Wedding Gift for Nephew? How much?

[funhouse8]

We are going to a wedding this weekend. The wedding is in a winery upstate that I hear is very nice. My Nephew mentioned he paid $145.00 per plate. Their are six of us but oldest is in the bridal party and bringing a date so he will be giving his own gift. So I will give the card from the five of us. My youngest is 15 so I'm guessing we are all the same price. Do I give $750.00?
This seems like so much money and it won't even cover a gift just our dinners. So my question to you is......How much should we give? I don't want to look cheap but this is alot of money. Thanks for your replies in advance. Gina

 

[antmaril]

$750 is a generous gift. I'm sure he would appreciate it. When my nephew got married a few years ago in Las Vegas, we (three of us) traveled to the wedding and we gave him $500.

I think $750 is about right.

I'm editing this to add that you should only give what you can afford. I agree that you do not have to cover the cost of each plate. If $750 is too much, give an amount you are comfortable with.

 

[GoodFairies]

I've never heard of giving a gift to cover your dinners...whether the bride and groom can actually afford to pay for their wedding is no concern of yours. A wedding is not about making money. I'd give what you feel comfortable giving (meaning you, your husband, and your minor children) and anyone who is an adult is may buy or make their own gift as their personal finances dictate. If you want to include said grown children, still just give what you are comfortable with. I personally think $750 is way too much to give to a nephew, especially if you still have your own older children to take care of.

 

[disneymom3]

This idea of giving enough to at least cover the per plate charge is totally ridiculous in my opinion. THEY are throwing a party and THEY are the ones who decided to spend so much money. No way would I give that much money. Buy them a place setting of china and be done with it. When you invite people to an event you take on the responsibility of financing the event. I am sooo glad that is not the "custom" here!

 

[disneymom3]

$750 is a generous gift. I'm sure he would appreciate it. When my nephew got married a few years ago in Las Vegas, we (three of us) traveled to the wedding and we gave him $500.

I think $750 is about right.

Heavens. My own parents only (hah, only) gave me $500 for my wedding. I think $750 is nuts. That is more than half of my monthly mortgage payment!

 

[ndelaware]

I think $750 is way too much for a nephew unless you are really close. It was his choice to have the reception at such an expensive place. It is not your responsibility to reimburse him for dinner. If he chose to have his reception at a fire hall @ $30/ plate would you give him $150?

Give what you are comfortable giving, it is a gift after all.

 

[scrump]

I still don't get why people feel they need to cover the cost of the plate, but to each their own. I haven't encountered that yet is our social circle, but I suppose if and when we do, we'll just stay home.


$750 is very generous, if that's what you feel comfortable giving.

 

[EthansMom]

Just because the wedding couple is having their wedding at an expensive venue AND your nephew is tactless enough to tell you how much it costs, does not mean that you should feel obligated to finance the overspending.

I would give an amount that I could afford to give. In my case, I would try to give each of my neices and nephews the same amount as they marry.

 

[Cthia]

I would give what you can afford.

My MIL has gotten me thinking you are suppose to give enough to cover your plate for dinner. Well that is fine except when they chose to go to these $145 a plate venue than that becomes too much. That is a lot of money for families to give.

We just gave my BIL $200 thinking that would cover the meals. Just heard from my MIL (via DH) that dinner cost $125 a plate. The meal definitely wasn't worth that in my opinion. I don't feel bad not giving them enough to cover the plate. They choose to have their reception at this place and if they wanted to spend that much that was their choice. Of course I don't know if I really believe that it cost that much. What happened to the $50 plate dinner?

So for now on I am giving $100 nonfamily members and $200 family members.

 

[lindakmonty]

I have to agree that you should give what you are comfortable with. It sounds like he happened to mention how much it was per plate as a hint, but I could be wrong. The last wedding we went to we basically gave them what it cost them for us to be there...but it was just the two of us and it was a guy that works for DH. I think it was my sister that told me about a couple had a wedding on DEC 24th!! Christmas EVE... spent like 10k or 20k and about 30 people showed up? It's their party, and their bill...

