Well, here we go... (Sun update)

[Rajah]

Tomorrow is the real test, and I don't know if I'm ready for it or not. I think as ready as I'll ever be, but tomorrow I go back to work for as long as I can. If I can make a full day (or more), great. If not..... Well, we'll see.

Backing up...

Today turned out to be a pretty good one. I was so tired (okay, okay, staying up until 4am last night *probly* had something to do with that... ) I ended up sleeping in until just after 1. Got up, ate, played some of the Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy (great game!!) that I rented the other day. Then FIL brought over some reading materials on dealing with loss and a family member's suicide and stuff like that for me and my mom. My mom read hers and said they were great. I couldn't read mine yet -- just can't do that unless I'm alone, and I haven't been alone all day until just now. So I'll probly read that tonight in a few minutes.

Anyway, played some more of Sphinx then my mom and I joined my friends from down the street and friend's brother to go see Peter Pan. They did do a cute job with that. Wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, but we all enjoyed it.

Came back home and spent the rest of the evening playing Sphinx and resting. It was about time for a day like this. We got very little "productive" stuff done, but every once in a while you really *need* a day of down-time, especially with what we've been going through.

My mom is *still* staying with us. Not a problem, really, especially since we were able to talk a bit today and got along just fine. I think she's really not quite ready to go back home yet, but isn't wanting to admit it. She keeps finding reasons that she "has" to stay with us for the night again. I'm not objecting at all, though. She needs the companionship right now, as long as she is facing what she's going to have to go back to eventually (in theory, tomorrow). And her dog Dolly (5 year old Shih Tzu pup) is getting along great with Gabi, fine with Leo, and tolerably with Skye and Sienna. I'm just glad that when DH's grandmother passed away last month (after a long illness), we got his grandparents' dining room table and are housing their spare bed for his sister until she gets a place of her own. Because of those two things, we've had the room for my mom to stay with us, and the dining room table has gotten a *lot* of use the past two weeks.

I was originally going to go in to work again today as well, but I really didn't feel like it and there's something else going on there that I need to discuss with a manager that I didn't want to deal with until the managers are back in tomorrow. Can't go into it in detail on here, just suffice to say it's providing more stress again (not *too* bad since I called someone today and alerted him to the problem and he's the one who can take care of it) and is a strong motivator for me to get out of the immediate department I'm in. *sigh*

Because of that, in addition to being without my dad, in addition to dealing with people at work, in addition to going *through* my dad's stuff, in addition to just being burnt out at work and unmotivated in the fisrt place... I don't want to go in tomorrow. Hopefully it won't be as bad as I'm fearing.

 

[Maray]

Dear Tammi,
I'm Just catching up here.
I am so sorry for your loss and all you have been thru.
I think you have been doing a wonderful job
of keeping it together under the circumstances.
I think you'll do fine tomorrow.
From reading ALL your posts,I greatly admire your courage
in coping with what has to be an unimaginable time
of pain for you .
Just keep Telling yourself "I'm doing the best I can",
and allow yourself to grieve.
I'm glad you took a little down time for yourself .
There are so many stages of grieving and emotions
you will still have to deal with.
Please take care of yourself.
From what I've read,you and Dh have been doing
a great job helping take care of your mom.
My sympathies and heart go out to you all.
Sending you hugs and hoping tomorrow goes as well
as possible for you.
If you need to leave,do so.
Just do as much as you can.

Keep posting and know that so many here
will be thinking of you tomorrow.
May you sleep well tonight.
Hugs, Marilyn

(You probably don't remember me,
but I feel as tho I know you, your cats,
your job,trips,etc.,since we've been on these boards
from around the same time.
I do lurk more than I post and come back and forth
every few months.)

 

[Alice28]

(((((Tammi)))))

I have really been feeling for you over the last couple of weeks. I haven't replied much to your posts, but I have thought of you often - what an incredibly difficult time for you and your family. It's hard to know what to say and I guess that's why I haven't posted much- losing a parent is a very difficult thing. My father in law died very suddenly two years ago, and although it was of a stroke, it really shook DH to the core.

I'm glad you were able to have a down day and just let your brain recharge a bit. Take it easy, day by day and I know you will get through it. Here is a little sunshine for you .

 

[Aprille]

Glad to hear you had a better day yesterday. Hope work isn't as bad as you're dreading. Usually the dread is the worst part.

 

[Dan Murphy]

A day at a time, Tammi, you move one at a time. You say it so well here...

...If I can make a full day (or more), great. If not..... Well, we'll see...

It you do, great, if not, fine too.

 

[goofy4tink]

Exactly what Dan said Tammi. One day at a time. Just do what you can do. We're thinking of you and pulling for you. Keep up the good work. Prayers and hugs for you

 

[wdwnutze]

Tammi,
I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Today will be tough but do what you can. If you can't stay the whole day, then don't. Remember, we are here for you to vent to. YOu are dealing with a lot and you are doing a wonderful job. You are very strong.

 

[helenabear]

Tammi, glad to hear that yesterday seemed to be an okay day. Good luck today at work and remember to take it an hour at a time if needed

 

[Curly Q]

Hey Tammi, hope all goes well today.

 

[snoopy]

Hoping your day goes o.k. today Tammi. Keeping you close to my heart today and every day.

 

[Serena]

You are handling things remarkably well.