We Have Not Even Sent the Paperwork Back & We Have Drama

[bytheblood]

Warning: I am ranting a bit


I am sure some of you will remember all of the questions I had about DVC from December up until....well, now.

We have not even mailed the paperwork back to Disney and we have drama that I would have never suspected. I am sure some of you remember that before I asked questions about my own DVC that I mentioned we were going in December 2011 on a friends points. The plan was for us to rent points for a 2 bedroom villa at AKV Kidani. The logistics were to be me and my husband in the master bedroom, my daughter in the living area and my in-laws in the 2nd bedroom. My husband and I were paying the price for the 1-bedroom villa and my in-laws were to pay only for the additional cost for the 2nd room.

Well, my husband I decided last week that we would move forward and buy into DVC. My in-laws found out at last Saturday and all of the sudden they think they are going to Disney for free. We told them that the price would stay the same as it would have been through my friend, though we are paying a higher price for the points than she did. We did not buy in at a high number of points; therefore we are banking, using and borrowing almost 3 years worth of points for this trip and they want it for free because we now own Disney timeshare.

My husband explained to them (his parents) that we would ask anybody who uses our points to pay for them because it is limiting the number of vacations we can take and we are still paying for the timeshare and dues. They feel that because they are family it should be free to them.

They own several timeshares (not Disney) and have never offered us a free vacation nor have they ever given their vacations to anybody else in the family to use.

My husband also explained to them that if they were to pay out-of-pocket for a studio it would be 3x the amount and a savanna room would be 4.5x the amount. They have not said anything else, but are acting like we are ripping them off.

Has anybody else ran into this and what was your resolution to the whole thing.

 

[Brian Noble]

The most important thing is that your husband is the one talking to his parents. That's the standing rule in our marriage: when we have to have a difficult conversation with one of my folks, it's my job. When we have to have such a conversation with her folks, that's her job.

As to how to resolve it---only you and your husband know the relationship he has with his parents, so it's hard for me to say. What's more, different people take different approaches with their timeshares. Some split the costs, others ask only for contributions of good conversation. It's also possible that they don't understand the DVC point model. For example, they might own fixed-sized units, in which case they might not "get it" that staying in a 2BR costs you more than in a 1BR. In my case, I own some fixed-sized units, and if I exchange them, it costs the same no matter what size unit I end up occupying. For example, I have a stay in a 4BR unit in Williamsburg coming up next month---it costs me the same as it would have to get an exchange for a 2BR, so we exchanged for the 4BR, and invited some old friends to join us as a gift. But, if I were using Points instead of Weeks, it would have cost more.

But, if the two of you have agreed that your model is rental-market rates, then that's the model you have. He's explained it to them, they can decide whether they'd like to come along under those terms, or if they'd rather not.

 

[Chuck S]

While many DVC members do charge family a rental rate, if I invite someone I do not charge them.

I think you should have used your points for a one bedroom, so you would not be banking/borrowing for this trip, and should have had your inlaws pay your friend for a studio. It may not have been connected, like two bedroom, but sometimes taking a vacation together can put areal strain on a family relationship, and it is nice to not have them right next door in a connecting room. You could have simply told your inlaws you didn't buy enough points for a two bedroom.

 

[Tara]

I've never had this problem, but since you seem to feel strongly about being compensated for your points, I'd tell them, "We would love to vacation with you,but the terms remain the same. Please give us your decision by X date."

 

[toniosmom]

While many DVC members do charge family a rental rate, if I invite someone I do not charge them.

I think you should have used your points for a one bedroom, so you would not be banking/borrowing for this trip, and should have had your inlaws pay your friend for a studio. It may not have been connected, like two bedroom, but sometimes taking a vacation together can put areal strain on a family relationship, and it is nice to not have them right next door in a connecting room. You could have simply told your inlaws you didn't buy enough points for a two bedroom.

I agree with you, Chuck.

 

[bytheblood]

While many DVC members do charge family a rental rate, if I invite someone I do not charge them.

I think you should have used your points for a one bedroom, so you would not be banking/borrowing for this trip, and should have had your inlaws pay your friend for a studio. It may not have been connected, like two bedroom, but sometimes taking a vacation together can put areal strain on a family relationship, and it is nice to not have them right next door in a connecting room. You could have simply told your inlaws you didn't buy enough points for a two bedroom.

Well, we did not "invite" them in that sense. The initial conversation was clear that it was to be a family vacation where everybody pays their own way.
They still think that we should use all of our points so they can go for free.

