Wedding Guest Etiquette -Update Post 19

[MaryAnnDVC]

Glad it worked out for you. I had a similar situation years ago for my cousin's wedding. My sister-in-law and I were on the outs. We definitely would have been civil to each other (after the "incident" we always were at least civil). But I called my cousin...she and I are very close and she gets it about family issues...and told her about it. Turns out I wasn't seated with my brother and his wife anyway. If I wasn't as close to my cousin as I was, I don't know what I'd do. Thinking of a different cousin's wedding...someone I'm not as close to...I probably would have just gone with the flow. But like I said, SIL and I would have been civil towards each other.

Families...you can't live with them, you can't live with them.

 

[suzannen]

Well we did get this sorted out and thank you to each of you that took time to respond. I went back and forth many times on whether to say something or just hope for the best. And luckily things kind of just came together.

My mom had actually planned on calling my aunt on something completely different and basically let my aunt do some talking about wedding details and the issues they are having (apparently BTB is somewhat disorganized). My mom just asked who she is sitting with and aunt said she couldnt remember everyone but that my brother & I were definitely at the table However apparently my uncle in the background overheard the conversation and spoke up. Apparently my father had said something already. My aunt then asked my mom if she thought they should put us at different tables! Yippee...problem solved and it didn't necessarily come from me!

I was absolutely totally completely prepared to just deal with it. I had thought about it and if we were seated together I would just live thru it and walk away if any drama happened. Luckily I can relax a little and enjoy the time with the rest of my family.

Oh ya..Suzannen your wedding sounds like this family wedding!! My parents are not married (15 years divorced) and yes they are both invited to this wedding. It is actually my dad's side of the family but my mother is still very much involved. In fact this same family had a wedding for a different son about 7 or 8 years ago and talk about DRAMA! My father and 4 of his brothers all got divorced within a few years of each other but they all had been married more than 20 years. My cousins felt, and still do, that these women had been their aunts for 20 years and the divorces did not change that so every one of them was invited. There was over 400 people at that wedding reception and they did a very good job at keeping all the ex's on seperate ends of the room. It was actually one of the best weddings & receptions I have ever been to (except my own) Good Luck on your planning and keep me posted!

PigletsMommy, so glad it worked out. Thanks for the update and have a wonderful time!

 

[Bob NC]

I would call this same aunt ASAP and simply explain that there are major issues between you now and you do not want to cause any problems or drama

Too late......

 

[focusondisney]

Hi!!
Glad your situation worked itself out, but I just wanted to add another thought for future about switching tables at the reception. My DD was married this summer. We had offered 3 dinner choices to guests. We had to mark place cards with the meal each guest selected. We also had to give the caterer the number of each meal at each table ( how many beef, how many chicken, how many fish). The wait staff then had the correct no. of meals ready to be served for that table. If guests had just changed tables at the last minute, The staff might not have had the correct mix of meals for each table. Might have meant someone not even involved waiting for a meal while the server went back to the kitchen for more meals.

Not trying to stir anything up, just wanted to add another view on this!

 

[HM]

I'm glad it worked out for you!

My poor brother and sil went to a cousin's wedding this summer and got put at table of 50-60 year olds (they are in their 30s)....not one of whom they knew. I'm not sure who thought that was a good idea. (None of us other siblings could make it).

 

[PigletsMommy]

yay! so glad it worked out for you.

Thank you!!

Glad it worked out for you. I had a similar situation years ago for my cousin's wedding. My sister-in-law and I were on the outs. We definitely would have been civil to each other (after the "incident" we always were at least civil). But I called my cousin...she and I are very close and she gets it about family issues...and told her about it. Turns out I wasn't seated with my brother and his wife anyway. If I wasn't as close to my cousin as I was, I don't know what I'd do. Thinking of a different cousin's wedding...someone I'm not as close to...I probably would have just gone with the flow. But like I said, SIL and I would have been civil towards each other.

Families...you can't live with them, you can't live with them.

Ugh...Tell me about it! I'm glad I'm close with this part of my family. It definitely makes things easier

PigletsMommy, so glad it worked out. Thanks for the update and have a wonderful time!

Thank you!!

Too late......

Hi!!
Glad your situation worked itself out, but I just wanted to add another thought for future about switching tables at the reception. My DD was married this summer. We had offered 3 dinner choices to guests. We had to mark place cards with the meal each guest selected. We also had to give the caterer the number of each meal at each table ( how many beef, how many chicken, how many fish). The wait staff then had the correct no. of meals ready to be served for that table. If guests had just changed tables at the last minute, The staff might not have had the correct mix of meals for each table. Might have meant someone not even involved waiting for a meal while the server went back to the kitchen for more meals.

Not trying to stir anything up, just wanted to add another view on this!

I wouldn't switch with anyone who didn't want to or wasnt aware of the situation. Luckily this is a "buffet" style meal and its not an issue.

I'm glad it worked out for you!

My poor brother and sil went to a cousin's wedding this summer and got put at table of 50-60 year olds (they are in their 30s)....not one of whom they knew. I'm not sure who thought that was a good idea. (None of us other siblings could make it).

Wow...Thank makes no sense! I wonder if they had someone do the seating chart who didnt know the dynamics?