vent/am I wrong?

[ucfsweetie82]

A friend and I were supposed to go to Disney today(Yes I am lucky enough to live close). We had talked about it Saturday and yesterday. So I got up, got dressed, and waited and waited and waited. I called her twice and texted her once all after 12pm. Finally at 1:30pm, I got tired of waiting and headed to AK by myself.
I just got home a little while ago, and saw she had posted about going to dinner with her family. I sent her a text saying I didn't appreciate being ditched and while I did not care she had changed her mind, I was upset that she didn't send a text saying that she no longer wished to go, and that was inconsiderate and immature.
Am I wrong or is common decency a thing of the past?

 

[dakcp2001]

I have a friend like that. It is so annoying, I cannot depend on her but I have known her so long. I am sorry your friend sucks. Yoou are not in the wrong, she owes you an apology. It would have taken her one second to text you saying she didnt want to go. Dont make plans with her, she is not reliable.

 

[daisyduck123]

No, you're not wrong.

(I would've called her after waiting 20 min. though...and not waited all day. If I hadn't been able to reach her, I would've just left). That sucks that you had to wait around like that. How did she respond to your text?

 

[dislaney]

A friend and I were supposed to go to Disney today(Yes I am lucky enough to live close). We had talked about it Saturday and yesterday. So I got up, got dressed, and waited and waited and waited. I called her twice and texted her once all after 12pm. Finally at 1:30pm, I got tired of waiting and headed to AK by myself.
I just got home a little while ago, and saw she had posted about going to dinner with her family. I sent her a text saying I didn't appreciate being ditched and while I did not care she had changed her mind, I was upset that she didn't send a text saying that she no longer wished to go, and that was inconsiderate and immature.
Am I wrong or is common decency a thing of the past?

Your not wrong. If someone makes plans and they can't make it - they should let you know. Common courtesy!

 

[ucfsweetie82]

Her response was(sarcastic) excuse me but I have been sleeping all day and haven't looked at my phone. I am sorry but if you know you have plans with someone set an alarm and if you are too tired say lets do it another day.

 

[MIGrandma]

I'm sorry, but I don't think she's much of a friend.

A friend doesn't sleep all day when they have plans that day with someone. Or if they do oversleep they call the person and say they're sorry but they're running late, need to take a raincheck or agree to meet later, something, anything. Her snarky text to you was extremely rude.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Her response was(sarcastic) excuse me but I have been sleeping all day and haven't looked at my phone. I am sorry but if you know you have plans with someone set an alarm and if you are too tired say lets do it another day.

How old is this "friend"? She sounds awful!

 

[ucfsweetie82]

she is in her twenties........I think this may be the final straw. There was another incident in October where I watched her son(almost 2) while she worked, and her bf wasn't considerate enough to call and say he would pick her up from work, so I woke him up from his nap and put him in the car seat which he hates, only to get there just in time to see her getting in the car with him, and they drove back to my house to transfer him to their car.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

she is in her twenties

Ditch her, she's no friend. If she overslept she should have called as soon as she woke up begging for forgiveness. If you have solid plans you don't just skip them.

 

[design_mom]

Sorry. That stinks.

Sadly, we had something similar happen recently. A neighbor called to arrange a playdate with my kids. We were leaving on vacation, but she wanted to set something up for the Monday after we arrived home. We set something up for Monday at 2pm, because we already had plans for the morning. She called Sunday night to confirm.

On Monday, we left our morning plans earlier than we would have liked (everyone was having a good time) so we could be home in time for the scheduled playdate which was to be at our house. We called down to their house to tell them we were home and no one answered. We called again 20 minutes later and nobody answered. An hour later, the mom called and said "sorry, we decided to go to the waterpark instead since it was a nice day."

I really don't care that they cancelled (it was *their* idea in the first place.) However, I am ticked that they didn't call me beforehand and tell me they wouldn't be there. My kids were quite disappointed -- both that their friends weren't coming and that we'd left the friends we spent the morning with so we could come home.

Argh.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

My BFF of many years was supposed to spend the day with me once. I took off work to spend the day with her. I know she's a late riser, so I got up late - not a problem

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

I called at Noon. I called at 1 and she was just waking up. She turned up at my house at 3:30PM and tried to say "well, we have the afternoon!" I informed her she had just cost me X dollars, as I could've gone into work for a half-day instead of wasting an entire day of what little time off I had. She apologized, finally, when she saw how mad I was and did seem to regret it.

She's still my BFF, but I no longer take days off work to be with her if I'm not happy just doing nothing, and I always have a backup plan in my head of things to do without her, just in case. On her end, she's reformed and if we're doing girl stuff, she's up and puttering at a reasonable, though not always early, hour.

I would reccomend explaining HOW and WHY her tardiness made your day bad, ("I'm angry because I could've been at AK for X hours today. Instead I spent X hours trying to get in touch with you." In the future, with this friend, I would simply say "I'll be leaving at X time. If you're not here, or I don't hear from you, I'll presume you've cancelled and I'll leave without you." And then do it without animosity or keeping score or even mentioning why you're doing this.

And yes, it is enough to make anyone .