 

[bytheblood]

I've never had this problem, but since you seem to feel strongly about BEng compensated for your points, I'd tell them, "We would love to vacation with you,but the terms remain the same. Please give us your decision by X date."

I don't really understand your tone towards me. WE feel strongly about it because we will be using 3 years worth of points (unless we add-on before then). Otherwise, we would be taking a vacation for a week each year instead of 1 vacation every 3 years.

 

[jlewisinsyr]

I don't really understand your tone towards me. WE feel strongly about it because we will be using 3 years worth of points (unless we add-on before then). Otherwise, we would be taking a vacation for a week each year instead of 1 vacation every 3 years.

I don't think Tara meant anything condesending by her statement. Each person handles how they manage their points differently, for me, I would never dream of charging family or invited friends who are going on the same trip as me.

I agree it would probably have been better to have used 2 years of points and book a 1 bedroom and then get a studio for rent from someone else.

 

[disneynutz]

Looks like you are in a real pickle.

When we first got our memberships we always had our friends and family pay their own way, but unfortunately we now find it better to keep WDW to ourselves.

Human nature being what it is, we often found ourselves in a no win situation and our vacations are too precious to have them affected by family and friends.

Good luck and best wishes.

Bill

 

[smcabee]

I took my Bil, 2 Sils, Mil and Fil with my DW and I 2 years ago. They split our transportation costs and bought many of the meals and I provided the Room. We all bought our own tickets. We thought that was a fair split. However, If the agreement you made when you first brought up the subject was that everyone pays their own way then I say hold em to it.

 

[oct2014]

It probably would have been easiest to keep the original reservation (or at least keep a unit for them) and bank your points, but it sounds like it is too late for that.

We do not charge family and friends because we have always offered the points. We are the ones that decided to bank/borrow whatever to cover their rooms. My parents are uncomfortable with this, so this year I booked a separate unit for them and covered some of the nights with points and got the rest of the nights with the cash discount. This way it still is a good deal for them and there is an exact price associated with the unit. I had the discretion to decide how many points to front, but they still get some benefit from my membership and I'm not just picking a number.

I realize you are not just picking a number, but it sounds like you are dividing the room based on the original rental cost. Maybe a compromise would be to only charge them enough to cover the dues for the number of points it is costing you to book a 2 bedroom instead of a 1 bedroom. Then they might not feel like they are paying full price while you are now getting it for free. Of course the rental price wasn't really "full price" anyway and you certainly aren't getting it for "free", but that might be their take because you don't have to put out any cash for the particular vacation and they still are paying the same amount, which they probably see as going in your pocket.

Good luck!
Caroline

 

[Tara]

I don't really understand your tone towards me. WE feel strongly about it because we will be using 3 years worth of points (unless we add-on before then). Otherwise, we would be taking a vacation for a week each year instead of 1 vacation every 3 years.

What I said was intended very matter-of-factly. If you didn't feel strongly about being compensated for your points, it wouldn't be an issue, would it?

 

[Sammie]

We don't invite anyone; like Disneynutz we learned the hard way that family stress on vacation is not a vacation. If we did, I would not charge for the room.

 

[WonderlandsMostWantd]

We made the decision before we bought that if we invited anyone, we'd charge a set cost per person and/or per room. For example, we're going with a 2 bedroom in December. My dad is going to join us and has laid claim to the living room. Our roommate is also going to join us and will be taking the 2nd bedroom to herself. They are each paying my husband and I a rate, per night, for their "room". We decided when determining how much to charge, that we'd go with a cost that is between the rack rate costs of a value resort and a Moderate. We've shown them their options - on the one hand their getting a room that is much larger and nicer than they'd get at a Moderate resort, with more amenities, for less than they'd be paying per night for their own room. They also know what they'd get at a value resort for a bit less money, and can chose what they'd like to do. Sure, they could stay cheaper in a Value, and have their own room, but they'd forgo the kitchen, laundry, balcony, etc. We let them have the choice of staying with us, or getting their own room elsewhere. We figure this gives them the opportunity of upgrading at a substantial savings, or paying less and securing their own reservations.

We ALSO, showed them the point charts, and the difference we're "paying" using the currency that is our vacation points, which we paid for, and continue to pay dues on. They don't know the actual financial cost, but they do know the VALUE of the points were using in terms of what we could do with those points IF we didn't spend the points on them. For example, my room mate knows that for the difference between what we're paying to upgrade from a 1 bedroom (DH, myself, and my dad) to a 2 bedroom for this single trip, we're giving up a weeks worth of points in a studio that we would otherwise have been able to take ourselves in the same year. Or, that if we'd still only done one trip in the year, it would have been enough for X number of additional days.

