Wedding Apparel help

[Poohforyou]

It's a cute outfit but if you're trying to impress your boyfriend's conservative family I'd go with something different. I think what you chose is just a little too much for where you're going.

 

[kwelch10377]

You look beautiful and should wear exactly what you would like. However if your goal truly is to not stand out then I personally would choose a different look for the wedding. In a nutshell, your look is very urban, IMO. I know because I live in an urban area in the PNW. Your outfit would look perfect here, including the ink!

But for what you've described as your goal I would pick a color other than black and something with more coverage on top. I would also go for nude or black shoes, depending on the dress. The coverage would be for modesty and also to deflect attention from your tattoo. Otherwise the tattoo will be the first thing everyone notices about you. That can be fine. But if you really want to blend in more, then I would dress more conservatively.

I agree with this. I would picture this dress being worn to an evening wedding at trendy urban type location. I would look for something that is knee length and in maybe a jewel tone. I think a darker purple, jade or navy would look good with your hair color and skin tone.

 

[lovemygoofy]

OP, you need to talk to your boyfriend again. Get a good idea/vibe from him what his family is like. If they are conservative people, I would think about a different dress. Does the family appreciate the ink? When you are saying older people, I'm guessing grandparents? Ask about how they are going to react to see the tattoo? If this the first time meeting a lot of this family, I would lean on the side of caution and wear a short sleeve dress. I personally think the style of dress is just fine. If the bride is trendy or "upscale" she would probably appreciate the black dress and the style.

Is the entire service taking place at the country club or the reception? If the service takes place in a church, it's pretty traditional in the South to cover your shoulders. (I'm 35 and still can't go into church with naked shoulders).

I love the shoes and don't think there is a probably with them because you do have to be yourself to a point and the shoes show off a touch of you. Don't be someone you are not by any means.

The first time I met my future inlaws. I had on a bright pink neon shirt with glitter letters that says "everyone loves a southern girl...." My inlaws are all yankees

 

[MissMichigan]

Well, don't know if it matters, but I wore this dress to another wedding in Tulsa last year:

No one said anything or made any comments, beyond telling me I looked pretty. The guests at that one ranged from prom-dress type outfits, to very similar to mine, to jeans and plaid shirts, lol.

Honestly I think it's the shoes that are throwing me off more than the dress. They're so...flashy, lol. That, and when we were at a work picnic for him last summer, one of the women there was wearing a pretty hi-low and several other women said she looked "skanky" or "****ty" so that hemline has me a bit concerned too. (i've never worn one before)

DB was able to get a cell signal for a bit, so I texted him a pic. He said he loved it.

I wasn't really asking about my tattoos...just the dress/shoe combo. Yes, I want people to have a good impression of me, but not to the point that I'm going to wear a sweater everywhere go in case someone doesn't like ink. It's part of me, who I am, and I like them. I didn't spend all that money to hide them away. For what it's worth, DB also has several.

 

[krcit]

OP, is there someone from the area that you could ask? You don't want to stick out but you also need to be comfortable and be 'you', ykwim?

 

[mrsklamc]

Well if these are the same people at this wedding, then the cat's out of the bag about the ink.

The hemline is very 'in' right now so I would think people making comments about it were just jealous/snarky.

 

[mrsklamc]

OP, is there someone from the area that you could ask? You don't want to stick out but you also need to be comfortable and be 'you', ykwim?

Yeah and I don't know about OP but my guy would be useless at this. He would look, think "she looks hot" and have no idea if it was appropriate or not.

 

[Hrhpd]

Well, don't know if it matters, but I wore this dress to another wedding in Tulsa last year:

No one said anything or made any comments, beyond telling me I looked pretty. The guests at that one ranged from prom-dress type outfits, to very similar to mine, to jeans and plaid shirts, lol.

Honestly I think it's the shoes that are throwing me off more than the dress. They're so...flashy, lol. That, and when we were at a work picnic for him last summer, one of the women there was wearing a pretty hi-low and several other women said she looked "skanky" or "****ty" so that hemline has me a bit concerned too. (i've never worn one before)

DB was able to get a cell signal for a bit, so I texted him a pic. He said he loved it.

