Weird question: how to ask servers to tone it down?

[HuskyGal]

Weird question but I’m and introvert and feel uncomfortable with how in your face the dining staff is, like they are our instant best friends. I don’t mind the occasional magic trick but the constant joking and talking and pressuring us if we liked the food just because we couldn’t finish is too much for me. Makes me want to avoid the main dining room for dinner.
How to tell them to tone it down and let us have some family time while we are eating?

 

[ironz]

Just let them know nicely-- that you like a quiet dinner and after a day on the ship, just want some quiet time.
I also did let our servers know one time that I don't eat huge portions, so to never think I didn't like food if I didn't eat it all, that I just don't eat as much is as served.
As 2 adults, we've never had servers be "in our face" about dining. They're friendly, and of course, ask to make sure things are well, but we've never felt them to be intrusive.
I get it that you're an introvert, but it is possible for you to just let them know how much interaction you prefer. They won't (or shouldn't) take it personally.

 

[HuskyGal]

Just let them know nicely-- that you like a quiet dinner and after a day on the ship, just want some quiet time.
I also did let our servers know one time that I don't eat huge portions, so to never think I didn't like food if I didn't eat it all, that I just don't eat as much is as served.
As 2 adults, we've never had servers be "in our face" about dining. They're friendly, and of course, ask to make sure things are well, but we've never felt them to be intrusive.
I get it that you're an introvert, but it is possible for you to just let them know how much interaction you prefer. They won't (or shouldn't) take it personally.

Thank you for the suggestions.

 

[ironz]

Thank you for the suggestions.

I hope it helps. I get it-- I have a friend who is quite an introvert, and very non-confrontational, but it seems just easier to have a quick talk with the servers (or the head server) right up front about it, rather than suffering through it or avoiding the MDR. Good luck!

 

[tinkerone]

I have told our servers, on the first night, that we are 'low maintenance' and please feel free to spend more time with other tables. I also mention that we snack throughout the day and may not finish everything, not to worry.
This tells them pretty much what you want to tell them without sounding ungrateful. It also gives them an out when they have so many tables who do want that extra attention. It works for us.

 

[oceanbec]

I agree with the previous replies. When on my first cruise, I missed a night in the MDR, and the next night I was interrogated by the servers about where we were and why we weren't there and if we were coming the rest of the cruise. That was a big nope for me and so the rest of the cruise we just ordered dinner from the dining room into the suite. The last thing I want on vacation is to answer to anyone about my whereabouts or my plans. The next couple of cruises we opted out of the MDRs entirely and just had dinners in the suite. On a recent cruise though, we went back to the MDRs and really had a nice experience. It was a shorter cruise, so we did attend every night. I'm prepared for our upcoming longer cruise to let the servers know on the first night that I don't like being tied down to the MDR and that it is nothing personal and I will still tip. I think that will handle it.

 

[HuskyGal]

Ok. Will be assertive and let them know. We cruise at the end of March. DH has requested to skip MDR because he gets too full. He’s not necessarily an introvert but not THAT much of an extrovert to want people in his face like that. I think he’s uncomfortable with the fake best friends thing too or uncomfortable with me being uncomfortable.
Thanks, everyone.

 

[Mechelle Walker]

I agree, a simple request to have a quiet dinner should suffice. The staff live to please and the service is second to none. Enjoy!

 

[HuskyGal]

I agree, a simple request to have a quiet dinner should suffice. The staff live to please and the service is second to none. Enjoy!

Thank you. I like your wording, request to have quiet dinners. Should I add uninterrupted or does that sound rude? We’re not stuffy, we’re very casual. Maybe it’s cruise culture to be overly friendly?

 

[deliela999]

I agree with the previous replies. When on my first cruise, I missed a night in the MDR, and the next night I was interrogated by the servers about where we were and why we weren't there and if we were coming the rest of the cruise. That was a big nope for me and so the rest of the cruise we just ordered dinner from the dining room into the suite. The last thing I want on vacation is to answer to anyone about my whereabouts or my plans. The next couple of cruises we opted out of the MDRs entirely and just had dinners in the suite. On a recent cruise though, we went back to the MDRs and really had a nice experience. It was a shorter cruise, so we did attend every night. I'm prepared for our upcoming longer cruise to let the servers know on the first night that I don't like being tied down to the MDR and that it is nothing personal and I will still tip. I think that will handle it.

