Warm & Fuzzy for *********** (pun)

[dwbakerjr]

OK, ***********, you specifically asked for this little anecdote, so direct your complaints elsewhere, pleez...

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While doing scientific study deep in the Amazon rainforest, an ecology research scientist name Fred Hooper was thrilled to find a rare species. An animal so incredibly rare that noone had ever had one in captivity. Only occasional sightings had been reported of the small, rotund, furry little creature, commonly referred to as a Rarie. And now, Fred would have one back in his lab.

Unfortunately (boy, that word pops up a lot in these stories), the scientist was pretty much a hard boiled cynic, and only wanted the animal for scientific study, and was not interested in the creature’s warmth toward all who were around it.

Also, over the next few weeks in captivity, Fred was shocked to discover the volume of food the (not so little anymore) creature consumed each day. It would awaken, eat a huge volume of fruits and grains, and then return to slumber. The cost of feeding the Rarie was bankrupting the laboratory. Fred, not being the warm and friendly type, decided to ‘end’ the scientific study, and injected the Rarie with a toxin that would ‘put it to sleep’ forever.

The injection (enough to kill an elephant) had no effect. So Fred decided to use ether over its face until it would breathe (and eat) no more. That didn’t work either. Cynical Fred was becoming a bit un-amused, and decided that brute force would be necessary. He brought a dump truck to the lab, and had the Rarie (still sleeping) put in the back of the truck. He then drove to the edge of a huge precipice, and prepared to raise the bed, and allow the creature to fall out and to his end.

OK, don’t panic folks; this has a happy ending.

Just as he was about allow the furry, not-so-little creature to roll off the truck, something happened that made the creature much more valuable than he had ever dreamed. It never occurred to him that this species could communicate with the human race. The furry animal awoke in time to look over the edge of the cliff, and turned with a tear in his eye, and SPOKE sadly to Fred, and said…..

(oy…)

“It’s a long way to tip a Rarie…”

 

[ckr4905]

oh man, when they are bad , they are......

not bad..

(?)...

 

[nativetxn]

*groan*

 

[SuiteDisney]

There was a married couple in London who didn't get to spend much time together. By the time the husband to and from work every day and worked all day (and sometimes weekends), they didn't seem to get to spend any quality time together and the wife was getting lonely.

The husband decided that what his wife needed was a pet to keep her company during the day while he was at work. The only problem was that they lived in a small flat so it would have to be a small pet. So the husband went to the pet store to look around. He looked at the puppies and kitties and budgies, but nothing appealed to him. Finally, the shop keeper said that he had the perfect pet and led the husband over to a cage. Inside was a little animal, all covered with fur. "What is it," the husband asked?

"This, my friend, is the answer to all your problems," the shop keeper told him. "It's so rare, it's called a Rarie, and it can hold a complete conversation with you."

Well, the husband thought the Rarie would be perfect. He bought it and took it home to his wife. She loved it! She would talk to the Rarie every day and she was happier than she had been in a long time. Life was great!

But what the shop keeper didn't tell them was that a Rarie doubles in size every six months.

They went from a small flat to a large flat... to a house... to a farm, and the Rarie was so big that he slept in the barn.... AND... he was due to double in size again.

The husband was at the end of his rope, he couldn't take any more. So he rented a lorry, loaded the Rarie in the back, drove to the White Cliffs of Dover, and backed the lorry up to the edge. He opened the back door.

The Rarie looked down and said, "Well, I say, guv'nor, are you going to push me over?"

The husband said, "I have to. I don't know what to do with you. You're eating us out of house and home, you're due to grow again, and there's no place for you. My wife loves you, but we have no other options"

The Rarie looked down and said, "Well, I say, guv'nor, how far would you say it is down there?"

The husband said, "It's pretty far. I think it's around 1000 feet down."

The Rarie looked down again and then looked at the man and said, "Well, I say, gov'nor, isn't that a long way to tip a Rarie?"

 

[olena]

 

[JulesMom]

 

[Disney845]

ok guys...don't think I am stupid...my brain just isn't working today..... I can not for the life of me get this pun....I know it must be the "tip a rarie" line, but I have said it over and over to myself and can not make out what it is supposed to be saying. (best I can come up with is temporary, but know that doesn't make sense) Could someone please enlighten me as I hang my head down in the shame of it all!

 

[SuiteDisney]

It's from a WW1 song:

Up to mighty London came
An Irish lad one day,
All the streets were paved with gold,
So everyone was gay!
Singing songs of Piccadilly,
Strand, and Leicester Square,
'Til Paddy got excited and
He shouted to them there:

It's a long way to Tipperary,
It's a long way to go.
It's a long way to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know!
Goodbye Piccadilly,
Farewell Leicester Square!
It's a long long way to Tipperary,
But my heart's right there.

Paddy wrote a letter
To his Irish Molly O',
Saying, "Should you not receive it,
Write and let me know!
If I make mistakes in "spelling",
Molly dear", said he,
"Remember it's the pen, that's bad,
Don't lay the blame on me".

It's a long way to Tipperary,
It's a long way to go.
It's a long way to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know!
Goodbye Piccadilly,
Farewell Leicester Square,
It's a long long way to Tipperary,
But my heart's right there.

Molly wrote a neat reply
To Irish Paddy O',
Saying, "Mike Maloney wants
To marry me, and so
Leave the Strand and Piccadilly,
Or you'll be to blame,
For love has fairly drove me silly,
Hoping you're the same!"

It's a long way to Tipperary,
It's a long way to go.
It's a long way to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know!
Goodbye Piccadilly,
Farewell Leicester Square,
It's a long long way to Tipperary,
But my heart's right there.

Extra Verse, From World War One

That's the wrong way to tickle Mary,
That's the wrong way to kiss!
Don't you know that over here, lad,
They like it best like this!
Hooray pour le Francais!
Farewell, Angleterre!
We didn't know the way to tickle Mary,
But we learned how, over there!

 

[Disney845]

Oh..... .....thanks!!

 

[dwbakerjr]

wow ( a reeeeal wow..)

That was an impressive show of trivia S.D.....