Were you a teen mom/have a DD who is a teen mom?

[aristocatz]

I'm watching the new Mtv show "Teen Moms"

I'm impressed with how responsible some of the teen moms are acting (trying to get their GED's, taking care of their babies-just that one cheerleader mom who needs to get a clue), but the teen dads I know they are young, but they are such jack*****!! I wonder what these girls thought was so appealing about them in the first place???

I give alot of praise to the couple on the show who decided to put their child up for adoption. That must have been a really hard decision to make, especially for a 16 year old.

Was anyone on here a teen mom or do you have a DD/DS who is/was a teen mom or teen dad? Was the significant other supportive? Did you have a supportive family?

 

[CharityLynn]

I was 19 years old when I had my son. He was born 1 month and 9 days after high school graduation. He was 5 weeks premature as well and had to spend 2 weeks in the NICU. I had a job and went to work as soon as possible after I had my son. I left his father not long after we found out I was pregnant. He did not want to keep a job and I figured I could put the money i'd be spending on him on my child instead. He did find a job about a month after my son was born and held that job for 7 years and up until recently paid his child support. I am getting support sporadically but did not receive it for a full year until then.

I am lucky to have a very supportive family, I stayed at home for the first year then got my own apartment for my son and I. My Mom was not one who took over rasining my child she insisted I do it. I made the decision to ahve a child so young and I had to deal with those consequences. I love my children and wouldn't really change a thing. It was a tough road to get to where I am but I learned alot along the way.

My mother was just 17 years old when she had me. And she did not have a supportive family and ended up supporting my sister and I on Burger King salary for 9 years.

 

[CathrynRose]

I was 17 when I had my oldest.

His father was 18 - and frankly, I have to give him a lot of credit. He stepped up to the plate, and continues to do so (we were together from 16 - 22, married 1 1/2 of those years).

My mother was ridiculously supportive and was truly a 2nd Mom to my boys.

That show actually really pisses me off. I never acted the way some of those girls, act.

 

[Pikester]

My Mom had me at 15 (almost 16) and my Dad was 18. They got married a year after I was born, about 2 days after my 1st birthday. They have been together for 35yrs! Both families gave them lots and lots of support. My Mom even finished High School. It's wonderful when a family supports each other.

 

[kellyg403]

My dd had my grandson 4 months or so after graduation. I would hope that she felt we were supportive. I love that boy something fierce!

While she and the dad are no longer together, I would say yes in a way he has stepped up to the plate. He doesn't pay child support but he does have dgs 1/2 the week and she the other. She works and he works. He has his Nana and he has us. The truth is, his dad has a big family..5 bros and a sister, two of them are close to dgs age! We have a big family too and on our side he has 3 cousins, 2 are the same age as he is. So, yes we are happy to have him regardless of the circumstances.

The hardest thing I can think of happening was altering in my mind what 'supportive' actually meant. It doesn't mean raising him for them but being there for all the extras and buying diapers from time to time, watching him when he couldn't go to the sitter etc.

Kelly

 

[joyjoy]

My boyfriend's daughter had a baby last Dec; she was 19. The baby daddy is a loser. He's like those boys on Teen Mom. Of course they aren't together anymore, and when she asks him if he would like to have the baby on Saturday, he says no because........ wait for it...... he's been working all week and wants to hang out with his friends. She has moved back in with her dad, my boyfriend. We love the baby, of course, but this was not our first choice for her post high school life.

 

[HonnyDipp]

I was 16 when I had my oldest. I have been watching Teen Mom with my now DD14. It brings back so many memories. My girl is full of questions. Its a good show to watch with your teens.

 

[CathrynRose]

I wanted to add - and while this certainly isn't a reason to go have a baby at 17, I think it's funny how life turns out.

