Wedding Planner's Assistant Question

[CDsSleepingBeauty]

Does anyone know how involved your wedding planner's assistant is in planning your wedding? Christina Jacoby is our planner and has been WONDERFUL to work with so far, but her ASSISTANT has been rude and made snide remarks EVERY time I have talked to her. It is taking away some of the excitement of planning our wedding now. We're having our planning session in December and would prefer that she not be there. Can my fiance and I request that our planner's assistant NOT be present at our planning session and ceremony/reception?

 

[DVC Bride 2011]

Christina was my planner's assistant for my wedding in May and I very rarely talked to her. The only communication I ever had with her was if she sent something on behalf of my planner or if she was scheduling something (planning session, phone call, etc). I never cc'd her on emails because my planner was great at getting back to me quickly. I only ever cc'd her when I was sending in something important (credit card form, PS packet, etc). She was not present at our planning session or tasting session and to be honest, I have no idea if she was there on my wedding day.

Since Christina was my planner's assistant such a short time ago, maybe HER assistant is fairly new? Are you communicating mostly via email? It can be easy to misinterpret things that way.

 

[CDsSleepingBeauty]

Aside from one or two emails to Christina, all of our communication has been on the phone, which I prefer. The only reason I've talked to her assistant at all is because Christina has been out or in a meeting the last several times I have called. I won't list her name on here, but I do think Christina's assistant has been there for awhile based on what I've read on the boards. I'll probably request that her assistant not be there just in case, but I feel much better after reading your post. Thanks for your help!

 

[DoomBuggy0922]

I have Christina too, and I love her. She's so great, isn't she?! Her assistant was not at our planning session, the only people I talked to, really, were Christina, the florist, and the very sweet intern at the front desk who brought me three cans of Diet Coke. I actually have no idea who her assistant is; I have never spoken with her! So don't worry. However, if you feel she is mistreating you/being rude--- tell someone!!! You're spending lots of moolah and you don't deserve that.

 

[CDsSleepingBeauty]

I love working with Christina, too! That's the reason we decided not to request another planner. I feel much better knowing that her assistant wasn't at your planning session. Trust me, you don't want to talk to her. I talked to Christina about it about a month or two ago and she said that I could just work directly with her, but every time I have called since then I have had to talk to her assistant because Christina has been out or in a meeting. I must have the WORST timing in the world when making phone calls.

 

[mickin]

Same as other posters. I have never seen our assistant, she wasnt at our PS either. I dont remember if I have ever sent her an email either. But Meri normally gets back to us quickly...when shes in her office...lol

 

[becauseisaid]

You are never required, in ANY situation, to just "take" someone being rude to you. This is especially true in a business situation. There's no need to be rude back, but there is also no reason you shouldn't nip this in the bud immediately. If you have already spoken to the planner about this and the attitude hasn't been fixed, then I would certainly have no trouble making my displeasure known.

The next time the assistant says something rude pause for a long moment and calmly state, "THAT was unprofessional and unacceptable. I expect to be treated in an appropriate and respectful manner while conducting business with your office. If that is going to be a problem, please let me know now so that I can contact upper management about the issue.". At that point just leave it be. If the attitude continues, then you should make a WRITTEN complaint. Being a bride is stressful enough without someone else adding to it.

 

[transfergirl]

You are never required, in ANY situation, to just "take" someone being rude to you. This is especially true in a business situation. There's no need to be rude back, but there is also no reason you shouldn't nip this in the bud immediately. If you have already spoken to the planner about this and the attitude hasn't been fixed, then I would certainly have no trouble making my displeasure known.

The next time the assistant says something rude pause for a long moment and calmly state, "THAT was unprofessional and unacceptable. I expect to be treated in an appropriate and respectful manner while conducting business with your office. If that is going to be a problem, please let me know now so that I can contact upper management about the issue.". At that point just leave it be. If the attitude continues, then you should make a WRITTEN complaint. Being a bride is stressful enough without someone else adding to it.

