Vent: Math teacher can't do the math *** Update Page 2 ***

[Towncrier]

Sue has talked with James' teacher regarding this incident. It seems that James may have not been completely honest about the situation surrounding his "F". This is an advanced math class and he was apparently having problems understanding trigonometry, so his scores leading up to the test were not as good as he led us to believe. There were not a lot of point "opportunities" during this grading period, so he did not come into this exam with an "A" as he had told us. He did finally manage to grasp the concepts, but not before he bombed the midterm. Yup. He actually took the test that he claimed to have missed. This math teacher has a very liberal policy on tests. Maybe too liberal. Have you seen the commercial where the bowler has to knock down one pin to win the championship? And he misses. Then gets to keep trying until he knocks it down? Well, James had a one week window to retest. And he forgot. He was in tears when he told us that he had forgotten to retake the bombed test, so he decided to make up the story about being absent the day of the test. He has since re-taken the test, but not for full credit. His teacher told us that he has a solid "C-" right now, but that he is doing well in the next area of study.

We have had "honesty" problems with James in the past. He has been a perfectionist from an early age. Apparently the preschool that he attended had never purchased pencil erasers until James came along. So he could not bring himself to tell us that he had messed up. And he blamed the teacher. We like to think that we are reasonable parents and that he could have and can come to us with any problem. But he continues this behavior. This time I made it clear to him that if he does this one more time, he won't be getting his learner's permit in 9 weeks when he turns 15 1/2. And that he won't be sharing in the driving responsibilites on our trip to WDW in June. I hope and pray that this convinces him that he should stop trying to hide the truth from us. I guess that our biggest fear is that he will be even more evasive as he grows older and that he will try to hide something more serious than a failing grade on a test from us.

My apologies to James' math teacher and my lashing out at her policies without getting the whole story.

As far as the comment about grading software, gepetto is probably right. As a software engineer, I am appalled that a missed test would be counted as a zero (unless a makeup exam was out of the question). That's like presuming that someone is guilty until proven innocent.

Thanks for all the comments. Now if anyone knows how to get teenagers to always tell the truth to their parents, please let me know.

 

[LisaTx]

If I didn't know better, John, I would think our sons were twins seperated at birth.

If you figure out what makes them tick or what motivates them, please let me know too.

 

[glo]

THanks John..YOu have restored my faith in parents. As a teacher, I get blamed for alot, but even when it is the child or parent, I can say I rarely get an apology. It is nice to know that people like you exsist. Wish there were more like you out there

 

[Towncrier]

Glo (and all the other teachers here on the DIS boards). When I learned the truth last night, I was mortified that I had posted this thread without hearing both sides of the story. With all the replies that this post was getting, I knew that I had to set this particular story straight. I am truly sorry for jumping to the conclusion that the teacher was wrong. I don't know why James thought that he could get away with this. He should have known at the very least that his mom would call his teacher to see what we could do to straighten out his grade situation.

Next time I'll wait to hear both sides before posting. Promise!!!

 

[Sonya]

Amen glo. John, I'm sorry you had to go through this. I hope he keeps up on the honesty.

 

[Pembo]

John-I read your sordid tale today with both sides of the story! I see my future with Tyler in what James did today.

Good luck!

 

[jfulcer]

Now we know why your nickname is townCRIER. Good luck with further dealings with DS. We'll be in the same spot, oh, about 11 years from now.

 

[Mskanga]

Funny that you posted this John, I spoke to DD's math teacher yesterday , she came home the other day saying that she got an "F" on her geometry test but she said, mom , she gave me this page on monday and then she gave us the test on tuesday and got an "F" when I didn't even know how to do it. Then a couple of days went by and I asked my friend who is one of the teachers in her school if she could find out exactly what was going on. Turns out , the teacher had been teaching them all that the week that we were gone to WDW on vacation and the day after we came back DD was tested for something she did not even know how to do. My friend told me and I called the teacher, she told me that she didn't even know that DD had not been in school that week ( she got very defensive right away ) , so I told her to give her some extra help and re-test her again. She was just tested about the same thing last thursday and got a B+.
I'm really upset that the teacher has the nerve to tell me she didn't even notice she wasn't in school that week, maybe because she's the shy quiet one ( probably the only one in the class ) and does not give a problem it that she never even realized she was absent. Maybe she has to be a bit louder??
I have never had a problem with any teachers but it just kills me when she gets on the defensive right away, I'm not there to criticise, I'm there to find out what the potential problem is and look for a solution.
BTW, DD did tell her that she had not been there that week before the test and she told her that "she didn't want to hear it".

