Wedding registry

[sissy_ib]

How do I do this?
lol
We are getting married in February in the middle of our DCL cruise. We are not having any guests. My future mother-in-law just asked if we had a registry and said people have been asking if we had one.

I have some serious issues asking for things which is part of the reason we are going away to get married. We don't need anything and it feels wrong to ask for things we just want even if it is home stuff. Especially from people we don't even know. So what do I register for? Expensive stuff we want? Cheep stuff we could use? Do I just not bother?
I tried doing a registry a while back and gave up.

We just moved in together after living apart due to us both being in the military. There is very little we don't have. A few small appliances we want is all I can think of. And since we age getting married in the Virgin Islands we weren't planing on invitations. Do I just send out the registry info and look greedy?

Ok this is getting long. Any advice would be appreciated!

 

[BadgerGirl84]

You may want to post this on the Wedding board.

I would recommend creating a registry. If people would like to get you a gift, why not help them with a registry. It costs you nothing but the time to put the list together.

I would recommend selecting a store that is accessible to most guests--Bed Bath and Beyond, Kohls, etc. Go into the store and ask to create a bridal registry. They will give you a scanner and then you are free to go through the store to scan the items you would like to have as a gift.

My husband and I also combined two single households so there were few things we "needed." We focused on the few things we needed, but mostly upgrades. We upgraded our flatware and dishes, our pots and pans, our blender, our coffee maker, etc. The things we purchased on college budgets years ago were not very nice in the looks or functionality category. I would also recommend registering for a range of price items. If you want to register for something big, like a Dyson vac, go ahead--you never know if some people all might go in for a big purchase together.

Best of luck for your wedding and marriage.

 

[sissy_ib]

You may want to post this on the Wedding board.

I would recommend creating a registry. If people would like to get you a gift, why not help them with a registry. It costs you nothing but the time to put the list together.

I would recommend selecting a store that is accessible to most guests--Bed Bath and Beyond, Kohls, etc. Go into the store and ask to create a bridal registry. They will give you a scanner and then you are free to go through the store to scan the items you would like to have as a gift.

My husband and I also combined two single households so there were few things we "needed." We focused on the few things we needed, but mostly upgrades. We upgraded our flatware and dishes, our pots and pans, our blender, our coffee maker, etc. The things we purchased on college budgets years ago were not very nice in the looks or functionality category. I would also recommend registering for a range of price items. If you want to register for something big, like a Dyson vac, go ahead--you never know if some people all might go in for a big purchase together.

Best of luck for your wedding and marriage.

Thank you.
I asked on the wedding board a while ago about how to go about sending out the registry info and was told quite rudely to put it in the bridal shower info or on our website. That it is wrong to put it in with the invitation or send on it's own. I'm not having a bridal shower and have no intentions or making a website. Even though I am nearly 30 I have very few friends who are married and have only been to a few small weddings. The people who I do know put the registry info with the invite. I just don't want people to think I am begging for gifts when the truth is I appreciate anything people want to do for us but I don't expect it.

 

[skuttle]

I love having a registry to shop from. That way, I know I'm buying something the bride/groom needs and/or wants. Not just something that will collect dust. My only advice would be to make sure you select items in a wide variety of prices so that people have options. Even though I've been married for 11 years now, if someone asked me to do a wedding registry now, I surely could fill it up with things I would want! LOL!

I just read your last reply so I wanted to add that even when I get invites and nothing is mentioned about a registry, I either contact someone to ask or just search online at the typical registry places to see if a registry exists.

 

[happygirl]

How do I do this?
lol
We are getting married in February in the middle of our DCL cruise. We are not having any guests. My future mother-in-law just asked if we had a registry and said people have been asking if we had one.

I have some serious issues asking for things which is part of the reason we are going away to get married. We don't need anything and it feels wrong to ask for things we just want even if it is home stuff. Especially from people we don't even know. So what do I register for? Expensive stuff we want? Cheep stuff we could use? Do I just not bother?
I tried doing a registry a while back and gave up.

We just moved in together after living apart due to us both being in the military. There is very little we don't have. A few small appliances we want is all I can think of. And since we age getting married in the Virgin Islands we weren't planing on invitations. Do I just send out the registry info and look greedy?

Ok this is getting long. Any advice would be appreciated!

Could have people donate money to your favorite charity, since you will don't want anything

 

[sissy_ib]

Could have people donate money to your favorite charity, since you will don't want anything

I would love that, but these are friends of my future DMiL that I don't know, have never meet and wont be at the wedding. We will have zero guests there and have witnesses provided to us. I was hopping I was skipping all this business.

 

[cornflake]

First, you NEVER send out registry info. You quietly verbally pass the info on IF someone asks for it. It doesn't go in print on an invitation, on anything from you ever.

That said, I second the charitable donation registry thing. What's it matter if you don't know the people asking, better for them to get you a gravy boat you'll never use and don't want than buy some kids from Donor's Choose pencils?

At the worst, no one will do anything about it, if that's what your registry consists of and they don't care to make a donation, in which case, no big. At best, some people will make some donations.

If you don't need anything, aren't having guests, aren't comfortable with asking for stuff, especially stuff you don't need, I'd just create a small donation one, give that info to anyone who asks, explaining that you two feel so lucky to be in the position you're in that you just want to share the wealth, as you couldn't ask for more, and if people donate, yay, if they don't, that's fine.

This place allows you to set up a charitable donation registry online. They have a specific list of charities, which you may or may not like - and I'm sure other such places exist to do registries, just came up on a search.

 

[jdb in AZ]

I would love that, but these are friends of my future DMiL that I don't know, have never meet and wont be at the wedding. We will have zero guests there and have witnesses provided to us. I was hopping I was skipping all this business.

The next time someone asks your future DMIL, could she just "suggest" a Target gift card?

