Was this rude or what?

[delilah]

Yesterday, we had a church pitch in barbecue picnic after Mass. Before the meal was served (Father has to bless us and say grace before the meal), I was having a conversation with some of my friends. After the blessing, we went to stand in the serving line and continued to have a conversation with the original friends I was sitting with, and some other friends who were in line. My husband had gone home to pick up our son, and while I was in the serving line, he returned and got into the serving line at the end. We were seated at picnic tables in a shelter, which were adjacent to each other, making a long table which would seat about 20 people per side. When I returned to the table where I had been sitting, somebody had taken my place, but, there would still have been room for one person, but not both my husband and I. These were the same people who were sitting there before we left to get our food, they just had moved over after getting their food into the space where I had been sitting. There was room at the end of the table for two more. The people who had moved in were not in conversation with my friends, and I politely asked if they wouldn't mind moving down about 18 inches so there would be room for my husband to sit next to me. They replied, and correctly, that we could sit behind them at the next table, which I did. My friends weren't at the next table, but I was able to strike up a conversation with them while my husband got his meal. But, I thought that was rude not to move down just a little so others could sit with their family.

 

[sam_gordon]

Yesterday, we had a church pitch in barbecue picnic after Mass. Before the meal was served (Father has to bless us and say grace before the meal), I was having a conversation with some of my friends. After the blessing, we went to stand in the serving line and continued to have a conversation with the original friends I was sitting with, and some other friends who were in line. My husband had gone home to pick up our son, and while I was in the serving line, he returned and got into the serving line at the end. We were seated at picnic tables in a shelter, which were adjacent to each other, making a long table which would seat about 20 people per side. When I returned to the table where I had been sitting, somebody had taken my place, but, there would still have been room for one person, but not both my husband and I. These were the same people who were sitting there before we left to get our food, they just had moved over after getting their food into the space where I had been sitting. There was room at the end of the table for two more. The people who had moved in were not in conversation with my friends, and I politely asked if they wouldn't mind moving down about 18 inches so there would be room for my husband to sit next to me. They replied, and correctly, that we could sit behind them at the next table, which I did. My friends weren't at the next table, but I was able to strike up a conversation with them while my husband got his meal. But, I thought that was rude not to move down just a little so others could sit with their family.

You need an "other".

Let me see if I got this right...

You're sitting and talking to friends. Your DH isn't there. You get up to get your food (did your friends just sit there while you got your food?). When you returned, other people who were sitting next to you had moved into "your" space, not leaving room for both your DH & you. You asked them to move over and they suggested you sit at the next table.

Your DH wasn't with you when you returned to the table, correct? So how were they supposed to know you'd need room for him?

It seems a strange thing to get worked up about. And yes, I consider it "worked up" if you're posting on a message board the following day.

 

[BostonJP]

I voted no but only because I'm indifferent. They could have moved but then so could you. I've never seen reserved seating at a church picnic before.

 

[gwynne]

A church picnic is a chance to share and enjoy the special bonds of being in a church family. I'd look for a place with space, sit down, and eat.

 

[Dawnlight]

I feel that once you get up from your seat at such an event, you basically forfeit your spot to anyone that might happen along. It's not a reserved, numbered seat; it's open for anyone to take. Yes, it might have been a little impolite to not move when you asked, but they might just as well be viewing you as impolite for asking people that are eating a meal to move.

 

[anniemae]

Yeah, they could have moved but when you got up and vacated your seat, it was up for the taking.

If you had left your plate of food and gone back quickly because you forgot a fork or a drink, then they probably would not have scooted down. But an empty space? How on earth would they have known it was taken? As others have said, no reserved seating. You get up, you risk losing the seat.

 

[Mizzoufan]

I don't think it was rude.

 

[HM]

No, I don't think it's rude either. I would not expect to be sitting in a seat that I vacated if I hadn't left something there to demark my 'spot(s)' at a BBQ. It would have been nice if they had moved when you asked, but they weren't abliged to do so.

I wonder that your friends didn't sit down with you at the new table if you were in conversation with them?

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

No.