I wasn't really asking about my tattoos...just the dress/shoe combo. Yes, I want people to have a good impression of me, but not to the point that I'm going to wear a sweater everywhere go in case someone doesn't like ink. It's part of me, who I am, and I like them. I didn't spend all that money to hide them away. For what it's worth, DB also has several.

This is a much more classic and elegant look than the dress in the OP. Very beautiful.

I would stick to something along these lines for a country club wedding in the bible belt.

 

[pumpkinmomma]

Country club wedding in the Bible Belt?

I'm guessing that while this would be great to wear to a wedding in Manhattan, you're courting trouble in Tulsa OK with black & strapless.

If you buy some kind of shrug in a color other than black (since your shoes are purple I'd go with that) and if you keep it on all night you'd probably be OK.

Google "purple shrugs"...there are quite a number to choose from.

I disagree. I am a Tulsa native, her dress would be fine. Tulsa is not some backwater. Have any of you all ever been to Tulsa? My guess would be no.

OP- I think the dress is fine but something about the shoes isn't working for me. I think it's the ankle strap with the high-low hemline. I think I'd try a different shoe. I'd also find a shrug or shawl to go with the dress in case the church is very formal or it's chilly.

ETA- I've worn black to the last three weddings I've attended here in OK. Two were held at a country club. Half the guests were in black cocktail dresses.

 

[mrsklamc]

Yes, I have been to Tulsa and wasn't thinking it was a backwater- I stand by my statement that someone will be judgy about the ink.

 

[minkydog]

Yes, I have been to Tulsa and wasn't thinking it was a backwater- I stand by my statement that someone will be judgy about the ink.

Me too. The first thing my eyes went to is the massive ink on the upper arm. I never even noticed the purple shoes until they were pointed out. Not that I have opinion about ink, you understand. But this look might be a bit provocative for some conservative families. After all, it is the bride's day to shine.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I'm from Texas, not Oklahoma, but I do have experience with the country club bible belt group in my state. So, not knowing the specific people at the wedding, I can only go off of what my friends and family would say/think. First, none of them would say anything negative to your face, even if you showed up in ripped jeans and a halter top. Now, to each other (especially after the wedding) would be something else entirely. About your specific look, my friends and family would have comments on the ink showing. Many of my friends would love the tattoo, but not really think that the wedding was the proper setting to show it off. I would likely encourage you to wear a shrug of some sort to cover it up - at least during the ceremony. Also, many people here are hesitant to go strapless at a wedding as a guest. Many would consider a more conservative look to be a bit more appropriate. The color black can go either way. Many think that black or white at a wedding is inappropriate for the guests. Others feel black is okay as long as it is an evening wedding. I would probably recommend a shrug in a brightish color just to take away from the all black thing and to keep from going completely strapless. I like the idea of the pop of color with the heels, but I'm not sure about the ankle strap with the hemline of the dress.

No matter what you decide, make sure that you feel comfortable in your dress, both physically and emotionally. You don't want to be in a dress you can't move in and you also don't want to wear something that will make you wonder if people are criticizing or judging you behind your back. Either way, you won't be able to have a good time. If you feel good about your dress, shoes, hair, and accessories, that will go a long way.

 

[krcit]

I like the first dress but I love the one from last year...you look gorgeous!! BTW, the colors in your tat are amazing!

 

[RadioNate]

I do like both dresses in general & have no issue with black for weddings.

However, I'd be hesitant to wear strapless as a guest to a wedding. I absolutely agree that a shrug or sweater would be appropriate.

The 2nd dress is lovely.

 

[MissMichigan]

Thanks for the continued responses!

Just to clarify once more, I'm not seeking opinions on my tattoos and whether or not they should be covered. To cover my tattoos, I would literally have to wear a long-sleeved turtleneck and pants or a floor length skirt. I've met these people, they all know me. All his siblings as well as mom, dad, and step-mom are facebook friends. They all know I have them, they've all seen them...no point in covering them. I love them, DB loves them. Yes, I have a lot of ink but that doesn't mean I have to dress like a nun to still be classy.

I'm just looking for opinions on the combination of dress and shoe. I agree with a PP about the ankle strap combined with the hemline...it looks, I don't know, just off.

The other dress, in my opinion, is actually less "refined". It's skin tight and shows a lot of chest. (not to mention, the sequins scratch my arms, lol) The new dress is loser and covers me up top.

