But yet you managed to have a long and satisfying marriage in spite of it?
This is totally not a thing that's done here, thank the Lord. I've never seen it except on TV and in the movies. It strikes me as being completely absurd.
I'm sure everyone laughed and enjoyed, but I guess I'm "old" too, because I think it's a bit sad. I love a beautiful wedding and reception and feeding the cake used to be a touching moment. I just don't understand why so many people get so much enjoyment out of trashing or insulting traditionally formal occasions...from guests who wear flip flops and shorts to weddings or funerals to the prank-style humor like this.
Is that the benchmark though? Or should it be the benchmark? I won't speak for the poster on the status of how they feel, their feelings are their own but respectfully for someone to describe feeling bitter 29 years later my first response isn't going to be along the lines of "but you're good right?" Regardless of what that act is.
I mean yes that is something that could happen but I'd be wiling to bet it's not a "I'm divorcing you because you put cake in my face" but rather the emotions behind the act and what it meant for them. An act of betrayal? An act of disrespect? An act of disregarding your partner's expressed wishes which seem quite feasible to respect, etc. To people those things may be their line.
To be fair you said it was something people would adapt to. What are you adapting to? That your partner doesn't respect your boundaries? That doesn't sound like a healthy marriage to me. I don't know if things can't improve but it certainly sets the tone of the marriage, no?
FWIW, I've never seen this "feeding of the cake" thing in real life either. It strikes me as weird. Here, the couple stands behind the cake with their hands together on the cake knife and everybody takes pictures - that's about it. Very occasionally the couple will cut the cake and guests will line up to get a slice and have a little moment with them. More often if it's to be served, it will be taken away after pictures to be portioned in the kitchen.
My comments upthread didn't imply it wasn't an awful thing to do, just that it's not necessarily unforgivable. And really, what's the alternative? Annulment? For all the posters that have mentioned it, tell us what you'd really do if it happened to you. I doubt many would be willing to simply walk away, then and there.
We did manage to have a long and satisfying marriage in spite of it. I was shocked and horrified when it happened, and though he feels/felt bad, it doesn’t make that moment go away. I’m not sure if that means I found it unforgivable or not. He would never ever do something like that today. I guess he learned from his mistake
I may be way off base but from how you explained it, maybe it wasn't done with malice or with the idea of controlling or humiliating you? It sounds like an incredibly bad momentary judgment about what might have been funny, fueled by, as you say, his idiot father. I don't blame you for a second for being furious and hurt but even when you use the word "bitter" to describe yourself, I don't get the sense it's the "I'm going to punish you forever" kind of thing. 
Hopefully you did punish him just a little bit though.
Really? You're policing how I respond? Pfft..girl please.
A sorbet bar is right up my alley! And yes it was epic! I forget what their cake was (it was one of the cupcake flavors) but they had vanilla, chocolate, red velvet, bourbon pecan, the vegan one and I believe carrot cake! And these cupcakes weren’t tiny either they were like Disney size cupcakes!
Right? All this talk has me craving it.
No need to tell me I'm "waaaay overthinking what you’re quoting and commenting on." That in itself is policing what I'm saying, you quoted me basically for no reason, no contribution, just "lemmie critique you"
although can't say I'll be thinking of this thread when I do. Enjoy the rest of your day
