Venting Venting

[Tiiiigergirl]

I am still trying to get used to my life so please just ignore me. I know so many of you deal with problems that are much worse. For the last 6 or 7 years I've had some mobility problems but ironically the only place I really noticed them was at a place like Disney because of the size, heat etc. Then this last winter I started getting much worse and need a cane everyday, wheelchair sometimes etc. Last Thurs I just lost it. I'm just not getting used to it. I went to scouts with my son. As many of you know he has Tourettes Syndrome and severe ADHD so he only does so so in crowds. He was away from me needed me and because the chairs were so close together and I don't move very well I couldn't get to him to help him out. No one else was noticing and I was very frustrated. The stress welled up and I had what I call one of My Mommy Psyco moments. (I didn't do anything but yell and cry so nobody panic.) I feel so helpless. Everyone stares which is bad enough but perfect strangers come up to me and ask me what is wrong?! They ask me why I don't walk very well. I'm not talking about the children but adults. Perfect strangers. Who are these people. I wasn't raised disabled and this is all very new. My disablity ill-defined and caused by a vitamin malabsorbtion problem so people think it should be better. I looked in the library for books and they don't have any. Any resources, tips or ideas?

To make things worse I lose my balance easily and I ended up falling yesterday and spraining my wrist. I'm really feeling like throwing a pity party.

One of my friends suggested I could tell people I am doing it for attention and "Thanks for giving me some!" Okay I feel a little better just venting. I know I'm lucky. Many people with this problem have spouses that really do act like they are faking and mine has been just wonderful! I'm lucky my job is sedentary and I can still do that. It's just that at times I want to take my cane and throw it through a window.

Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[Nanajo1]

Here is a big hug(((( ))))). I really do share your frustrations. There are days I am so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired I could scream! I try to count my blessings, my family and friends, but some days it is hard. My youngest is expecting her first baby any day and I know I can't be as helpful as I want to be. In fact I worry that I maybe more bother than help. So if you are throwing a pity pary invite me and we can laugh at ourselves and move on to the next wonderful thing that makes our struggles worth it. You have a great DH and terrific son who appreciates his family. So hang in there, Pixie dust on its way.

 

[SueM in MN]

hugs from me too {{{{hugs}}}} and since my oldest DD says she is Tinkerbell's secret identity, we have lots of pixie dust to spare in our house.
All of us are busy getting used to our lives, so don't feel bad. If you want to throw a pity party, you will need a big place 'cause there are quite a few of us who would like to come!
If you didn't get in a mood sometimes, you wouldn't be human. My moods right now are because my oldest DD is 19 and is getting independent and starting to make her own way in the world. My youngest DD is 16 and should be learning to drive a car, not a power wheelchair. Sometimes it's hard, but no one said life would easy.

 

[Tiiiigergirl]

Thanks guys. What color should the balloons be? Also what kind of ice cream does everyone like. At my pity party it will have zero calories and zero fat but taste incredible.

 

[Figaro]

Hugs to you! And I'm sorry you've been having such a difficult time. I also don't "look" disabled, but 30 plus knee surgeries have left me unable to walk any significant distances and I also fall at random intervals. The last major fall left me on the floor for about 10 minutes (felt like hours) until I could pop my knee back in. My spouse thought I should go to the emergency room, as I managed to bang myself up pretty badly. I told him that all it would take is one look at my bruised body (old and new), and the ER docs would ask him to leave the room so that they could ask me if I was being abused by him(smile).

If it helps at all, I have found that eventually I can get used to just about anything(smile). And the last time I had a major "pity party" was quite a few years ago. I finally figured out that I either had to learn to laugh about it, or I would spend all of my time crying. But I spent quite a bit of necessary time grieving the loss of the "old" me, and learning to accept the "new" me.

 

[SueM in MN]

If you got vanilla ice cream and lots of different toppings, everyone could get the kind of flavor they like. (at your pity party, that is)
Figaro, there are new mandates out for health care workers that they have to ask everyone if they are being physically or emotionally abused (heavily madated). So, if they ask you, don't think they are being suspicious. We are required to be suspicious of everyone.

 

[Figaro]

I know you are right (about the health care professionals needing to ask about abuse). Unfortunately, our emergency room has a physician in charge who doesn't take "No" for an answer very easily. The last time I was in, I finally had to tell them to call my family physician at home so that he could tell them that it wasn't abuse, but falls that cause me to be covered with bruises. It's just easier not to go sometimes then to have to deal with that particular hassle.

 

[teri]

{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

[SueOKW]

Some days nothing goes right - and when it all goes wrong it just seems to compound one nasty thing after another. Heavy sigh.

You are certainly in my thoughts, and I hope that you get some better days sooner! Here's a low cal treat - graham crackers with low fat cool whip in between them - make a sandwich, then freeze them for a bit.... like an ice cream sandwich only much less harmful... just in case at this point you are calorie consious! I know I wouldn't be after all that!

{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Sue

 

[Wheelsie]

 

[sncbird]

Hi Tiiiigergirl,

We all have had our far share of frustrations when dealing with a disability. Some days just seem to be alot harder than others. Keep the faith, things will get better. Tomorrow is always the start of a new day. Oh, I would be more than happy to attend your pity party. Let's see.........When I'm having one of my own, I have to have Chocolate Peaunt Butter Ice Cream!!!

 

[Tiiiigergirl]

Yes Chocolate of some kind is an absolute must. Thanks everyone for their kind words and support. It has helped knowing I'm not alone in the world.

 

[SueM in MN]

You need chocolate; Hope this works and does the trick:

And Wheelsie, I love that pixie dust you sent on this link.

 

[Wheelsie]

DH made that PD clippie for me...and 2 others...very kewl

 

[mamajoan]

Hi, Somedays I don't even know where to begin.... most folks here on this board know my little story, I'll give you the short course. I too am "new" to being disabled. I was a physical therapist assistant for over 20 years, always helping the disabled, fighting the good fight.... after a car accident I am now mobility impaired. It has been hard for me to be on the other end ... receiving instead of giving help. I feel people in general want to be helpful and are curious. It is hard to keep telling people that," NO, I am not going to get any better". Then follow that by" Thank you " for their help, ie most often it is their chiropracters ph #, or another # for a miracle cure.
Frustration with inabilities often overshadows the major accomplishmentsthat have been made. Somedays, I just feel just toooo darn old... and slow. (at 42! ) I think Pity Parties for oneself are a lovely idea. The only steadfast rule is that they must be short on time. I have learned a great deal about myself in the past two years. Isn't it funny how much patience that we have with others when we have so little for ourselves?? Please accept my squeeze and a hug. and just know that .. Tomorrow will be a better day. BTW ... make mine a double scoop of Heath Bar Crunch and Pralines and Cream!!!