#1 - My mom was a HUGE huge part of both my boys life. I am an only child, and I can't even tell you how special it was having a "Second Mom" for them, and seeing the joy that they brought her. She was 55 when she passed away. (Jan 2006) My boys were 15 and 11. As much as I (of course) wish she would have been able to be here for even THEIR children (heck! she was absolutely young enough to be able to be) I'm so incredibly grateful that my boy's knew her and loved her as much as I did.

***gotta wipe my tears, hang please....***

#2 - I had some serious "'time of the month" problems through my twenties. Lots-O-Fibroids, heavy, heavy periods, a 'tilted' uterus. Who knows if I would have been able to have children. I really don't know. I know I got (unplanned) pregnant with my now husband, and had a miscarriage. I tend to wonder if my having children early was a blessing more than anything else, because I will tell you, the most joy in my life has always come from my kids.

I take that last sentence back. They're 18 and 14 now (where is the choking another smiley? )

 

[cntrygal]

I had my oldest five weeks before my HIgh School graduation, i was 18. He was in the front row with my mom at my graduation. (i actally picked him up during the recessional, and was nursing him before i got out of the theater where grad was held)His father ended our relationship, as soon as i said i think i am pregnant. He has never been a part of his sons life. I have gone on to get two college degrees. My mom was extreamly supportive, i lived at home till he was two 1/2. She felt it was more important the two year that i went to school and was around to nurse. (never had formula and only the occasional bottle of pumped milk) I arranged my classes so i could go to daycare and nurse between classes. When he was old enough to go to preschool i started to work.
I can t imagine my life any other way. I am seeing though his eyes now that he is in college, what i supposedly missed, durring my college years. But all night parties and crazeyness in the dorm, would never have been my thing.

I must have done something right he is studying to be a minister.

 

[Pembo]

I'm not a teen mom just wanted to say I love this show on MTV. We watched the first series...16 and pregnant. The adoption epsiode was one of the most heart-wrenching things I've ever seen on tv. I saw some of the Teen Mom episode today. My heart breaks for the couple who gave up Carly. I just want to bring those 2 kids into my home.

 

[Art 1]

Our daughter is a Senior in HS, it's good for her to see this program and how tough it is on these young girls and that it could take many, many years for them to get back on their feet and how tough it will be for the child to get a good start.

A lioness chooses the biggest strongest fastest lion to mate with. It's amazing that these young, very attractive girls choose bums to mate with.

 

[happygirl]

I'm not a teen mom just wanted to say I love this show on MTV. We watched the first series...16 and pregnant. The adoption epsiode was one of the most heart-wrenching things I've ever seen on tv. I saw some of the Teen Mom episode today. My heart breaks for the couple who gave up Carly. I just want to bring those 2 kids into my home.

Those kids have such a messed up home life. It's amazing that they are so level head with everything they have to put up with, growing up

 

[cheermom1]

I was barely 18 when I had my dd, she was 6 weeks old when i graduated, I had a lot of support from my parents and went to school as well. the father left and we never saw him again before she was born.

I am very glad I had my kids when I did though I'm still young enough to enjoy life when they are older and now that they are teens I can trust them at home if I have to go somewhere..I couldn't imagine life without them to be honest. I just wish their dads felt the same

My dh now has been in their lives since my dd was 2 and she considers him her dad and always will. I'm glad for that ..

I haven't seen teen mom but I just might with my dd now that she is home from school ...recently she had to take up a fake baby to take care of and she called it her little abstinence reminder LOL ....

 

[tzolkin]

I had my oldest DD when I was 17-- January of my senior year.

The father/sperm donor was a guy I was dating for 2 years. After a few months my parents had forbidden me to see him, but despite graduating at the top of my class I was obviously not that smart.

He has never been involved in her life and we did not talk at all after the first few months of my pregnancy. She will be 11 next month.


My family was very supportive. I applied to colleges and my dad applied for new jobs. We wound up deciding on one where he got a job and my entire family moved partially across the country. My mom was a SAHM (I'm the oldest of 4) and she provided me with childcare while I went to college full time and worked full time to provide for my child.

