Wedding questions-step mother of groom

[KNEIPPK]

My step son is getting married in October- I have a few questions I hope you expects can help with

First off let me say I have never been in a wedding party- and only one ever attended was my own and it was very small like 15 people- so I need help

I do know I do not have to wear a mom dress as his mom is attending and I am fine to taking the back seat- just do not want to look out of place

wedding is at 2 pm and reception starts at 6-bride says they will ride around in limo for an hour or so between ceremony and reception - do people do this?

do I need a long dress or short dress- is print ok or should it be solid color- the colors are like sage and white- will I look funny with a black and white print?

please help

 

[chloelovesdisney]

My step son is getting married in October- I have a few questions I hope you expects can help with

First off let me say I have never been in a wedding party- and only one ever attended was my own and it was very small like 15 people- so I need help

I do know I do not have to wear a mom dress as his mom is attending and I am fine to taking the back seat- just do not want to look out of place

wedding is at 2 pm and reception starts at 6-bride says they will ride around in limo for an hour or so between ceremony and reception - do people do this?

do I need a long dress or short dress- is print ok or should it be solid color- the colors are like sage and white- will I look funny with a black and white print?

please help

I would talk to the bride and find out what her mom and his mom are wearing. You do not want to wear the same exact color as either of them. If both of them are wearing full length dresses, that's what I would wear. Same if both are wearing knee length. If it's one of each you have your pick. Is the bride in your area? It might be nice if you go shopping together, at least for some ideas.

I think a black and white dress sounds very nice, not sure about the print without seeing it.

I'm sure you'll look fabulous and have a great time!

 

[Ohiodislover]

I would only suggest that you be aware of what the mother of the bride and groom are wearing and not compete. compliment, but not compete--KWIM?


and yes the wedding parting often does "tour" and "stage" photo ops. The best weddings I've been to have a bar and entertainment for the guests during this time.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Oh forgot, yes, sometimes the bride and groom or entire wedding party rides around for a while in between the ceremony and reception.

 

[minniecarousel]

Oh forgot, yes, sometimes the bride and groom or entire wedding party rides around for a while in between the ceremony and reception.

This practice really irritates me!

It's fine to take the time to have great photos taken, but just to kill time and make your guests wait? How selfish!

As for the dress: yes, just make sure you check on what the other 2 moms are wearing and take your cue from them.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

If it helps the people I know who have ridden around between the ceremony and reception had to have the ceremony done by a certain time due to church requirements (for their evening services) and couldn't start their reception till a certain time (due to the daytime reception needing to clear out).

No matter what there was going to be a delay in the reception starting. Stinks, but that's what happens sometimes.

 

[KiminChicago]

This practice really irritates me!

It's fine to take the time to have great photos taken, but just to kill time and make your guests wait? How selfish!

Sometimes the bride and groom may not have a choice, depending upon the availability of the church and/or reception location. My sister had a late morning wedding, but the original banquet hall didn't have availability until early evening. She eventually moved the reception so that there wouldn't be such a huge gap between the two, but for some couples, that may not be possible.

 

[Traveliz]

I am a long time step mother of a groom (well it's been a few years) but the two moms and I all wore complementary colors and cleared them with the bride. She was clearly not a bridezilla but she did not want any of us to wear black so you might check on that. The mother of the bride wore a long dress, the mom of the groom wore a flowery print dress and I wore a dressy suit type skirt and jacket.

My worry was the whole dance with the moms as my step son was going to allocate time to dance with both of us. I told him in advance I was fine not doing that so it wasn't awkward at the time and the time would flow better plus I didn't want to annoy his mom. In truth he lived with us his most of the time and his dad had custody (it was full time) but for the wedding I wanted things to go smoothly.

Liz

 

[golfgal]

I would ask the bride what she would like you to wear or ask her to go shopping with you if she has time.

 

[LuvOrlando]

The only thing I cared about was that my MIL NOT wear white... ahh, sweet to the last drop she actually did just that. She wore the lightest beige possible and since my wedding was in November I had off white too. The only thing that made me feel better was how ridiculous she must have looked to everyone who was there, it's just such poor taste. Black isn't good either and red is iffy because it screams "look at me'"

October is fall colors with the potential for summer heat so I would pick a very light summer weight dress with a nice warm jacket as backup. Jewel colors are best this time of year, think eggplant purple, emerald green or deep blue, those sorts of colors.

Usually the hour between the ceremony and the reception is spent taking pictures of the wedding party somewhere, at a photography studio, at a local park. I've never heard of anyone just driving around aimlessly when there are so many pictures to take.

