Vow renewal

[Rland8228]

Hey congtats on everyone's engagement! My question is, My husband and I were thinking about having a vow renewal. I know that a lot of people cringe at vow renewals . My husband and I have had a really rough couple of first years, and it is only getting harder and I know that life isn't a walk in the park but my health has had its ups and downs and some other things. I was wondering if anyone on here has done a 5 year or a 10 year renewal, I am a little skeptical on doing one only because My husband has been married before and it was very difficult getting people to come to our wedding let alone a renewal in FL, I just thought maybe it would be a nice vacation for everyone to come down maybe for a long weekend or so... Also our wedding didn't really go as planned, I guess that you could say my mom turned it into more her day than anything and kind of ruined it for mike and I, I really didn't even pick my own dress. Just would really love to get some personal opinions! Thanks

 

[PunttinOnes]

I personally think a vow renewal is all about you and your husband--and celebrating your love. If the two of you would like to reaffirm your vows to one another--and marry each other all over again!--then I say go for it!

My husband and I just got married, but we said we'd love to do it all over again with just each other in 10 years!

Go for it...even if you just make it a very personal/small gathering.

 

[aml3679]

My husband and I have been married 25 years and just renewed our vows in September on our first cruise about The Celebrity Millenium somewhere between Seattle and San Francisco. It was just the two of us - we were married by the Captain and had a professional photographer. It felt magical.

When we met, we were single parents with no money. We didn't get to pick our wedding date - our minister did, our rings cost $14 and $20, my dress cost $40 - he wore and old suit. Someone made the cake. Someone took a few pictures. We went home and danced in our living room - I started my new job the next day.

I wanted a real wedding - we had real flowers, I had a long dress, he had a tux ... etc. We had a lot of fun and did it our way.

 

[Meghatron]

People cringe at vow renewals? Really? Why? I mean, I might give an eyeroll at a renewal that's five years or less -- ten feels like a good starting number -- but I certainly wouldn't cringe. And were I invited I'd be honoured to be included. Whether or not I would make it a vacation down in Florida I don't know, it would depend how close I was to the couple in question. But being actively negative about people celebrating their love? I think that's bad form.

 

[Rland8228]

My husband and I have been married 25 years and just renewed our vows in September on our first cruise about The Celebrity Millenium somewhere between Seattle and San Francisco. It was just the two of us - we were married by the Captain and had a professional photographer. It felt magical.

When we met, we were single parents with no money. We didn't get to pick our wedding date - our minister did, our rings cost $14 and $20, my dress cost $40 - he wore and old suit. Someone made the cake. Someone took a few pictures. We went home and danced in our living room - I started my new job the next day.

I wanted a real wedding - we had real flowers, I had a long dress, he had a tux ... etc. We had a lot of fun and did it our way.

Our wedding was a little bit the same and little different. When we meet with were both single parents he had just divorced a little over a year before he meet me. My mom kinda picked the wedding date, we were living here and I really just didnt have any say at all. We did have a nice decent garden wedding and we did get to go on our honeymoon that we paid for, but i guess my wedding day just didnt feel very magical. I didnt have real flowers, my mother in law and sister in law made my cake it was just not what I had dreamed of. I mean we loved getting married to each other and doing everything but it wasnt really us. Thats why i thought maybe we would do a fiver year renewal while a lot of his family is still around there is a 12 year age difference between us. I just dont really know what people would say about it. Or how much it would really set us back.

 

[Rland8228]

People cringe at vow renewals? Really? Why? I mean, I might give an eyeroll at a renewal that's five years or less -- ten feels like a good starting number -- but I certainly wouldn't cringe. And were I invited I'd be honoured to be included. Whether or not I would make it a vacation down in Florida I don't know, it would depend how close I was to the couple in question. But being actively negative about people celebrating their love? I think that's bad form.

Well it would probably be some members in his family and I know for a fact it would be my mother who would have a fit Im not sure if we will do a five year I would much rather do a ten year I jsut dont know if some of his family will be around.