Some friends of ours were married last spring (2nd marriage for both) and they sent out a mass e-mail saying (in essence) that they'd been getting lots of questions for gift ideas, so they made a list of suggested gift cards to their favorite restaurants. I thought that was tacky. If they needed something for their home, fine. But entertainment for two people who are already successful enough to get hitched in Hawaii?

 

[happygirl]

I would love that, but these are friends of my future DMiL that I don't know, have never meet and wont be at the wedding. We will have zero guests there and have witnesses provided to us. I was hopping I was skipping all this business.

That to bad, what about stuff for your cruise, maybe they give you a cruise shower.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

I agree with the previous poster. Do not put the registry information on the invitation. The registry information must go out via word-of-mouth. I did put it in my bridal shower invites and on my website, but if you do not have either of those, share the info with your Mother and MIL.

 

[sissy_ib]

First, you NEVER send out registry info. You quietly verbally pass the info on IF someone asks for it. It doesn't go in print on an invitation, on anything from you ever.

Then what are the registry cards from places for? Like I said these have been included in invitations I have received. I have seen them at places like Bed, Bath and Beyond. I give up, I'm way to confused. If people ask what I want I'm telling them nothing. If they insist I'll say money.

 

[sissy_ib]

I agree with the previous poster. Do not put the registry information on the invitation. The registry information must go out via word-of-mouth. I did put it in my bridal shower invites and on my website, but if you do not have either of those, share the info with your Mother and MIL.

That's a nice idea but my mother could not get more useless. And we are in a different state from most people so I cant tell them in person. I'm not having a bridal shower because all my friends are back east and I'm in Texas where I just moved.

 

[Styx Fan]

For sure don't send out registry info. This information is spread by word of mouth only. If someone asks, you tell them. It is very appropriate for friends of your future MIL to ask her. I will also sometimes just poke around on the internet at the typical kinds of dept and home goods stores.

it is common where I live for people to include that info in a shower invite, but it is never included in a wedding invitation. And I hope I never hear of anyone just sending out registry info all by its lonesome, LOL!

Even though you may not feel you really need anything, there are people who will want to buy you a gift, and will find it easier to choose off a registry. Or may look at it to get an idea of your colors and style choices. I agree with the PP who said to consider upgrading some of your things. Or perhaps register for some "nicer" items like china, crystal, nice table linens, serving pieces. I admit to loving having a nice vase and some pretty bowls, even though we never entertain in any kind of lavish way.

 

[chamonix]

If you don't want to do a registry (and it really sounds like you don't)...then don't. It's not required.

When someone asks you if you are registered anywhere, just say, no, we are not. Anyone who really wants to give you a gift will figure something out.

 

[happygirl]

Good Op, I hope you have a wonderful wedding and cruise

here a little tip, Whatever you do don't send out a postcard for a thank you card LOL (just a joke)

 

[The Mystery Machine]

How do I do this?
lol
We are getting married in February in the middle of our DCL cruise. We are not having any guests. My future mother-in-law just asked if we had a registry and said people have been asking if we had one.

I have some serious issues asking for things which is part of the reason we are going away to get married. We don't need anything and it feels wrong to ask for things we just want even if it is home stuff. Especially from people we don't even know. So what do I register for? Expensive stuff we want? Cheep stuff we could use? Do I just not bother?
I tried doing a registry a while back and gave up.

We just moved in together after living apart due to us both being in the military. There is very little we don't have. A few small appliances we want is all I can think of. And since we age getting married in the Virgin Islands we weren't planing on invitations. Do I just send out the registry info and look greedy?

Ok this is getting long. Any advice would be appreciated!

I would not have a registry then. Hopefully people will express there congratulations through cards & cash.

Congrats to you!

 

[Annal606]

For sure don't send out registry info. This information is spread by word of mouth only. If someone asks, you tell them. It is very appropriate for friends of your future MIL to ask her. I will also sometimes just poke around on the internet at the typical kinds of dept and home goods stores.

 

[cornflake]

Then what are the registry cards from places for? Like I said these have been included in invitations I have received. I have seen them at places like Bed, Bath and Beyond. I give up, I'm way to confused. If people ask what I want I'm telling them nothing. If they insist I'll say money.

Tacky people who never read an etiquette book and were raised by wolves? I'm not disputing they exist and are used but I've never seen such a thing in an invitation and I can't imagine the reaction among people I know were it to be. That's super tacky. You do not request gifts - gifts are an unbidden expression from the giver, not to be expected or requested. They're a lovely surprise when received. To send out registry information is to imply you expect people to be shelling out to give you stuff, which is rude.

As above, registry information, as any gift information, is only to be passed verbally when requested from someone in the know. Like someone asking your mother in law is appropriate.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

Its very possible that your MIL's friends have children get married and your MIL bought them gifts now they want to return the favor.

 

[sissy_ib]

Tacky people who never read an etiquette book and were raised by wolves? I'm not disputing they exist and are used but I've never seen such a thing in an invitation and I can't imagine the reaction among people I know anyway. That's super tacky. You do not request gifts - gifts are an unbidden expression from the giver, not to be expected or requested. They're a lovely surprise when received. To send out registry information is to imply you expect people to be shelling out to give you stuff, which is rude.

Really? Uncalled for. I'm not asking for anything. I have no idea what I am supposed to do in this situation. I didn't know I needed to read an etiquette book for an island wedding. I just want to go away and get married and not worry about other people. This is why we are not having a reception. Because I don't want to deal with other peoples expectations. I have not done a registry and had no plans on making one until tonight when my MIL asked. People are asking what I want and I needed advice on what to do or say. I'm not sure if I register for a $50 toaster oven if I will look greedy. I guess if I make a registry I'm tacky and if I don't I'm lazy. I cant win.