Vent and PSA

[design_mom]

I am really sorry for what your family is going through. It sounds like you've had a really rough year, and I don't blame you for wanting to stay in for NYE. I think one of the biggest problems with social media is that a lot of people post first and think later (if at all). While I can see her being disappointed if your cancellation affected her plans, regardless of the validity of your reasons, it was inappropriate of her to complain about you on social media. I hope this was a case of "Open mouth. Insert foot." on her part.

You haven't really said much about your relationship with her beyond this, but it sounds like her husband has been a good friend to you and your husband for 30 years. You said he was "your rock" during your husband's hospital stays, and it seems like he wouldn't have been able to do that without the support of his wife. It sounds like others have already informed her that she behaved inappropriately. Hopefully she'll apologize, especially if you tell her that she really hurt your feelings. But, I guess I'd suggest giving yourself (and her) a cooling off period before you make any permanent decisions. Thirty years of friendship is a lot to throw away over a single hurtful comment said in a moment of frustration. In my experience, it's very difficult to maintain a relationship with one member of a "couple" if you actively dislike the other member of the couple.

 

[dragonrider2014]

They knew his sister just died and didn't understand you wouldn't be going out on NYE? Wow.

This, never mind all the other information in the OP, this alone should be reason enough for the so-called friends should be understanding.