WDW w/o the Kids???

[dbarker]

We (DH, DS7 and I) just went to WDW in July. I originally wanted to go in December. DH insisted on July also. So, I got us APs so we could go again in December. Now DH and I are considering going in December w/out DS. DS can stay with DGPs and still go to school.

How do you plan a trip w/out the little ones knowing? What do you tell the little ones when you go? DH and I have not been anywhere together w/o kids. This is an odd feeling for me. But, I think once I get used to the idea, I will enjoy it very much.

Please give me all the advice you can.

Thanks.

 

[luvmy2sams]

DH and I took a solo trip to Disney for our 10th anniversary in 2004. We were at WL from December 28th-January 2nd and had the time of our lives. It was our first vacation without the kids, and although it did feel a little strange at times, I would do it again in a heartbeat. No strollers...no diaper changes...complete freedom.

We purchased AP's and took the kids, then ages 5 and 17 months, in October before our trip in December. The kids knew that DH and I were returning alone and had no problems spending some alone time with grandma and papa.

My only advice is to DO IT. The memories will last you a lifetime, but I'll warn you that it will cause you to fantasize and/or take other adult only trips. In the planning stages, we felt guilty about leaving the kids behind, but truthfully a visit with my parents is an awful lot like going to Disney World. They didn't even miss us.

Have fun...and happy planning!

 

[DiznEeyore]

First of all, it's so important for mom and dad to get away for alone time! You haven't been alone anywhere for 7 years? It's time!

We've been to WDW several times without our son. We're doing it again in two months for our 15th anniversary. We've never lied to him about where we're going. He knows that mom and dad need time together, and that our favorite place is WDW, so that's where we go! If we preferred someplace like Vegas, we'd go there -- but WDW is our spot. We have taken a short cruise and a couple of other vacations without him over the years, but those were before we discovered the joy of WDW!

He knows that he's been before and he'll be back again. Honestly, he's never had a big problem with it. It just hasn't been an issue. He stays with his grandparents and they do their thing. And of course we always bring something back for him!

Go and have fun -- Disney is an entirely different place without kids! You two can do exactly what you want to do, on your own schedule. It's a totally different kind of magical!

 

[dbarker]

Thanks for the advice. I asked DS7 today if he thought it would be OK if Mom and Dad went away for a week w/o him. I let him know he would be with DGP. His response was that it ould be OK just as long as it wasn't somewhere fun like WDW. I will not lie to him; I just haven't figured out how to tell him. I guess I need to go ahead and let him know, that way he can get used to the idea.

BTW we do have date nights every once in a while. We just have not been on any trips w/o the kids (DS7 and/or DS19). MIL thinks it is a good idea since we did not have a Honeymoon 8 years ago.

 

[Race the Reaper]

Aaahhhhh.......to dream the impossible dream.

 

[MarkBarbieri]

I just can't imagine enjoying a week at WDW while my kids were at home. I've been several times on business and my thought the entire time was how much I wished the boys were here. I've only got a few more years where they'll want to take trips with me. I can't imagine squandering any of that time on a trip for just me and my wife.

I love to get away for an occasional night out, but I get so prescious little vacation time that I can't see spending it away from the boys. When we go this December, we'll take the DGPs along with us and they can babysit the kids if we want a night out alone at WDW.

 

[DiznEeyore]

I've only got a few more years where they'll want to take trips with me. I can't imagine squandering any of that time on a trip for just me and my wife.

I love to get away for an occasional night out, but I get so prescious little vacation time that I can't see spending it away from the boys.

Wow, that's really a shame. I can't imagine if my husband thought time away, alone with me was "squandering" it. You have to nurture your relationship with your spouse, and that includes time away from the kids. The best gift you can give your kids is a strong, vibrant marriage!

To the OP, you mentioned "asking" your son if it was okay if you and your dh went away ... IMHO, that's the wrong way to go about it. It's not *up* to him -- it has to be "Honey, daddy and I are going to have some special time together. You'll have a great time with grandma and grandpa, and we'll see you when we get back." Never ask a child for permission to do anything, LOL!!

 

[MarkBarbieri]

I should make it clear that I love time with my wife and that we have a wonderful relationship. Taking a trip with just her would be squandering in the sense that it would be even better for me, her, and the boys if we all went. It's like investing your money at 5% instead of 10%. You're making money, but your losing money when you consider the opportunity costs.

We only get 20 vacation days a year. We've been married for 14 years and will spend the rest of our lives together. In 20 years, the kids will be grown, we'll be retired, and we'll have all the time we want to vacation at our leisure. Until then, for us vacation time is always family time.

