Weird experience at the mall

[BonnieA]

Had an experience like that at Universal Studios. I was sitting in my scooter while my friend had a smoke. This young man came by and noticed that I have a large scar on my knee (severe burn as a child). He asked if that was the reason I used the scooter. I told him yes (it wasn't completely the reason but he didn't need to know everything). He was convinced the Lord was going to cure my scar. He asked if he could pray over it. I told him to knock himself out. He prayed and said that the scar was going to go away. Yea, sure. I've been waiting ever since and nothing. That was 2 years ago. At least me and my friend got a good laugh out of it.

 

[TheDisneyDoll]

Curiosity gets the better of people sometimes. It's far better to have someone ask rather then just stare at you though. At least when they ask you can use it as an opportunity to provide them with a small bit of education regarding your ailment.
Not sure rudeness in return is the proper answer for a situation like that, sometimes a little kindness and an explanation gets you farther.

 

[Lisaloo]

Curiosity gets the better of people sometimes. It's far better to have someone ask rather then just stare at you though. At least when they ask you can use it as an opportunity to provide them with a small bit of education regarding your ailment.
Not sure rudeness in return is the proper answer for a situation like that, sometimes a little kindness and an explanation gets you farther.

So the options are being stared at or rudely questioned? How about neither, thank you.

 

[POOHsie]

I am stopped and questioned all the time about my scooter. It is unusual because its a Tzora travel scooter in pink. The other day a lady was asking so many questions that when she left, DD said she was waiting for her to ask to try it out! I just smile and answer all the questions I can about it.

I agree it sounds like he could have been on the spectrum.

I get asked about my scooter, too. I have a mini van with an inside scooter lift where the third row seats normally go. Getting the scooter in/out of the tailgate door brings inquiring folks who are genuinely curious about the scooter and the lift. Maybe they're nosy but, as pointed out, people usually don't seriously notice medical equipment until they or their loved one/dear friend come to a point of needing an assistive device for their normal life. Then the questions begin. I was there once. So I don't mind sharing what I can.

 

[lanejudy]

I would probably assume he has a problem with impulse control and just answer his question. He might be on the spectrum. Who knows.

This was my thought exactly! I have a brother with autism and I can totally see him asking a stranger why they have a cane. Not trying to be rude or aggressive or anything else--just genuinely curious about such things! And just a simple, "Because I might fall without it" or something similar would send him on his way!

I also had this same thought. It sounds very much like some of the people I know with cognitive and/or social challenges, whether officially on the ASD spectrum or other diagnoses. My DD frequently asks me such questions, and she is outgoing enough that I could see her asking the person directly if I wasn't around. We work on social etiquette, but it hasn't sunk in yet. She really is just very caring and curious.

I understand how it can be frustrating and annoying to be asked questions from strangers about something personal. Wouldn't it be perfect if everyone simply accepted everyone else's differences without question? Absolutely! We all have differences, some are just more visual than others. Unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world.

 

[ravenclawtrekkie]

Answer: "To hit people who ask me silly questions, of course."

 

[Baklava]

My immediate thought was that he's got Asperger's and didn't understand that he was being inappropriate. Maybe he's just a jerk, but maybe there was a reason he was being the way he was.

 

[mamabunny]

I fully realize that everyone has a different comfort level when it comes to this sort of thing. My tolerance for questions & stares has grown over the years. This is probably because I am getting to be OLD. Our daughter is (at the tender age of 21) fascinated by the fact that I actually had an 8-track tape player in my first car - and that it was "cutting edge technology" at the time. So, you do that math!

My mom was a Special Needs teacher back in the day... In fact, she was one of the first Special Needs teachers deployed in our state many years ago. She had all kinds of kids in her room; nowadays we would recognize them as being on the spectrum, or as ADHD, etc. Back then, they were often labeled as "disruptive" and often essentially corralled in classrooms to keep them from distracting the "normal" children. On more than one occasion, I heard her tell the parents of her students that "everyone has *something* "wrong" with them. Some people can't do math, some people can't read because of dyslexia or poor vision, and some people can't sit still. That doesn't mean they don't have VALUE and it doesn't mean that they are "doing school wrong". It just means they are *different*." Her compassion for those children stemmed in no small part from the fact that my brother was profoundly autistic.

