Thursday, June 2nd Were Chaffed to Bits
We were up and at em again this morning to meet Paula and Wes at the appointed time (that would be 9:00). We were headed to the Animal Kingdom (by way of Blizzard Beach) this morning. We were at the part in the standard water park spiel where the announcer says that young children in diapers must wear swim diapers or plastic pants at all times in the water park. Paula, not realizing that we were listening to a water park announcement and thinking that it was the regular Animal Kingdom announcement that we were hearing, started and looked up quickly when she only heard must wear plastic pants in the park at all times. When I explained that the announcement was referring to WATER parks, she was much relieved. Im fairly certain that if you wore plastic pants to a park during the summer heat and humidity, youd sweat to death in a matter of hours.
Another announcement that always makes me laugh is the generic up and off the bus announcement that says to gather all your personal belongings and take small children by the hand. Apparently it doesnt matter if theyre necessarily YOUR small children or not. Just take small children in general by the hand (and watch them (and their parents) freak out).
Once in the park Larry obligingly headed to Expedition Everest for Fast Passes while Paula, Wes and I made our way to Africa and Kilimanjaro Safari. When Larry showed up we got our usual pineapple spears (it must be the power of suggestion that makes us crave pineapple when were at the Animal Kingdom) and I even found the fruit, cheese and cracker snack that I had been looking for all week. Unfortunately, it wasnt available as a snack credit, but I bought one anyway just because I had been craving it all week and this was the first time I had seen one. Paula was having trouble with one of her legs cramping so she wanted to sit a bit until it felt better. Wes went to the fruit stand and got a banana for her.
One of Devine's lesser known and not quite so impressive siblings.
Larry and I decided to walk the Pangani Trail while Paula rested her leg so Larry could get some pictures. Paula and Wes said theyd come along behind us in a little while. Once we were all through the trail we were able to get Fast Passes for Kilimanjaro Safari before heading to Expedition Everest to use our first Fast Passes.
I love all the details, like the wiring in Nepal. Larry would tell you that it's Nepalling. And he'd tell you several times just to make sure you got it.
Wes doesnt do Everest so he split off to find a bathroom and then meet up with us in the gift shop later. Since Larry and I had already ridden Everest in the front car earlier in the week, I told Paula and Larry that they should queue for the front and I would go it alone. I was put on the waiting train and they were on the very next train behind me.
Wes came in to the gift shop just a few seconds after I finished my ride and Paula and Larry were just a few minutes after that.
When offered the choice between Chinese food, Barbeque, or pizza for lunch, the majority thought Chinese food sounded best so we struck out for Yak and Yeti Counter Service. Larry peeled off from the group as we went past Kali River Rapids so he could pick up Fast Passes while the rest of us went on ahead to order. Larry wanted his usual Sweet and Sour Chicken for lunch but I wasnt in the mood for something as heavy as my usual Honey Chicken, especially since I had just had it a few days earlier. I opted instead to use up a couple of our massive supply of snack credits on an order of Fried Rice and an Egg Roll. I got two cups of ice water along with the beverage that came with Larrys meal for us to drink and the chocolate cake (minus the hour or two in my purse in the heat) for our dessert.
We found a table in the back and enjoyed our meal in the company of a few well mannered ducks. I did feel bad that I had a packet of Duck Sauce on our tray for my egg roll. I hope they didnt notice. Paula and Wes had both opted for the Frozen Lemonade for their dessert option and were having a bit of an issue with the tartness factor of the lemonade. Paula offered a bite to me (Why do you always make the people you love taste the vile food that you hate? And, better yet, why do you always go ahead and taste it when theyve already said it was bad?) and I agreed that it was some seriously sour toxic lemonade. Paula abandoned hers halfway through. Wes manfully finished his, but only because it was cool.
After lunch, it was time for our Kilimanjaro Fast Passes so we traipsed off to Africa and boarded our waiting vehicle. Wes and I graciously offered to put Larry and Paula on the outsides of the row since they are the ones that take pictures. Larry was on the outside left, then me, then Wes, and then Paula on the outside right. We saw tons of animals on this particular safari (so much for them being less active in the heat of the day), all of which were on the Left side of the truck. We felt bad for Paula that she wasnt getting any pictures but it actually became so sad it was funny. (People on the left side of the truck: we hate the people on the right side of the truck. They are ruining everything.) I think she finally got a good picture of three white rhinos and one of an ostrich, but that was seriously about it. We even got to see two elephants playing in the water together to cool off. It was so hot, I was kind of hoping one of them would squirt us.
