vbs daycare problem no more solved..

[tasha99]

Well, you're in a pickle. You are, of course, correct; however, you've mixed friendship and business (hard not to do w/ home daycare). The parents agreed to VBS weeks ago and are now changing their mind, which is completely unfair to you. You can drop them from your daycare if they go back on their agreement, but you'll probably lose a friend as well.

(I used to have a licensed home daycare myself, and I took the kids on field trips all the time. I also had a contract that said parents paid in advance whether their kids attended or not. I don't think what the OP is doing is unreasonable at all. It may not be everyone's preference, but parents can make their own choices (or they could have back when they weren't up past the giving notice period for those weeks). My guess is that if you drop them as clients, you'll have those slots filled in a matter of days, especially since school's out.

 

[bookgirl]

I'm still trying to figure out why you want to get paid when you can't watch the kids.

Because they would still be dropped off with her then she would take all the kids to VBS. Technically they would still be with her and the parents would not have to arrange alternative care.

 

[MrsPete]

If I was the parent of the older kids, I would think it's a great experience and a great fun activity to do VBS

Anyone who has more than one child will tell you that sometimes you have to make choices that benefit one child more than the other:

The younger is dragged along to VBS -- even though he's too young to get much out of it -- because it's good for the big kid.
The older child is bored stiff sitting in the waiting room of the dance studio every week because his little sister is enjoying dance class.
The younger can't understand baseball yet, but he's forced to sit through game after game because his older sibling plays on the team.
The older child doesn't want to go see a Disney cartoon at the movies, but it's the younger child's turn to pick.

In a situation like this, I'd say go ahead and take the younger child. I agree that a two-year old isn't going to learn diddly-squat at VBS, but it also won't hurt him to play on the playground and sing some new songs. In the meantime, it could turn out to be very meaningful for the older sibling.

 

[golfgal]

All this running around you guys are talking about just isn't done where I live. I don't think licensed providers are even allowed to do that here. I know I wouldn't have wanted my son hauled all over town while the provider ran errands and did all kinds of things. And I liked her in-home environment. They did crafts, had activities, took naps, even watched TV (oh the horrors! LOL). They were in a HOME environment. I wouldn't have appreciated them being in a car most of the day!

Plus my son didn't respond well to different situations. He needed to be in a structured environment, and this was perfect for him.

My sitter, who has watched five out of six of my kids, has never taken them in her car. She keeps tham in her home. They do all that the previous poster does and they are fine. I am fine. I never have to worry wher my kids are. They are safe and sound at her house. No drop offs, pick ups, etc. That is the reason that five out of six had her. THe oldest had a a sitter that tried to fit in her day care kids into her SAHM life. She was always on the road. I never knew where my children were. She was constantly taking her sons to some event, practice, lesson, play date etc. My son "tagged" along. Finally, I got sick of being worried sick and I pulled him out. The sitter I have now (until next week when my youngest goes off to school full time) is someone who runs a daycare like a paid job and gives it 100%. I am her emploryer and she puts my kids first. All activities, errands, and other day to day stuff done when the kids leave. I would be floored if she said " I am taking the week to teach VCBS" and your kids can come but if you don't want them to, I still need to get paid". I just could not imagine.

I guess we will have to agree to disagree then because if it were my kids in daycare 12 hours/day I would WANT them to get out of the house, go to t-ball practice, go play at the park, do the things I would do with them if I were home (and did with them because I was home with them). It sounds like you are happy having your kids stuck at someone's home for 12 hours/day doing the same thing day after day.

I also don't understand that you trust someone enough to watch your child 12 hours/day but you don't trust them to drive them to t-ball practice .

 

[ehstrojette]

ok first off the original plan was for the 2 yr old to stay at the grandparents while the 12 yr old went to VBS with me. then I would pick up the 2 yr old and leave the 12 yr old and she would spend the rest of the day with grandpa.

Secondly I told them if the 12 yr old wasnt gonna go that we have a clas for 2 and 3 yr olds, with crafts, bible study,recreation, snacks ect.. just like a regular VBS.

