wedding gift if your not invited

[ez]

I know my good friend's son is getting married they are having a beach wedding a few hours from here, which we were not invited to, and then a lavish honeymoon, according to the mom. Are you expected to send a wedding gift to a family friends child even if you arent invited to the wedding and if so what would be appropriate, thanks!!! I have seen her son only rarely over the past several years and have never met the woman he is marrying.

 

[Tinkerkell007]

I don't know that you would be expected to give a gift since you aren't invited. If you want to give a gift, then give a gift. Maybe a gift card to Bed bath and beyond or lowes or something along those lines.

 

[Disneyland1084]

I know my good friend's son is getting married they are having a beach wedding a few hours from here, which we were not invited to, and then a lavish honeymoon, according to the mom. Are you expected to send a wedding gift to a family friends child even if you arent invited to the wedding and if so what would be appropriate, thanks!!! I have seen her son only rarely over the past several years and have never met the woman he is marrying.

I wouldn't send a gift, but it's up to you. If you want to, find out where they're registered. That way you'll know what they need.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I know my good friend's son is getting married they are having a beach wedding a few hours from here, which we were not invited to, and then a lavish honeymoon, according to the mom. Are you expected to send a wedding gift to a family friends child even if you arent invited to the wedding and if so what would be appropriate, thanks!!! I have seen her son only rarely over the past several years and have never met the woman he is marrying.

Like PP, I wouldn't.

 

[ez]

Thanks, I have to say I was kinda hoping I wouldn't have to send a gift but just wanted to check that one wouldn't be expected in this case.

 

[Polyluvr]

I wouldn't send a gift either~ not invited= no gift

JMHO

 

[monkeyboy]

No invite = no open bar
no open bar = no brides maids
no brides maids = no


you get the idea

 

[Scrappy_Tink]

I wouldn't give them a gift, but not because you're not invited, but because you haven't seen him for several years and haven't stayed in touch. I doubt he'd even expect one.

A lot of people have small, intimate weddings (me and DH were married in the Gazebo at Shades of Green, the military resort across from the Poly at WDW). It was just me, my DH, and our two sons.

Close friends gave us gifts, though we didn't expect anything. They understood they weren't invited simply because it was an intimate family thing for us. They just gave us gifts because they were happy for our new beginning.

 

[disykat]

I wouldn't do a gift for the wedding, but if she's a really good friend it might be nice to do something for HER. Maybe there's a nice Mother of the Groom type book or something you can give her to commemorate the occasion, or something "relaxation themed" like tea or some special bath soap? I'm not much of a gift person, but something this important might be worth acknowledging with a little token.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I know my good friend's son is getting married they are having a beach wedding a few hours from here, which we were not invited to, and then a lavish honeymoon, according to the mom. Are you expected to send a wedding gift to a family friends child even if you arent invited to the wedding and if so what would be appropriate, thanks!!! I have seen her son only rarely over the past several years and have never met the woman he is marrying.

You are under no obligation to send a gift.

 

[scrapquitler]

I know my good friend's son is getting married they are having a beach wedding a few hours from here, which we were not invited to, and then a lavish honeymoon, according to the mom. Are you expected to send a wedding gift to a family friends child even if you arent invited to the wedding and if so what would be appropriate, thanks!!! I have seen her son only rarely over the past several years and have never met the woman he is marrying.

No, not required, nor expected. If you are inclined, it would be nice to send a card wishing them well. It's a nice gesture and your friend would probably appreciate that. I'd feel no desire to send a gift for someone I'd rarely seen in years.

 

[scrapquitler]

I wouldn't do a gift for the wedding, but if she's a really good friend it might be nice to do something for HER. Maybe there's a nice Mother of the Groom type book or something you can give her to commemorate the occasion, or something "relaxation themed" like tea or some special bath soap? I'm not much of a gift person, but something this important might be worth acknowledging with a little token.

I think that this is a lovely idea.

 

[ronandannette]

...They understood they weren't invited simply because it was an intimate family thing for us. They just gave us gifts because they were happy for our new beginning.

You are under no obligation to send a gift.

Gifts are NOT an obligation; they are a gesture of affection and esteem for the occasion.

 

[happygirl]

I would send a card at the very least

 

[Hrhpd]

I know my good friend's son is getting married they are having a beach wedding a few hours from here, which we were not invited to, and then a lavish honeymoon, according to the mom. Are you expected to send a wedding gift to a family friends child even if you arent invited to the wedding and if so what would be appropriate, thanks!!! I have seen her son only rarely over the past several years and have never met the woman he is marrying.

Absolutely no expectation of a gift. And if the couple is expecting gifts, they are the ones being rude.

People make choices in life. If you choose to have a small wedding, you are also choosing to forgo lots of gifts. You can't have your wedding cake and eat it too. Although, in actuality there should never be an expectation of a gift from the invited or not the invited, big wedding or small. Gifts should be appreciated, but never expected. They are gifts after all.

Now if a person is feeling generous and wants to send a gift to a well loved person, then that is their choice.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

It's not expected or required. I have some close friends from growing up that even though my mom hadn't seen them in a long time, still sent something for their wedding or new baby (nothing expensive, a frame, onesie, etc.), and a card. She just wanted to acknowledge their happy time, but it wasn't at all necessary.

 

[Pigeon]

It wouldn't cross my mind to send a gift.

 

[2girls4me]

I've never sent a gift if I wasn't invited.

Maybe a card wishing them well, but not a gift.

 

[disykat]

To me, the whole gift thing is not about whether I'm invited, it's about whether I know the couple.

If I knew the couple and wanted to celebrate with them, I'd probably still send a gift. I've given gifts to quite a few weddings I wasn't invited to, elopements, etc. However, OP described someone she basically doesn't know. Any gift would really be about acknowledging her relationship with the mom. That's why I think the acknowledgement should be to HER, not the bride and groom.

 

[Robbi]

It isn't required but if his mom is your good friend, I would send a gift, in fact, I have been in this situation and have sent a gift.