Wedding Thread: How Much To Gift?

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

The only considerations when giving a wedding gift.
1. Your budget.
2. How close you are with the bride and/or the groom and/or their parents.
3. Cash vs the logistics of picking something off the registry.

Sounds like you're extremely close to the bride given you're a MOH and well only you know your budget.

Just be sure to “cover your plate.”

That's a great idea. Cover your plate with your napkin after you're finished so the catering staff know to take it.

 

[mjkacmom]

The only considerations when giving a wedding gift.
1. Your budget.
2. How close you are with the bride and/or the groom and/or their parents.
3. Cash vs the logistics of picking something off the registry.

Sounds like you're extremely close to the bride given you're a MOH and well only you know your budget.


That's a great idea. Cover your plate with your napkin after you're finished so the catering staff know to take it.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/tanyam...t place your cloth,on your plate after eating.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

https://www.forbes.com/sites/tanyamohn/2013/11/27/things-to-do-or-avoid-with-napkins-a-thanksgiving-primer/#:~:text=To recap, Whitmore suggests:&text=Unfold your napkin, just above your lap, underneath the table.&text=Don't blot lipstick on,use it as a handkerchief.&text=Don't place your cloth,on your plate after eating.

 

[mjkacmom]

View attachment 868513

My response was a joke…

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

My response was a joke…

HMMMMMMM.

 

[Donalddidwhat…?!]

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I agree, but it I didn't want to continue to bring it up because I never know if someone might think "dang, we know it already".

That post may have been a good time to bring it up. If someone asked me if I wanted some homemade Amish/Mennonite furniture or $1,000, I'd take the furniture.

 

[DisneylandFreak2013]

Thanks, all! I think maybe I will scale back to $500. She isn't the type of person to nitpick peoples gifts, but I just worry about people viewing things weird or viewing it as not being enough. You all have given me reassurance on that. I make more than any of my friends (that I'm aware of), as most of them are teachers, nurses, and she works for a nonprofit agency. I wasn't sure if my gift should correlate to how much I make.

We're planning our own vacation later this year to Europe, so trying to plan/save for that in addition to the wedding has been crazy

Well, what do you think so far?

I appreciate all of the responses!

 

[DisneylandFreak2013]

The weddings I went to as a kid and younger adult involved gifts that were made. Furniture, clothing, household items were all standard gifts for the new couple. I never saw money given as a gift for a wedding.

That sounds like more my speed. I would soooo love something handmade rather than store bought or cash at this point in life. The love and attention is worth so much more to me.

 

[TippyThomas]

That sounds like more my speed. I would soooo love something handmade rather than store bought or cash at this point in life. The love and attention is worth so much more to me.

As it has been brought up, I did grow up Mennonite so things were very different than most people would experience. The joy people had in making and giving these types of things will always stick with me. Most certainly different, but I think in a good way.

 

[DisneylandFreak2013]

As it has been brought up, I did grow up Mennonite so things were very different than most people would experience. The joy people had in making and giving these types of things will always stick with me. Most certainly different, but I think in a good way.

Definitely in a good way!

 

[Karin1984]

I just worry about people viewing things weird or viewing it as not being enough.

Not to answer here, but for yourself to look into. Who are these people and is their opinion really that important? What happens if these people do not think it is enough, what are the consequences?

It will be interesting to ask the happy couple after the wedding what the average value of the gifts were. (Excluding parents, as they usually give more than friends and distant relatives)

And it'll be even more interesting to know if 'these people' gave something cheaper or more expensive than you ;-) Plenty of people have opinions about how to spend money, but don't follow their own advice.

 

[_19disnA]

ANY wedding invite where they list the cost of the meal is extremely tacky and most likely we would decline the invite to attend...........LOL. It was THEIR choice of where to hold the reception, regardless of where you live there are generally a number of options. If they chose something beyond their means, seems more like poor planning rather than expecting gifts from those attending to cover those costs.

Having a destination wedding requiring guests to travel long distances can also be tricky. Some may not choose to attend due to the high cost of travel/lodging regardless of who is getting married. It is reasonable to understand those attending in person may not give a gift.

Saw a post where Bride & Groom included on their website where you RSVP they told guests that their meal was going to cost B&G $128 per person so to take that into consideration when gifting them. My reply would be to include all my costs in attending ... vacation day, hotel, airfare/car expenses, bought meals, new outfits needed, maybe babysitters ........... and then we see who owes who. If you are hosting a destination wedding or have guests who travel from afar ... you should expect NO gift as they already spending plenty.

 

[mousefan73]

I see things completly different. Honestly. If I were your friend and bride, I would say, you being my MOH and spending all that money in doing so, please dont give me any type of monetary gift that costs you extra. That is what I did with my BF as MOH.. She flew overseas to be at my wedding and that was for me the gift.. She gave me a small token type gift and was happy... I would say it is almost polite for the bride only to take the bottle as this is sentimental and has meaning... and that is it.

I honestly feel wierd my friends giving me cash.... please dont make a scrapbook of our memories instead

 

[HopperFan]

ANY wedding invite where they list the cost of the meal is extremely tacky and most likely we would decline the invite to attend...........LOL. It was THEIR choice of where to hold the reception, regardless of where you live there are generally a number of options. If they chose something beyond their means, seems more like poor planning rather than expecting gifts from those attending to cover those costs.

Having a destination wedding requiring guests to travel long distances can also be tricky. Some may not choose to attend due to the high cost of travel/lodging regardless of who is getting married. It is reasonable to understand those attending in person may not give a gift.

Agree. If I got this invite I would absolutely be declining .... I would never want to cost them more than they could afford ... which by asking is one of those .... "tell me you can't afford your wedding without telling me you can't afford your wedding".

I'm just over the whole thing. We (DH, DD, DSIL and I) bent over backwards to make sure everyone felt welcome, that the wedding party did not have to spend much money and it was a good party with good food & drink. The only negative comment was from sad old man BIL who complained about lyrics on one of the songs ... it was your bedtime anyway, go home.

 

[mmouse37]

https://www.beauporthotel.com/ It seemed like there were several weddings that weekend, but besides ocean front ceremonies the weddings had privacy. Everything was great, it was very apparent that weddings are their thing, the timing of everything was amazing.

This makes me laugh as my mom grew up in Gloucester. It used to be a sleepy fishing village and very inexpensive to live there. It was all just fishermen. It is where the book/movie The Perfect Storm was based. Growing up I spent all my summers at my Grandma's house in Gloucester. The Beauport is fairly new to the area. The whole town of Gloucester exploded over the last several years where you can't touch real estate anymore and "fancy" stores are all around. A lot of it lost its small town charm.

I have heard nice things about that venue. Bet is was wonderful.