Vow renewals

[mebbradley]

There is a huge difference between being legally married and having a wedding.

I agree. BIG difference to some people. I'm one of those people who see it as two different things.

 

[luv2sleep]

If you are legally married, you had a "real wedding."

Nope. I got married. I actually didn't have a wedding. Not to me anyway. I think a vow renewal would be lovely for anyone who wants to do it. I love the start above about the couple who did it at 25 and then 50 years. What a great way to celebrate such awesome milestones!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

My parents just had a vie renewal for their 50th. They invited a few of their friends. My brother and I both said a few words about what our parents mean to us. My parents reaffirmed their love for each other in front of friends and family. And then my parents provided a big meal for everyone that came. They declined all presents but if someone insisted, they requested it be in the form of a donation to a disabled church member with no family and no known history.

It was inspirational to those of us there, to see a couple come through so many obstacles and not just still be married, but still be in love. If you don't get it, that's fine. Vows don't have an expiration date. But it can be a beautiful and inspirational display of love and devotion.

One caveat - I think having it after 5 or 10 years and inviting tons of people is overkill. If you want to do something privately, fine. But after 10 years people probably remember your first wedding and you kind of look like an attention hog.

 

[cabanafrau]

Personally I have no desire for a vow renewal. Of course, I was a bride who merely tolerated the most minimal wedding party while still satisfying the wishes of some very close family of DH and myself, so maybe I'm not the target audience.

I really have zero interest in attending the vow renewals of anybody else, particularly when they begin moving it into the realm of their wedding 2.0. There are very limited reasons I would ever consider attending such an event and I don't know anybody personally these reasons apply to, so I think I'm safe at the moment.

Anniversary party? Fine. Cannot wrap my brain around why long-term married couples need an audience viewing them repeating their vows. Seems too attention-seeking to me. If it makes the couple happy and their family & friends would enjoy attending, I hope everyone has a wonderful time. It's just a concept that's lost on me apparently.

 

[pigletgirl]

I went to one, where big bucks was spent. I was amazed. There was also 200 people there, so basically a second wedding. For now, its not something I feel we need to do, but if we do decide to do a vow renewal, it'll be a small and intimate ceremony. And that would be years and years down the road, after our family is complete (which we're no where near, yet).

 

[diz8297]

Personally I have no desire for a vow renewal. Of course, I was a bride who merely tolerated the most minimal wedding party while still satisfying the wishes of some very close family of DH and myself, so maybe I'm not the target audience.

I really have zero interest in attending the vow renewals of anybody else, particularly when they begin moving it into the realm of their wedding 2.0. There are very limited reasons I would ever consider attending such an event and I don't know anybody personally these reasons apply to, so I think I'm safe at the moment.

Anniversary party? Fine. Cannot wrap my brain around why long-term married couples need an audience viewing them repeating their vows. Seems too attention-seeking to me. If it makes the couple happy and their family & friends would enjoy attending, I hope everyone has a wonderful time. It's just a concept that's lost on me apparently.

You took the words right out of my mouth. I guess if someone didn't have the opportunity to wear the gown, veil, etc for the original, I could understand the desire, but otherwise.....I don't get it.

 

[RayaniFoxmur]

We plan on doing one but its mainly because our religion has changed drastically and we'd like a ceremony reflecting that. It will be small, intimate and something just for us. Our original vows haven't stopped working, we'd just like to make another set of them under a different religion.

 

[Fire14]

I have thought of doing one. DH and I have been thru a lot and I didn't really get to have a celebration. I want to do it on DCL or at WDW just few friends and maybe my dad if he'd come to FL.

 

[runsandjumps]

My husband is planning something like a vow renewal for us for our anniversary. We were so young when we got married that I would at least like some pictures of me in a gown and him in a tux. I don't want a bunch of people there.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Vow Renewal is not for everyone. Some people love it and some people don't.

My parents did it for their 25th and again at their 50th.

If you are not into romance please skip the rest of this post.

On our 24th anniv I woke up to 24 red roses on my dinning room table and 24 balloons in my living room. During the day their were other presents. Dh told me that their would be 24 presents to celebrate the day.

