Wedding Speech Help

[capegirl]

Okay Disney brides, I am a MOB who needs a little advice. My husband and I are panicked about the possibility of delivering a speech at our daughter's wedding. Back in the day when we were married, the best man gave a toast to the bride and groom. Apparently things have changed, and now parents, the MOH etc., etc. are expected to give speeches. When we explained to our daughter that we were both uncomfortable with this task, as is the bride's sister, who is the MOH, it did not go over well...especially with the groom. We are quiet people, and we just do not like calling attention to ourselves. Call us traditional, but we really can't see anything wrong with the best man giving the speech, or for that matter anyone else should they so desire. The wedding planning was going so well until this issue came up. Now we are in a bad position, as the wedding is almost upon us. Just because we are not speech givers, does not mean that we love our daughter any less. Do you think the bride and groom should respect our wishes? Are we out of line, or perhaps out of date ?

 

[sunkist867]

This is just my two sense with a little help from my bridal ettiquette book...

No one is "required" to make a speech, except traditionally the best man. It has been common now for the maid of honor to make a speech before the best man at the wedding reception. At this time the bride and groom do not have to speak but can if they choose to (a short thanks for coming is usually appropriate). It is also acceptable now for whoever is paying for the wedding reception to say a word or two if they want (usually the brides parents). At the wedding rehersal dinner, it is acceptable for whoever is hosting (usually the grooms parents) to make a short speech and for the bride or groom to say a few short words in response.

But most of your guests do not want to listen to 15 different speeches, it's boring!

No offense to your daughter or future SIL, but it sounds a bit bridezilla and like they just want multiple people to gush about them that day.

However, with all that being said, this is a very petty thing to fight over. I would suggest you or your husband( you both don't need to speak either person can represent both of you), and the MOH write down a very short thanks for coming we wish them all the happiness in the world and get it over with. They will be happy and it's only a few seconds of uncomfortableness. Good luck!

 

[kharmagirl]

I am not having a bridal party, so I asked my dad to give the toast. I'm expecting something short and sweet - no long speech. I agree with the previous poster that people don't want to sit through a lot of talking. I personally want to get on with the eating and dancing.

I would suggest googling wedding toasts and find something you're comfortable with and offer to do that.

 

[capegirl]

Thank you both for your very helpful suggestions. I suppose we really did have an encounter with bridezilla and her groom . I am in total agreement that too many speeches would be boring for our guests. My husband and I had planned on visiting each table during the course of the reception to thank our guests for coming. I'm hoping the whole thing will blow over. We just need a little fairy dust to lighten things up.

 

[Deesknee]

Recently were at a wedding where dear friends of ours were the parents of the bride. They are THE most reserved quiet couple I have ever met. They were told it is "appropriate" for the parent(s) of the bride to say a little something. FOB was more nervous about this than any other aspect. But, rather than make a wave over something that simply made him uncomfortable for all of 1 minute, he did it. It went something like this, Michelle and I would like to thank everyone for coming. We hope you all enjoy yourselves." MOB simply said thank you all for joining (bride & groom) for such an important day in their lives. We wish them all the love they are experiencing today for ever.
Honestly, it was very well recieved. I think it took all of 2 minutes. And it meant so much to the bride, knowing how much her parents put aside their fears and discomfort just to do this for her. FOB told my dh he's glad he did it. His daughter thanked him.
And I, like you, am from the era of the best man doing a toast, and the clergy person or mc of the band doing a blessing. Other than that it was lets get this thing rolling.
I think it would have been nice for my parents to have said a little something. The day went by so quickly, and I don't remember speaking with them at all that day. It was just so busy. (of course it may just seem that way as I've been married so long it is all a fog. lol)

Oh, and you could look at it this way, atleast your DD isn't afraid you will embass her. My dd already told my dh he is NOT allowed to do any type of speach at her wedding. ROFL! Seems not everyone enjoys his sense of humor.
Mostly though, I would like to say.....CONGRATULATIONS! mob!!! Enjoy it.

 

[librarygeek]

I agree that it's not necessary, but it seems the bride and groom are insistent. We only had the best man and maid of honor, and I asked the MOH if she would like to and left it up to her. Too many speeches is definitely too much, so I agree with the above poster. If you're forced into doing it just make it super short, thank everyone, no big deal.

I thought of something else, don't know if this is an option for you guys or if your daughter would be okay with it - but maybe you could offer to make a little speech at the rehearsal dinner instead? That way there's less pressure and usually less people, though I don't know if you're even having a rehearsal dinner or if she's going to be insistent on having it at the wedding. We did have the groom and my brother make a small speech at the rehearsal dinner, though that was completely on the fly as people started demanding speeches! But it was very informal and it was actually a nice touch.

 

[capegirl]

You have all been so kind to respond to our little dilemma. Since we will be hosting the rehearsal dinner, I have asked my husband to toast the bride & groom at this event instead. He is not exactly thrilled about it, but he knows it is a good alternative, and it won't be hanging over our heads on our daughter's wedding day. We have 13 days until the wedding , hope we'll all survive till then.

 

[Deesknee]

You have all been so kind to respond to our little dilemma. Since we will be hosting the rehearsal dinner, I have asked my husband to toast the bride & groom at this event instead. He is not exactly thrilled about it, but he knows it is a good alternative, and it won't be hanging over our heads on our daughter's wedding day. We have 13 days until the wedding , hope we'll all survive till then.

I hope everything goes beautifully. Wonderful time in NE for a wedding.