 

[glo]

John, teachers are not saints, we are normal people who have bad days and good. The problem is that NO ONE including me (as a parent) likes to here anything wrong about our children. We all want the best for our kids, and when there is disagreement about what is best there lies the problem.

DO not be sorry you posted this. I for one and very glad you did. YOu saw a problem and then you went and fixed it. You also admitted that it was not all the teachers fault.

My suggestion is never just believe in blind faith in what is said, on either side. Also, Kanga, I would not ask anyone to find anything out for you, I would go do it myself. Involving other people just adds more fuel to the fire.

You can easily tell if she did not notice your child was not there, by attendance records. I would be spektical of that remark.

Like I said teachers are not superhuman. They are normal human beings. They are often very frustrated by many things beyond their control that they can not change. They are held responsible for all the children passing these state tests.

Kanga, asking her to tutor your child, keeps her from teaching the entire class. She can send the work home for you to do it, but she can not take class time to do it. Is she offering afterschool? If so that is her time...Also, you chose to take her out of school during school time, and are responsible for what is missed. She was there and taught to the students there.

I am not saying this to start an argument...just that sometimes, I get very defensive over people always blaming teachers. YES there are bad ones out there. For the most part though, most are struggling with lack of books, materials, sick buildings, standards that can't be reached, and it is demoralizing.We are not in it for the money, and most of us are in it because what we do get is a sense of pride in helping along students to a good life.

FLAME AWAY

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

As I can relate having gone through the system with our two sons. My wise and kind mother pointed out to me that our children try to do the right things. Sometime being human, they slip in life as we all do or have done from time to time. They want to be the good children we expect. Rather than face up to the truth and show that they are not as perfect as we want to think, they will sometimes begin to wind a great tale. We, having the experience of age and time, understand how this does not work. They are still learning.
It is a great learning opportunity for all involved to understand that these things happen, when they do that they must be dealt with—both from a parental side as well as the child side.
We have had to tell ours that we understand that they will make decisions and choices that we do not always support. All choices involve consequences—good or unpleasant—for all people. It is difficult and will always be difficult when the choice involves some unpleasant result. Yet, it continues. Being a parent is tough, so is being a kid. Hang in there and give each other lots of love.

 

[Mskanga]

Glo the problem is this teacher is the one who told me on open house " I do not believe in giving homework " which this is the first year ever that she comes home with no math homework. That's fine with me as long as she's doing fine in school.
I wasn't asking her to tutor DD and take the time away from the rest of the children, our school has Instructional Support Teachers that we can use if we need them , my friend is one of them and that's why I asked her to find out. This particular math teacher has had several problems with other people also , but what really ticked me was the fact that DD told her that she had not been there the week before and did not listen to her or offer to send her to the IST for help for a couple of days , she also failed to check the attendance sheet.
I have never complained about any of the teachers she ever had, as a matter of fact I praised them because I know what they have to go through on a daily basis but I think in this instance the teacher should have listened to her, that's what upsets me, DD does not lie , DD knows that she will not be reprimanded is her grades are low and we know that she's doing her best.
All I was asking this teacher was , let her go to an IST if she's having trouble.
I know that there are parents out there that just blame the teachers ( their children are saints you know ? ) but this is not our case, I specifically introduced myself to her on open house and told her , any problems please let me know, I think I opened the communications line there , she just didn't take me up on the offer I guess.
But at this point it doesn't matter anymore , she got her B+ on the second test which means she grabbed the concept.

OK, off my soap now....going to help the kindergarten teacher now!

 

[disykat]

Thanks, towncrier, for posting the update. It's nice to see a parent take responsibility.

Mskanga, I just have to add that it is not the teacher's responsibility (or anyone else at school) to make up work that a child missed on vacation - it is the parent's and child's. This is why school's complain when families go on vacation!

 

[sharbear]

No math homework, we had that one year and boy it drove me crazy. That was the year my DD brought home A's and high test scores and yet did not make honors math. When DH asked her she commented that she did not give the honors math placement test and who was she to recommend a child who didn't do well on one test! Only her math teacher for the last two year, who else was better equiped to tell who could make it in Honors?

