Vent--My SIL owes us money!!!!

[eeyore3847]

Here is what you should do!
First off why everyone is saying don't worry about the $150 is beyond me. I would be ashamed if I borrowed money and did not give it back.
What you should do is buy a nice card and but a nice little note in it for xmas. In that note say "your Family christmas 2007 and Family Birthdays of 2008 are now covered. Take the $150 you owe me and use that as your gifts. Your gift is that your Debt is cleared" - That would be a great thing for them. They do not owe money , you can figure it is the same amount you would have spent on all of those anyways. And then for the kids give them a card and say they each get a $20 GC to "wherever" they want. And let your sister know that day you put that in there cards as part of there money owed. Let her know you were strapped this season and that is the best you could do without the $150 that you needed for there holiday gifts.

 

[wilderness01]

Here is what you should do!
First off why everyone is saying don't worry about the $150 is beyond me. I would be ashamed if I borrowed money and did not give it back.
What you should do is buy a nice card and but a nice little note in it for xmas. In that note say "your Family christmas 2007 and Family Birthdays of 2008 are now covered. Take the $150 you owe me and use that as your gifts. Your gift is that your Debt is cleared" - That would be a great thing for them. They do not owe money , you can figure it is the same amount you would have spent on all of those anyways. And then for the kids give them a card and say they each get a $20 GC to whereever" they want. And let your sister know that day you put that in there cards as part of there money owed. Let her know you were strapped this season and that is the best you could do without the $150 that you needed for there holiday gifts.

love it. this is a great idea.

 

[flipflop]

Here is what you should do!
First off why everyone is saying don't worry about the $150 is beyond me. I would be ashamed if I borrowed money and did not give it back.
What you should do is buy a nice card and but a nice little note in it for xmas. In that note say "your Family christmas 2007 and Family Birthdays of 2008 are now covered. Take the $150 you owe me and use that as your gifts. Your gift is that your Debt is cleared" - That would be a great thing for them. They do not owe money , you can figure it is the same amount you would have spent on all of those anyways. And then for the kids give them a card and say they each get a $20 GC to "wherever" they want. And let your sister know that day you put that in there cards as part of there money owed. Let her know you were strapped this season and that is the best you could do without the $150 that you needed for there holiday gifts.

This is a great idea.

To me it is more the principle than the $ amount owed. BIL still owes us money for a gift that he put his name on for DH's grandmother in July. It ticks me off to no end that he asks us to put his name on stuff and we never see a dime from him. BIL just went to Kentucky for Thanksgiving and bought tickets to Costa Rica but he can't manage to pay us back $20 towards a gift. No more from us - not even for the smallest amount.

 

[eeyore3847]

This is a great idea.

To me it is more the principle than the $ amount owed. BIL still owes us money for a gift that he put his name on for DH's grandmother in July. It ticks me off to no end that he asks us to put his name on stuff and we never see a dime from him. BIL just went to Kentucky for Thanksgiving and bought tickets to Costa Rica but he can't manage to pay us back $20 towards a gift. No more from us - not even for the smallest amount.

You know what you should do. while he is in Costa Rica, send him a little note in the mail that says "hope you had a fabulous time on your trip. before I forget can you pay us the $20 you owe on Grandma's gift. Not a big deal, just thought it might have slipped your mind, I forgot too and just remembered. Thanks see ya soon.'
either leace on his answering machine or send a note
either way he owes it and never allow him to borrow a nickle.
My borther asked me for money. I said no I don't loan to family it is never good. Then the family looked at us as horrible people. But I new he would never ever ever pay us back!

