Wedding disaster

[LuLuO]

It was all verbal and when we went up there to sign a contract, it was all different.

Man that really stinks. If I were the Bride I would have given those people at the resort a few choice words and walked out and found a new place. But, like you said, your hands are tied. The kids want what they want and really there is nothing wrong with that, they're just going to have to pay for it and cut back where they can. I'm sure it will still be lovely. It's great that her father gave her the money to pay for it and that they won't be going into debt to have their dream wedding.

 

[smileycrissy]

Did you sign the contract already? If you haven't then there is no harm in having a third party (be it the person who offered on here or someone else) to call and see if they can negotiate pricing further. I'd let them know that the FOB has called his side and is informing guests that the hotel is too pricey. Try to play up the fact that they will be losing some business as a result of this increased pricing. It really doesn't hurt to give this a try, I know it's frustrating to deal with it but at least then you know you tried every angle to get the pricing you were quoted.

Good Luck.

As for $130 a person, unfortunately I think its becoming a new average of $100+ per person for weddings nowadays. My fiancee and I have really been debating the city hall route because it's just us paying for our wedding (our families will not be able to provide contributions) and I can't afford to spend that much.

 

[ShellyShellfish]

The wedding is on Mackinac Island and the only other place that can come close to having the ambience this resort offers is way out of budget. This is what is making it so tough to walk away. This is the brides dream wedding we are talking about. I am still working on the negotiations with them. It has gotten really ugly over the last few days. I do think I have been a little too nice. It would be easier if I could find somewhere else on the island that was less expensive but I am struggling to find something comparable. Is it in poor taste to have a cash bar? Father of the bride is having at fit about the room rates. He actually started calling relatives and told them that it is going to be to expensive to go.

In regards to the cash bar - another option might be to have a host bar? That's what we did for our wedding reception...basically we pay for whatever drinks were consumed. We knew we had a lot of non-drinkers coming to our wedding, so it was stupid to pay for an open bar that wouldn't be utilized. It might cost a bit more per drink if you break it down, but if you're having a lot of people who might not be interested in drinking, it might be the way to go. Satisfy both sides of the coin.

Sorry you're dealing with this, that's totally crappy of them to treat you like that.

 

[angwill]

The wedding is on Mackinac Island and the only other place that can come close to having the ambience this resort offers is way out of budget. This is what is making it so tough to walk away. This is the brides dream wedding we are talking about. I am still working on the negotiations with them. It has gotten really ugly over the last few days. I do think I have been a little too nice. It would be easier if I could find somewhere else on the island that was less expensive but I am struggling to find something comparable. Is it in poor taste to have a cash bar? Father of the bride is having at fit about the room rates. He actually started calling relatives and told them that it is going to be to expensive to go.

How about finding a nearby hotel and negotiating prices there as an alternative to the guests maybe even on the mainland if they can get the boat back when it is over? This way if they don't want to pay the $189 they have a couple of options.

There is absolutly nothing wrong with a cash bar. This is your son and his fiances wedding and if they want/need a cash bar I would not be insulted at all. If anyone wants to drink there is nothing wrong with paying for drinks. It sounds like their main wish is that the wedding be at that hotel so that is the most important thing to be able to pay for. I wonder also if you might be able to do the open bar only an hour or two for less money? Good luck.

 

[disfan07]

Unfortunately, until you sign the contract, the prices are not set in stone and they have the right to change them.

I wouldnt do a cash bar. Personally, I think it is tacky. If you cant affrod it, dont do a bar.

So, are you going to be paying more or are the guests going to be paying more? If it's the guests, why cant they stay somewhere else if they dont like the prices? $189 is not bad. We are paying $215 for a discount rate for my cousins bat mitzvah. For my Bat Mitzvah 8 years ago, the dicounted rooms were $175-$200/night

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

My nephew just got married in Pittsburgh and his was $149 per person and that did not include the bar.


.

Holy crap! Where was he married in Pittsburgh that costs $149.00 a person? Never heard of anyplace around here even close to that amount.

 

[Evi]

I'm not sure if anyone has posted this but if management isn't willing to help and you had this all priced out and then they changed it I would write a very long and specific letter to the owner explaining the situation. I would also include how long you have been a member or regular guest to this resort and how often you have invited or recommended it to other guests. I'm sure the owner will be more reasonable then a manager.

 

[momof2gr8kids]

I don't think you should have a cash bar. If people are travelling and having to pay for rooms, I think it would be tacky to expect them to pay for their drinks. At least have beer and wine.

