Wedding cancelled, who pays for bridesmaid dress?

[luvdzny]

DD was asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding in June. A few days ago she received a group text from the bride saying that the wedding is cancelled but the bridesmaid dresses need to be paid for and picked up at the bridal shop. The dress was $165.00 and DD still owes $65.00. The dress is not something she will wear plus she was pregnant when it was ordered and they made her order a much bigger size so the dress will need altering if she ever would wear it. I know being in a wedding is expensive, and that when you agree to participate you are agreeing to the cost. Now that the wedding is cancelled is it fair that the bridesmaids have to pay for a dress that they will not be wearing? She does feel bad for the bride but $165.00 is a lot to pay for a dress that she does not want, does not fit and she probably will never wear.
What do y'all think?

 

[sonnyjane]

DD was asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding in June. A few days ago she received a group text from the bride saying that the wedding is cancelled but the bridesmaid dresses need to be paid for and picked up at the bridal shop. The dress was $165.00 and DD still owes $65.00. The dress is not something she will wear plus she was pregnant when it was ordered and they made her order a much bigger size so the dress will need altering if she ever would wear it. I know being in a wedding is expensive, and that when you agree to participate you are agreeing to the cost. Now that the wedding is cancelled is it fair that the bridesmaids have to pay for a dress that they will not be wearing? She does feel bad for the bride but $165.00 is a lot to pay for a dress that she does not want, does not fit and she probably will never wear.
What do y'all think?

Super tough situation. In theory, if you're in someone's wedding, you're close enough friends that the $165 dress doesn't quite matter and you suck it up, even though it's crummy and expensive, and you just support your friend. No doubt cancelling a wedding is devastating, so I wouldn't exactly feel comfortable approaching the bride about the cost of the dress. If the bride had offered to pay for it I wouldn't feel badly with having her absorb the cost but since she isn't I'm not sure what other measures there are to be taken unless your DD doesn't care about maintaining the friendship.

 

[bethy]

I can see why this gives you pause. But IMO your daughter bought the dress. Whether she's wearing it or not isn't really relevant.

It's totally just one of those unfortunate situations that can't really be helped.

 

[alktdknckmom]

DD was asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding in June. A few days ago she received a group text from the bride saying that the wedding is cancelled but the bridesmaid dresses need to be paid for and picked up at the bridal shop. The dress was $165.00 and DD still owes $65.00. The dress is not something she will wear plus she was pregnant when it was ordered and they made her order a much bigger size so the dress will need altering if she ever would wear it. I know being in a wedding is expensive, and that when you agree to participate you are agreeing to the cost. Now that the wedding is cancelled is it fair that the bridesmaids have to pay for a dress that they will not be wearing? She does feel bad for the bride but $165.00 is a lot to pay for a dress that she does not want, does not fit and she probably will never wear. What do y'all think?

I was in this very situation about 5 years ago. It was a horrible situation for the bride to go through, but I think she handled it well.

My dress was about $200 and I had paid $100. When the bride decided to call off the wedding, she told us she had made arrangements with the dress company to pay the balances and pick them up. She asked us if we wanted the dresses, explaining, if we wanted it we could buy it, but if we didn't her mom offered to sell them at a resale shop to try and recoup the cost. I did not need the dress because, like your daughter, I was pregnant. So, I decided to swallow the $100 I paid and told the bride to go ahead and sell it, not expecting a refund and just being glad that I wouldn't have to pay the balance of $100.

It turned out that the dress company was actually willing to work with her when she went in to pay off the dresses and pick them up, They agreed to buy back the dresses at 80% of the original cost. I ended up getting $80 of my $100 down payment back!

Good luck to your daughter!!

 

[cbg1027]

The whole situation in unfortunate, but I do think your DD should still have to pay for her dress. She already agreed to pay for it. I see where you're coming from but I think it's unreasonable to expect the bride to absorb the cost. She probably had non-refundable deposits made on many other things.

Part of being a good friend is sucking it up sometimes and I think that's what DD needs to do in this situation.

There are sites she could probably sell the dress for at least half of what she paid. Tell her to try weddingbee.com and tradesy.com.

 

[NMAmy]

I guess I look at it this way--if this is a good friend (and I'd assume it was if your dd is in her wedding) and she's had to go through the pain of cancelling a wedding, I wouldn't add to her pain by asking her to pay for the dress. Friendship is always more important to me than money.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I guess I look at it this way--if this is a good friend (and I'd assume it was if your dd is in her wedding) and she's had to go through the pain of cancelling a wedding, I wouldn't add to her pain by asking her to pay for the dress. Friendship is always more important to me than money.

$165 is not a huge amount of money. She had already planned on paying it anyways. My concern and thoughts would be about my friend's well being, not that I still have to pay $65 for a dress.

