$$$ Wedding gift - what dollar amount?

[EMom]

This discussion went on within the past year and it was an eye opener. I had never even heard the phrase "cover your plate" until that thread. It's just not a Southern thing. The Southerners were astonished that anyone would have a clue as to what "the plate" cost and those around NY/NJ assured us that THEY KNEW. They were surprised that we wouldn't know, but we said it was a cultural no-no to even discuss such a thing. It was surely a Mars/Venus thread.

So yes, geography plays a huge role in what you give as a gift. Don't ask a Southerner. The odds are 90% they'll suggest her formal china pattern, crystal or silver.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I've read all the other threads and I am still in shock.


$250 for a co-worker? I gave my boss a week off and a man-shower for his wedding.

All y'all are invited to my "wedding" for my 10-year anniversary.

 

[HelenePA]

We are NOT rich, but I don't think we could give under $200 and feel comfortable.

I would love for $50 to be the norm though

I thought 50$ was still the normal around here?? I just gave my friend that this weekend.. of course she also got a shower present of 100$ I didn't attend the wedding... I know she was paying 30$ a head at a country club. I have no clue what it included dancing at this point is out of the question

 

[GirTheGecko]

I never knew that was the average. My dbf's sister is getting married soon and we bought her and the hubby to be a couple items off of their registry. It's what we could afford. But, she was still thrilled with the gift.

I also discovered I'm a complete idiot when it comes to any wedding etiquette. I'm just glad I have the dbf's mom there to guide me.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

This topic always turns into major flames

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

open bar plus sit down meal around $180 a person at the places my sister is looking at on Long Island.

That is average around here....higher on a Saturday night.

 

[MushyMushy]

And here I am feeling totally generous for planning on giving a cousin $50 for her wedding gift.

But then again people around here have their receptions at the VFW or fire hall, and the food is provided by family. The above-mentioned cousin got married in the most beautiful setting -- along a river bank in a beautifully decorated pavilion in the groom's family's back yard. The reception was held there too.

Catered weddings run $10-15 a plate, and renting the hall is usually around $200-300. It blows me away that people pay the outrageous amounts they do.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Here in Chicago for weddings:

$250-$300 - for casual friends, co-workers
$500 - for family

Shower gifts around $100-$200 - depending on what a bride is registered for - I typically get a place setting of their fine china, or Waterford stemware.

It is what is the norm around here - I do not find it outrageous at all.

 

[Par8hed]

$250 minimum. (from the two of us)

 

[Par8hed]

Catered weddings run $10-15 a plate, and renting the hall is usually around $200-300. It blows me away that people pay the outrageous amounts they do.

Wow! That's great! Where are you located? Around here $10-$15 per head "might" get you a six foot hero and potato salad.

 

[SandraVB79]

You are all invited to my wedding, if I ever have one!


Weddings in the US are so different, it's amazing!!! I have been to a couple of them, but they were all in Texas and ranged from "give your gift and you don't even get a piece of cake" to some catered (fingerfood, but very yummy!) sunset wedding at a B&B.




Over here, people used to register (business card of the store where you registered is supposed to be included with the invitation), but nowadays, many of them ask for cash. I refuse to give cash. I am willing to give them a gift in honor of their wedding, not to pay their groceries for the coming month, so I either order from the rgistry or I bring a gift, usually monogrammed towels (I do the monogramming myself, it's a side business).

 

[aprilgail2]

Wow! That's great! Where are you located? Around here $10-$15 per head "might" get you a six foot hero and potato salad.

We used to have our parties (not weddings but 70th bdays, showers, my daughters 1st birthdays etc) at the Silver Pheasant on Route 109 and I remember that they were the cheapest anyplace- you could get 100 people in the room for 11.95 a head plus 5.95 a head for an open bar. THey moved and don't have the party room like they used to but boy do we miss having that here!

 

[HelenePA]

And here I am feeling totally generous for planning on giving a cousin $50 for her wedding gift.

But then again people around here have their receptions at the VFW or fire hall, and the food is provided by family. The above-mentioned cousin got married in the most beautiful setting -- along a river bank in a beautifully decorated pavilion in the groom's family's back yard. The reception was held there too.

Catered weddings run $10-15 a plate, and renting the hall is usually around $200-300. It blows me away that people pay the outrageous amounts they do.

This is what my friend who is getting married next year is paying at a outdoor wedding place 180$ a head is just unheard of around my neck of the woods.. I dont even know where you'd run into prices like that around me...

 

[MushyMushy]

Wow! That's great! Where are you located? Around here $10-$15 per head "might" get you a six foot hero and potato salad.

Would it even get you that much on Long Island?

 

[java]

Catered weddings run $10-15 a plate, and renting the hall is usually around $200-300. It blows me away that people pay the outrageous amounts they do.

Where do you live? That's crazy cheap and I agree that wouldn't even buy hoagies and a beer around here.

This place is crazy expensive but it comes with a "magic" floor so the couple can come up in the middle up the dance floor! LOL
http://www.russosonthebay.com/social/index.htm
anyone ever been to russo's? Now that's a wedding!

 

[Par8hed]

This is a typical $200ish per head location on Long Island.

http://www.flowerfield.com/index.html

 

[Freyja]

I´m not in the US, but around here I would normally give around $150, if it were my siblings or closets friends it might be $300. We don´t have the "cover your plate" issues here.

 

[DVC Sadie]

This discussion went on within the past year and it was an eye opener. I had never even heard the phrase "cover your plate" until that thread. It's just not a Southern thing. The Southerners were astonished that anyone would have a clue as to what "the plate" cost and those around NY/NJ assured us that THEY KNEW. They were surprised that we wouldn't know, but we said it was a cultural no-no to even discuss such a thing. It was surely a Mars/Venus thread.

So yes, geography plays a huge role in what you give as a gift. Don't ask a Southerner. The odds are 90% they'll suggest her formal china pattern, crystal or silver.

I totally agree with your post!

We just don't discuss money or the costs of anything to others outside of our immediate family. Discussing the costs of anything, be it a car or a wedding is considered vulgar and therefore simply not done.

The only time we ever give cash when attending a wedding is if the wedding is being given by our friends/relatives who are Italian or Chinese, since it is a cultural difference.

 

[Par8hed]

I totally agree with your post!

We just don't discuss money or the costs of anything to others outside of our immediate family. Discussing the costs of anything, be it a car or a wedding is considered vulgar and therefore simply not done.

The only time we ever give cash when attending a wedding is if the wedding is being given by our friends/relatives who are Italian or Chinese, since it is a cultural difference.

We (NY/NJ area) don't discuss the costs. We just know what things cost around here from experience. It's not like someone giving a wedding will tell you that Catering Hall X goes for $175 per head. It's just common knowledge.

 

[DMickey28]

Yikes ... $200-$300???? We do $100 depending on who it is. We live in South Florida but any/all the weddings we have gone to are in the Boston/NE area.