The last present was a lenox box that said "Happy 25th" When I opened it up there a note inside that said "Will you marry me again?"

We renewed our vows the following year with just immediate family and friends in our back yard. It was lovely.

With so many divorced couple we should be celebrating when marriages last for 25 or 50 years.

I love it, how romantic!

 

[hellow]

I had a college instructor this summer who had been married for 40+ years and she said she always told everyone that she has been married 7 times--to the same person. With just their family, they have had a mini-ceremony at special places over the years. She said her last one was on the USS Enterprise in Vegas. I thought that was pretty cute.

 

[njcarita]

lol..we toyed with the idea for out 20th.............. and we started looking at places this year for out 25th.............. and than honestly decided why the heck would i want to go thru wedding stress again.... our first wedding when we were 23 was HUGE.......we went on a 3 week honeymoon it ..........etc........... so i sat down with my husband and we havent been thru life dramas or ups and downs...... we are still in love.... and have 3 great kids at home...... so maybe we will plan a trip....... honestly dont see the need to renew our vows......they are still good...lol

 

[kaligal]

Marriage is for life. There is no reason to renew.

But if people want to quietly renew their vows...without involving others, as if it were a wedding and without treating it as an occasion where they should receive a gift, it is fine with me and none of my concern.

When they start issuing invitations to their anniversary, like it is an event for OTHERS or expecting gifts for not getting divorced, I take exception.

 

[LSmith]

I had a college instructor this summer who had been married for 40+ years and she said she always told everyone that she has been married 7 times--to the same person. With just their family, they have had a mini-ceremony at special places over the years. She said her last one was on the USS Enterprise in Vegas. I thought that was pretty cute.

Cute. Reminds me of Seal and Heidi Klum.

 

[Ember]

Marriage is for life. There is no reason to renew.

But if people want to quietly renew their vows...without involving others, as if it were a wedding and without treating it as an occasion where they should receive a gift, it is fine with me and none of my concern.

When they start issuing invitations to their anniversary, like it is an event for OTHERS or expecting gifts for not getting divorced, I take exception.

I agree with this.

I have no problem with a couple doing whatever the heck they want - when it's just them. If two people want to dress up every year and say their vows over and over, it's no skin off my nose. If it makes them feel connected and happy, that's great.

At a significant milestone anniversary, if done tastefully, a public vow renewal can be quite sweet. My grandparents did one at 50 years. It took about 5 minutes and then their family and friends shared a lovely dinner.

But I find "second-wedding" vow renewals to be self-trumpeting and unnecessary. If what you really want is a big audience, then you aren't doing it for the romance, you're doing it for the attention. I honestly have no issues with playing dress up, but expecting everyone to fawn over you and pretend you're a bride again is (in my opinion) a step too far. I'm also totally with the poster above, I'm not rewarding anyone for managing to not get divorced.

 

[powellrj]

Cute. Reminds me of Seal and Heidi Klum.

That was who I thought of too.

 

[dogluva]

Cute. Reminds me of Seal and Heidi Klum.

Or Kate and Jon.

 

[Ember]

Cute. Reminds me of Seal and Heidi Klum.

Or Kate and Jon.

Both couples are divorced now... But I doubt that has anything to do with their renewals so much as the host of other problems. The lesson to be learned is that a vow renewal does not solve marital issues.

 

[hellow]

I was thinking that too. I have to admit I read about William Shatner doing a vow renewal and then a year later was divorced so that is why I have shied away from wanting to do a big vow renewal with my husband (of 28 years ) I don't want to jinx anything--stupid I know.

 

[WDWJDS]

Hubby and I have talked about repeating our wedding ceremony at our 20th or 25th anniversary. Yup, I want a gorgeous gown (maybe Wang or Tornai - something that I couldn't afford the first time), no bridesmaids but our daughter participating, and a great big party afterwards.

Nope, I don't want any presents but you bet, I would love the attention! I'm not ashamed - don't people who post on FB or the Dis want attention from strangers? If not, I suppose we could just have the same conversations with family or friends in person.