We left without dessert the first 2 nights and later on the 2nd night the head waiter called us to make sure everything was ok. We don't eat that much at one time and were full! Our waiters were struggling and not that attentive, which worked for us. We were full and our daughter was DONE by dessert time so we left. We had more than enough ice cream to make up for it, but on the 3rd night I took dessert to go and ate it in our room.

 

[Frwinkley]

This is a really interesting thread! We've only cruised a few times and have an Alaska cruise planned for this summer. We are extremely low-maintenance and don't like being fussed over...it makes us both uncomfortable. We also tend to "eat and run", always wanting to do other things.

 

[squirk]

If you want to get ahead of the curve, you could email Guest Communications before your cruise.

Give them your name, reservation, ship and sailing date, and just parrot what folks above have already suggested - that you are low maintenance, don’t require much attention, and would prefer to keep it all low-key.

I like @tinkerone’s idea about mentioning that this will free up the servers to spend more time at other tables that might appreciate all the hullabaloo. Or, God bless them, this might allow the servers a chance to slow down a bit and take a breath.

That information will make its way to your servers before your first dinner, and they will (presumably) dial it down a notch without you having to say anything to them face-to-face on the ship.

 

[Karin1984]

I didn't ask anything, I think the waiters felt the energy at our table. We saw them to take our orders, bring our orders and to ask if everything was ok. And that's exactly how we liked it.
To me it was like with character meets, they feel / have been trained to see how far they can go and what these guests appreciate.

 

[Sunshine2U]

We have usually had fantastic service. On the last cruise - not so much. It was apparent that things were off but the thing that did it for me when the server came and sat next to me at my table to ask me if I was unhappy. I was appalled that she would sit down and act like we were girlfriends there for a chat. I told her I was unhappy for obvious reasons and then told her that I did not plan for that to affect the end of cruise gratuity because things happen. For a strange reason that seemed to relax everything from that point forward - for them to know: do the best you can, we appreciate the effort. Bottom line they have seen it all. There is also pressure to perform because they do rely on gratuities. For the OP to give them permission NOT to go overboard or spend too much time at the table actually HELPS them, rather than insults them - I would think.

 

[Geomom]

As far as the food, I'd definitely state up front that you're light eaters, that just because there's food left on your plate doesn't mean you don't like it. My oldest daughter doesn't eat much and we made sure we let them know that she's fine and just doesn't eat much...and she's saving room for dessert!

 

[dclpluto]

You just tell them what you want.

 

[mousefan73]

Interesting thread, I agree sometimes too much is too much, but the over attentive waitstaff, jokes, games is a USP for DCL and that is why many cruise with them. I would think you need explictively state your wishes.. as being overly talkative, attentive, best friendly is simply a Disney job requirement.

 

[Marc D]

Like PP said, I think you need to place yourself in the shoes of waiters. Most guests want and expect them to behave a certain way and will not miss the dining rooms unless something is wrong. They also work for the gratuities and it’s normal for them to worry about guests not enjoying themselves, since all three food ratings in the survey - including quality, which is ridiculous - go to their personal file.

They can manage you being low-maintenance, introverts, eating less than the normal cruiser, wanting to eat fast or all other requirements, but do not expect them to do so through innuendos or require them to ‘read the table’. They have a lot to manage already and you can’t expect them to understand any of that through your body language or the way you leave your plate after a dish is served. Be clear. They will not take offense.

If you decide to skip the dining rooms because of any of that, it’s your loss. The MDR experience is integral to DCL cruising, and it can be tailored to your needs both through food and service, but you need to meet the service team half-way.

If it makes you uncomfortable to ‘have the talk’ at the table on the first night, go to the dining changes location at 12:30 on embarkation day. Ask who’s the head server in charge of your section and mention your needs to him/her. You’ll be welcomed in the MDR like you want to be from the first meal on.

 

[HuskyGal]

Thanks, everyone. I think I understand now that that is the expectation. I’ll make sure to communicate our needs clearly.

 

[lorenni]

Thanks, everyone. I think I understand now that that is the expectation. I’ll make sure to communicate our needs clearly.

And with all of that, skip the MDR if you’re just not up for it. We skip it at least once per cruise and either go to Cabanas for a much shorter sit down meal, or we grab food by the pool. I don’t go out to eat 7 days a week at home and I am seriously peopled out by day 3 of a cruise so if my people points are blown, I have no problem skipping the MDR.

I definitely don’t consider it “my loss” - it’s my vacation and I do whatever is going to result in a more relaxing evening for me.