A couple of years ago a family member had a wedding out of town & there was a cash bar at the wedding. My MIL & FIL rented an extra room and brought in their own alcohol and had a "host room" (there's a word for it, can't think of it right now!!!! LOL) with some appetizers for before the wedding. Could that be an option?

Can you wait until you have an estimate of the number of people attending, before you narrow down your choices?

As pp have suggested, let the resort know that you will be having less guests at the higher price. Perhaps they will agree to the $139 price if you have a set amount of bookings.

Is the time you are booking a busy time for them - will they be booked up anyways, with or without your business?

I'm sorry your wonderful memories of this resort are being soured by this experience. I drove over the bridge one time - that's the closest I've gotten to there. LOL. It seemed like a beautiful area. We are hoping to head that way next summer. DH was drooling over some golf courses in that area.

 

[maxiesmom]

How late are the ferry boats running? Would it be possible to have a main land alternative for lodging, if guests are worried about the cost of a room on the island?

I would also probably go with either a cash bar or no alcohol. There are a few bars on the island, if someone really wants a drink, they can hit one later.

I would be upset too, but now you have to find a way to make lemonade out of lemons, and enjoy the wedding. Good Luck!

 

[Purseval]

This is my child's wedding. They know what the budget is and they have no problem sticking to their budget. She is definatley NOT a bridezilla, she is very sweet about the whole thing. I have no problem with them having it there or having it the way they want it. My problem was how the resort handled the whole thing.

Welcome to reality. Although it may be the resort's fault that's still the way it is. Your child knows you can't afford it the way they want it but want it anyway. If that's the case you pay what you originally budgeted and let them make up the difference.

 

[madcat]

With our wedding we provided all of the beer/wine, the place that we had the reception provided us with a bartender and if anyone one wanted a mixed drink or shot they had to pay for it.

My cousin was married on a cruise ship, she did it while it was in port that way people that were not going on the cruise could attend the ceramony. The cruise line provided a cake and champagne for a toast (as well as a private room) She could only bring a limited number of people on the ship and they were allowed to stay for pictures after that they had to leave the ship.

Good luck!

 

[Duckiedee]

I agree I would take it to the highest level - past this manager. That's the first thing I would do. There is always the local press as well.

Sure, you don't have a written contract - but I'm sure they don't want people to know about what their word is apparently worth.

"I'm so upset right now, and you don't seem to be doing anything... since you are 'technically correct' and I don't have it in writing I don't think it is worth taking it to the BBB. I would have thought our long-standing relationship and the clients I've sent to you over the years would be worth something." "If the only option I have left is taking it to the press, I will."

Since it is the location vs the amount of people there and it is more important to the B&G to have the location, I would just go with that. Cut your numbers and have your bar or limited bar. It's hard to go forward with a light heart if you can't fix this, to be treated so disdainfully, but if these are your options and they are determined to stay, then work within the budget and go for it. Then sigh, and enjoy the rest of the planning and wedding.

Although I do agree it would be kinda tacky to have a cash bar once people were travelling, I would let the B&G make that call, if they want a cash bar, go for it. REALLY WHO CARES???? Just let the guests know beforehand.

Myself, I am not offended by a cash bar, even if I travel, I am there because I LOVE the couple and want to share in their happiness. Not because I'm getting anything free... I would send a gift whether there or not and enjoy the trip were I to go. I don't need to feel paid or entertained to want to go.

And I do hope alcohal is available for purchase somewhere on site if you don't have a cash bar in the room... I still like my glass of wine.

I would definitely have wine on the table at the very least.

Good luck, keep trying with the resort and in the end just follow the couple's wishes within the budget... they might be willing to pitch in. I paid for pretty much my entire wedding. My parents chipped in, but mostly it was DH and myself. I didn't mind. In fact anything they wanted to help with was enough.

 

[Hannathy]

Holy crap! Where was he married in Pittsburgh that costs $149.00 a person? Never heard of anyplace around here even close to that amount.

The reception was at The Pennsylvanian. The actual service was at St Paul's Cathedral. The reception was beautiful and the food very good but as I said it was quite expensive. They also looked at somewhere else that was almost as much but the date that place had wasn't available at the Cathedral and that was more important to the bride.

 

[Darcy03231]

I alreeady did this and found a B&B nearby that has less expensive rooms. Mackinac City will not work because the people would have to leave the reception early to catch a ferry to the main land.