This real elephant on the Safari was hot, you could tell. I don't know why they don't teach them that sit-in-a-pool-with-your-front-legs-in-the-air-trick like they do on the Jungle Cruise, though.
Yeah, like that.
After the safari, since we were headed back to Asia anyway for Kali River Rapids, we stopped at Flights of Wonder just in time for the next show. I like the fact that you can get a different show every time depending on what the birds will or will not do. Today, for example, the hawk wouldnt fly because there was a duck (not part of the show) flying around in the theater. (Maybe he had heard about the duck sauce and was staging a protest.) Ive never really seen a hawk that was afraid of a duck before, but this one was, at the very least, intimidated by the duck.
After the show, Paula and I were debating whether we should do Kali River Rapids or the Maharajah Jungle trail next. I said that we should walk the trail first because, if we got really soaked on the Rapids, we might be too wet for tigers afterwards. About this time Larry came up and asked what was next and we told him we were debating between Kali River Rapids and seeing the tigers. Larry immediately said we should do the trail first because no one wanted to be too wet for tigers. I personally think Too Wet for Tigers would make an excellent name for a band. You could even spell it ala Prince with the numbers instead of words: 2 Wet 4 Tigers. Do you think maybe Prince was the godfather of bad texting spelling and grammar?
Anyway, Jungle trail it was. First up were the bats and they were, um, manly shall we say? I dont think there was a female bat in the whole bunch. Am I the only one who thinks that their, how shall I say it, nether-regions look like Hidden Mickeys? I mean, I know the Imagineers are good but
.
Paula and Larry both got some excellent Tiger pictures because, just as we got to the Tigers area, a Cast Member came to tempt them out into the open with a lovely snack of raw, giant meatballs. Yum. As Paula said, for all we know, the meatballs were made of Cast Members who didnt keep up that peppy Disney attitude.
I can has Cast Member cheezburger?
Further along the trail, Larry and I ran into the most needy Cast Member ever. Somehow Paula and Wes managed to escape his clutches. We had stopped for just a second along the path (my foot was on fire and I was just stopping for a moment to shift all my weight on to my other foot and let the hurt one rest) when the Cast Member leeched up to us and said, Tigers. Are you looking for tigers? I can help you find tigers. Do you want to talk about animals? Whats your favorite animal and Ill tell you about it. Do you like tigers or monkeys? When Larry said that he liked the hippopotamus, the CM looked hurt and said, Well, obviously those are on the OTHER trail, but I can tell you about monkeys. Everybody loves monkeys! Why if you look over this way
We said a polite thank you and began to move away.
Dont leave me! his eyes screamed at us. I have to tell people about the animals! Dont let them make me into Tiger Meatballs! I felt bad for backing away. Soylent Green is PEOPLE!
After we made our escape, I felt almost sorry for the poor man, but Larry was a bit less kind. When I want to talk to you, Ill give you a sign. Like, my lips will be moving!
"Ancient" paintings in the "ancient" ruins. And by "ancient" I mean 13 years old.
By this time, hot was a word that wouldnt even begin to describe the ambient temperature. I was feeling the effects of having only had a small cup of water and half of a diet coke to drink, so I felt the need for some serious rehydration. I told Larry, Paula, and Wes that while they went on Kali River Rapids and rehydrated their outsides, I was going to get a coke the size of my head, sit in the shade somewhere and hydrate my insides. They went off for the ride while I got a large diet coke at Yak and Yeti and found a large rock under a tree close to the exit of Kali River Rapids.
I was feeling almost human again by the time they showed up. It looked like Paula had taken the brunt of the water and she was walking that special way that only sopping wet denim shorts can make you walk. Im chaffed to bits! was her assessment.
It was after 4:00 and we were all lagging so we decided wed go back to the resort for some rest. I had been wanting to go swimming all week but always wimped out once I got back to the air conditioned room and heard the bed calling my name, so I vowed that I was getting in the pool this afternoon or die trying!
Back at the hotel, Larry opted for a nap but Paula and Wes said that they were going to rest for just a few minutes and then theyd meet me at the pool. I got changed into my swimming suit, grabbed a beach towel that wed brought from home and then found a table by the pool where I could leave my sandals/towel, etc.
