Vent/Cry re work and vacation . . . not really update p. 4, post 55

[akcire]

OP--A similar situation happened to my husband a couple of years ago.

I told my husband to bring home a blank expense report. I spent a couple of hours detailing out all of our actual lost costs due to this "meeting he had to attend". I typed a letter and told him to take it to his boss for approval. Shockingly, they were able to reschedule the meeting. Like I explained to his boss, I understand the needs of the business and am willing to be flexible; however as a result of the late scheduling I am suffering a monetary loss and I expect the company to reimburse the difference. Boss said he had never thought about it that way--and since the costs were significant $3500, he understood why I was upset.

The funny thing is that a couple of years later my husband had to cut short a vacation by one day. Before my husband even objected the boss told him to bill in any difference in airfare and he would approve the expense, plus any additional travel expenses (like we both took a car service home, so he billed in one-normally we would have been in the car together).

 

[LisaR]

See this is what's becoming the problem. it used to only be certain times of the year - first six months. now it's definitely the first six months and then also the "you never know when it's bad until it's too late" to do anything about it in the last six months. thus frustrating, especially since my job is the exact opposite where I can go anytime of the year; however, I have to schedule vacation time far in advance so that other things don't get scheduled during the time we want to go.

Is there any chance YOUR boss would take pity on you and allow you to schedule your vacations on a more last minute schedule? By your post (and maybe I am misinterpreting it) it seems as if your DH might be involved in protecting our country. Maybe explaining that to your boss would give you a little leeway in how your vacation time is allowed to be scheduled. Or, maybe you would be allowed to book any leftover weeks that your coworkers haven't used up as a last minute trip making an agreement with your boss that you won't book anything while someone else is out on vacation.

 

[chamonix]

If you have to cancel, call Disney and "change your dates" instead of canceling. At least you get another shot at making it, and you aren't out the money yet. Don't know if that works for cruises, but it will for the WDW part. Good luck, it's a crappy situation for sure.

I would try the other methods of approaching hubby's job mentioned upthread too. It can't hurt and you might be surprised.

 

[SaraJayne]

Thank you - it is about being with my dh - I want to be with him when I can, but especially on our anniversary trip. And why am I not allowed to be unhappy to be out of teh money too? We are not going to sacrifice his job for the trip, but I'm allowed to be sad, aren't I? And hugs to all other posters who have to sacrifice too.

I completely understand why you are upset and sad.

You absolutely have the right to be upset about the money and the time lost.

No, I don't think you need to shut up and just be thankful your husband has a job. You are entitled to be disappointed and upset about the situation (regardless of what other posters try to tell you. )

 

[minkydog]

I would be upset, too. We had this happen to us several years go. Had a family vacation involving my whole extended family and suddenly, like 5 days prior, my husband couldn't go. I went by myself with DS but it wasn't the same. I was really sad about it because I had used up all my vacation for this trip. So no more vacations for another whole year.

 

[RadioFanatic]

Is there any chance YOUR boss would take pity on you and allow you to schedule your vacations on a more last minute schedule? By your post (and maybe I am misinterpreting it) it seems as if your DH might be involved in protecting our country. Maybe explaining that to your boss would give you a little leeway in how your vacation time is allowed to be scheduled. Or, maybe you would be allowed to book any leftover weeks that your coworkers haven't used up as a last minute trip making an agreement with your boss that you won't book anything while someone else is out on vacation.

Unfortunately, although I have an amazing boss, it's not bc of him that I have to schedule things early. I'm an attorney who is in court all of the time, so I'm scheduling with other law firms, judges, etc. for depositions, trials and more.

Oh and to answer another question, although dh's job helps people, he is not in the armed services.

UPDATE - Dh sent an email to his immediate boss (it's how they communicate, bosses' preference) yesterday late morning about the issue. He has still heard nothing from him. Our trip starts a week from today. You think his boss would at least have the courtesy to respond in some form.

 

[hentob]

I feel badly for you.

What if you were attending a wedding? Or a family reunion?

Or what if you had surgery planned?

Would your DH's boss just say "Sorry. Come to my last minute meeting".

I hope it works out. It appears to me that you both work very hard.

 

[Acklander]

UPDATE - Dh sent an email to his immediate boss (it's how they communicate, bosses' preference) yesterday late morning about the issue. He has still heard nothing from him. Our trip starts a week from today. You think his boss would at least have the courtesy to respond in some form.

