Waiting in long lines

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I'm not going to address the spanking vs. non-spanking issue because that wasn't the original topic. However I will say that there are other children in line. If your DD isn't shy I'm sure she can strike up a conversation with the child next to her. My DD5 is an only child and she just chats with the kid next to her when DH or I are boring her. While I don't let her strike up conversations with complete strangers at the local mall, a little chat in the que line at WDW with both parents next to her is acceptable. She knows the difference.

I do love the cards/reward idea. That's great!

 

[princessh]

I use a lot of positve reinforcement with my children and my daycare children. I always make a huge deal over good behavior. I would priase her when you see her being patient and not whinning. Kids at that age are always wanting to please you. 9 times out of 10, if you priase them for the good behavior they will keep it up! Hopes this helps!

 

[Jalva22]

Just chiming in... you must make time for a break in the middle of the day. It will help your child stay rested and will also allow you to avoid the busiest times in the parks. My advice is to be at the parks as early as possible, use fastpass, use a touring plan from the UG, and have plenty of downtime. Don't expect to see everything! And if you're standing in a long line and she complains that she's tired and her legs hurt, then she's probably tired and her legs probably do hurt. It's a big place after all. Be respectful of her needs and give her some downtime before punishing her for not having the stamina of an older child.

It is unreasonable to expect a 4 year old child to understand an hour long wait in line. If all she's doing is asking how long until it's our turn over and over, she's probably handling it better than most of the adults around her!

 

[jdk5672]

When my daughter was small, she had a stopwatch that she used to time things. Somehow, having the watch made the wait time more interesting. We also counted people in line, counted people wearing Mickey shirts, planned our next stops, etc. As long as we were "doing" something instead of waiting the time flew by. Distraction works so much better than punishment.

I liked the idea about reward cards. You could incorporate something similiar using the watch such as a disney sticker on her shirt for each 5 minutes of good behavior waiting with a certain number of stickers earning a small treat. (Even something as small as a lollipop from the fanny pack is worth working for).

Also, for my daughter praise worked wonders.. "You've waited so nicely for 5 whole minutes I'm so proud of you" would get me another 10 minutes. Children truly want to please. We just sometimes forget that we need to recognize their good behavior so much more than their "bad" behavior.

It's work to provide the distractions, rewards, and praise, but it certainly pays off in the long run, not only for the present moment such as getting through the line peacefully, but in helping them learn to control their own behavior as they grow.

 

[belle_of_the_ball]

There are alot of little kids at disney and probably in the same line as you. The bubbles, bring more than one. Chances are the little kid in front will want to play too. The laminated card way is good too. Just make sure its something your kid likes. If she hates icecream but loves lollipops do something with that. One way my parents kept me under control when I was 5 was Disney Dollars. They gave me 3 dollars a day, each time AI complained about a line i got one dollar taken away. On the first day I lost all three dollars and soon learned. At the end of the trip I was left with spending money and a lesson in patience. Also dont use FASTPASS for theater attractions chances are, the lines will empty out fast because of the size of the theaters.

 

[jzmom]

When I took my DD to Legoland when she was two and a half. (We didn't go to Disneyland because I wanted my husband there for her first trip) We waited in lines for over an hour! She did remarkably well. I think being at an amusement park is different than waiting in line at the bank. I also had lots of snacks on hand.

 

[S. C.]

I think there are several factors going for your daughter..her age being one. Not that it excuses any behavior issues , but it does help to put it in some context. Yes, our roll as parents is to guide and teach, love and nuture..I believe we do that largely by example..expecting No misbehaving and the punishment being a spanking, IMHO is completely inappropriate response.

Keep in mind when kids are at WDW it is very overstimulating...not to mention adding the factor of being utterly and completely excited about the experience. Given this, kids may even have less patience then before. I think that setting clear expectations before you go to the park is a great idea. If she completely melts down ...take a break...go back to the resort/leave ..find a quite place to sit and spend some time together. I think that taking items to help pass the time you are in line is also great. I plan on taking bubbles and other small toys to help pass the time. Use a fast pass when you can. If the line is really long, explain to you daughter that if she really wants to go on the ride that she will have to wait..and it might be awhile...give her the option as to whether or not she wants to wait. Once in line, if it becomes too much, you can always look for a CM and ask them to show you the way out.