I can definitely see how it is different for different people. I have friends that NEED time away from their kids. The kids aren't really bad, they're just so intense all the time that they suck the energy out of everyone around them. I know another couple that needed vacation time together without the kids because they were really struggling as a couple. Sadly, in the end it wasn't enough for them.

It takes all types. I know couples that vacation without the kids because they do so little together during the year that they need the time to connect. I know other couples that vacation separately because they need the time apart. For me, my wife and I went to WDW numerous times before we had kids. It was fun, but nothing compared to how much fun it is with young kids. This phase in our lives is too fleeting not to make the most of it. That's why for us it makes more sense to bring the grandparents along rather than to leave the kids behind.

 

[zookeeper]

I just can't imagine enjoying a week at WDW while my kids were at home. I've been several times on business and my thought the entire time was how much I wished the boys were here. I've only got a few more years where they'll want to take trips with me. I can't imagine squandering any of that time on a trip for just me and my wife.

I love to get away for an occasional night out, but I get so prescious little vacation time that I can't see spending it away from the boys. When we go this December, we'll take the DGPs along with us and they can babysit the kids if we want a night out alone at WDW.

Sorry, but I just don't get this point of view.

I'm sure your DW would be pleased to know that time with just her isn't worth it. And IMO that sets a bad example for young boys on how to treat the woman you love.

To the OP, I had a similar issue in that I'm returning to WDW with only 2 of the 5 kids on our next trip. I thought the younger ones would be much more upset and I considered not telling them.Once they knew that the next time it would be them w/o the older 2 (to make it fair) they were OK with it. It also helped that while planning the trip with the older 2 I would "plan" with the younger ones and talk about what we were going to do when it was their turn. That way they didn't feel left out.

 

[dbarker]

I told DS7 that mom & dad were going to WDW in Dec by ourselves. I also told him that we would all go in May as soon as school was out. So, while I am making final arrangements and plans for the M & D trip, I will also be planning the May trip and include DS in all of those plans. I might even let him have some input on what mom & dad might like to do.

On a lighter side: I haven't been on a trip w/o any kids in 19 years. I won't know how to act. This is going to be so much fun.

Back to planning. How do you plan a Dec trip when it is 103 outside? I can't even think what we will wear.

Thanks guys for all the support and differing opinions. I love this board. Y'all are the best.

 

[MarkBarbieri]

Zookeeper, you just don't get my point. It's not that I don't love spending time with my wife. It's that the phase in our lives with young children is so brief that we BOTH prefer to spend it as a family rather than just as a couple. We had years together as a couple during which we took several trips EVERY year. We will have decades together as a couple when the children are grown. We'll enjoy those times immensely, but we'll never have young kids again.

 

[disneyfreakjackie]

I can't imagine squandering any of that time on a trip for just me and my wife.

Your poor, poor wife ... I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this was just a little rude ...

 

[all4fun]

To the OP, you mentioned "asking" your son if it was okay if you and your dh went away ... IMHO, that's the wrong way to go about it. It's not *up* to him -- it has to be "Honey, daddy and I are going to have some special time together. You'll have a great time with grandma and grandpa, and we'll see you when we get back." Never ask a child for permission to do anything, LOL!!

ITA...

 

[zookeeper]

Zookeeper, you just don't get my point. It's not that I don't love spending time with my wife. It's that the phase in our lives with young children is so brief that we BOTH prefer to spend it as a family rather than just as a couple. We had years together as a couple during which we took several trips EVERY year. We will have decades together as a couple when the children are grown. We'll enjoy those times immensely, but we'll never have young kids again.

Oh, I understand what you're saying I just think you should be careful about not taking your wife for granted. A few days a year to spend time with your wife and show her how much you appreciate her will not impact tremendously on your family memories in the long-run, but I guarantee it will mean so much to her. The fact that you did all those things before you had kids would, to me anyways, make it that much more important to show her that she is still just as special to you. Plus, it may give your kids a chance to make some special memories of staying with Grandma and Grandpa for a few days. Afterall, they won't always be around either.

BTW, I have 5 children under the age of 10 so I understand about time flying by, but I still respectfully disagree.

 

[rgribik]

dbarker: Go have fun! Dh and I go every year for a weekend to Dis alone. I would never replace a family trip to Dis just for us, but we take the kids once a year and then we go alone. It is very hard the first time you go, but totally worth it. We have 5 kids and I don't need to get away from them, but it helps Dh and me reconnect and slow down our hetic lives. We tell them where we are going,and that we are going to eat in the big people's restraunts this time, ride things they don't care about and when we take them in the summer the planning is all about them.
BTW: Although 5 is alot of work for Gram and Pop the kids think that is a vacation for all of them!

zookeeper: ITA

 

[Mom2Ty&Lins]

DH and I go to WDW a couple of times a year without the kids. We go four or five times a year with the kids. (The advantage of living two hours away.)

