Was this in bad taste, on my part?

[DVC Sadie]

I don't think you were out of line at all. Hopefully your mother will get some well deserved rest and not continue feeling so grumpy. She almost sounds as if she felt put upon somehow. Furthermore why would your brother want anyone else (including your mom) to drive them to the airport? We sure didn't need or even want anyone else when we went off on our honeymoon.

 

[maleficent1959]

I think you did the right thing. Yes, it was your brother's "special day" but an understanding and loving sibling would not be put out that his sister took her small tired kids home and put them to bed. Maybe I just am weird because I don't get all swept up the hoopla of a wedding. It's just one day. After 12 years it's my marriage that's important, not whether or not my BIL and SIL took their kids back early (which they did and I only remember because some of the family thought it was rude and complained but we didn't care).

Do you even know if your brother is upset? Of course, he may have had to hear about it from your mom all the way to the airport

 

[disneyjunkie]

I'm gonna side with my dear Deb here.

It was your brothers wedding and like it or not IMO blood relatives and the wedding party are required to stick it out to the bitter end. I definetely would have sent DH home with the kids.

My best friend got married 18 months ago, I was in the wedding. When my DS got tired, DH packed him up and returned to the hotel. I waited until it was over and then bowed out of the post wedding activities that the childless people were doing.

While I don't think your mother should have guilt tripped you (that is very rude IMO) I also don't see the harm in splitting up so you can do your family "duty" and your kids can get rest.

ETA - I also think that if your brother had a problem he should talk to you about it. It isn't your mom's place to 'create' problems between you and your brother over issues that may/may not exist.

I don't have siblings but I know my DH would have been hurt if his sister bailed out of his wedding early.

But I don't see where it is your mother's place to be mad at you especially about the cleaning up.

ITA

I never would have left my sister's wedding early. Heck, my aunts, uncles and cousins didn't even leave early.

I would have had husband take the kids home.

I think your mom is wrong to give you a hard time about this.

 

[missypie]

Your mom is wrong but she's in good company. At our wedding, my MIL told my husband (the groom!) that the nuts and mints were running low and made him go fill them up.

 

[Hannathy]

I have to side with the I don't think you should have left group. He is your only brother for heavens sake and the reception wasn't that late. If your children had to go home I think your DH should have taken them.(but I think they could have survived another hour) I would be hurt if my sister bailed on my wedding! If part of the deal with the hall was cleaning up I definately think you should have helped I can't imagine not helping in that case. What did your Brother say when you told him you were leaving?
I don't blame your Mom for being upset and saying something, I'm sure I would have in this case.

 

[PaulaSue]

Mothers
You totally did the right thing!

 

[AuntieM03]

Yikes, I am a baaaaaaaad sister. When my brother got married I was a bridesmaid and I cut out of the reception quite quickly. I was 16 and everyone else in the party was older and there was no receiving line or wedding party table. It was pretty casual. In December we did a week at WDW together so I guess I am forgiven

 

[diznygirl]

I don't think you did anything wrong. Everyone had to go home sometime. Ignore your mom - I'm sure she's a little flustered because her "baby" got married. She'll either get over it, or not. Either way, you can just keep ignoring her!

 

[pixiemomma]

I would ignore your mom. I'm sure your brother and new SIL thought nothing about it one way or the other and that your mom is just being cranky.

I agree with this 100%. You were not out of line.

 

[mickeyfan2]

You did fine.

 

[dolphinrescuegirl]

What is the big deal about mom taking them to the airport? We will have his parents take us to the airport because it is on their way home. Why take our car, leaveit in the parking lot at $30 a day for 10 days straight? Thats a lot of money to save! We are 25 and 28. I dont see the big deal. Every time we go to the airport we have someone take us and then when our friends need a ride to the airport we gladly take them. Plus our cloest airport is a 40 min drive and taxi fare would be outrageous. Please tell me why it is bad to have someone drive us to the airport

 

[Stacey2grls]

In my honest opinion it sounds like your mother is playing favorites, and expecting way too much of you. You have 2 small boys and only left an hour early, what's the big deal? You did all you could, I feel the problem is with your mother, she is seriously coddling your brother and his new wife.

