We may elope... (kinda long) *UPDATE p6*

[vettechick99]

We are planning a wedding for April, just 6 months away. We just met with his parents last night and they graciously gave us some money to help out.

The problem is that it only equals about 1/10 the money needed for the wedding. My parents gave the same amount and it was also 1/10. So we have 1/5 the wedding budget.

That wedding budget didn't include the honeymoon, the rings, etc. So on top of those things, we'd need to cover the 4/5 they can't give us. We just can't do that..and I refuse to go into debt.

Our options are slim. We had already knocked the guest list from 150 to 100 to make it more affordable. Going smaller isn't really feasible...I have at least 15 in my immediate family, not to mention our close friends and his immediate family.

Our best option is to elope. I know my family will be ok with it. I think his mom would be upset, but nothing she couldn't get over.

Have you eloped? Did you tell people before, or just run off? What was the aftermath? Are you happy or sad you did it?

Where is a good place to elope? We live in GA, but we'd be open to other locales.

 

[browneyes]

I live near 2 towns in NW Georgia that a lot of people choose to frequent just to elope.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[leahannpen]

Weddings are so dang expensive!! First, maybe you could check out this site: Saving money

If you decide to "elope", there are some neat tropical places, like Mexico or Jamaica that you could not only get a honeymoon, but a wedding too. Maybe you could check into something like that? It'll still cost money, but not tens of thousands.

Good luck whatever you decided. I hope you do what makes you happy!

 

[Live4FW]

Check out the wedding chapel in Kennesaw. You could probably arrange a very small wedding and then take off to the mountains, get a nice cabin.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Do I get a vote????

I vote for sunset or sunrise on a beach somewhere. You can be barefoot and wearing some filmy dress, with flowers in your hair.

 

[MosMom]

We got eloped and didn't tell anyone. We got married in our living room with just a few friends. There was aftermath because we were young (21) and DH's mom was just upset because she wanted to be there.

So, perhaps you should just have a very small ceremony with only parents & siblings then go out to dinner afterwards instead of a reception. If I could do things again, that is how we would have done it. Instead we are getting remarried in two years in Disney and inviting everyone then.

 

[stinkerbelle]

after going through the "big wedding" last year...I'd vote to elope too!

so much less hassel.

why not do a vegas wedding, get married (as that is the most important part of a "wedding"), and have a small reception type thing afterwards? (either in a park or town hall)...make it more casual, and you'll save money.

 

[robinb]

Do not elope!

Cut the wedding back even more to immediate family and your very, very best friends. Cut the reception to cake and punch in the church basement. It's not a "dream" wedding, but you won't go into debt.

 

[Crankyshank]

You can not have a honeymoon. That's what DH& I did

 

[KristiKelly]

I don't know how much money they gave, but if you really price everything out, it can be done nice yet inexpensive. I know, my Dad is one of the cheapest men alive . For my wedding cake, he wanted me to go to the grocery store & buy several sheet cakes - Ummm NO! Anyway, my mom's sisters did the catering for the reception, we used a histrorical museum in our area. that was a cost but my mom paid for that, my parents are divorced so my mom paid for more than my dad. We were very fortunate though, all we paid for were the rings, honeymoon & gifts for the wedding party.

Also, if you're interested, go to www.disneywedding.disney.go.com , they have small wedding packages starting around $3500. I think this includes 4 nights @ a moderate resort, Ultimate hopper tickets, wedding ceremony, photography, cake & champage, etc. I don't know if you'd be interested but that would cover a small wedding so if parents wanted to attend, and would also include a honeymoon. you could probably get more info on the wedding board.

Whatever you decide, best of luck!!!!!

 

[Miss Jasmine]

DH and I wanted to buy a house instead of having a big wedding, so we had an inimtate wedding at a wedding chapel in town with about 15 guests (most of our family lives out of state and out of the country), then we went on a 3-day Disney Cruise (our REAL honeymoon was the next summer when we went to Ireland to visit family). Actually we moved into the house (we had it built) about a month before our Ireland trip. It was a very crazy time.

Sorry to go off topic, it just brought back memories. LOL

 

[aprincessmom]

When I married I paid for my wedding. I come from a large family where 300-400 guests is considered average. There was no way I could afford a wedding like that in the greater Boston area and since I'd been out of the house and on my own for over 8 years I wasn't going to take money from my parents.

I ended up going to a place where I had booked our company picnic...a YMCA camp. It was great. We had the camp for the whole day and our guests enjoyed swimming, sailing, softball and beach volleyball. We had a huge barbeque of chicken, steak, hot dogs and hamburgers as well as numerous salads. I bought all the drinks (alcoholic and non-alcoholic) from BJs and through the father of a friend of mine who owned a golf course and let me use his discount. I just had to haul them all to the site and ice them up (beer and wine...nothing too fancy).

I got my flowers through the florist shop of the local grocery store and they cost about $300 less than the exact bouquets, corsages, and buttonieres at the local florist shop. I hired a commercial photographer instead of a wedding photographer...much more cost effective (pay by the hour and only for hte pictures you want) and the quality was superb!

The cake was a gift from my ex's sister, the ceremony was done as a gift to us by a friend of the family who is a minister, and I typeset my own invitations and used special paper that I bought directly instead of the standard invites.