A trip without the kids is completely and totally different than a trip with the kids. Without the kids we can actually have a full-length conversation without interjecting - Leave your brother alone...Stop aggravating your sister...Talk with an inside voice...Put that down before you hurt yourself or someone else. We do miss the kids while we are gone. Within five minutes of being home we are wondering what is was we missed!

Just as one of the previous poster's situation, DH and I have been married 14 years and plan on being with each other the rest of our lives. However, while we are progressing toward 'the rest of our lives' we feel it is very important to stay in tune with each other. Otherwise the kids will grow up, go out on their own, leaving us with an empty nest, and DH and I will look at each other and say "Don't I know you from somewhere?".

 

[mareed]

For the last 4 years, we've taken a nice, long anniversary trip without our 2 DS's (every June trip in my sig). We've always told them where we were going and they've stayed with with family one state away (grandparents, aunts, uncles, & cousins). Of course, you can see that they've also taken trips with us during the year, so I can confidently say that they never felt they missed anything. I'm looking forward to our trip next June (& we'll probably have the kids with us for the first part of that trip!).

 

[rigs32]

If you don't take time to nurture the marriage, you won't have years of happiness to look forward to sharing. Even if you refuse to divorce, it may not be a happy time.

 

[MarkBarbieri]

If you don't take time to nurture the marriage, you won't have years of happiness to look forward to sharing. Even if you refuse to divorce, it may not be a happy time.

It almost seems as though the rest of you think that vacationing away from your kids is a necessary part of having a strong marriage. Perhaps that's true for some, but it isn't for us.

My parents took a trip for their 25th anniversary on their own, but ALL of the other trips they took from the time their first child was born until the last of us could no longer join them were taken as family trips. They'll be celebrating their 50th anniversary soon.

My wife's parents were the same way until her father passed away. Again, while their kids were young, vacations were always family time. It didn't seem to hurt their marriage.

My wife and I are incredibly happy with one another and dearly love our time alone together. We're also both incredibly in love with our children and genuinely enjoy vacations with them. Family trips really do nurture our relationship. They're what live for these days. We know that the time will come when we vacation without the kids, but we'll probably be like my parents - always looking for an angle to get the kids or grandkids to join them on a trip.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't travel without your kids. You know better what your marriage needs. I was simply trying to say that I would be much happier having my kids along. For those that think that my poor wife is suffering because of our getting away from the kids, you presume far too much. She's even more opposed to the idea than I am. Every family is different and ours is quite happy the way we are.

Incidentally, the thing that really helps keep our relationship tight that many of our friends do not do is that we regidly enforce a regular 8:00 PM bedtime. That gives us a couple of hours alone together every night throughout the year. For us, for now, that's enough.

Thank you.

 

[zookeeper]

It almost seems as though the rest of you think that vacationing away from your kids is a necessary part of having a strong marriage. Perhaps that's true for some, but it isn't for us.

My parents took a trip for their 25th anniversary on their own, but ALL of the other trips they took from the time their first child was born until the last of us could no longer join them were taken as family trips. They'll be celebrating their 50th anniversary soon.

My wife's parents were the same way until her father passed away. Again, while their kids were young, vacations were always family time. It didn't seem to hurt their marriage.

My wife and I are incredibly happy with one another and dearly love our time alone together. We're also both incredibly in love with our children and genuinely enjoy vacations with them. Family trips really do nurture our relationship. They're what live for these days. We know that the time will come when we vacation without the kids, but we'll probably be like my parents - always looking for an angle to get the kids or grandkids to join them on a trip.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't travel without your kids. You know better what your marriage needs. I was simply trying to say that I would be much happier having my kids along. For those that think that my poor wife is suffering because of our getting away from the kids, you presume far too much. She's even more opposed to the idea than I am. Every family is different and ours is quite happy the way we are.

Incidentally, the thing that really helps keep our relationship tight that many of our friends do not do is that we regidly enforce a regular 8:00 PM bedtime. That gives us a couple of hours alone together every night throughout the year. For us, for now, that's enough.

Thank you.

I'm sure you and your wife are happy doing whatever works for you. While I still choose to disagree, I think what everyone took most offence to was your use of the word "squandering". I would imagine most of the people that reacted negatively to your post were wives/mothers who would be offended to hear our DH's imply that time with us alone wasn't worth it. Unfortunately, sometimes 1 poor choice of wording in a post can touch a nerve in others reading it and cause others to react quickly not knowing the true intent of the poster. A flaw of discussion boards all over.