So I grew up surrounded by these kids; I often babysat the kids from her classes as I got older. The OP's experience wouldn't have probably phased me in the least. To me, there's all kinds of "normal", and my "normal" does not have to look like (or feel like, or behave like) yours.

Like some others here, I view these interactions as an opportunity to help others learn. By answering questions (I also have a scooter that is "different" due to it's small size, and the lights on it; it attracts attention when we are out and about) and being friendly, I hope that I am helping those who are curious to realize that disabilities come in all shapes, sizes, colors, variations, and flavors of visibility. Our daughter says that I "openly embrace my different" LOL.

Yes, there are times when I really am not in the mood to answer the inevitable questions; there are times when I just want to be invisible. And there are times when I am tempted to just keep going - to pretend that I didn't hear the question.

But I stop, and chat with these folks, because most of the time, they are genuinely curious; often because they see it being loaded/unloaded from the back of our Kia Soul, and are impressed by it's small size and light weight. I have had more "parking lot Q&A's" (as my family calls them) than I can count.

Do I really make a difference? Does it really matter in the end? I don't honestly know. I certainly hope so. One person CAN make a difference, and I sincerely hope that my positive interactions with others ripple out, and start discussions, and change opinions, and help others. The only way that can happen is if I try.

 

[01spirit750]

I read a funny response to rude questions:

"I usually don't talk about it, but what I have is highly contagious".

 

[ember303]

when we were at the mall-last minute shopping before coming back home


A random guy followed us ( I saw him out the corner of my eye) he then sped up, stood in front of me and asked why I used a cane?!

I've never experienced a total stranger querying my medical conditions before - in my head there were many expletives


Has anyone else ever been in such a situation?

No never had this certain situation. However many times I have asked my my 7 year needs a big stroller. I just smile and say he has health problems. You can tell the nosey rude people ; ) and they do not deserve an answer. However sometimes other mommas ask me with the empathetic voice. Like they are sad for him, and just wonder. I then am more than happy to tell anyone who is just curious but sweet.

 

[redberyl]

Our grocer store has wheelchairs with small grocery carts attached. Normally my daughter can manage the grocery store, but shes recovering from pneumonia so not today. Shes too big for the carts now, so we used the wheelchair cartfor the first time. Weve never been stared at so much! One woman stared so long and hard she actually crashed her cart into someone! Dont know if they were wondering why she didnt ride in a cart or why i didnt just make her walk. She has a trach but otherwise looks healthy.

 

[KPeveler]

I usually tell them something funny that lets them know that they crossed a line. Usually I tell them I was abducted by aliens.

 

[gap2368]

I wear a medical device on my arm ( a Contuses Glucose sensor) I have had people ask me if it is a smoking patch ( or the great job on trying to stop smoking) the thing dose not look any thing like a stop smoking patch I tell people that I have type 1 diabetes witch in turn gives me this very sad look and an oh you have the really bad kind of diabetes well you do not look fat so it would go way way soon or you have not turned back into a type 2 yet, if I am in a good mood then I will tell them the difference in type 1 and type 2 if not I will right when they finish saying so you have the bad kind interrupt them and say oh boy ( very excitedly too) where can I get the good diabetes and then walk a way with out giving them the chance to replay to it.

but I do try to educate as much as I can since a lot ( and I do mean A LOT of people have no clue about type 1 diabetes) education one person at a time.

 

[oynk]

I guess I take it differently. We've tried to teach my daughter that her disability is just a part of who she is, like hair color or being right handed.

To me, I see it more like a conversation starter. Kind of like if you spoke with an accent someone might ask you where you were from.

When she first started using the wheelchair, we were very sensitive. She has 2 pins we made. One says "Invisible disabilities are like the wind,. They can be felt even when they can't be seen." The other says, "Some days I can still run and play. Don't judge me, be happy for me. "

We get a lot of comments and hopefully educate a few people in the process.

 

[JennyDrake]

He also may have a social issue sucjas ASP and not realize what he is asking is inappropriate.