We're ALL speechless!! UPDATE pg. 5 - Becoming the "Waltons"??

[nealymouse]

My Mom only had her sister. Both my Dad and uncle were only children. My Aunt is the last one alive. When my Mom died 3 years ago my Aunt said she was selling her home and moving into a small intown apartment.( my Mom and Aunt lived together in my Moms home)

We talked and decided that my DH and I would build the 3 bay garage and she would build the apartment on top.

It was the best thing I have ever done in my whole life.

I have 3 DD's and they would be lost with out their Aunty Jo. She has become my world after my Mom died. I thank God every day I can look out my window and see the light in her home shinning.

The funny thing is my family will always ask " Hows Aunty" and I tell them "I dont know " because we live such different lives we only see each other a few times a week LOL.

It has become a PERFECT thing for our family. It will work if you set the ground rules.

Good Luck

 

[C.Ann]

Well I went and fell asleep AGAIN - while I was watching t.v. - guess I must have "sleeping sickness" - LOL.. This is weird - I don't just fall asleep at the drop of a hat like that - but evidently I must need the extra sleep for some reason or I wouldn't be doing it.. Guess I'm "over taxing" my poor little brain - LOL..

No phone calls from my DD or her DH tonight so I'm assuming they probably spent the evening mulling over this proposition.. It will be interesting to hear what they have to say - now that the shock has worn off - and they've had the opportunity to run it by DD's doctor..

The one thing I keep remembering though is the look on my SIL's face - both immediately following this proposition and for the entire time that his parents were still here.. Hard to explain what it was - and I could be way off - but it was kind of like that "deer in the headlights" look.. Now that I've had a little more time to think about it myself - and hear all the pro's and cons posted here - I have to wonder if it was a look of feeling "trapped".. I know what he looks like when he's happy - and I know what he looks like when he's excited about something - and in all honesty, that "look" wasn't there.. He's been put in a tough position and I just hope that both he and my DD are able to be honest when making this decision and set aside any feelings of "having" to agree to something they're not comfortable with.. Only time will tell..

Anyhow - thanks for all of the input here.. Plenty of food for thought and some great ideas to point out to the kids if they haven't already made their final decision.. One can never have "too much" information and you have all brought up some good points that may not have been considered yet..

 

[marymrg]

I haven't read all of the replies but here's a scenario that I think could work. You and your dh could move into a larger new house with lots of land. (no-in law apartment, just your own bedroom, bath and sitting space) A floor plan that has a first floor master bedroom suite(for you and dh) and an upstairs master suite and two other bedrooms might work. Then, the in-laws could live in the in-law apartment that is part of a detached garage/barn.

I just think having everyone under the same roof (even with separate entrances) is too close for comfort. (for you, DD and MIL - I think the men could all handle it) The other thing you have to think about is resale. A large house with an in-law setup would probably be more marketable than a large house with two in-law apartments. This would also leave your options open should you ever decide to become a snowbird for some of the year.
Financially..............the in-laws could contribute toward the land and the cost of building the apartment. You might be able to offer a stipend for using a portion of the main house. I think having the in-laws owning too much of the pie would also cause friction down the road for your DD and SIL.

Then again, I could be totally off base here!

 

[C.Ann]

Well I just got off the phone with my DD.. Interesting conversation..

I did a lot of thinking last night - around 3 a.m. when I couldn't sleep - and came to the conclusion that I personally do NOT want a separate apartment.. In the long run it doesn't make sense - considering 3/4's of the year I would be here at the lake - and before I could even tell my DD this she mentioned that both she and her DH still preferred that DH & I actually live "in" with them as opposed to apart from them.. Her DH feels that if they build, he will be able to provide much more extra space for me to have my privacy than any of the existing homes we have looked at.. DD was quite releived to hear that I had come to the same conclusion on my own as her DH was concerned that I might feel "jealous" of his Mom having her own place whereas I would not.. Nope! That suits me just fine.. The less I have to worry about (like an additional apt. sitting empty for at least 8 months out of the year) the better I like it!

On to the IL's and their idea of an in-law apt.. DD & her DH talked it over among themselves - as well as with DD's doctor - and they all feel it "could" work - but ONLY if there are very strict guidelines put in place BEFORE the purchase of any land takes place and all parties are agreeable to it.. This would cover everything from privacy issues to legal issues and would be put in writing.. DD & her DH feel certain that at some point in time the MIL would have to live with them anyhow (once the FIL is gone) and they both feel it would be much better if she were at least on the other side of a firewall..

So - it appears that the "deal breaker" will be just how much "power" the IL's expect in return for whatever portion of the money they put up and if they are agreeable to all of the conditions that will be put in place..

Should be an interesting week..