Was I wrong?

[lovemylife]

Here is a little dilema I have right now.

My DH is working 3rd shift this week. He got home at 7:20 and went to bed around 7:30. I had to leave at 7:45 to take my DS to school and it was my morning for volunteering. My DS gets done at 11:15. Well, at 10:30 the front office said that the lunch lady was sick and was wondering if I could finish lunch duty (I am her only substitute). I said that was fine, done it many times already.

Now here is my question. I didn't call my DH's cell phone because he was suppose to be asleep, like he normally is, until 3:30 or so. We get home at 12:45 from school when I work. Apparently, the dog wouldn't let him sleep this morning because she was whining, etc. My DH went on a yelling rampage at me because he hadn't slept yet and I never called him to tell him that I was working. I don't feel that I should have had to call since he was normally sleeping at that time and what difference was it going to make. I think that he should have closed the bedroom door and ignored the dog. I had already taken her out for potty before I left and she is normally good for many hours.

Who do you think is right here? I am okay with being told that I was wrong too. Just want opinions.

Thanks.

 

[AKL_Megs]

My DH works nights.

It sounds like your DH was simply upset that he wasn't able to sleep, and was taking it out on you.

No, you were in no way obligated to call him and wake him from sleep to tell him that you wouldn't be home while he was sleeping.

I NEVER call my DH before 3pm unless it is an absolute emergency. He gets MAD if I wake him for no reason.

If he needed you there to tend to the dog, he should have called YOU. YOU thought he was sleeping.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I don't think you were wrong. You were trying to be considerate. I think your DH was wrong for yelling at you, but he probably was tired.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Not wrong. I would not call a sleeping man either. Why didn't he call you?

 

[lovemylife]

He did call me after 11:30 when I would normally have been home, but I was serving lunch at that time and was extremely busy and had no time to take a call.

 

[Heidict]

I agree with the others. You shouldn't have called him because normally he would have been asleep and then he probably would have been upset with you for waking him.

If the dog was such a problem, then he should have called you to see where you where.

I can understand why he was upset. I have worked graveyard before and it's frustrating to not be able to sleep when you finally get home. Hopefully, you will get a good apology when he wakes up.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

Sounds to me like a situation where you couldn't win. What's the saying blank if you do, blank if you don't??

You call and wake him up = cranky husband

You don't call and dog wakes him up = cranky husband

I would have done exactly what you did.

 

[yoopermom]

My DH works thirds, and I turn off the ringers on the house phones, and turn his cell phone off from 8 am until whenever he gets up. His bedroom door gets closed, and the house dogs are either crated (in a far room) or a baby gate blocks them from getting to his door. He wears earplugs, light blocking curtains in the bedroom windows, white noise machine, etc.

I'm sure he was exhausted, but that's no excuse for taking it out on you.

Terri

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I think he was wrong for going on a "rampage" and perhaps not following up with you...

And you were wrong for not notifying him of a change in plans.

A simple text message would have sufficed--or if there is a way to call voice mail directly so that he didn't get awaken.

I don't want to read too much into your relationship. But it sounds as though you guys are stressed as he very much overreacted.

Gotta go with, you both could have done better on this one.

 

[Diva of Dragons]

Yelling rampages are never right! You did what was logical and he way overreacted.

 

[happygirl]

I would have called or texted him. Just in case he would have woke up to go the restroom or what not. That way he wouldn't have been worried. He shouldn't have yelled at you.

 

[Bluestars]

In that situation, I would not have called either. When my husband has to work late and sleeps in the next morning, I never call him because I don't want to wake him up. I think your husband was upset and took it out on you.

 

[tiggerlover]

My husband worked shift work for many years and I would not have called him, because like you, I would of assumed he was sleeping. I am sure his frustration and rampage were from lack of sleep, although that does not excuse his behavior it would certainly explain it. I think after he has slept and you explain your side he may see your point.

 

[surfergirl602]

He was "supposed" to be asleep, so what difference would it have made what time you got home? The way I look at it, you and your kiddo weren't home to create distracting noise that could have woken him up. He should have just let the dog out, or put it somewhere and gone to sleep. Him not being able to sleep is NOT your fault. He's totally in the wrong for this one and shouldn't have taken his grumpiness out on you.

 

[Chelley00]

I send my husband a text if I'm going to be late coming home just in case he wakes up and goes downstairs and I'm not here he will worry, but because he wears earplugs, runs a fan and white noise, he doesn't hear the text buzzer.

I think maybe your DH needs to figure out ways to block daytime noise if he's going to be on third shift

 

[kacaju]

I think your dh was wrong. My dh worked midnights many years ago (pre cell phones) and I never would have called him to tell him I was staying out later. As you said, he should have been sleeping.

 

[bumbershoot]

I'm sure he was just crazed from a lack of sleep. And he might have been worried about you as well.

If you have a texting package, maybe you guys can work out a plan where he turns the volume on the cell down, so it doesn't wake him, but he can see that you texted when he wakes or if he can't sleep at all. Win-win.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

He's wrong, no need for yelling. Not for nothing, but I've worked the nightshift many times and dealt with the dog in the morning. Also, I have no idea why a grown woman needs to report her whereabouts in the middle of the day, good grief. You could have just stopped off at the grocery, for a manicure, shoe shopping, a park, museum, who knows what. It's not like you were staying out till all hours of the night.

 

[dislaney]

Your right - he's wrong but I would give him a break since he's probably just tired.

 

[momof1princess]

my DH is working 3rd shift this week too, and there's NO way i'd call home while he's sleeping. he was wrong to yell at you. i hope you get an apology when he wakes up.