Well said.

 

[Gareth& Hayley]

Christina was actually our planner's assistant before she became a planner. When I had my PS it was Christina who attended as my planner was in meetings, so it CAN be the assistant who is at your PS so you'd best ask if you really do not want the assistant there to be on the safe side.

 

[CDsSleepingBeauty]

You are never required, in ANY situation, to just "take" someone being rude to you. This is especially true in a business situation. There's no need to be rude back, but there is also no reason you shouldn't nip this in the bud immediately. If you have already spoken to the planner about this and the attitude hasn't been fixed, then I would certainly have no trouble making my displeasure known.

The next time the assistant says something rude pause for a long moment and calmly state, "THAT was unprofessional and unacceptable. I expect to be treated in an appropriate and respectful manner while conducting business with your office. If that is going to be a problem, please let me know now so that I can contact upper management about the issue.". At that point just leave it be. If the attitude continues, then you should make a WRITTEN complaint. Being a bride is stressful enough without someone else adding to it.

Thanks! This is great advice! I have a tendency to let people walk all over me because I like to keep things peaceful and I don't want to upset anyone, but I know I need to say something similar to what you described when it happens from now on.

Christina was actually our planner's assistant before she became a planner. When I had my PS it was Christina who attended as my planner was in meetings, so it CAN be the assistant who is at your PS so you'd best ask if you really do not want the assistant there to be on the safe side.

After reading the other posts, I'm not as worried about it, but I do still plan on requesting that her assistant not be present, just in case. Thanks!

 

[jshora]

I love my planner, Michelle, to death. However, I recognize she is a very busy lady having to deal with many brides. So, most of the time it is her assistant that gets back to me first. At first I was dealing more with Christina than I was with Michelle. She was phenomenal. Now I talk with Sarah, Michelle's new assistant. Sarah has been nothing short of spectacular. Not only is she responsive and polite, but she just has a warm personality. I've called trying to get a hold of Michelle and ended up having a thirty minute conversation with Sarah.

It really saddens me to hear that other brides are not getting the same treatment. Service should be a standard, not roulette game based on who answers the phone.

 

[DVC Bride 2011]

I love my planner, Michelle, to death. However, I recognize she is a very busy lady having to deal with many brides. So, most of the time it is her assistant that gets back to me first. At first I was dealing more with Christina than I was with Michelle. She was phenomenal. Now I talk with Sarah, Michelle's new assistant. Sarah has been nothing short of spectacular. Not only is she responsive and polite, but she just has a warm personality. I've called trying to get a hold of Michelle and ended up having a thirty minute conversation with Sarah.

It really saddens me to hear that other brides are not getting the same treatment. Service should be a standard, not roulette game based on who answers the phone.

That's funny, I had Michelle too and always talked to her directly. Although I primarily used email because it was a lot easier for me since I email all day at work. I wonder if that's why. I thought Michelle was really on top of her game with me - I never waited long for a response, ever. I absolutely loved her to death.

 

[FloridaDreaming]

Christy was my planner's assistant until she was promoted in July. I was a little worried because I just loved her to death. Sarah has been equally as amazing so I am very happy.
Have you mentioned this assistant's behavior to Christy? I know you may not want to stir the pot or anything but, seeing as Christy is new to her position, she may not be aware of what is happening. And you are probably not the only one she's being rude to.

 

[CDsSleepingBeauty]

Christy was my planner's assistant until she was promoted in July. I was a little worried because I just loved her to death. Sarah has been equally as amazing so I am very happy.
Have you mentioned this assistant's behavior to Christy? I know you may not want to stir the pot or anything but, seeing as Christy is new to her position, she may not be aware of what is happening. And you are probably not the only one she's being rude to.

I actually did talk to Christina about it and she told me I could just work directly with her, but every time I have called since then she has been out or in a meeting, so I've had to talk to her assistant. I apparently have the worst timing in the world when it comes to making phone calls.