 

[l_mccafferty]

I agree with you that the dress is slightly more conservative than the last one. I don't get this dip hem thing but that's just me (i'm not really into fashion!).
I like the strapless one, but agree about the shoes. Would it be possible to go with a full shoe as opposed to one with straps? I just think if you're making your shoes a pop of colour then they should be a full shoe if that makes sense.

I wouldn't be worried about your tattoo, as you said, it is part of you. If they don't like it tough. And if at a beautiful wedding, all the guests can talk about it another guests tattoo, it says a lot about them.

I'd go for a shrug or a wrap as for formal occasions (such as the ceremony), I think its more respectful (for want of a better word) to have your shoulders covered. (I'm getting married this year in a chapel and for respect reasons need my own shoulders to be covered).

Good luck OP, and I think you look pretty

 

[cbg1027]

First off, it's hard to say what's appropriate for the wedding without knowing exactly what the dress code and venue are. Country club to me says at least cocktail, perhaps semi-formal.

With that in mind, I much prefer the second dress with straps. It's a very classic silhouette and looks more sophisticated than the hi-lo.

The hi-lo dress is pretty, but I think hi-lo is too trendy for a wedding that you aren't sure of the dress code. If it were one of your close friends and you knew the situation better I'd say go with the hi-lo and be fun.

I loooooove the purple shoes you had on with the hi-lo, but I'm not sure they would work with the strapped dress.

I would go with the strapped dress, and find a nice shawl, shrug, or cardigan to go with it.

Oh, btw, you look gorgeous!

 

[Luvchefmic]

Now that I see the second dress & shoes I would go with that I think a simpler look Let me just say again your Tatoo is beautiful so are you and anyone that has something to say in a not nice way can go pound salt Don't agree with the tiara though, its the brides day to stand out, without it you will blend in as a guest in an elegant way

 

[Hrhpd]

Thanks for the continued responses!

Just to clarify once more, I'm not seeking opinions on my tattoos and whether or not they should be covered. To cover my tattoos, I would literally have to wear a long-sleeved turtleneck and pants or a floor length skirt. I've met these people, they all know me. All his siblings as well as mom, dad, and step-mom are facebook friends. They all know I have them, they've all seen them...no point in covering them. I love them, DB loves them. Yes, I have a lot of ink but that doesn't mean I have to dress like a nun to still be classy.

I'm just looking for opinions on the combination of dress and shoe. I agree with a PP about the ankle strap combined with the hemline...it looks, I don't know, just off.

The other dress, in my opinion, is actually less "refined". It's skin tight and shows a lot of chest. (not to mention, the sequins scratch my arms, lol) The new dress is loser and covers me up top.

It sounds like you have made up your mind, so just go with it. If you are arguing why you should wear it, that means that you want to wear it. So, go with it. You don't need a bunch of strangers on the internet's permission.

But just for the record, the second dress is seen as classier/classic because of
a) the straps and classic neckline
b) the length
c) you are wearing a much more conservative shoe.

It may have been skin tight, but you do have straps that automatically make it more classic. And the neckline, while showing some chest, is a classic scoop neckline.

The length is skimming your knees, again classic. The short part of the Hi-Lo dress is shorter, and the solid part (under the sheer overskirt) is even shorter. Look at your picture, the overskirt is see through, so you judge the length by the solid part, which is an extreme mini.

You have accessorized the second dress with a classic black shoe and clutch. While the tiara is a bit eccentric, I am assuming it has something to do with your screenname.

The first dress gives the impression of teen prom or young person dance lounge dress. To me, it reflects on your ink negatively.

The second dress gives the impression of elegant. young but mature and successful woman. It reflects on your ink positively. (And I am not a fan of ink, I immediately go to trash) BUT...in a classically styled dress, it is actually very beautiful and I quite like it. You just have to package it the right way.

Take this for what it is worth as one of the older type people that might be at the wedding, although I am not bible belt conservative.

 

[dAnconia]

I will be honest. For a wedding with my family that would be considered not quite covering enough. The combination of strapless, a few inches above the knee, and ink would be too much. If you were a conservative dress that had some shoulder coverage and was to the knee, then the tattoo would not stand out as much. If you wore a dress that had sleeves to the elbow to cover the ink but kept the length of your current dress than that too would be ok. But the combination of all would be scandalous. That being said, every group is different and lots of my friends would find the ensemble to be perfect.