Very last minute second thoughts...

[SpiritedHaunts]

I am sure no one is up and I probably won't get any replies, but we are scheduled for a 410pm flight tomorrow and am having sever second thoughts. All things are refundable, so no monies would he lost if we canceled.

We have already rescheduled this trip once this month, after finding out about a SSA hearing happening five days before.

My daughter was distraught and we stayed side by side for several days afterwards. Now, she is in constant treats about going tomorrow, by herself no less.

She could be at home alone and thinking while I am at work or she could clear her mind and have fun in WDW.

We have rebooked for a way shorter time in November, just in case. But I fear that may just put off the worry about results and all.

Any advice on how to calm her nerves? She would be the Dolphin, one of my hotels where a friend recently transferred to.

But, she has her issues and is nervous about the ” travel days” and bridging and upgrading a ticket alone.

Please give some words of wisdom and hope that she can upgrade without problems.

Would you send your adult disabled child alone, while she is unsure if she wants to go? I imagine she needs to clear her mind.

Thanks for letting me get this out.
We share this account so any thoughts to or not to would do us both some good.

 

[Sunnywho]

Maybe she would rather go with you or a friend? I've never done an alone trip so I don't know if that would clear my mind or just make me lonely! I think travel can be stressful and it sounds like she's already having a stressful time.

For the bridging, though, I would think she can do it and she should bring the written directions with her. Lots of other people have done it without difficulty. Having the directions tells the cast member even what screen to go to and how to do it, if she happens to get an inexperienced cast member.

 

[KPeveler]

If you live near or with her, a person with a disability (even an invisible one) is allowed to have an "assistant/caregiver/helper" with them in the airport, from the curb, though security, all the way to boarding the plane. So maybe you or someone else could go to the airport as well, help if any help is needed, and provide moral support as well. All your daughter and/or the person there would need to do is say that he/she is there to help your daughter, and the assistant will be given a pass (looks like a boarding pass) to go through security to the gate.

She should ask for pre-boarding. This will allow her to get on the plane first and get settled before everyone starts getting on and pushing and shoving. It also allows her to get any baggage settled before overhead space gets filled up.

Has she been to Disney or the Orlando airport before? She will likely need to take a "monorail tram" to the main terminal where baggage claim is.

How is she getting to the hotel? Does Magical Express go there, or is someone driving her?

Is she okay using Disney transportation?

Is she okay asking for a GAC (if she needs one)?

I find in some situations that I have problems communicating my needs accurately. Sometimes I have problems talking to strangers, sometimes I just get all flustered and stammer.

It is perfectly okay for her to write down things she is going to need. I write down my needs when asking for a GAC in a new park. She may want to write down what she may need from TSA or whatever...

I feel much more calm going into situations if I know what to expect. I think the TSA has videos of the security process and more info - here is the link, with more specific links below:

http://www.tsa.gov/traveler-information/travelers-disabilities-and-medical-conditions

Hope this helps some...

 

[SpiritedHaunts]

Thank you. She has been to Disney many times, mostly with me and her father when he was living.

She has enjoyed it side from the stressors. She is terrified to go alone this time, however.

I plan to get her on the plane and be by my phone for all help needed.

She has a sever social phobia and aspergers, so worry is a part of her life.

I will be able to visualize every where she is in the hotel and parks. She plans to go no father.

I am planning to go in december with her for a few days, but could not make this one, hince the added aprehension. And want of an upgraded ticket. I have heard horror stories there. But, as we know people who have it run smoothy trend not to write.

She.is overstressed, very much so and we are debating if just having a clean safe place away from all the hub bub will help clear her mind.
Infact. We went shopping and instead of going to a store she said she world rather have 20 dollars at the park. Then she begs me not to let her go. Every hypothetical is  if I go not when.

I an afraid I will be constantly worrying about her and getting crying calls. Not that I don't want to help. In this case I am lost. She will
have fun, but be very emotional and scared on occasion.

What to do? What do?

 

[Piper]

I would wait until we can go together. Going by yourself can be stressful if you are worried about day to day life. I don't usually have a lot of anxiety and have gone by myself several times. A couple of times, it has been difficult to manage just because of my challenges. I am determined and resourceful and worked through things. I can see how someone with anxiety might have a really difficult time.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Let me throw this out there - how much will she be able to clear her head when she knows that she has to get herself back to the airport and home by herself?

It honestly doesn't sound like she can handle this. And what would you do if she has a total breakdown and you are in a different state?

 

[SpiritedHaunts]

Like most she doesn't want an airplane ride or upgrading, her biggest concern, to win.

She would either be on my company's property or Disneys. Both of whom I trust. She may/will cry. But she will have fun.

She gets travel day anxious with me as well and this won't be her first time traveling alone, just more over stressed than normal. She can manage mears and the logistics, but to her it is a very big hurdle. One which she feels like she has than conqured.