We had about 132 guests and it cost (including rings, food, site, dress, flowers, dj, photographer, softball equipment, bocce game, drinks, invitations, postage and tips) under $5000. And while the marriage didn't last, people talk fondly about that wedding to this day. It was a great time and lots of fun and extremely affordable.

Weddings don't need to be expensive if you can think creatively.

 

[bjgrazi]

Don't elope. Cut it back make it simple, but don't elope. Everyone thinks they need the big wedding with all the bells & whistles. Have a beautiful ceremony and something small after it.

This past weekend I went to one of the most beautiful weddings ever and I know the Bride & Groom didn't come close to paying $1,500 for the whole day. They did a ton of work themselves, but in the end it payed off. It's all about the marriage not the party.

 

[kpgclark]

Here's what we did. We "eloped" but we told our parents the date we would get married. My grandmother paid for a week long honeymoon in the Bahamas (and my parents bought us a new car!) About six months later my parents rented out a really cute Irish Pub and we hosted a big Champagne buffet brunch and invited lots of people. We had a wedding cake and a guy who played the keyboard. It was so much fun and really relaxing. I'd do it again in a minute. This way you still have a nice celebration but it isn't such a huge ordeal with all the planning etc. My parents would have been happy if we had a big wedding but really didn't care one way or another. They did the same thing we did!!

 

[MagicalMom]

Have you thought about a backyard wedding? We paid for our own wedding. We did pretty good. Maybe about 5000.00 total. We had the reception at the church hall. About 100 guests. My Mom made the cake, beautiful! She's very talented. She also did all of the cooking. I hired a DJ, but only gave him 1/2 of his money. (he didn't bring our song that we had requested 6 months in advance. It was on the top 10 lists. He didn't tell us until we were about to be announced as husband & wife...........anyways, a few phone calls made by the bestman & the price was quickly knocked down, but that's a whole other story........sorry to tamble. ). I bought my dress on clearance. I loved it. I wore ballet slippers, so that knocked down the price of the shoes. Around prom season I was at Value City & found a great burgandy dresses for my bridesmaids. I knew they were all on tight budgets, so I bought those. Luckily they were in the sizes I needed. I ordered all of my decorations from catalogs. My centerprieces were from the dollar store! No one knew, they were pretty glass bowls with floating candles. LOL The good thing about cutting the guest list down is that the only people who are there truly care about you. They aren't there to judge what kind of food you are having or how big your budget was. My sister did the pictures & my uncle did the video. It was a truly fun family affair.

 

[Sandy V.]

"It's all about the marriage not the party."

Words of wisdom by bgrazi.

I agree with those that have suggested either a small local ceremony or a destination wedding that wouldn't break the bank. If it were me, I would spend my $$ on the honeymoon; the time you two spend together in celebration of your marriage is the most important.

I did a moderate wedding 21+ years ago; paid for it myself. We're still married and I love looking at our photographs even today, but if we had to do it all over again, we would have had a much smaller, less expensive ceremony and a much longer honeymoon.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, and congratulations!

 

[LoraJ]

I have always dreamed of a big wedding, but as it gets closer to a reality, I just can't see paying that much money for a wedding. Weddings are extremely expensive here. My parents already gave up on me and used my wedding funds on cruises.

So now I think I would either do A.) a small wedding in someone's back yard. or B.)Get married somewhere like in Vegas or the Bahamas. But, I would tell everyone I know they are welcome to come. No matter what i would want to do something that would be do-able for my parents and brother, his wife and my nephew.

Now I just need to get engaged.

But i think you guys should do what is best for you. Don't worry abotu what other people try and pressure you into.

 

[lovemygoofy]

My Dh and I paid for our own wedding too. We couldn't get the list narrowed down to more than 150. We paid for everything. We had a finger food type reception. We bought all the food from Sam's honestly. My mother's sister made the food up and put it on fancy plates. This may sound tacky but we found some really good vendors to work with us and put the really expensive things such as the dress and the rings on lay-away instead of having to put it on cc. We decided not to have a dj or bar because of alcohol issues within both sides of the family. Did I mention that my family and the wedding was in AR and his family is from Michigan and Indiana and we live in TN/KY? You would be suprised what you can do and it be very lovely ceremony. We didn't have a honeymoon and instead saved and went on a wild week of no holds barred at WDW the next year. If you want some more suggestions please feel free to PM me anytime. I will say that I was the one that wanted to elope but my romantic of a husband insisted on a ceremony no matter how big or small. Now I'm really glad that we didn't.

Good luck,
Tina

 

[bubie2.5]

Come to the Dominican Republic and have a beach wedding... our marriage and divorce laws are quite "flexible" (ask Michael Jackson). Just add me to your guest list.

weddings in the DR

 

[RadioNate]

I wouldn't elope. Here's why. It is important to have your families there.

I know my son is only 3 but I would be crushed if I couldn't be at his wedding. I also know my parents (and grandparents) really wanted to see me get married.

Find a local chapel or use your hometowm church or even go to the courthouse but I'd find a way to have your families there.

Maybe do a small party at home with family and friends and then go on great honeymoon.

I know I'd regret leaving my family out of my wedding and since you already know his mother would be upset I wouldn't start off the marriage that way.

On the flip side my friends did elope and their families didn't care. However I do know now that she wished she had more traditional wedding things (like a shower and reception with friends) even if the ceremony was intimate.