Vent: How would you handle? Co-worker issue

[LovesTimone]

I have a co-worker that drives me crazy. She is passive- aggressive, and sticks her nose into every conversation that is going on and tells everyone how to do their job. She is constantly asking for help, I don't mind helping out anyone that is willing to learn, she has taken notes and more notes, and still does not understand, I think that she just wants someone to do it for her. I work in a small but high volume office, there are only 8 of us, and we all work well together, but she is really causing some internal issues. She has been with the company less than 90 days.

I know 2 of the other women have been to the office manager, But she says she knows and will handle. But it doesn't seem like anything is being handled

She is so rude at times, but if you are rude back or say something back to her, she starts, well I am new and no-body wants to help me, oh poor pitiful me. She is causing inter-office disagreements with someone of the other girls, pitting them against each other.

I had to leave early one day last week to take care of personal business. She kept asking me why are you leaving? Then another co-worker said I hope that everything works out at the lawyers office, well she started asking me all kinds of question, she kept on all morning. I would not even respond, finally I had enough and said Why do you keep asking me? Really.. it is not any of your business.

Well today thing really got out of hand between her and another co-worker, the other girl said that she was calling HR and I'm pretty sure that she did.
So things are going to get ugly.

I just don't have any more ideas on how to handle this.

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

I am sorry for your sucky situation !

I once worked in a medical pratice with 13 other women and you would have thought I worked with a bunch of kindergardeners. It was terrible because they were all somehow related, by extension of family related or lifelong friends, it was hell some days. . . . .

maybe try a whoopie cushion hidden in her desk chair ?

 

[MomToOne]

Earplugs and meditation.

Really - try and stay above it all as much as you can. Let your manager know the problems, but do not dwell on them or engage in the fighting.

Once things get to the point of "being dealt with", you want to be able to say you certainly weren't the problem.

(Of course, that is all easy for me to say from a distance. I personally am dealing with a co-worker who loves to blame me for her screw ups, when she thinks I won't find out. Today, my boss came to ask me about something I supposedly "told" this co-worker to do, which was wrong. I was like "What are you even talking about?" Literally, I had NO CLUE what she was talking about, because I hadn't worked with this co-worker on the task she was trying to blame on me. )

 

[Mickeyflower]

I have had the misfortune of working in a VERY SMALL OFFICE, only 3 of us-women, plus the Ops Mgr. I was the new girl and because I had a college degree, the other 2 were hell bent on making my work life a LIVING HELL. I was the scape goat for everything that went wrong, even if I had nothing to do with it. I was so determined to prove them wrong. I would come in, do my work-head down, barely talk unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, and go home. Try as I might, I could not escape blame. I put up with this for 2 YEARS, until I was finally laid off January 2010, and remain unemployed today.

Well, Karma has finally bitten the OB's (Office Beooches as I used to refer to them) and they have both been screwing up and fighting with each other like Tom cats. They have no scape goat.

My point in this long reply is, do your best to keep your head down and let her dig her own grave. People like that ALWAYS DO. It may take longer than you like, but it will happen. When you get a break, leave the office every time. It is what kept me sane.

 

[kaytieeldr]

It's very possible the situation is being 'dealt with' within a 90 day probationary period - you said she hasnt been working this long yet? She may not be there much longer. Meantime, next time she asks for help with something you know you've showed her before, ask her where her notes are and ask her what specifically she still needs help with. Is she just not sure she's doing it right? Are her notes incomplete? Is it truly something you all take for granted because you do it all the time, and you need to put yourselves in the shoes of a new person?

 

[tomthebarncat]

Two replies immediately come to mind: as for work interruptions " I really need to focus on what I am doing", and for the personal, none of your freaking business stuff " I do not feel comfortable discussing this with you". When she asks for help, pinpoint exactly what she is having a hard time with, and then suggest that she write this down for future reference.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

I second the advise on earplugs. Even if you don't have them plugged into anything just don't let the exposed ends show.

 

[jedijill]

From a manager point of view, your office manager is probably trying to deal with it. I know that if I have an issue, I cannot discuss with other employees..all I can say is that I am aware of an issue and am dealing with it. There could be corrective action or other HR stuff in the works behind the scenes that you cannot be privy to.

In the meantime, take the suggestions that PPs have said...keep your head down, ignore her politely, and document any issues with your office manager.

Hang in there....I hate co-workers like that!

Jill in CO

 

[LovesTimone]

Op here

Thank you for the kind words. They really gave me a boost.

I am just trying to stay neutral, and out of the line of fire. But it is getting increasingly hard to manage that. I did talk to my office manager today, and let her know my concerns. She did say that she is well aware of situation and is making adjustments and to just keeping doing what I'm doing.

So that what I'm going to do.

 

[Disney Doll]

Give your office manager some time to deal with the situation. It might be helpful for her if you document in writing what issues or disturbances this woman is causing, what mistakes she's made, what the impact of the mistakes were. Keep it factual. For example:

June 1, 2011-showed X for the 3rd time how to enter the invoices into the XYZ system. X stated she understood. later found that invoices were entered incorrectly by X, resulting in a delay in payment amounting to $10,000.

I know my manager has said to us on numerous occasions "Don't barge into my office and tell me that so and so must be fired. If you have a legitimate issue, document the facts for me and I will handle it". In my place of employment there is a discipline system....1st issue is a verbal warning, 2nd issue is a written warning, 3rd issue is fired. There are also exceptions to this system that will get you fired on the spot. Those exceptions are usually big things like bringing a weapon to work. The more documentation management has, the better off it all goes if the person ends up getting terminated. My boss has also told me that they need an overwhelming amount of documentation showing what the problem employee has done, errors made, etc. Often, someone who gets fired takes their case to the Labor Board, so it is important to have lots of supporting documentation.

As far as dealing with this employee on a personal level, I agree the less said the better. I agree with tomthebarncat's phrases of "I really need to focus on my work" and "I am not comfortable discussing this with you" as being very helpful phrases. The 3rd one I would add is "I'd be happy to show you how to do that again. Please bring a notebook so you can take notes to refer to in the future".

Keep your communication with her calm and professional and polite. That's all you need to be. You don't have to be her best friend nor do you have to buy into her "Poor me, nobody likes me" high school baloney. You're at work. You don't have to like each other. You have to be able to work together.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, this...
Disney Doll's post above!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I've been on both sides of this coin. If I bring up the issues, I'm told to mind my own business. Other times when I complain I get "if we don't know we can't deal with it, so please let us know." I have a motto that I now live with "If you give them enough rope, they will hang themselves." At some point they will po the wrong person and will screw up something so badly, no one will be able to save them. Think of it as a spectator sport -- just sit back and watch her implode.

 

[Evil Genius]

An Ipod is your best friend in this situation. Speak to her only about work situations, if she asks personal questions, tell her nicely, that it is private matter.

 

[dodukes]

You could just bring your ipod to work and put the earphones in and not actually turn them on. Its kind of fun, I did it for a while at a job i HATED!! lol

sorry I have nothing to add but just bear in there, if you have to be rude about keeping your stuff private just do it ..dealt with a few office nuttys before..

 

[Disney Doll]

I would also recommend that you not discuss too much private business at work. Give this lady one less thing to yap at you about.

 

[PigletsPal2]

Could you type up step-by-step, easy to understand instructions for each task for which she is responsible and send them to her with a cc to your (and her) supervisor? Include a note that she may want to put together a standard operating procedure notebook for her own reference and that, after reviewing and following these instructions, if she has additional questions, you'd be happy to help.

Maybe a litte P/A, but better than stewing about it.

Queen Colleen