Anyways, boy Towncrier can I relate to your situation. I can't tell you how many times this same situation comes up on our house with my 15 yo son. We get e-mail's with their progress and in English he had a 0 on a homework assignment. I asked about it and he told me that he must have forgot to put his name on the assignment and that he would talk to her the next day. He came home and told me that this was indeed what happened. I get the next e-mail, still a 0. I print off the paper to give to him thinking that the teacher just hadn't corrected her mistake. A third e-mail comes home still with the 0. At that point he fesses up that he did the assignment he just forgot to hand it in. Along with now 2 additional 0's which were for assignments that were forgotten to be handed in when he was sick. I lost it that this point and said that if this wasn't taken care of the next day he would be grounded. Finally he took care of things. Why this took so much effort, I will never understand.

If you can figure out how to change this behaviour, will you tell me. BTW my DD never pulls these stunts. She does other stuff but not this.

 

[Mskanga]

Originally posted by disykat

Mskanga, I just have to add that it is not the teacher's responsibility (or anyone else at school) to make up work that a child missed on vacation - it is the parent's and child's. This is why school's complain when families go on vacation! [/B]

Disykat;
I didn't say that it was the teacher's responsibility to make up work that my DD missed while on vacation but to he honest with you the teacher signed and approved the educational trip , she should have given her homework to do , she didn't even do that! I still don't think it was fair for DD to be tested the day after she goes back about something that was taught in school while the teacher allowed her to be out, yes the teacher probably forgot but she should have listened to her instead of ignoring her.

 

[Mskanga]

Holly cow, that's a weird post , half Italic , half normal....LOL.
It was an accident! LOL

 

[Cindy B]

Interesting developments there .

John, I am glad that you were humble, and apologized. I've had to apologize to teachers as well, and its not fun or pleasant.

I've also been on the receiving end as well, and that isn't fun!

Well, hopefully now James understands his expectations from yourself/Sue and the teacher.

 

[Serena]

Towncrier, my oldest did that a lot when she was in elementary school. Not neccessarily just for grades either. I would get upset and go talk to the teacher and find out the other half of the story. That happened a couple times before she realized that I would go talk to the teacher and find out the other half. Then she started telling me the whole story on the way down the hall.
She doesn't bother telling me stories about grades anymore.

My youngest used to hide her bad grades from me. She rarely gets any and it upsets her when she does. I had to convince her that she doesn't have to make perfect grades. It wasn't easy.

 

[Mskanga]

That's one thing Serena I always told DD, don't think that I will believe your side of the story right away, I will ask the teacher and hear her / his part of the story. So far she never made up anything or lied about anything but it doesn't mean she never will.
I have been helping the kindergarten teachers quite a bit lately in my kid's school, let me tell you that sometimes it shocks the heck out of me what I see and the way some parents behave.

 

[mickeyfan1]

what a debate! o very good exchange of thoughts, so i wil add a few more of mine. My mother tought scholl for 27 years, several of her brothers taught, my 2 older sisters taught, I was the 1st not to. All of them and now my best friend who teaches 2nd grade, said many parents want their children to pe placed in the gifted programs, but when the child is overchallenged, they want the teacher to give a better grade than is deserved, or to lay off the homework, etc. I think teachers get caught in the middle all too often. As far as what happened with TCs DS, it is hard not to take the kids side if his history has shown really good grades and this incident seemed out of the ordinary. But good to have both sides. I think that mabe DS did not want to disappoint the parents and got into a situation that got out of control. Hopefully, lesson learned. As far as how to handle some of this stuff, this is what I did, I am not saying anyone should follow my example, but I had to do it for my own sanity. When my son (26 now) was in elementary school, we did the homework notebook, and weekly checks of what was happening, etc. As he got older, I put it on him to get done what he needed to do. I told him that it did not matter to me if he failed, I was not going to suffer any consequence. If he chose to fail, he would have to pay the price of summer school classes, etc. I just couldn't see myself getting on him everyday about homework, drum practice, ect. I always made it his choice and his responsibility. I never saw his success or failure as a reflection on me, only on him. Sometimes he was unhappy with how things turned out, but he could only blame himself.

Sorry for the long post.

And let me finally end with - I think teachers for the most part have one of the most thankless jobs around. They put their heart and soul into helping develop our kids to be the best they can be. They spend their own money on supplies, because we refuse to pay additional school taxes and complain when the classrooms are ill equiped. They spend their free time grading papers and making lesson plans, and then have to hear "Well you get the whole summer, break, etc, off while I have to work and pay the taxes that pay your salary". It is no wonder that so many people want to teach, but don't. To those of you who do it, I say hear, hear, you are all wonderful, and even tho my son turned out pretty much the way he chose, it had nothing to do with the teacher. They all tried very hard.

 

[gepetto]

In a lot of schools, vacations are unexcused absences. The teachers don't have to let you make up the work.

Towncrier, I hope things work out with your son's math.