 

[Meghatron]

Well it would probably be some members in his family and I know for a fact it would be my mother who would have a fit

Yes, but WHY? Can any of them give you an actual reason?

 

[tinkerbell 766]

Hi
I am a Disney VR bride. My VR is on May 4th at the Swan Hotel with cocktails at Mizners Lounge and dinner at Citricos to follow. We have 14 guests and are going the whole hog!!! I have a gown, we have flowers, a cake, a harpist and an officiant booked. Randy Chapman is doing the photographs. We are having a Welcome dinner, morning after brunch, ladies afternoon tea and gent's lunch and golf day. We are going the whole hog!!ll We will have been married just over 11 years when the VR happens (we wanted it at 10 years, but with my two older children still at Uni, financial considerations caused us to put it off a year or so). This is my second marriage and DH's first.
I say go for it!! Forget other people's opinions. Sure, invite them to come, but make it clear this will be happening whatever they think and whether they come or not. Whether it is just you and DH or you have 100 guests does not matter. You have come through hard times, and you are still together. Time to celebrate your love and commitment.
Feel free to have a peek at my PJ (link in my siggie). Congratulations and happy planning!!!

 

[Rland8228]

Yes, but WHY? Can any of them give you an actual reason?

No I don't think they can, see like I said there is a very big age difference between my husband and I. I got pregnant and at young age and had left the father of my child, I meant mike while we were both working at the same place and we just hit it off. When we got engaged my parents asked me to stay here to care for my 90 year old grandfather. I agreed when we started planning the wedding I would try and make decisions and it just wasn't what anybody wanted to hear. I asked my mom if we could just do a small family thing and save money and then do a really big thing later with everyone. Her comment to me was well this is our day to, to show our friends. I was so angry I later found out that I had bonds that I had apparently signed over earlier that paid for my wedding and they asked me to close out my college fund. Now here we are getting an apartment when I could have bought a house and I don't mind that right now since my husband can jump from store to store. In my mind I just remember it as being so bitter and something I will never be able to do over again. My mom will just tell me it's a waste of money and that its stupid, but I want my day not her day. sorry so long hope this kind of helps.

 

[Desnik]

DH and I renewed our vows at WDW in Nov '09. It wasn't on our actual anniversary, and it was the year we celebrated 15 years together as a couple but married for 12 of those years. To me I didn't care about the amount of years, or if it was on an actual anniversary. It was something for us that we wanted to do because we never had a wedding the first time, and other reasons you can read about in my PJ and TR.

It was the best thing we ever did and it was so wonderful! I say do it and it doesn't matter what others think. If your family wants to go and support you then great, if not it really shouldn't matter. It is a day for you and your husband.

 

[ericamcl]

double post

 

[ericamcl]

I agree with the previous posters - I say go for it!
It's something to do for you and your DH - who cares what the others say?
DFTW has a variety of packages to choose from - even if it's just the 2 of you you can be accommodated!

My DH and I are planning a 10 year in 2013 - it'll be 10 years since we met, not since we've been married, but we still want to do it for US. Our family will be there, but we just got married at the courthouse - and we both want something better to celebrate the years we've been together.

Keep us posted :

 

[Rland8228]

I think that we are definitely going to do our vow renewals at Disney Mike knows how much I love Disney and how I just want it to be us and OUR DAY this time. I would really like to do a wishes type but im really confused and I'm trying to understand it, I'm just not sure if we will do a fiver year or a ten year renewal I just feel as if five year is to early, I guess I will have to wait and see. Thank you all so much for your advice I appreciate it.

 

[Ember]

Good for you! No one else has your relationship and if you two feel like celebrating it, then go for it. I'm not a huge fan of vow renewals, but my DH has mentioned one a few times...

From the sounds of it, your family may not support the idea. Keep in mind there's nothing wrong with having just the two of you. Plan everything the way you'd like, and then enjoy the romance of it being a private event.

Best of luck!