Some times it helps to sit down and illustrate what the points "cost" in this manner. Sure, they're your points. But if you didn't spend them on your in law's reservation, you could be take more trips or longer trips for your own family. In that sense, you are giving up vacation time to bring them.

Perhaps sitting with them and breaking things down in a similar matter may help them understand?

If not, it sounds like there is still plenty of time before you can even make that reservation. They can decide if they'd like pay the previously agreed upon amount, or, as another poster suggested, secure their own reservation at a cost they are comfortable with, by some other means.

 

[bytheblood]

My husband just got off the phone with his parents and explained to them the reason we asked them to pay for their room. They agree it is a bargain and said they would have done the same. They said they do not understand the timeshare, yet they have two themselves, so I dunno about that. LOL

 

[WonderlandsMostWantd]

Also, in terms of being compensated or not, it depends on your family's own situation and what you can afford or are comfortable with. We decided to charge our friends and family who come with us for a few reasons we discovered while reading the boards. Namely, people don't often recognize the actual value of what you're offering them if they don't have a tangible point of reference as to what it's costing you to offer it up. For us, it "costs" us the ability to take another trip with our points. Also, when people think of something as being "free" they don't tend to feel the same way about commitment and cancellation as they do if there's a cost associated. We don't want to spend extra points on someone else's reservation (and risk losing those points) and have them bail on us at the last minute because they don't figure we'd be out anything by them doing that. Like I mentioned previously, the little bit that we're charging them to stay in a Deluxe resort with a full kitchen, is less than they'd be paying for their own room at Moderate resort, so if they want to stay with us, they can think of it as a great, cheap upgrade. If not, they're free to make their own reservations meet up with us at the World.

Additionally, some people are fortunate enough to have several points available, and have the extra points to spend on larger accommodations or extra rooms, and possibly even bought with that intention in mind. Others of us bought, (at least initially!) just enough points to cover our own vacationing habits for our immediate families. It sounds by the fact that you'd need to bank and borrow to make your reservation happen, that you may be in the latter group. As such, I feel it's perfectly fair that if you're spending a year's worth of points to bring them, and thus giving up a year that you could otherwise bring your daughter, that it's fair to assume that they'd appreciate what your "spending" to bring them instead.

I think it's awesome that so many DVCers are in a position to bring friends and family for free! But, you shouldn't feel bad if you aren't in that position. Everyone's got to know what works for them.

 

[Tamar]

Our relatives (those close enough to invite to join us) want to compensate us somehow, because they know what they would pay if traveling without us. It works out pretty well for us to make a reservation at V&A's Chef's Table and let them pick up that bill in return for us using our points for a 2 bedroom and inviting them along (we're doing that for the second time this year).

 

[edk35]

While many DVC members do charge family a rental rate, if I invite someone I do not charge them.

I think you should have used your points for a one bedroom, so you would not be banking/borrowing for this trip, and should have had your inlaws pay your friend for a studio. It may not have been connected, like two bedroom, but sometimes taking a vacation together can put areal strain on a family relationship, and it is nice to not have them right next door in a connecting room. You could have simply told your inlaws you didn't buy enough points for a two bedroom.

Great advice That is exactly what I was going to say.

 

[Inkmahm]

I don't think Tara meant anything condesending by her statement. Each person handles how they manage their points differently, for me, I would never dream of charging family or invited friends who are going on the same trip as me.

I agree it would probably have been better to have used 2 years of points and book a 1 bedroom and then get a studio for rent from someone else.

I agree with all of the above. I think the difference here though is that we INVITE people to be our guest but the OP didn't invite the parents to be guests, they invited themselves to come for free. That wouldn't sit well with me, either.

 

[kirstenb1]

I don't really understand your tone towards me. WE feel strongly about it because we will be using 3 years worth of points (unless we add-on before then). Otherwise, we would be taking a vacation for a week each year instead of 1 vacation every 3 years.

I think Tara was being factual, nothing more. Other timeshares are often cheaper than DVC. Lets be honest, DVC is expensive. Your inlaws are probably seeing this in a different light than you are. If they have never offered their timeshares to you all, then they probably have no point of refrerence. We've comp'ed our families many times, but we've never had to borrow 3 yrs points to do it. That would give me pause, and I understand your situation.