 

[aprilgail2]

If I was that bride I would certainly feel that I should step up and pay for those dresses as it was my fault they spent the money on them. If the bride did not offer to pay for them and I was the one that still owed money at the dress store I think that I would just not even go pick it up and take the 100.00 loss- no use adding another 65.00 to that loss!

 

[cluvsdisney]

If I was that bride I would certainly feel that I should step up and pay for those dresses as it was my fault they spent the money on them. If the bride did not offer to pay for them and I was the one that still owed money at the dress store I think that I would just not even go pick it up and take the 100.00 loss- no use adding another 65.00 to that loss!

This is along what I was thinking. It would be nice if the bride offered to pick up the costs but in your daughter's shoes I would give it a pass since a good friend is obviously in a bad state with a million (probably costly) details to work out. The store probably won't be out anything, they'll just sell the dress to someone else. They were already paid for more than half the price so it's unlikely they'll take the loss.

 

[Disneylover99]

If I was that bride I would certainly feel that I should step up and pay for those dresses as it was my fault they spent the money on them. If the bride did not offer to pay for them and I was the one that still owed money at the dress store I think that I would just not even go pick it up and take the 100.00 loss- no use adding another 65.00 to that loss!

This is along what I was thinking. It would be nice if the bride offered to pick up the costs but in your daughter's shoes I would give it a pass since a good friend is obviously in a bad state with a million (probably costly) details to work out. The store probably won't be out anything, they'll just sell the dress to someone else. They were already paid for more than half the price so it's unlikely they'll take the loss.

My thoughts too. Receiving a group text saying the wedding is off, but you need to pay for and pick up your dress is tacky and tasteless IMO.

 

[aprilgail2]

My thoughts too. Receiving a group text saying the wedding is off, but you need to pay for and pick up your dress is tacky and tasteless IMO.

totally agree! The bride didn't even have the courtesy to give them a phone call to tell them in person rather than sending a text-that was the cowards way out.

 

[Granny square]

If never expect the bridesmaid to pay for the dress had it been my wedding. Why should they pay for something I asked them to buy for my party?

 

[alicat8]

It might depend on the situation I guess. Did the groom do something really terrible? Did he call it off or did she? Was it a wedding that never should have happened? Was she shaky about it all along? Tough situation. If it were me as the bride, I'd feel guilty no matter what and would never ask my friends to pay (and definitely not in a mass text message-that's the part that bothers me the most...who does that?) But if it were for a friend's wedding, I'd more than likely pay for the dress without question.

 

[MSLRAC]

totally agree! The bride didn't even have the courtesy to give them a phone call to tell them in person rather than sending a text-that was the cowards way out.

Coward? Wow! We have no idea why the wedding was cancelled. The bride is probably very upset and has a million things going through her mind. She has countless calls to make to cancel vendors and I would imagine that those are going to be difficult and costly calls to make. So I think she needs to be cut some slack that she sent her bridesmaids, women that are her closest friends, a matter of fact text to try to wrap up that loose end.

I personally think it's tacky for a bridesmaid's first thought to be repayment for her dress when something like this happens. Finish paying for the dress and resale it.

 

[Art 1]

Just leave the dress and don't pick it up. The store covered their costs with the down payment and will re sell it at some point.

 

[DebbieB]

If it hasn't been altered, I would see if the bridal shop would send it back.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Coward? Wow! We have no idea why the wedding was cancelled. The bride is probably very upset and has a million things going through her mind. She has countless calls to make to cancel vendors and I would imagine that those are going to be difficult and costly calls to make. So I think she needs to be cut some slack that she sent her bridesmaids, women that are her closest friends, a matter of fact text to try to wrap up that loose end.

I personally think it's tacky for a bridesmaid's first thought to be repayment for her dress when something like this happens. Finish paying for the dress and resale it.

Bingo.

She probably figures her friends (assuming her bridesmaids are her friends) will understand how busy she must be and how difficult the situation is for her. She has enough people to call and explain the situation to. It must be very difficult to have to repeatedly explain the wedding is off.

 

[anniemae]

I would not feel comfortable asking the bride to pay for the dress. I would just suck it up and pay for it. If all the bridesmaids take the dresses together to a consignment shop, they may get a good deal on the dresses, so they could be sold as a set for someone else's wedding.

 

[mamamary]

If I was that bride I would certainly feel that I should step up and pay for those dresses as it was my fault they spent the money on them. If the bride did not offer to pay for them and I was the one that still owed money at the dress store I think that I would just not even go pick it up and take the 100.00 loss- no use adding another 65.00 to that loss!

This is the first thing that I thought of too.

 

[JanaDee]

Bridesmaids pay for their dress, even if the wedding is called off.