Weekend Long Bachelor Parties--Are They Appropriate?

[Bob Slydell]

I remember your thread about the wedding and I agreed that was completely wrong. This, however, I disagree with you. I see nothing wrong with a weekend bachelor party. It's just a "guy's weekend". I go away for girls weekends. No difference.

I agree with you, but I also wouldn't blame the OP is she preferred her DH didn't go, especially given the fact that the groom planned on hooking up her DH with someone at his wedding.

 

[Cthia]

No he's not going to the wedding. Not after I found out I wasn't invited because the groom wanted him to be another woman's date!

That is just wrong. I hate to say this but they don't sound like very good friends if they don't invite you to the wedding and try to basically set him up with another woman.

I remember the thread about the destination wedding, I guess I forgot the part about them not inviting you.

Sounds like some really nice friends he has there.

 

[Minnesota!]

I see no problem with it - if the money isn't a factor. If we had the money, and DH got an invite - I would send him off on his merry way!

 

[Jynohn]

I see no problem with it - if the money isn't a factor.

I think that's a small part of it too. We're in the process of buying a house (moving this weekend in fact!) and while we could technically "afford" it, it just seems like an awful lot of money to spend for a weekend of drinking and strippers.

I think most of all, DH and I just feel like the groom is alienating a lot of people. First with the destination wedding in an exclusive "couples only" resort, now with the bachelor party. Like I mentioned before, this isn't a bunch of 20 something year old guys we're talking about, but married guys in their mid 30's with families and other stuff to spend their money on. And given the friends track record with his first marriage and the fact that he was so disrespectful to MY marriage, the idea of sending DH off to another country with this guy just doesn't thrill me.

Don't get me wrong, I trust DH completely and have no problem with him going to bachelor parties. And while strip clubs don't thrill me, I could live with that too. It's the weekend in a hotel in another country thing that bugs. Seems to me like nothing good can come of that situation. Maybe more than just "strippers" there if you get my meaning.

Anyway, I'm most likely projecting my distaste for this friend on the whole weekend party thing, but that's why I was looking for other opinions.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

When my friend got married and had her bachlorette party, another friend of hers had a cottage by a lake a couple hours from home.

We all went for the weekend. It was alot of fun. But around here, weekend bachlor/bachlorette parties are not the norm.

 

[jbdreamer]

I would have no problem with my DH going away for the weekend with the guys. It sounds fun!

However from your discription this particular groom sounds like a jerk, and I would ask my DH to find a new friend. I am happy for you that he has choosen not to go.

 

[Buckalew11]

No he's not going to the wedding. Not after I found out I wasn't invited because the groom wanted him to be another woman's date!

WHAT???? I doubt I refer to this guy as a friend.

 

[Buckalew11]

I agree with you, but I also wouldn't blame the OP is she preferred her DH didn't go, especially given the fact that the groom planned on hooking up her DH with someone at his wedding.

Dang, I'd hope that her DH would prefer not to go either based on no invitation for his wife and the fact that his friend was setting him up with another woman. I see he is choosing not to go.

That is one messed up man ("man" used loosely here).
OP, let us know how long this guy's married lasts, OK?

 

[TDC Nala]

I think they're entitled to do anything they want. Each person invited also is entitled to decide whether or not they want to go, for whatever reason.

I don't have a spouse, but if I did, I'd turn down any wedding for which the spouse was not included. I don't care whose wedding it is.

Good grief, can't he get a single guy to be someone's date?

 

[Dan Murphy]

You hubby's 'friend' sounds like he is in serious need of education.

 

[Planogirl]

I see nothing wrong with the bachelor party weekend itself even though it's in another country. There's nothing wrong with Canada and it would likely be fun.

However, the wedding is another matter. What a weird situation that is!

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I think that's a small part of it too. We're in the process of buying a house (moving this weekend in fact!) and while we could technically "afford" it, it just seems like an awful lot of money to spend for a weekend of drinking and strippers.

I think most of all, DH and I just feel like the groom is alienating a lot of people. First with the destination wedding in an exclusive "couples only" resort, now with the bachelor party. Like I mentioned before, this isn't a bunch of 20 something year old guys we're talking about, but married guys in their mid 30's with families and other stuff to spend their money on. And given the friends track record with his first marriage and the fact that he was so disrespectful to MY marriage, the idea of sending DH off to another country with this guy just doesn't thrill me.

Don't get me wrong, I trust DH completely and have no problem with him going to bachelor parties. And while strip clubs don't thrill me, I could live with that too. It's the weekend in a hotel in another country thing that bugs. Seems to me like nothing good can come of that situation. Maybe more than just "strippers" there if you get my meaning.

Anyway, I'm most likely projecting my distaste for this friend on the whole weekend party thing, but that's why I was looking for other opinions.

Normally I wouldn't object to a weekend-long bachelor party. However, based on everything you just said, given the history with this friend AND the fact that you weren't invited to the wedding, I think your answer should be no. In fact, not just no, but HELL NO!

 

[Stacerita]

Normally I wouldn't object to a weekend-long bachelor party. However, based on everything you just said, given the history with this friend AND the fact that you weren't invited to the wedding, I think your answer should be no. In fact, not just no, but HELL NO!

Have to agree with this.

The majority of my friends and family who have been married in the last few years have done weekend long bachelor/bachelorette parties. Nothing to crazy. Vegas trip or camping/boating at the river. Im hosting a weekend long one for my friend this June. We will be heading out of town to a resort, going to visit some wineries and do some tasting, and have a nice enjoyable weekend of "girl time" before she gets married.

 

[azgal81]

I don't see a problem with it but that might be because I live six hours from vegas. Which seems to be the destination for all bachelor parties from AZ and yes they last the weekend.

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

No he's not going to the wedding. Not after I found out I wasn't invited because the groom wanted him to be another woman's date!

You have got to be kidding...what an idiot friend....

My answer would be the same as Chrisnsteph's.

 

[RadioFanatic]

Some of you may remember I posted a few months ago about DH's best friend who was having a "destination" wedding that I wasn't invited to. Well he's at it again!

DH just got an email with the information for the friend's bachelor party. Looks like they're headed to Montreal for the weekend. Aside from the expense it would entail (easily well over $500 if you take into consideration transportation, hotel, meals, drinks, etc.) do you think bachelor parties that last all weekend long (and held in another country no less!) are appropriate? Keep in mind that the majority of guys invited are not bachelors themselves. We're talking 35 year old guys with wives and kids here, not guys in their early 20's.

DH agrees that it's over the top and will not be going, I was just curious to hear other's opinion on the subject. Although I did tell DH he was more than welcome to go, as long as I could jet off to the Bahamas for the weekend with a few friends, copious amounts of alchohol, and a few strippers

not a big deal to me. In fact that is exactly where and for how long his bachelor party was. It was in Montreal for the express purpose of going to all of the strip clubs. I didn't care as it was dh's idea and I trusted him. No one's spouse, gf, etc. seemed to mind either.