She is worried about me. Her father got sick and passed when he was my current age and with the SSA hearing we have had to delve into all the ” bad” areas of her life.

I will be going in dec with her and am sure she can do this. It is just a lot to deal with being away right now. But I'd be at work and I fear she would be mad at herself if she did not try.

I have told her, if needed, I would come get her, have an employee friend of mine help get her to MCO et. all.

We are just wanting to see if anyone screams don't go. So far so good there.

Since we lost our ”tie” breaker person, decisions have become way harder.

 

[Tiggerish]

I have upgraded my ticket to an yearly pass on two different occasions. Both times it went smoothly and the CMs were a pleasure to work with them. Once the CM was fairly new and had to get a supervisor over to help but he was so excited to be issuing an annual pass that the smiling was contagious.

Tell her to have a wonderful time - it is a big challenge and you know her better than anyone and you believe she can do it. Trust yourself and her!

 

[lanejudy]

...We are just wanting to see if anyone screams don't go. So far so good there....

I'm not sure if you are only seeing what you want to see in the posts above, or if because people are also offering suggestions of how to help you overlooked these comments. 3 of 5 posters are clearly saying "don't go":

Maybe she would rather go with you or a friend?

I would wait until we can go together.

It honestly doesn't sound like she can handle this.

It does sound to me like this has turned into an extremely stressful situation for her. You've indicated she's an adult, she can and does travel on her own. She for some reason is worried about you being left behind. I can't quite make out if this trip in particular has her more worked up than usual, or if this is her typical "pre-trip jitters" and all will be fine. You know your DD better than we do. People have offered suggestions to help her get through it. But in my opinion it really does sound like waiting until you can go together may be the best option for peace of mind (for both of you).

Good luck!

 

[SpiritedHaunts]

While we still have until around four to totally cancel, we need to leave for the airport around one to get there two hours in advance.

I am feeling better and she has not gotten sick about it today, so it just might happen. We may get her a wheelchair on the way back to avoid any solo stress of being alone through security and to insure she gets to pre-board. She had a rude experience with that at MCO once. Plus having knee issues (I usually tote the carry ons) to boot might make that work out.

She is a very 'bright young lady' as the judge said. And I/we are feeling better about her leaving. Before she counted the days to the trip and now she counts the days till she is home and since she would be back in nine days (one travel on each end) she is hopeful that she can upgrade on park day one at DHS and then if need be sleep in and go off on missions (to watch Off Kilter, look for some items she wants, visit resorts she hasn't seen yet, swim, and or take pictures) for the rest of the days.

She has a 10 day non expiring ph from UT and hopes to have an easy time bridging and upgrading to a PAP. That way September and December and possible other trips within the year are essential free.

Thanks for the mention that there were no problems...now if I could only tell her where to go for a pink pirate chest cupcake and mickey straws.

Looks like she is headed for fun. I'll miss her of course, but I know she can do it once she is there.

Thanks again for the kind words.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

You mentioned your daughter has Asperger's and social anxiety. My 18-year old son also has both of those conditions and I'm thinking about how he would handle certain situations if he was on his own.

Is your daughter confident enough to approach people and ask questions, order food and ask directions? Is she confident enough about personal safety (not being too trusting or trusting enough)? These are things I know my son would struggle with.

Since you and your daughter both seem to be having second thoughts, it might make sense to cancel the trip and wait until you can go together. I would leave the final decision to her. Just ask her directly if she wants to go or not, and tell her you will respect whichever decision she makes.

I hope it works out for both of you!

 

[SpiritedHaunts]

Yes she has issues with asking for help or directions (she maybe in tear before, during, or after a social interaction). But she will defiantly do so if needed.

She has developed some tricks - like allowing me to ask. We learned to ship our packaged to the hotel whenever possible and that you can return an item, if you get it to think about, at the hotel gift shop to. This helps her be able to think as rationally as possible about the item in the quiet of her room and with help from me in person or via the phone.

When my husband was alive we took her on a special trip to Amsterdam and when we got there it was raining. I was upset and she looked at me and said,'Mom we're in Amsterdam in the rain.' Made me feel better. Now we use that as a saying about either being somewhere fun with an issue or we could have spent that week at home doing nothing as cool.

I believe that it helps greatly that she has traveled a lot with her family so she knows mostly what is going to happen, it seems to be the variations that cause issue. Going over what will happen helps and listening to her fears on what could go wrong then making a plan of action if they do seems to really help also. Her card that she can hand out to explain her problems are an added safety net.

Hope all goes well for her and us and for you and your son.

I will ask her and if she is unsure I think I will push a wee bit to go, reminding her that she can either hang in the hotel and let her mind process the hearing and all the other stuff head out to a park and look for things she has never noticed before. Or, like a broken car that you don't plan for, but need to take care of, I am willing to shell out all I need to get her back home and safely in my arms.