Take your cues from your daughter, don't try to put too much into one day. Try to hit the most popular rides during the early hrs b/4 the park gets to crazy.

Most of all remember that this is suppossed to be a fun and wonderful experience. Does this mean you don't redirect and consequence misbehavior when appropriate....NO...but it means that you look at the situation from the eyes of your child and you try to provide the direction she needs in a loving and caring manner.

Wishing you a wonderful trip.....

edited to add: I really like the suggestion of the positives being given too!! And yes..follow through is essential..if you say it, you must be willing to follow though and do it!

here is a website with some cool age specific activities too
http://www.momsminivan.com/

ITA

 

[tiff211]

Lots of positve reinforcements, lots a snacks, lots of patience and laminated cards!! Thanks for all the great advice, she may not want the line to end

 

[hokiefan33]

hitting in love? hitting is violent and doesn't teach anything except it is ok to hurt someone when you don't like their behavior. there are so many more positive ways to discipline children.

Look, spanking is obviously a hot topic. And personally, I couldn't give a rat's rear end what any of you think about it, nor do I care whether you do it or not. They're your children, not mine, and you have to live with them, not me. I love my kids very much, and further, they know that I do. But they also know what lines they can and cannot cross, and exactly what will happen if they do. Am I violent when I do it? No. But they feel it, and they know I mean business. And they always know exactly what they are being spanked for and exactly why they are in trouble. I could care less what you think "hitting" does or does not teach. I don't know what kind of mental image you have when you think of spanking, but it is not an enraged father who is horse-whipping his children. Maybe that's the conception you have, I don't know, nor do I care. But a "spanking" is not the same as "hitting" a child, the way that you mean it. "Hitting" is what I would like to do to some of the parents who DO "hit" their children, rather than spank them, b/c at that point, you're right, it is bad. I wouldn't mind also telling some parents who just don't realize why little Johnny just can't behave, when all they've ever tried to do is have positive reinforcement, why he acts the way he does, but a lot of parents are a little too much into the nature-y, love him don't discipline him, let him make his own choices kind of parenting mode, what I like to call artsy-fartsy. But whatever floats your boat. I can't wait to see all the SAHM's have a field day with that scenario!!!

So, bottom line, do whatever you want to in a long line. You'll do it your way, and I'll do it mine, and we'll all live.

 

[KimWDW]

I think you might be pleasantly surprised. There's a difference between waiting in line for something boring with no payoff at the end (the bank, post office) and waiting in line for something really cool (a ride!). Plus, there's so much to look at. You might not have a problem at all!

But, if you do end up with a problem, I agree think the time-out rule is the best way to go. If she whines, give her one warning and say if you don't stop, we'll get out of line and you'll miss this ride. She does it again, you must follow through. Take her out of line and sit on a bench while someone else (DH maybe) gets to ride the ride. That will probably only happen once and she won't do it again (unless she's tired or hungry, which is understandable at that age anyway). I definitely disagree with spanking, IMO, but I think the time-out advice was spot on for this.

Another thing you might want to consider is ramping up to WDW. Are there any carnivals or amusement parks near you you could take her to before your trip? That way, she gets used to lines before you even go. Even if it's just waiting her turn for those rides that take coins at the mall.

Good luck and have fun!

 

[Jacksmom99]

hokiefan33:

I'm sorry, I know it's a heated debated, but my fingers just won't stop typing..... Spanking is 'short-cut' parenting. It's the easy way out, short, immediate, negative reinforcement. The child only behaves out of FEAR yes FEAR of punishment (ie, pain and hummiliation). If you want to raise your child that way, fine that's you. I strongly object. It takes much more time and effort to give a child a time out, explain the rules again and again if necessary, follow through on consequences, and develop good, positive reinforcement models that actually teach a good behavior. Positive reinforecement or what you might call 'artstey fartsey' parenting actually teaches a child to replace a bad or inappropriate behavior with an approrpiate one. Spanking teaches fear, not appropriate behavior.