Thirdly ALL of the teachers and anyone who works with children at our church has had a extensive background check, we have security procedures, walkie talkie and door alarms. it is a safe place for any child and alot of fun.

the most important thing is I am a great daycare provider and I resent people saying I am not. I didnt ask to be put down and made to look like a horrible person. I am sought after for all the fun things we do.. library outing, museums, swimming ect. I also teach kids using hooked on phonics, flash cards homework help ect. I run my daycare from 6:30-5:30 and everyday I watch the #2 parents later to accomidate her. I run her kids to ball games cause they start before she gets here, I fix them dinner if she is gonna be late and I dont get paid any extra. I do it because I love the kids and what I do. Times are tough right now and i depend on my money so asking for 2 week notice if a parent goes on vacation or in this case decides to get someone to watch them for this week is not uncommon. If I let this parent slide then it will happen again or with another family. I already give her a discount since her pay got cut at work but wont do it again since my kind things come back to bite me in the butt.

My husband said he would watch them tues and friday morning and the dad will be home on monday before he gets called out to take a load up north so it is 2 days they will need to find someone or let them go with me. They will be talking about it and getting back with me but I will charge them full time drop in rates for the 2 days they will be here so I will only lose out on 40 bucks.

Thank you to everyone who stood up for me. This is the kids first summer here and now I have to decide what to do this summer since I will have to stay home. I think I will have them tell me if the decide to keep the kids at home(which happens once a week or so) then I will take the other ones on a field trip that day

 

[Va-bear]

If I am paying you to take care of my kid then that is what you need to be doing. That is your first priority.........I don't want my child to be a secondary job.

I agree 100% with this.

Volunteer work is a job - you have taken one job while being paid for another - no where in the professional world is that allowed, especially when it comes to children, especially when it comes to toddlers.

Plain and simple, for whatever part of the day it is (1/2 hour is too much) you will not be watching the child/children you are paid to watch - that is simply wrong, in my opinoin.

And it is a shame they at first agreed, but when paying for a service people are allowed to change their mind, especially when it comes to things they consider safety issues. What if the mom drove to the church to check it out and didn't like what she saw? You dont know why they changed their mind. As a paid provider, if you dont have a contract stating they agree to your doing volunteer work during the time you are supposed to be watching you kids, then they have a right to disagree.

 

[justhat]

Okay, what I don't understand is that if the original plan was for the 2yo to stay with the grandparents, assuming original meant 6 weeks ago when you asked them, why you want to be paid now if they leave the 2yo with the grandparents as planned? Seems as though they told you 6 weeks ago that the 2yo would not be doing VBS so I don't see what the problem is at this point?

Is VBS free at your church? If not, I am assuming the parents are paying? If it is free, are the parents geting a discounted rate since you won't be watching their kids for 3 hours each day? The reason I ask is that if you do ask the parents of the 2yo to pay you for the week, you should at least discount those hours that you wouldn't have been watching the child anyway.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I don't think anybody said you were not a good person or a loving child-care provider.

There is simply disagreement on whether or not you teaching VBS is a childcare service that you should charge for.

I think it is way way way over the line.

If I had a two year old, I would also be upset by what is going on.

I certainly would never have put my son in a VBS all week.
And, I do not think that there are ANY circumstances by which it is okay for a paid childcare provider to ever expect the parents of a two year old to think it is okay, and to actually PAY for childcare during that time.

Why you think you should get paid for your job as a childcare provider while spending a week working at VBS is completely and totally beyond my comprehension.

Something tells me that as soon as these parents find a provider who can give more professional and age appropriate consideration for a two year old, you will no longer be this family's child-care provider, and possibly no longer a 'friend'.

 

[Aristomommy]

OP- I think as long as you are upfront with the parents that you are a daycare provider who takes the children on outings, this would be a good idea. Of course as long as the VBS didn't conflict with anyone's religious views, but this doesn't seem to be the case. My mom was an at home daycare provider for years and she would take the children on many fun outings never charging extra for transportation, admission etc. It sounds like you wanted to plan a fun week for the kids and once everyone agreed, the second family changed their minds. If it was me changing my mind, I would expect to pay for the week and find alternate child care.