Maybe the boss is working on some behind the scenes stuff to see if he can save the vacation, and isn't responding until he hears from others.

 

[RadioFanatic]

I feel badly for you.

What if you were attending a wedding? Or a family reunion?

Or what if you had surgery planned?

Would your DH's boss just say "Sorry. Come to my last minute meeting".

I hope it works out. It appears to me that you both work very hard.

It's funny you should mention this. It was my parents' 40th wedding anniversary this year; and instead of a party (they are sorta introverted) we did a family reunion trip to the beach which we had planned for a year. Dh almost didn't get to go. We literally found out the night before he could and it was only bc the last minute meeting they planned got rescheduled (not bc of him) to the next week. Another time, I had early morning surgery (put under anesthesia) got out early afternoon and he had to go straight to work. My IL's had to come help me (they are from out of town).

 

[WDSearcher]

UPDATE - Dh sent an email to his immediate boss (it's how they communicate, bosses' preference) yesterday late morning about the issue. He has still heard nothing from him. Our trip starts a week from today. You think his boss would at least have the courtesy to respond in some form.

Well ... if the industry your DH is in is as filled with sudden impacts (last-minute meetings, things that are both important and confidential, etc), I would imagine that perhaps the boss has other things on his mind than your DH's vacation. I know that it's really important to YOU, but probably less so to the boss. It's frustrating, but things like this get answered based on the boss' priorities, not your husband's and yours. And, as someone said upthread, the boss may well be working with others on the team to reschedule some things or determine if your DH's slot in the meeting could be filled by someone else this once.

If the boss had responded with, "I don't know. I'll think about it.", that would be "responding in some form." Would you rather have that, or silence? Either way, you don't have an answer.

 

[RadioFanatic]

Well ... if the industry your DH is in is as filled with sudden impacts (last-minute meetings, things that are both important and confidential, etc), I would imagine that perhaps the boss has other things on his mind than your DH's vacation. I know that it's really important to YOU, but probably less so to the boss. It's frustrating, but things like this get answered based on the boss' priorities, not your husband's and yours. And, as someone said upthread, the boss may well be working with others on the team to reschedule some things or determine if your DH's slot in the meeting could be filled by someone else this once.

If the boss had responded with, "I don't know. I'll think about it.", that would be "responding in some form." Would you rather have that, or silence? Either way, you don't have an answer.

I would rather have the think about it than silence bc I then at least know it's on his radar.

 

[Amelia Peabody]

Of course nothing will ease the stress of THIS vacation, but trip insurance would cover your DH's costs... I think. If you try to plan again, ask about it. I went to the ER 3 days before a cruise with 8 friends. My cabinmate and I both had to bow out and BOTH got full refunds.

Hope you can go....all of you.

 

[Amy&Dan]

I'll be checking this one later on to see if you find out anything from the boss. I just feel so bad for you.

I think so many companies have gotten so out of hand with this type of thing. Gone are the days when your boss was with you in the same office or work setting, knew you, you worked there for years and they wanted you to work hard but they knew you had a little something called a life that took some priority too. Very sad.

My husband's old boss who was in India used to love to wait until the last minute to approve my dh's vacation. It was like a little game and it was maddening. One time we had to reschedule when my son got swine flu and it was 11:00 the night before we were due to leave the boss finally gave the okay. He had no sympathy that our son had gotten swine flu and never asked a thing if he was okay, it was just an incovenience for him to okay a new vacation request. And it was so easy for him to act like that, he was thousands of miles away and it so much easier to be a jerk when you know you don't have to look that person in the eye aftewards.

Good luck, I am keeping my fingers crossed!

 

[Debbie Jean]

Maybe the boss is working on some behind the scenes stuff to see if he can save the vacation, and isn't responding until he hears from others.

That was my thought as well... fingers crossed and sending good thoughts your way

 

[RadioFanatic]

Well, it's the day before we are supposed to leave and still no word. We are acting like we are all going unless we get an explicit no from his boss. Wish us luck!

 

[mhsjax]

Well, it's the day before we are supposed to leave and still no word. We are acting like we are all going unless we get an explicit no from his boss. Wish us luck!

Good luck, please keep us posted. I actually had forgotten about this, and then I saw an update. I have to know how it turns out for you and your family.

 

[Debbie Jean]

Well, it's the day before we are supposed to leave and still no word. We are acting like we are all going unless we get an explicit no from his boss. Wish us luck!

I'm sending positive thoughts your way!

 

[robinb]

Pixie dust is on the way!