Were you engaged before you got married?

[Disneylover79]

SO I was talking to some of my friends and they have said that you do not have to be "engaged" to get married....

So my question for is... were you engaged before you got married

Just so you know I do not have a "ring" but DBF talks about wanting to get married in WDW...

 

[disykat]

I thought if you were planning on getting married that was the definition of engaged. IMO whether you have a ring doesn't have anything to do with it. To me that would mean you were engaged from the period of time between when you decided to get married until you did it. I suppose in Vegas that could be five minutes, but I think most people take longer!

 

[englishteacha]

We were talking about getting married about 6 months before I got my ring. DH said that until he officially proposed, though, we were not engaged. As mentioned above, I think that if a couple decides to get married, they are "engaged."

 

[happygirl]

I guess I don't understand. I thought everyone was engaged unless it a spur of moment thing and you get married with no warning.

 

[SundancePass]

Engaged for about 9 months before we got married. Talked about it for 12 months BEFORE we got engaged.

No, just because a couple talks about getting married does NOT mean they are engaged. Someone has to ask another to get married to be engaged.

 

[I'mNoPrince]

Yes I was engaged (several times) before i got married a few of those were to the same one (now my Wife.

The entire thing has nothing to do with the Ring that just a commercialised item.

The Engaged part dates back to when they Had talks (engaged in conversation) about brides when the brides had no say in it what so ever.

So I think if you are seriously talking about it ring or not your still Engaged in the Act of getting married.

 

[disykat]

No, just because a couple talks about getting married does NOT mean they are engaged. Someone has to ask another to get married to be engaged.

Why? Because two people make a decision together they aren't engaged? Weird reasoning if you ask me and certainly not a dictionary definition. I guess I was never engaged in your opinion!

No one here said talking about marriage equalled engagement. It's when a couple makes a commitment to marry that makes them engaged. No question required.

 

[happygirl]

Why? Because two people make a decision together they aren't engaged? Weird reasoning if you ask me and certainly not a dictionary definition. I guess I was never engaged in your opinion!

No one here said talking about marriage equalled engagement. It's the committment of a couple to marry that makes them engaged.

I really don't understand how you can't be engaged before you get married. How can you get married without being engaged. To me engaged is asking or being asked to be married.

 

[JessicaR]

en·gaged

Employed, occupied, or busy.
Committed, as to a cause.
Pledged to marry; betrothed: an engaged couple.
Involved in conflict or battle.
Being in gear; meshed.
Partly embedded in, built into, or attached to another part, as columns on a wall.

An engagement is a promise to marriage, and also the period of time between proposal and marriage –

 

[DebbieB]

I really don't understand how you can't be engaged before you get married. How can you get married without being engaged. To me engaged is asking or being asked to be married.

Maybe if you are Britney Spears and have a quickie LV wedding on a whim.

 

[wall*e2008]

I thought if you were planning on getting married that was the definition of engaged. IMO whether you have a ring doesn't have anything to do with it. To me that would mean you were engaged from the period of time between when you decided to get married until you did it. I suppose in Vegas that could be five minutes, but I think most people take longer!

ITA.

Engaged is the time from when you decide to marry and actually marry. A ring is commonly given at the start of the engagement time or shortly after the couple but it not a requirement to becoming engaged.

 

[SandrA9810]

i see it as a way of saying im seriously commited to this person for the rest of my life..

me and kari will probably only ever be engaged.... until the laws change federally. but that's just our problem.

And no to your answer... that's why people elope...

 

[GeorgeG]

Yes / No / Yes

My second wife and I just decided to get married and had a small wedding about a month later.

First and last were more along the traditional with proposal, engagement ring, and wedding. Just passed thirty years with the last. No plans for a fourth!

 

[JessicaR]

Yes / No / Yes

My second wife and I just decided to get married and had a small wedding about a month later.

First and last were more along the traditional with proposal, engagement ring, and wedding. Just passed thirty years with the last. No plans for a fourth!

So in your case its definitely third time's a charm and not three strikes you're out. Congrats on 30 years!

 

[disykat]

Maybe the question some people are trying to get at is whether there was a proposal?

I don't think there has to be a "proposal" or a question. Sometimes people just mutually decide to get married. That doesn't make them any less "engaged" between the time they decide to get married and when they actually do than someone who did a formal proposal.

 

[KristaTX]

Engaged means planning to marry. Unless a married couple spontaneously became married, they must have been engaged at some point . Even if for a few minutes in Las Vegas.

But now that I think about it, I guess if someone were forced into a marriage but did not go into it willingly, they could be considered as never being engaged. Engaged seems to imply intent on the married person's part.

 

[LaurenLC]

I say this with sarcasm, so please don’t take offense… but you aren't engaged until you have a ring, and a date set... Or at least that's what I've always been told!

 

[pearlieq]

I don't think you can get married without being engaged. It may just be the half hour between "Hey, let's get hitched" and pulling up to the drive-thru wedding chapel, but it always exists.

I don't think there needs to be a whole formal proposal to be considered engaged, but there does have to be something more than just talking about getting married. There has to be a decision or agreement that the marriage will take place.

 

[FarAway<3]

I won't consider myself engaged until I've been proposed to and have a ring.

 

[horseshowmom]

I don't think you can get married without being engaged. It may just be the half hour between "Hey, let's get hitched" and pulling up to the drive-thru wedding chapel, but it always exists.

I don't think there needs to be a whole formal proposal to be considered engaged, but there does have to be something more than just talking about getting married. There has to be a decision or agreement that the marriage will take place.