BTW, I'm not a SAHM, but have a Master's Degree in Education. I do however, think that you were insulting to all the SAHMs out there.

 

[metta4]

Lots of positve reinforcements, lots a snacks, lots of patience and laminated cards!! Thanks for all the great advice, she may not want the line to end

hehehe....I just want to wish you the best trip ever!!!! Keep your expectations realistic and have fun...most of all.

 

[Lollipop Mom]

I just wanted to add the suggestion of registering for TourGuideMIKE. I have a 4 year old (or as he says " I am ALMOST 5, I am NOT 4 anymore!") who is the same way with lines. He's a very well behaved and polite kid but he'll ask "how many more minutes?" over and over and over. He knows that the standard answer Mom gives is "I know it's hard to be patient and wait when you are 4 but this is how things work. You have a choice, we can stand in this line and wait our turn for Peter Pan or we can get out of line and not get to go on the ride. Which do you want?" (he's such a Disney nut his answer is usually "but why can't we have a fast pass so we don't stand in line? )

Anyway...I'd highly recommend TGM. We've used it on 4 trips now...2 Christmas week, 1 end of spring break (last week of April) and once in October. The longest we've waited for anything was 10 minutes. Going through most of the morning with no waits to speak of (as in under 5 minutes) makes it easier. When we do have a 10 minute wait he hasn't spent all morning waiting so it makes things much more tolerable. I can get away with counting Mickey shirts or eye spy or "what was your favorite thing so far? what should we do next?" sort of things in a 10 minute wait. During an hour long wait that's hard to do.

 

[CleveRocks]

hokiefan33:

I'm sorry, I know it's a heated debated, but my fingers just won't stop typing..... Spanking is 'short-cut' parenting. It's the easy way out, short, immediate, negative reinforcement.
BTW, I'm not a SAHM, but have a Master's Degree in Education.

OUCH! A Master's degree in Education and you think spanking is negative reinforcement? What are they teaching you? Spanking is an example of punishment. Negative reinforcement increases the target behavior through the REMOVAL or AVOIDANCE of a noxious stimulus. I'm NOT advocating this, but an example of negative reinforcement would be, "You'd better stand still and talk nicely or you'll be spanked (or be taken out of line, etc.)."

I'm sorry, I'm really not trying to be harsh, but I just can't silently stand by when people identify themselves as knowledgable but then provide incorrect information. I know this is not exactly in the Disney spirit, but I haven't been there in 12 years (and even that wasn't for fun, it was for a conference) and I PROMISE I'll feel (and act) a lot better after I get back from WDW next month!!!

By the way, all my professional education and experience still makes me a pretty dumb Dad whose 2 preschoolers outsmart him on most days. In my late 30s as a new Dad, I learned VERY quickly that, at least for me, there's a HUGE difference between helping to guide others through their issues and dealing with my own day-to-day life. I always say to my clients that it's easy for me to comment, etc. because in relation to their lives I'm "sitting in the cheap seats" rather than being on the playing field with them.

-- Eric

 

[epcotfan]

I agree with Ducklite's suggestions. Straight and to the point.

Regarding bubbles: Some people have skin allergies to them. They also leave stains on certain fabrics and are a slippery mess if spilled. Out in an open space is fine, but I don't think it is appropriate in a narrow queue full of other people.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Regarding bubbles: Some people have skin allergies to them. They also leave stains on certain fabrics and are a slippery mess if spilled. Out in an open space is fine, but I don't think it is appropriate in a narrow queue full of other people.

I agree about the bubbles. I think there fine while you're waiting for a parade. However, it would drive me nuts if someone started blowing bubbles in a crowded line.

Most of the kids in the area may want to try to catch and pop them. Someone's bound to get pushed or hit. I'm sure 90% of the people wouldn't mind, but there's always that small percent that will get upset.