I wound up getting married when I graduated from college. I have two more children and still live just a few miles from my parents.

 

[LisaNJ25]

I turned 18 6 weeks before my son was born. I was pregnant my senior year and graduated. My family was not supportive and I moved in with dh right after I told my parents I was pregnant. He was 22 at the time. Things worked out fine. We will be married 17 years in May and my "baby" is now 17 himself.

 

[tazdev3225]

My DS turned 16 in June and became a father in August. His exGF had just turned 15. It was an incredible roller coaster ride of emotions for me. I have paid for lawyers fees and sometimes my DS's support payments. We had a few rocky years when the ex withheld my DGS from us but things are good now. DGS is 11 now and my best buddy. I see him all the time and his mom has let my DH and me take him to WDW 3 times. It was hard but I wouldn't change a thing. DS got his GED and is now a correctional officer, I feel incredibly honored to be his mother. He has been in his son's life from day 1 and has fought to stay in his son's life. He had to grow up fast but he is a wonderful father to both of his sons.

 

[hentob]

The adoption epsiode was one of the most heart-wrenching things I've ever seen on tv. I saw some of the Teen Mom episode today. My heart breaks for the couple who gave up Carly. I just want to bring those 2 kids into my home.

That episode was one of the most moving things I have ever seen. I bawled.

I am not into drama, but that was so raw and so heart wrenching.



Back to the OP--

My mother had me when she was 16 and my brother at 17.... Another brother at 21....And two more siblings at a more traditional age.

We had a very nice childhood due to the wonderful family members that pitched in to help us have every lesson, activity and camp under the sun, not to mention nice clothing and college degrees.

My parents were married for 3 decades and some change. After 30+ years of marriage, their divorce was sudden and bitter.

I can now see the mental effects of my mother's lost youth. She wants to go back and get what she lost. It's not pretty.

 

[natenapril]

I was barely 18 when I had my DD. Her father and I have been married now for almost 13 years. My family was NOT supportive at all and heavily pushed an abortion when my DH left for basic training.
My sister let me move in with her until my DH got his first duty station.
I still feel a little angry that my family would push so hard for me to abort. I look at my DD now and cannot imagine life without her. She's a preteen so that brings it's own challenges, but she is a diamond in the rough

 

[Tasha+Scott]

I was not a teen parent but I hope that if either of my children end up becoming teen parents themselves that dh and I would be extremely supportive. I can not imagine kicking my kids out or loving them less over it. I also remember how rough it is to be a teen and I imagine becoming a parent at such a young age would be scary and a good support system would be essential IMO.

 

[Shmily1]

DD18 is a teen mom. She graduated from HS in June, had DGS in July, and started college in August. She's now looking for a part time job since she has her school schedule so that she only goes Tuesday and Thursday next semester. She does really good with taking care of DGS and his dad does pretty good too, although there are some times when he could do a little better. He's been through a lot with his family in the past 2 years and it seems DGS gives him something to be focused on instead of the bad stuff that's been happening around him.

I was worried for DD when she told me about DGS. I wanted her to experience college and have a good job where she could support herself and I wanted her to experience the fun time of being in college. I never got angry or hateful about it at all (which totally surprised DH), but was resolved that even if I got mad, when I got over it, she would still be pregnant and it wasn't going to be helpful to her. If ever there was a time when she needed me, it was then and I knew I couldn't let her down. She went through a time where she was mad. She didn't want to eat right or take her vitamins. We had a "come to Jesus" meeting and I explained that her anger was not to be on the baby but be mad at herself and her BF if she HAD to be mad at anyone. There would be no taking it out on the baby. When we were done, she went right back to being the good old DD and decided that DGS was to be number 1 no matter what.

DGS will be 5 months old next week and I can't imagine life before him! We just got back from taking him to WDW for his first trip and he loved it!! The bright Christmas lights sure were a big hit for him!