 

[debbiet1]

Ohhhh Can I relate! .. Friends of ours wanted to go to Florida with us YEARS!!! ago. We were renting a condo already so it was their airfare. Well they couldnt afford the airfare SOO being the great friends we are.. we *LOANED* them the airfare money. just under 800.00 with the understanding you pay us the money back.. no interest. well.. that was 11 yrs ago. We still havent seen a dime of it. We have brought up the money many times as they were great at buying, fishing boats, new pool table, snowblowers, new vehicles and the list goes on. Well it came to a head 2 yrs, the wife figures they dont owe us the money and as they split up 2 yrs ago we'll never see the money. Worst of it was DH and him had been friends since childhood and he was one of our ushers in our wedding. SInce the conversation 2 yrs ago we havent heard from either of them. Guess its lesson learned.

 

[Iluvthemouse]

Been there, done that with DH's brother. They were in the midst of having their electric turned off. They had a 3,5,12 yr old. So we paid the electric bill only because they had the kids. Otherwise he and his wife would be sitting in the dark. So after a couple of months of "I sent you a check", "what was your address again?", etc we just realized it was a gift.

Fast forward 6 months, we see them and the oldest kids have pink razor phones, all 3 girls have Ugg boots, and the oldest have ipods. I guess they got some money and decided to spend it on themselves instead of pay us back.

I have nothing to say to them. I will not be around them. We really couldnt afford their bill but it was DH's brother and he felt bad for them. So fool us once shame on you, fool us twice shame on us-it will not happen again.

Live and learn.

 

[mdoc]

My philosophy on lending to friends and family is to not lend it to them if you wouldn't be willing to give it to them, because if you need or expect to get it back and don't there will be a very detrimental effect on the relationship. If I were you, I'd stop mentioning it to DH and just be glad to have $45 of the money back. If she pays you back, great, if not - lesson learned, don't lend to her again.

 

[eliza61]

Consider it a lesson learned. I pretty much think it happens to a lot of folks. My sis borrowed 2K from me to get her own apartment when she broke up with her boyfriend. I chalked it up after 3 years but it was a sweet payback when last year she ask to borrow a wad of cash for some car repairs. I smiled serenly and said 'when pigs fly"

 

[maxtomsmom]

I haven't had time to read through all the posts, but what I have read could have been written by me. DH and I have lent SIL and her crew a ton of money. First it was to help bring the heat back. The thought of having my 2 young nieces living in unbearable freezing cold conditions really bothered me. So we helped. I wasn't expecting the money back as it was a sincere gift and even gave them extra to help for school supplies. We have lent her other money here and there to help bring back the electricity, pay for car insurance and the such for over 10 years.

But what really gets DH and I blood boiling is when my other BIL (all my husband's siblings) lent her money with the expectation that she is to sell her house and pay him back. He lent her $5,000. This was to pay for some immediate bills. He tells us that they have to sell their home or they will foreclose. They owe over $85,000. We have been telling them for years to sell. They don't make enough to live. They could have sold their house and bought a condo or Co-op. Lived much wiser and better. My SIL is a stay-at-home mom with 2 kids in full day elementary school. She can work part-time or full time, but chose not to. I'm all for staying home with your kids, but not like this. They make terrible choices when it comes to spending.

It gets better. They decided to foreclose and live without making any payments for 6 months. Here's the best part, my BIL who gave the $5,000 took it out of the Football Fantasy Draft money. Now he's stuck and so he asks us if we can go in 1/2. I flat-out said NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! We just bought a house and have our own expenses. My DH said he would do what he can, but he wasn't going to do 1/2.

Wait, it continues... So I find out they can't pay all these bills, but they buy a PlayStation3 with Blue Ray. Can you imagine. They go on bragging about it and laughing about what games they want. It costs over $500. Try paying someone back already or hosting a holiday. They expect us to do it because "You have that fancy new house with all that room. You don't mind the cleaning, cooking, the cleaning again." Something like that. Hey I work part-time and DH works long hours and it took us a long time to get where we are now without borrowing money in the process.

Like I said, they make terrible choices. My DH says they are like 2 children themselves and can't make a good decision unless it is done for them. BTW we even paid for them to see a credit counselor (their idea).

PHEW! That vent felt good.