Wedding Gift Question

[unicorngirl]

How much should I give for a wedding of a close relative? My hubby and I usually gift $250, but this time our four children are invited as well. We live in a suburban area with a higher cost of living.

 

[Malibustyle23]

Give what you feel and can afford. This answer always varies especially on the dis boards so you're not going to get any perfect answer.

 

[georgina]

How much should I give for a wedding of a close relative? My hubby and I usually gift $250, but this time our four children are invited as well. We live in a suburban area with a higher cost of living.

Yeah, what malibustyle said. This varies so much by region we really can't help you. There is the old argument about 'cover the plate' idea, which is silly to me because we paid for my DDs wedding reception and the gifts were for her and her DH, not us. Not sure why the children going should make any difference (unless they are adults and can buy their own gifts?) Around here $250 is very generous.

 

[PattySwind]

I'm from NJ. I give $100 per person. If its a really close friend or close family member Ill give a bit more.

 

[shoney]

The only wedding my kids were invited to was my SIL second wedding. We gave her $500 but we would have given that no matter where she had it or if the kids were invited or not.

If you were going to give $250 then go ahead and give that. you don't have to give more just because they invited ur children.

 

[HM]

I agree that your usual gift sounds fine. If you dont' think so, add a bit, maybe $300?

 

[HHMcG]

I would give whatever I planned to give this close relative whether my kids were invited or not. If $250 is your norm then I would assume you would want to give a close relative more. Then I might add a cute gift "from the kids".

 

[CalDisneyMomof2]

This question gets asked often and I scratch my head every time. Maybe it's different here or traditions are different with my family/friends but almost 9 years ago when we got married, not one gift/person did I say, "Only $100?!".

I didn't question one gift - ok, I questioned one: a hamburger presser that we did not register for It wasn't the cost of the gift (maybe worth $15?) but more, what in the world?! It was from one of my husband's co-workers who went solo to the wedding.

Otherwise, we had gifts ranging from $25 up to $1,000 (my brother). I didn't question one of them.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

I had a destination wedding and some guests that made the trek didn't give a gift at all. Honestly, I didn't think anything of it. Everyone has a different financial situation. I felt like people's attendance was gift enough. Anything beyond that was a pleasant surprise.

Give what you feel comfortable giving. Don't feel obligated to give a set amount per person.

 

[unicorngirl]

Thank you, everyone!

 

[ellie05]

I think whatever you want to give is fine. We don't have a set amount it depends on each wedding. If we can't go we send a $50 GC. If we go depending on how much we have to spend to get there we decide on the gift. We are going to a wedding at the end of the month (I made a post here about it) I decided we are not giving any gift since it is costing us over $1500 for the weekend .

 

[aprilgail]

I would go with your husband and leave the four kids home- I know it varies place to place but no way do I want to pay what I would have to give for 6 people to attend a wedding around here!

 

[DisneyHardin]

I wish I had invited you all to my wedding!!! $100 was the most any one person gave us and that was from my Grandma.

 

[crisi]

I didn't question one gift - ok, I questioned one: a hamburger presser that we did not register for It wasn't the cost of the gift (maybe worth $15?) but more, what in the world?! It was from one of my husband's co-workers who went solo to the wedding.

Sometimes those gifts are the best. We got a set of nerf guns with a note that said "no marriage is perfect, so this is for when you need to fight." We got a few bottles of wine - some of them nice, some of them not so nice. A beautiful Baccarat crystal vase that I love - but have you ever priced Baccarat crystal? - I keep it where kids nor cats can knock it over, but where I can see it - maybe someday it will get displayed. We have friends who are artists - surprise - I got art - some of which I love, some of which is tucked into corners or put away. Some of which I have to live with (cough...my father in law's piece - my father in law made it for us for our wedding, and I'll be looking at it for as long as I live - unless my husband dies first, in which case I can burn it).

And I got a bacon press - like this: https://www.amazon.com/Cast-Steak-Weight-Bacon-Press/dp/B0013HWFUW I'd never had a bacon press, never knew I wanted a bacon press. LOVE my bacon press.

My aunts all chipped in and got me a kitchenaid mixer. Love it.

And people gave me money - but around here and back then (I've been married 21 years), getting $100 in an envelope was a big deal. Even when you dinner was $50 a plate.

 

[Sagginit]

Children under a certain age may cost less depending on the venue, so if you go with $100 a person normally then maybe add $200 for four kids? This really depends on your area and how close you are. The couple might not expect to get the cost per plate with some of the larger families. I normally do $100-$150 a person in NJ but am young, no kids involved.

I got married last year and it varied a lot. We got everything from $40 in a piece of paper from a couple, up to checks of over $500 from close relatives. I also might check around to see if your other relatives are bringing their kids or getting a sitter. If it seems like a trend that others aren't bringing the children you could instead just get a sitter with what you would have put towards a larger gift and enjoy the night out.