 

[Tiggerish]

Many of the resort food courts sell the Mickey straws. The pink pirate cupcake box was sold at Pizza Planet, ABC Commissary, Backlot Express, and Studio Catering Co. at Hollywood Studios last year (2012) during Christmas. Do not know if it is still around.

 

[GSUJillybean]

Yes she has issues with asking for help or directions (she maybe in tear before, during, or after a social interaction). But she will defiantly do so if needed.

She has developed some tricks - like allowing me to ask. We learned to ship our packaged to the hotel whenever possible and that you can return an item, if you get it to think about, at the hotel gift shop to. This helps her be able to think as rationally as possible about the item in the quiet of her room and with help from me in person or via the phone.

When my husband was alive we took her on a special trip to Amsterdam and when we got there it was raining. I was upset and she looked at me and said,'Mom we're in Amsterdam in the rain.' Made me feel better. Now we use that as a saying about either being somewhere fun with an issue or we could have spent that week at home doing nothing as cool.

I believe that it helps greatly that she has traveled a lot with her family so she knows mostly what is going to happen, it seems to be the variations that cause issue. Going over what will happen helps and listening to her fears on what could go wrong then making a plan of action if they do seems to really help also. Her card that she can hand out to explain her problems are an added safety net.

Hope all goes well for her and us and for you and your son.

I will ask her and if she is unsure I think I will push a wee bit to go, reminding her that she can either hang in the hotel and let her mind process the hearing and all the other stuff head out to a park and look for things she has never noticed before. Or, like a broken car that you don't plan for, but need to take care of, I am willing to shell out siall I need to get her back home and safely in my arms.

What is the benefit of pushing her to go? I don't follow.

 

[WantToGoNow]

I will pray that all works out well for your dd. I know you are stressed but it sounds like she wants to go. My adult dd has several invisible physical disabilities and I was nervous when she went to wdw last winter with a friend with some of the same issues. They did have problems but they dealt with them and are ok. I think I would be nervous for dd to travel completely alone because of her heart issues and passing out. Sounds like you are doing a great job of helping her be independent.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

What is the benefit of pushing her to go? I don't follow.

I agree. I find the OP's posts and reasoning very confusing.

 

[SpiritedHaunts]

She had been looking forward to an earlier September trip, but we together thought it best that now that the SSA hearing was scheduled for a few days prior that we might want to go later. As we might want to hunker down here at home.

She has mentioned how glad she was that she not lose the pretrip excitement and without knowing what would happen at the hearing the funness of the trip would be lost.

This is not her first solo trip and I know she enjoys it there. She had been looking forward to this for about a year. I could not make it due to work. I only pushed her because I knew she would have fun once there or she could come home whenever.

The pushing was nothing like telling her to go just me being optimistic.

Guess I learned not go back to simple journaling and not write to strangers expecting them to have a full grasp on our situation. Especially, when we often feel like we don't ourselves.

Thanks for reading...what I guess amounts to a vent by a nervous and distraught mother.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Wait, did she go or not?

 

[disneymom3]

She had been looking forward to an earlier September trip, but we together thought it best that now that the SSA hearing was scheduled for a few days prior that we might want to go later. As we might want to hunker down here at home.

She has mentioned how glad she was that she not lose the pretrip excitement and without knowing what would happen at the hearing the funness of the trip would be lost.

This is not her first solo trip and I know she enjoys it there. She had been looking forward to this for about a year. I could not make it due to work. I only pushed her because I knew she would have fun once there or she could come home whenever.

The pushing was nothing like telling her to go just me being optimistic.

Guess I learned not go back to simple journaling and not write to strangers expecting them to have a full grasp on our situation. Especially, when we often feel like we don't ourselves.

Thanks for reading...what I guess amounts to a vent by a nervous and distraught mother.

I think part of your trouble is that your posts changed in tone along the way.nto begin with, it sounded like your daughter was begging not to go. Your explanations were not very clear either. And in the end, you asked people's opinions and they gave them and along with that many gave very kind tips and advice. Some people said not to do it, but you ASKED if they thought you should make her go or not.

I hope your daughter has a lovely time.

 

[WheeledTraveler]

I know I'm late, but I wanted to just put out a perspective in terms of the time after the hearing.
I can't tell if your daughter went or not from what you've said, but I do want to say that I hope her SSA hearing went okay. I also hope she went on the trip.

I actually think a trip to WDW a couple days after a SSA hearing would be beneficial. It gives someone something to think about that's positive during the lead up to the hearing. If the hearing goes well, it could be a celebration and if the hearing goes badly, it could be a distraction/consolation. I'm actually waiting for a SSDI hearing date and after your post, I'm wondering if I can plan some sort of trip or other "treat" for myself for shortly after the hearing. The point is to have something definitively exciting in a good way for not long after the hearing. Even a "positive" hearing result could be bittersweet considering what such result means. I know it won't necessarily work for her, but I did want to throw that out as another way to think about the trip (it's even something you could suggest to her over the phone if she's already there).