I think being cautious to not upstage anyone is very considerate of you but I tend to think that sort of thing can be easily avoided if you're nice to everyone, ask the mother of the bride and mother of the groom what colors they are wearing and don't wear their colors.

 

[Gigi22]

Sounds as though there will likely be a photo op period between the wedding and reception, since there are 4 hours between them--and only 1 hour riding around. So, potentially a period of about 2 hrs. for photos?
The OP is going to be the secret envy of both the mother of the bride and mother of the groom, as the OP will be able to grab a raincoat or sweater if needed!

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm from the NYC metro area, which gets bashed on every wedding thread, and have never heard of riding around in the limo for an hour! If there is a big gap in between the ceremony and the reception, someone hosts a pre-cocktail hour for close family and friends, plus out of towners. OP, just clear your dress with the bride.

 

[Pakey]

Long time stepmom here too, both of my stepsons have married now. I've actually become very good friends with their mom over the 25 years I've been married to their father; we sat right next to each other at both weddings.

In both weddings, I wore same basic style but different colors, cleared with the bride. The first was a fall wedding and I wore a long dress with a jacket, same as the mother of the bride and mother of the groom. The second was a tropical destination wedding and I wore a short floral dress with jacket, same style as both moms again.

 

[Nennie]

I would wear a gown, as it will look nice in pictures, and you will match your DH who I assume will be in a tux.

My mom wore a "mother gown" to both of my stepbrother's weddings. She, of course, waited to see what colors the MOB and MOG were wearing first. At a step-mom, I'm sure you'll be in the formal pics, and if everyone else is dressed formally, you will look much nicer if you are in a gown as well.

As for the riding around in a Limo part. It's become more common, that the bridal party gets pics done, and rides around during cocktail hour, so that the party can make their "grand entrance" at the reception, after everyone else is already there. I hate long breaks between the ceremony and reception, but understand that sometimes it's just the way it works out with getting the church at one time, and the reception hall at another time.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

I would find a color that compliments what the mother is wearing (like if she wears wears pink, maybe something yellow or purple, etc). Keep the outfit tasteful and comfortable and you should be just fine.

And yes, it's normal for the weeding party to take off for a bit. They have to do pictures, and especially if they want those pics at a different location than where the ceremony was, it's going to take a while to get them all done.

 

[design_mom]

I agree with the others. I think you could go with a MOB/MOG style gown if you wished, but I would let the MOB/MOG choose their gowns first. If you wanted to be a little less formal than MOB/MOG, I think that would be okay, too, but I wouldn't go as casual as a regular guest.

Assuming you will be in the formal photos, I think I would stay away from a print, or at least make it a subtle one. In our wedding, DH's grandmother wore a floral print dress while the wedding party and the rest of the family were in more solid colors. She was a dear lady (now deceased) and I would have wanted her there and in the photos no matter what she'd been wearing -- but the print does "jump out" in all the photos.

 

[Hannathy]

Just went to such a wedding! My nephews. Ended up being 4 sets of parents. Mother of the bride wore a beautiful slate blue with crystals formal gown(I thought it was prettier than the brides but shhhh and it cost $5,000) My sister Mom of the groom wore bright pink formal-bridesmaids wore dark taupe with bright pink roses as flowers, Step Mom of groom wore a darker blue long gown and Step Mom of bride wore a long gown in the bronze dark beige family. Men all had on black Tails.


At the reception for the time while they were taking pictures they served drinks and appetizers outside on the patio area to the main hall, It was a good hour and a half if not more till they arrived. My DD was in the wedding party and she said they spent it all at a park taking pictures and only rode in the limo to get to the reception.

 

[C.Ann]

Are you friendly with all involved parties? If so, I think it would be best to have a little informal meeting over coffee or such so there aren't any potential problems.. I know if I were one of the "other" participants, I would be very appreciative of you wanting to discuss the matter ahead of time so that everyone is on the same page..

Good luck - and congrats to the groom and bride-to-be..

 

[LuvLDM]

When I got married my step-mother was gracious enough to ask me if I had any thoughts on what she should wear. I told her "anything but white".
Some brides have specific expectations regarding attire, personally I didn't but I appreciated being asked.
I would ask the bride

 

[wdwfan16]

I would definitely wear a long dress. You should dress is a MOTG type of dress. When they invite the parents to dance it could go one of two ways. If his mom has remarried then his parents could dance with their new spouses or they could dance together (depends on how they get along and what the son wants). Normally you will sit with your DH and as such should be dressed appropriately.

Without seeing the dress it is hard to say if it is a good one or bad but I would most likely not wear black.