically protect himself if necessary.

I'm pretty protective so a 12 year old female child would not get very much time away from me. Good luck on making this hard decission.

Jordan's mom

 

[tcolbert]

I think it would depend a lot upon how busy the resort/park was. If anything, I'd make sure she had a walkie-talkie on her whenever she left so that she could be in contact with you. Is she bringing a friend? Having a buddy is always safer than going it alone.

 

[SandraC]

Thanks so much for your reply. dd is tall too, 5'5" tall. I've been giving her more freedom at home but never on vacation. I would like to let her feel as though she has freedom but still keep an eye on her. It is a tough decision. S

 

[powellrj]

Just a couple of questions, Would she be alone? and How much freedom are you talking about. If she is alone, there is no question I would keep her in my sight at all times. If she is with a friend and they both have cell phones, I think you could leave them in one shop while you looked in another or let them ride a ride without you.

 

[Hannathy]

We allowed our DD to do all the things you mentioned when she was 11 or 12. She is very mature and responsible. I allowed her to go get food herself or go to a store alone or to a different ride. I wouldn't let her go to DTD alone at that age but within the parks, waterparks, or resorts we had no problem letting her go alone. Heck I'm not climbing those stairs at BB 15 times in a row I'm going and sitting down or floating on lazy river.

 

[Mom to 2]

My daughter is 12 and gets some freedom at home. Biking with friends, walking to park with friends, downtown with friends (we live in a small town, 8,000 people, all this stuff is within 1 mile of our house and someone in the group always has a phone, and I know where she will be and what time she is expected home and she always calls when she gets to a different place. That being said even if she was with a friend or two at Disney she would have 0 freedom!! Too big, too many weirdo's, too much could happen. She is always within reach and eye sight when we are there. Thats just my opinion, and the way I feel most comfortable. I would stick with whatever you are comfortable with.

Lory

 

[dixipixi]

I also have a 12y/o. (13 in a few months) Last year we gave him a little freedom (but he was with his 16y/o brother). I wouldn't let him out of my sight by himself.

We stayed at the YC and felt very comfortable letting them go to the pool for a little while by themselves (they had to stay together), or to the arcade.

We never let them alone in the parks. We did let them walk ahead of us to a ride or show, but never totally alone. This year, our oldest will be 17 and a friend is coming with him, so they'll have a lot of freedom (but they will be together).

We've already informed our youngest that he will be staying with us. I don't expect a 17 yr. old to be responsible for him, and we won't let him go anywhere by himself....so he's stuck with us.

It does depend on the child and what type of situations they're used to dealing with everyday. Our 17 y/o drives, has a job, and is pretty responsible when we let him do things around here, so it wouldn't be very fair if I kept him on a leash while on vacation.

The 12 y/o, on the other hand, is the "baby". He doesn't have a whole lot of freedom (or responsibility) around here...so I couldn't expect him to take care of himself roaming around Disney World on his own.

 

[Mike N Kathy]

I think it depends on the kid ...But i really feel at 12 they deserve some freedom its a really tough age in general ...And really something bad could happen anywhere in front of your house or in wdw...

 

[linda_loo]

I don't have a good answer... just looking back a little and thinking.

Before kids, I was a HS band director and I remember that on our first band trip to WDW, we had quite a few 7th graders with us. Now that I am a mom and I am looking back on this, I can't believe we gave them as much freedom as we did. For the most part, they followed the schedule and rules (and freedoms) that the older kids had. We always had a buddy rule and if a student was caught w/o a buddy outside their hotel room, no matter where they were, they lost priviledges for the next day and had to stay with their chaperone the whole time.

 

[Schmeck]

Last summer we let DD14 have 'her head' at WDW, but we had specific check-in times for her to call us, etc. Worked out well until she lost her phone on Mission Space...

 

[minkydog]

My daughter is 12 and gets some freedom at home. Biking with friends, walking to park with friends, downtown with friends (we live in a small town, 8,000 people, all this stuff is within 1 mile of our house and someone in the group always has a phone, and I know where she will be and what time she is expected home and she always calls when she gets to a different place. That being said even if she was with a friend or two at Disney she would have 0 freedom!! Too big, too many weirdo's, too much could happen. She is always within reach and eye sight when we are there. Thats just my opinion, and the way I feel most comfortable. I would stick with whatever you are comfortable with.

Lory

My feelings, too. When we are at home, in our comfort zone, where I know everyone and I know if someone is a stranger, I allow my DD12 to ride her bike to a friends house, walk home alone during the day, and play in the creek with friends. That same freedom does not extend to vacation times when we are out of our element, don't know the people we are staying with, and don't feel comfortable with the crowds. We allowed our 15yo son some freedom to take the bus, go to the game center, etc, but he was not allowed to go to a different park or go to DTD, even then. I think he was 17yo when we allowed him total decision-making.

 

[java]

I have a 12 year old boy and while he has some freedom at home(can stay alone for an hour or two) I don't know if I would be comfortable with him being ALONE at Disney. Around here I allow some things with friends- like the bike riding ect... safety in numbers. Alone at a theme park would be different for me- I would be too worried and I don't think he would want to yet. (but girls are different.) What kind of freedom are you thinking about- going into the parks alone or just going to the game room?

 

[goofy4tink]

My dd, 12, has started staying home for up to 4 hrs during the day, and a few hours at night. At WDW she hasn't had much freedom but that's because she is by herself (and us of course!). But...we are going to be in WDW in Oct...2 moms, 2 dd's, for the dd's 13th birthdays. My dd has been to WDW so many times at this point that she could give tours in all the parks! The girls are looking forward to being able to go off on their own for a few hours at a time. They will have a cell phone with them, and we will have meeting places set up. If they mess up, they will lose the priviledge!!