I don't think the volunteer work was the main point of the VBS. Since the OP agreed to be involved with the younger kids class, she definately wanted to be with the children she watched.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Okay, what I don't understand is that if the original plan was for the 2yo to stay with the grandparents, assuming original meant 6 weeks ago when you asked them, why you want to be paid now if they leave the 2yo with the grandparents as planned? Seems as though they told you 6 weeks ago that the 2yo would not be doing VBS so I don't see what the problem is at this point?

Doesn't matter....
The OP still seems to think that she should get paid.

 

[Aristomommy]

Why you think you should get paid for your job as a childcare provider while spending a week working at VBS is completely and totally beyond my comprehension.

Something tells me that as soon as these parents find a provider who can give more professional and age appropriate consideration for a two year old, you will no longer be this families child-care provider, and possibly no longer a 'friend'.

I think that just as the OP takes the kids to the library or other events, this is another event she wanted to expose the children to. Since she can't be with all ages at the same time, she agreed to help in the class with the younger ones. The older ones would be more comfortable leaving her and enjoying the week with friends (or making new friends).

As a working mom, my kids sometimes miss daytime events in the summer time because I can't take them. I have a wonderful summer time babysitter that will take them and drop them off and while they are supervised by the program people, I still pay the babysitter. I appreciate that she can be there for me and my kids get to experience something fun.

 

[Wishing on a star]

And, I say bull-malarky....

A week of VBS is not a little trip the library, park, .....
And we are talking about two year old and a preschooler.

I very highly doubt that either of these parents were begging her to sign their kids up for VBS.... It is very clear that this is NOT the case....
In fact, it is very obvious that the opposite is true.

She obviously presented it to the parents as 'what she was wanting to go ahead and do'. (she 'told' them.... she 'reminded' them... etc...)

She left the parents of a two year old seeking other arrangements for their child for the week.....
THIS, SHE NEVER NEVER SHOULD HAVE DONE.

She still expects them to pay....

And, they are making HER mad.

Sometimes I wonder what alternate universe people are living in.

 

[ehstrojette]

Doesn't matter....
The OP still seems to think that she should get paid.

I would still have the 2 yr old for another 5 hrs.. anything over 4 hrs is a full day.. If you didnt get my message above I already discount them about 50 bucks a week. I watch them for 100 a week for the both of them.. 20 bucks a day for 2 bucks a hr 1 buck per child an hour. normal is 100 per week and 150 for siblings so yes I would still want to be paid.

and also it was their idea to find someone to watch the 2 yr old so their 12 yr old could go instead.. I normally dont watch the 12 yr old unless one of my other kids is out sick so I still would be watching 2 of her kids all day

 

[disneyjunkie]

OP, are you a licensed provider?

 

[lillygator]

why the change in title???

the story has me confused since at first it was VBS all around and then it was the baby would be with the grandparents...not sure which is the one.

 

[phorsenuf]

Ok here is the scoop. I watch 4 daycarekids. 2 sets of siblings

my oldest are 5 and 10
the next set are 2 and 5

well we have had VBS set up for over a month, have asked both sets of parents about going and even told them I would be teaching the 4 and 5 yr old class so I would have 2 out of 4 kids with me plus my own son in my class.

well for the past 2 weeks I have reminding them about it and everything has been fine.....

Today I was talking to my set#2 parents about wether the 2 yr old was going or if they were gonna find someone to watch him so their older duaghter who is 12 could go.. he tells me that he doesnt want me to commute with them and wants me to stay home to watch them

I told him I had to go and that they have known about it for about 6 weeks and said it was fine before I told the people at church I could teach the class. Bear in mind I take the older 2 kids to church on some sunday nights and occasionally meet their mom at her work place if I need to be somewhere or she needs to do something after work.

I also told them that if he decided to get someone to watch them next week he would still have to pay me my fee.. Am I being out of line for telling them that??

Just in case

 

[Missy1961]

Just in case

thanks.

 

[lillygator]

you rule follower you!

 

[phorsenuf]

you rule follower you!

Psst. I was actually the one that started that rule.

 

[disykat]

Sometimes I wonder what alternate universe people are living in.

Sometimes those of us who are on the OP's side of this (and there are a whole lot of us) wonder the same about you. I think it's time to sheath your claws for the evening. Good Grief!

I'm sure since the family decided they no longer want a flexible, family style daycare, they'll move on and both can find placements they'll be happier with.