As I walked over to the steps of the pool, I noticed a father and his two children swimming around the area. There was a boy who looked about 5 and a girl who looked about 8. As I started descending the steps into the pool the little boy came over to me, stared for a moment, blinked, and then stated, You look funny. Gee, thanks kid.
I do? I asked.
Yep, he said. Your legs look funny.
By this time, the father had heard him and was absolutely mortified. Carter, come here! he hissed. Get over here RIGHT NOW!
Wanting to clarify why my legs looked funny, I spoke again. Because theyre so white? I prompted.
Yes, he replied. They look funny.
The big sister, who had also heard the exchange, paddled calmly by now and said, I think you look very pretty today, maam.
Thank you, I said, winking at her as the dad had reached Carter by now and was not-so-gently removing him from the pool by one arm and was whispering, Dont you EVER say that to anyone! I mean it! as he pulled Carter back to their table and, what I can only assume was a time-out.
Hurrying to get my funny looking legs into the water and out of sight, I finished descending into the pool which was the perfect temperature and felt like sliding into a little slice of heaven. Paula and Wes showed up before too long and we spent a good hour or so just enjoying the fact that we actually had chill bumps on our arms.
I got out of the pool first and sat at the table to dry off for a bit. Paula and Wes soon joined me and we decided that we were starving! I dont know why swimming always makes you so hungry. I decided that two snack options did not a lunch make, so I was ready for some food. We decided that wed all go and get cleaned up and meet back at the pool at 8:00 to take a bus to Downtown Disney to eat at Wolfgang Puck Express.
I went back to the room, got a shower and then woke Larry up. We were dressed and ready to go by 8:00 and on the Downtown Disney bus with Paula and Wes by 8:15.
Once we got to Downtown Disney, we headed straight for Wolfgang Puck Express. There was a bit of a queue, but it moved fairly quickly. While we stood in line we got to look at the food that belonged to people sitting close by and everything we saw looked delicious. I finally decided on the Margherita Pizza (tomatoes, mozzarella, parmesan and fresh basil) while Larry got the Spaghetti and Meatballs. We both opted for the crème brulee for dessert. Paula and Wes both got pizza too (Paula got the four cheese pesto and I cant remember what Wes had, but it looked good too). Wes got crème brulee but Paula had the cheesecake.
We quickly decided that this was the best meal of the whole trip. I hate to even mention it because I dont want to give Disney any ideas, but I would not be disappointed in this as a table service option, much less a quick service meal. Anyway, we enjoyed the meal immensely and just about licked our plates clean.
Afterwards we browsed through several shops. We looked through the Gourmet Pantry and the Earl of Sandwich. When did they quit carrying the UK merchandise at Earl of Sandwich? Last time I was there they had a little collection of tea pots, t-shirts, double-decker busses, etc.
Legomaleficent. Which would be a great name for a Death Metal Band.
I was looking for something small to bring back to the folks in my office (theres 14 of us) and hit the jackpot in Fun Finds where I found some Mickey pencil sets. Two sets of those and some Disney character chocolate coins from Goofys Candy Company and I was in good shape. Larry also picked up some candy to take back to his office as well.
We found Paula and Wes looking through the pin store. We quickly went through Team Mickey and TrenD (I find it very scary in there. What have they done to Minnie to make her so anorexic and misshapen?), stopped off at Ghirardelli for a free chocolate sample and then went to World of Disney so I could pick up a monorail t-shirt for my nephew.
After a little more browsing, we decided to call it a night. Larry wanted to walk through Please Island to see the carnage of the closed up Comedy Warehouse and Adventurers Club so he said that he would take a quick stroll through and just meet us back at the resort.
As Paula, Wes and I walked back across the Marketplace, we passed by the Little Miss Matched store for the first time. Holy cow! That store is like a color seizure. Its so bright that I think I actually burned my retinas just looking at it. I was like they cranked the color up to 11 and ripped off the knob!
Jam-packed with Kapow!
We headed to the Marketplace bus stop where we didnt have too long a wait for the next bus. The bus driver loaded all of the passengers and then proceeded to drive with the internal lights on to the West Side bus stop where Larry was waiting. After Larry got aboard, we drove for at least 10 more minutes and could still see Downtown Disney. Thats one drawback about Downtown Disney at night: it has so much traffic and stop lights around it that it takes forever to get anywhere.
We finally made it back to the room around 11:45. Larry was thirsty so he volunteered to make a quick run to the food court for some diet cokes. He was back by midnight.