I would price out several options for lodging on the island and off the island and would let the guests know what time last ferry runs. Some guests might decide on a less expensive mainland option and leave the reception early. It may be the only way they can afford to attend and I would give them that option. I know that if my niece were having a destination wedding 5 hours away and in order to go I would have to leave the reception early, I would do that rather than miss the event all together.

 

[Pigeon]

I wouldnt do a cash bar. Personally, I think it is tacky. If you cant affrod it, dont do a bar.

I agree with this. I don't think there's anything wrong with just having wine and beer though. But after you've asked guests to spend a fortune going to the destination wedding, it's particularly tacky to have a cash bar.

If it were my daughter and she insisted on having the wedding someplace this expensive, I'd tell her how much we would contribute and then step out of the whole thing and let it be her problem.

 

[mskayjay]

OP I am so sorry your family is having to deal with this. How deceitful of the banquet manager. I have to wonder how many others have had this "stunt" pulled on them as well.

A few thoughts.....

Can the time of the ceremony and reception be adjusted so folks can catch that last ferry? This might help some but I don't think the cost of the rooms is the biggest issue....its the cost of the reception, correct?

Our friends' daughter does the events at The Grand Hotel on Mackinac and in looking at their prices compared to what you are being offered, your deal looks to be very good. Small comfort I know.

I pulled up Mission Points pricing on line and it looks like there should be a lot more included than what you listed or I missed the details in your posts. It references a number of extras before the wedding, during, and after including a one hour bar and a champagne toast. Are they including that still in your price? If so, then the price really does not seem high at all for the area. In looking at that online pricing guide it is kind of confusing as it says the bar is included for one hour in one place and in another quotes it at $18/per so I would really make a copy of that online listing and say "look! it says it is included". Cost after that at $8/hour is super cheap and their prices for "consumption" are also low for a resort out on the island.

As regulars of this establishment, I totally concur with the suggestion to contact the owners and let them know what has happened. They may do nothing or they may do something. Either way, either the woman listed as the event planner needs a talking to or the manager needs a talking to. This is still going to end up being a hurtful experience for the kids and that more than anything is what bothers me. I would so not to want to look back on my wedding day and always think about what I was promised and how I got burned. And I hear what you say about this being her dream to get married there, but I would "gently" ask if the location is more important versus who they will be able to have attend. Awful but true.

My best wishes to them and you as you go through this. Weddings are stressful enough without having issues like this.

 

[sunnyday123]

While I do think that it bad business that the woman at the venue quoted you one price and then the boss won't honor it, it sounds like the Bride and Groom don't really care. If the venue won't budge on the price and if the Bride and Groom don't feel the need to compromise, by looking for another venue or by having the reception at a different location, and if the Bride's father has given her the money to pay for the wedding, what is the issue? Is it just that guests will have to fork over another $50 to stay at the location? If that is the case, then offer a lesser expensive alternative for the guests.

Also, I agree that a cash bar is tacky. Either do as PP have suggested and have beer and wine, or make it a non-alcoholic event.

I agree. It's called "compromise" and if they plan on being married for any length of time, they're going to have to start making them. And realizing sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. If you can't afford it, it's time to make other arrangements.

 

[dvcgirl]

Well, it totally stinks that the offer that you were promised is being pulled out from under you. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like you have any tangible proof of the deal, and since the bride is dead set on this location you can't use the "we'll take out business elsewhere" strategy.....

Maybe you can ask them to meet you in the middle....

One thing though, I don't care where you live, a cash bar is tacky. And it's especially tacky when your guests are going to have to shell out an additional $189 a night to stay at the resort.

 

[maxiesmom]

I agree I would take it to the highest level - past this manager. That's the first thing I would do. There is always the local press as well.

Sure, you don't have a written contract - but I'm sure they don't want people to know about what their word is apparently worth.

"I'm so upset right now, and you don't seem to be doing anything... since you are 'technically correct' and I don't have it in writing I don't think it is worth taking it to the BBB. I would have thought our long-standing relationship and the clients I've sent to you over the years would be worth something." "If the only option I have left is taking it to the press, I will."

I don't think taking it to the press is much of a threat in this case, as Mackinaw City is a small town. It thrives in the summer on tourist money, but all but shuts down in the winter.

 

[Planogirl]

If the bride and groom want it there so badly, let them have it there. However, they will have to understand that you will have to scale back on some of it. Just invite fewer people and have beer and wine. Maybe there is a local hotel you can negotiate with that won't be as expensive for overnight guests?