 

[NJDad18]

I work for Lenox so I suggest to any relatives that are getting married to register for everything Lenox and I'll make it worth their while with my discount.

You give what you can afford. To me $250 would be reasonable.

 

[DMickey28]

That whole paying for yourself is just silly... When I got married, I was on a cruise and my best friend and husband came on the cruise and she was my maid of honor. She gave us $100. When she was married, she had a church wedding and reception at a golf club, whole thing cost about 10K total I think. I gave her $100... she was married first by the way.

I am not going to go into debt to give a gift that someone feels they should get. I would personally rather not go, not cost them the money and give them what I can afford.

 

[Skatermom23]

Wow, and I thought I was being generous giving BIL $200 for his wedding. Course we didn't attend due to work schedules and such but still...$750????
That is just too much.

 

[Ub_Iwerks]

First of all, I don't give cash for weddings. I buy something off the registry. Your nephew and, more likely, his new in-laws were the ones who decided how much each plate was going to cost. Why should you be obligated to give a gift that covers the amount for your entire family? I've been to weddings where they just had a cake and punch reception in the church basement. There's no way I would have only given a $5 gift to cover the cost of that.

Give what you can afford. If someone is going to judge you based on the gift you gave them, they don't deserve your gratitude.

 

[lbgraves]

We are going to a wedding this weekend. The wedding is in a winery upstate that I hear is very nice. My Nephew mentioned he paid $145.00 per plate. Their are six of us but oldest is in the bridal party and bringing a date so he will be giving his own gift. So I will give the card from the five of us. My youngest is 15 so I'm guessing we are all the same price. Do I give $750.00?
This seems like so much money and it won't even cover a gift just our dinners. So my question to you is......How much should we give? I don't want to look cheap but this is alot of money. Thanks for your replies in advance. Gina

Without reading any responses I have to say that is rediculous!!!! A wedding gift is not payment for the cost of you to attend the wedding & reception. If the couple cannot afford such an extravegant party, they shouldn't have planned it. I think that $100 is a very generous gift to give anyone for their wedding present. Less than that is acceptable as well. It depends on how close you are to the person I suppose.

 

[icebrat001]

While covering the cost of your plate is becoming the norm, I would give $200 and something off the registry.

But, since 5 of you are going (plus 1 in the wedding party). I would probably do something like $500.

 

[LBAK]

I think $500 since it's your nephew and the whole family is going.

 

[swankybeth]

I think $500 since it's your nephew and the whole family is going.

I agree...it must be a Rockville Centre thing...

 

[tiggerlover]

This idea of giving enough to at least cover the per plate charge is totally ridiculous in my opinion. THEY are throwing a party and THEY are the ones who decided to spend so much money. No way would I give that much money.

I totally agree with the above! In my opinion, I would give what I could afford. For a nephew, I would think $200 is sufficient.

 

[Pink_1022]

This is my first post. However, as I am getting married in July I figured I would chime in. My fiance and myself registered at Dilliards (a high end department store in Ohio). As we went through and selected the items of the registery, I was informed that the average wedding gift to any wedding is roughly a hundred dollars(this came from the registry lady who handles lots of weddings). I would never expect a 750 dollar gift from anyone. To me that is insane.

Also, while doing research.. Anyone over 16 is suppost to get their own invitation according to "proper wedding etiquette" Thus, if the invitation is addressed to the entire family including older children; One gift is to be expected roughly around $100. However, if the bride and groom addressed numerous invitations to you and your family; It would then be a $100 dollars per invitation, according to proper wedding etiquette.

Thus.. The most you should send... is $300.00 as your fifteen your old is not required to send a gift, as your gift would indeed cover him/her. This would be ideal if each child was 16 or older with there own invitation.

Now, if only one invitation is sent to the entire family including children over sixteen, then a $100 gift is the norm according to etiquette.

Thus, anywhere from $100-$300 would be the "proper wedding etiquette amount.

I hope that helps!!!..