Vent thread etiquette

[Pea-n-Me]

Poll coming

 

[Handbag Lady]

Yes, thus the term, "DISCUSSION BOARD."

If everyone just said, oh, yeah, I'm so sorry, what would be the point.

I like threads where there are different opinions. I tend to learn things that way.


Here's a good example. On another board, we were discussing carpool lanes and someone was venting about the people who used kids as tools for getting to use the lane. I said that it should only be adults because kids can't drive anyway. But, my dear friend pointed out that often she carpools and drives 7 kids to ballet practice who would normally be driven by 6 other parents. So, she in essence took six other cars off the road. And she changed my mind on the subject.

 

[Nie0214]

Of course it's all right on a public forum. If the OP only wanted to hear "Oh I'm so sorry, *pat on the back*", they probably should have turned to a relative.

 

[ckay87]

In my life, if I want to really vent and have everyone agree with me, I'd vent to my real life friends, face-to-face. For the most part, they will just go ahead and agree with me, or at least attempt to, in an effort to keep the peace.

Vent to a bunch of strangers on an internet forum is an open invitation for opinions, I think.

 

[Stitchfans]

Yes of course. There just is no need to get nasty while doing so. Some people just seem to like to hurt others for some reason.

 

[disbridemimi]

Yes of course. There just is no need to get nasty while doing so. Some people just seem to like to hurt others for some reason.

I agree 100%

 

[Jennasis]

Sure...just (as the PP said) no need to be a jerk about it.

 

[FayeW]

Of course it's okay to voice an opinion, even if it is different from the OP's.

It's just not okay to say "well you asked for opinions" unless the OP says "opinions please" or "what would you do".

Those threads usually say "Need Advice", "Opinions Please" or "WWYD"...not "Vent Coming"

 

[Kath2003]

Yes. Just because the OP is wound up about something doesn't mean that they are necessarily right to feel that way. Besides, when did other perspectives ever hurt anyone?

If people want to vent without hearing others' opinions of their situation, they should get a diary, a journal, or a private blog.

Nothing annoys me more than people who post but don't want to hear anyone else's opinion on the matter because in their mind they are right and therefore everyone else must be wrong.

 

[MushyMushy]

I said it depends, but for me it really depends on how the difference of opinion is offered.

I've seen so many unnecessary attacks on people who are well aware that their feelings might be irrational, but still want a safe place to vent their feelings. What's the harm in letting them? Is it THAT important to make your feelings known that you have to be nasty about it? I've always wondered about people like that. Sure, it's okay to disagree or point out that they might look at things from a different perspective, though.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

It sounds like most people think that, if it's a vent on a public forum, opinions are ok if they are offered respectfully.

Just wondering.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Yes of course. There just is no need to get nasty while doing so. Some people just seem to like to hurt others for some reason.

Oh, yes, I totally agree. You can discuss and disagree while still being polite and pleasant.

 

[suejai]

Absolutely. I also agree that people shouldn't be nasty about their responses. However, having said that, people should try not to take exception to a viewpoint that differs from theirs.

I have noticed that it is extremely easy to read a tone into electronic discussions, and not just on the DIS boards, but in emails and texts as well. That statements can be misconstrued simply because they were perceived incorrectly. And that IMHO people tend to take offense to what is really just plain speaking.

 

[JessicaR]

Yes of course. There just is no need to get nasty while doing so. Some people just seem to like to hurt others for some reason.

Exactly.

 

[bicker]

Yes. A discussion board isn't a good place to look for an unrebutted soap-box. Having said that, one of the most effective ways I have found of diffusing objections to venting I want to post is to acknowledge and ratify those objections myself, before others have a chance to post them. I remember one example, from another website, where I posted how frustrated I was that Verizon was cherry-picking which neighborhoods in town that they were offering FiOS service in, providing service to the "rich" people and leaving those of us on the outskirts high-and-dry. In that same post, I acknowledged that that's their right, and that while being deprived of that option frustrates me, that doesn't mean that I have a right to expect Verizon to offer service to everyone in town equally. There were some replies, but not many, and they were not notably abusive, and I believe that is because I made it clear that I respected the opposing side of the issue, from the outset.

 

[sbell111]

Yes of course. There just is no need to get nasty while doing so. Some people just seem to like to hurt others for some reason.

Of course, you don't have to hang out here for long to learn that some people take any difference of opinion as a grave personal attack.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Of course it's okay to voice an opinion, even if it is different from the OP's.

It's just not okay to say "well you asked for opinions" unless the OP says "opinions please" or "what would you do".

Those threads usually say "Need Advice", "Opinions Please" or "WWYD"...not "Vent Coming"

I'm not sure I'm buying this. I think it's splitting hairs.

Let me guess. You were the one person who answered No, weren't you?

I'm sorry if I upset the apple cart. Can we make up now?

 

[FayeW]

I'm not sure I'm buying this. I think it's splitting hairs.

Let me guess. You were the one person who answered No, weren't you?

I'm sorry if I upset the apple cart. Can we make up now?

I actually answered yes in the poll, just like in my post. We're good.

 

[C.Ann]

Yes of course. There just is no need to get nasty while doing so. Some people just seem to like to hurt others for some reason.

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I agree.. Basically the CB has turned into the old Debate Board - just with stricter guidelines..

People are always going to have different opinions - both here and in RL..

 

[Angelhalo]

No and it drives me bonkers!!!

Regular threads I feel are a free for all because its a Discussion Board so thats what its for. But if someone says that they want to "VENT" then I think people should let them. They didn't ask for opinions. They don't care what you think. They just want to be able to gripe about something, get a few virtual hugs and feel better by blowing off some steam. It just makes it WAY worse when you want to vent and just cool off some steam and people start telling you what you SHOULD do or what you SHOULD have done. You just get mad all over again. The whole point of venting is that you just let it all out, get a pat on the back and a few "I hear ya's" and then you can move on with life.

If someone labels a thread "Vent" then I try to respect them and their desire to vent rather than butting in with a bunch of advice that wasn't asked for. It's downright rude.