 

[hokiefan33]

hokiefan33:

I'm sorry, I know it's a heated debated, but my fingers just won't stop typing..... Spanking is 'short-cut' parenting. It's the easy way out, short, immediate, negative reinforcement. The child only behaves out of FEAR yes FEAR of punishment (ie, pain and hummiliation). If you want to raise your child that way, fine that's you. I strongly object. It takes much more time and effort to give a child a time out, explain the rules again and again if necessary, follow through on consequences, and develop good, positive reinforcement models that actually teach a good behavior. Positive reinforecement or what you might call 'artstey fartsey' parenting actually teaches a child to replace a bad or inappropriate behavior with an approrpiate one. Spanking teaches fear, not appropriate behavior.

BTW, I'm not a SAHM, but have a Master's Degree in Education. I do however, think that you were insulting to all the SAHMs out there.

Personally, I think time outs are short-cut parenting. Ask a lot of old folks how they were punished when they were little, and they will probably NOT tell you it was by a time-out! There's a good chance they were spanked. I guess that's why the 50s were so bad, compared to the 80s or 90s or even today. Wait...what am I thinking? The 50s weren't bad - today is bad! The top problems in school back then (when corporal punishment was still allowed) were chewing gum or dress code violations, instead of guns, fights, rape and violence in the schools today. Kids had respect for their parents and authority in general, unlike today.

You say what you want (SAHM or not, which by the way I think is great and have no problem with, but it seems like many of you think you have parenting down to a science and can do no wrong), but the fact that we're more worried about our kids' feelings and psyches rather than their attitudes is a lot of the problem. Spanking doesn't take that into effect. It simply punishes, quickly and directly and not real painfully, an action that is not correct, to let the child know that that action will not be accepted.

Like I said, I could give a rat's rear end what anyone else thinks about it, b/c I don't have to live with your kids. And that's the last you'll hear from me on the subject.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Hokie,

Love your post and agee 100%!

 

[kdtwiss]

do you still plan on spanking your children when they are 13, 15, etc.?
If spanking is all you got - you better figure something else out. I don't thik a spanking is too scary too a 15 year old.

Try this out i your head.
Your child hits aother child.
You - spank your child - ad tell them -no hitting!

WHAT?
hitting childre is unacceptable. HITTING, spanking whatever is UNACCEPTABLE behavior - how do you expect to teach your child right from wrong if the very core of your "discipline" is what YOU would consider unacceptable behavior in them?

 

[Jacksmom99]

OUCH! A Master's degree in Education and you think spanking is negative reinforcement? What are they teaching you? Spanking is an example of punishment. Negative reinforcement increases the target behavior through the REMOVAL or AVOIDANCE of a noxious stimulus. I'm NOT advocating this, but an example of negative reinforcement would be, "You'd better stand still and talk nicely or you'll be spanked (or be taken out of line, etc.)."

I'm sorry, I'm really not trying to be harsh, but I just can't silently stand by when people identify themselves as knowledgable but then provide incorrect information. I know this is not exactly in the Disney spirit, but I haven't been there in 12 years (and even that wasn't for fun, it was for a conference) and I PROMISE I'll feel (and act) a lot better after I get back from WDW next month!!!

By the way, all my professional education and experience still makes me a pretty dumb Dad whose 2 preschoolers outsmart him on most days. In my late 30s as a new Dad, I learned VERY quickly that, at least for me, there's a HUGE difference between helping to guide others through their issues and dealing with my own day-to-day life. I always say to my clients that it's easy for me to comment, etc. because in relation to their lives I'm "sitting in the cheap seats" rather than being on the playing field with them.

-- Eric

Well Eric, you did sound harsh to me. Yes, I know the difference but I didn't feel it necessary to give an entire lesson on neg. reinforcement, vs. punishment, vs. positive reinforcement here on the Dis. I really wanted to point out how positive reinforcement takes a lot more time and effort than a whack on the butt, and that it it actuaclly TEACHING an appropriate behavior. Anyway, I'm done now. My head is going to explode from this topic.