 

[BostonJP]

I'm thinking OP's not getting the reassurance she was hoping for when she posted this thread......

 

[lynxstch]

The Rule..just in case!

Yesterday, we had a church pitch in barbecue picnic after Mass. Before the meal was served (Father has to bless us and say grace before the meal), I was having a conversation with some of my friends. After the blessing, we went to stand in the serving line and continued to have a conversation with the original friends I was sitting with, and some other friends who were in line. My husband had gone home to pick up our son, and while I was in the serving line, he returned and got into the serving line at the end. We were seated at picnic tables in a shelter, which were adjacent to each other, making a long table which would seat about 20 people per side. When I returned to the table where I had been sitting, somebody had taken my place, but, there would still have been room for one person, but not both my husband and I. These were the same people who were sitting there before we left to get our food, they just had moved over after getting their food into the space where I had been sitting. There was room at the end of the table for two more. The people who had moved in were not in conversation with my friends, and I politely asked if they wouldn't mind moving down about 18 inches so there would be room for my husband to sit next to me. They replied, and correctly, that we could sit behind them at the next table, which I did. My friends weren't at the next table, but I was able to strike up a conversation with them while my husband got his meal. But, I thought that was rude not to move down just a little so others could sit with their family.

 

[wishesuponastar]

I'm wondering if her friends could have saved her seat when she got up?

 

[Julylady]

If you had left something lay like a bag or a blanket, I would think it was rude if they moved it. But how were they to know you planned on returning to the same spot? I wouldn't have given it a second thought.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

It was a little rude, but also assuming there would be room for somebody not yet there (saving a seat) is also kind of rude.

 

[meloneyb21]

Yes, something like that can be annoying, but it's not necessarily rude. I'm sure they didn't know you claimed that spot.

 

[Hrhpd]

You need an "other".

Let me see if I got this right...

You're sitting and talking to friends. Your DH isn't there. You get up to get your food (did your friends just sit there while you got your food?). When you returned, other people who were sitting next to you had moved into "your" space, not leaving room for both your DH & you. You asked them to move over and they suggested you sit at the next table.

Your DH wasn't with you when you returned to the table, correct? So how were they supposed to know you'd need room for him?

It seems a strange thing to get worked up about. And yes, I consider it "worked up" if you're posting on a message board the following day.

I am going to have to agree with this one.

They kept your spot available. How were they to know that your husband was returning? I would not expect people to 1) notice who I was having a conversation with so they can seat accordingly and 2) to save a spot for somebody who was not there and they would have no idea whether the person was returning or not.

 

[sam_gordon]

The Rule..just in case!

Look at post #2.

 

[leebee]

I'm not sure it was rude, but it definitely is annoying. They were there when you were there, so they knew where you were sitting. I guess they just liked your seat better than the ones they were in! Actually, although I find the action annoying, I think that them saying, "Well you can just sit over THERE" to be more rude. You'd been in the space, gone to get something, and they knew it. If you'd come back and asked me to move, I would have said something like, "Oh, sorry, I thought you were done," and then I'd have slid down. So I guess maybe, overall, it's a little rude, but mostly I'd say it's annoying!

 

[Kellykins1218]

Yes. I think asking people, who are eating, to move when there are open seats available is rude.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I do not know how long the OP had been sitting there. Or if there were any food or personal belongings there.
Did her friends that she was sitting with indicate that "Deliliah and her husband are sitting here".
We do need a little more info.

But, I am going to go against the consensus here, and say that, once they realized that this WAS where the OP had been sitting, and had intended to sit, that they couldn't manage to move their stuff back over a few inches??? It seemed to have been plenty enough space for them before she got back up for a moment.

I do tend to feel that people who encroach on others personal space can be a bit rude.

How many times have we read comments like this on the DIS.
People push and shove their way in on the Parade Route....
People set up their beach gear, on an uncrowded beach, RIGHT next to us.
People come into an uncrowded theater and choose to take the seat RiGHT next to us.
There are lot of people who will just brazenly take all the space they want, whether it is considerate or appropriate at all.

I feel that this might fall into that category.
And if it is anything like that, I have to agree with the OP.