 

[4nana]

((big hugs)) IMO, you went way above and beyond the call of duty for your brother's and SIL's special day. For pete's sake, you helped all day, the wedding started 45 minutes late, you stayed socializing till 7pm and you have 2 little ones to tend too !!! Your Mom was very inconsiderate to tell you 'she hopes you brother forgives you'! If your brother has an issue, then it's his place to tell you. I would not worry or feel guilty honey, I'm betting it's all a blur to him and SIL.

Better yet, 28yo newlyweds had their Mom and Dad get up at 6am and take them to the AP?!?!

 

[Mermaid02]

It was a wedding, not a hostage situation. The OP had the right to leave whenever she wanted to. I doubt your brother and his bride cared one way or the other. Your mother will get over it (or not) I wouldn't worry about it. Hey, why not do something nice for them like get eggs, milk and bread... and something easy for dinner when they return from their honeymoon? If you have a key to their place I bet they'd appreciate it!

 

[va32h]

You would think two people who had just gotten married would have more romantic and/or personal things to think about than watching the clock and seeing who left when!

I may be in the midst of marital trouble now, but I can remember being a bride. On my wedding day, my thoughts were for my new husband and our future happiness, not keeping notes about who arrived when and how long they stayed.

I think it is very silly and petty to complain because your sister wanted to take her tired and cranky children home after a very long day.

I had a similar situation when my SIL got married. My dd, who was 4 at the time, was the flower girl. The reception was on a boat, and the boat was supposed to cruise around a harbor for three hours after dinner. Well dinner was late, daughter was cranky, hungry, and tired (it was going on 9 pm by this time), and I didn't want to find myself trapped on a boat with a miserable child for three hours. So I politely excused myself from the reception, and took dd back to the hotel. It was an uproar. How dare I take a member of the wedding party away in the middle of the reception! The bride wanted a picture of her little flower girl dancing with the groom.

Get a grip, folks. Weddings should be about celebrating happiness and love, not toting up a list of who did what for whom and who followed what rules, or posing for pretty pictures, or bringing some fantasy to life. If, at the end of the day, the bride and groom are married, to each other, the wedding has been a success.

If your mom doesn't think so, she can stuff it!

 

[Brianne]

If your brother had a problem with it, he should be the one speaking to you about it--not your mother. If she's telling the truth, it's a very P/A way of going about it; however, I suspect she's making it a bigger problem than it really was.

 

[Lanshark]

I think what you did was actually very considerate. Parents should know their kids limits and try not to push them past. Had the kids stayed and caused a scene then I would tell you that you should have been more considerate and taken them home.

You did what was best for your children and I'd say that you owe noone any justifications, rationalizations or apologies. Mom was out of line.

Actually, I believe it is in bad taste to ask your guests to setup and cleanup.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think Mom may have a bigger problem with whatever it is she thinks you did than brother & new SIL did. Her baby got married, she's all in a fuss.

I'd let it lie. I owuldn't say a word to anyone about it at all.

 

[ZachnElli]

Not only do I think your mom is wrong, but I did the exact same thing at my own brother's wedding! My mom didn't have a problem with it, well if she did, she didn't say anything! Some slight differences, I was a bridesmaid, DS was 7 weeks old, nursing and colicky! I think my sil was a little put off that I changed out of the bridesmaid dress before the reception, but there was no way I could nurse DS in that thing! He did great right up until the priest said a prayer before dinner (a little more formal than your brother's) and the colic set in and he started screaming! Screaming and screaming. We left. It was a big reception lots of dancing, cutting the cake, the whole bit. I missed it all. But what could I do? My brother was a little miffed, but since they had a honeymoon baby, he forgave me just 10 months later!

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Your mom was wrong.

I left my brother's wedding reception early. I had a 2 week old and a 2 year old. Besides, it's the bride's family that cleans up after the reception.

Lori