Vacationing with one child at a time - anyone else do this?

[catfan98]

How many of you have vacationed with just one of your children at a time? I am such a stickler about being fair between my kids...like I make sure I spend the exact same amount on each of them at Christmas, birthdays, etc. My son will be 16 next month and my daughter is almost 23 and I have never taken a trip with only 1 of them before and I am feeling kind of bad about even thinking about doing it. BUT, we do a lot as a family and I would like to take a "girls trip" with my daughter before she starts her career and won't have time off for a while (at least a year). We went to Disney as a family last December (we've been 3 times total) and we just went to the beach as a family (my FIL lives there so yay for free stays, lol) at the beginning of June. The girls trip would be a quick 3 day trip to Disney. My son says he doesn't care if we go plus I told him I would take a couple of days off of work before he goes back to school for just me and him to do something fun - whatever he chooses. I guess I'm just wondering who else does this, or if anyone else does this. I'm sure other people do and I am just being silly, but I'm such a worrier, lol.

 

[HopperFan]

Have three and I do it all the time - started doing it when youngest was in high school.

Samples:
Spring break and birthday trips to beach with DD / Mardi Gras 3x with DS2 / Disney lots with DS1.

I don't count what is spent as each trip is different and more in tune to what they enjoy doing. Even my DH has taken DD and DS2 on trips alone ... and day trips with DS1. DH took DS2 to Italy for college trip and DD to Tokyo (including Disney) for her college trip.

I think it's a great way for each kid to feel special and get one-on-one time (I call them only child trips) with a parent. This keeps cost down when only two go AND it means kids can do something they really want to do vs being drug along on a trip they might not want to do. Actually increases everyone's amount of travel time. My kids love it.

PS We also did full family trips over the years but that has become harder with all adults with jobs etc. Usually it's 3 or 4 of us.

 

[catfan98]

Have three and I do it all the time - started doing it when youngest was in high school.

Samples:
Spring break and birthday trips to beach with DD / Mardi Gras 3x with DS2 / Disney lots with DS1.

I don't count what is spent as each trip is different and more in tune to what they enjoy doing. Even my DH has taken DD and DS2 on trips alone ... and day trips with DS1. DH took DS2 to Italy for college trip and DD to Tokyo (including Disney) for her college trip.

I think it's a great way for each kid to feel special and get one-on-one time (I call them only child trips) with a parent. This keeps cost down when only two go AND it means kids can do something they really want to do vs being drug along on a trip they might not want to do. Actually increases everyone's amount of travel time. My kids love it.

PS We also did full family trips over the years but that has become harder with all adults with jobs etc. Usually it's 3 or 4 of us.

Thank you for the insight, Hopper. Fabulous explanation of how you do it!!

 

[Sleepy425]

I have four kids. Last summer I took two to Disney, then my husband took the other two to Disney. My husband often only takes 2 to our vacation house in VT. This year I'm taking just two to New Hampshire, while my husband stays home with two. Next year I'm taking two to Disney in Jan, then 2 weeks later taking the other two. In May I'm taking my oldest alone for his special 10th birthday trip, and we will continue that tradition with each of the kids when they turn 10.
With 4 kids, it's harder to take them alone (because one parent being home with 3 that need to get places can be hard), but we split up into smaller groups whenever possible.

 

[Colleen27]

We've done vacations in just about every grouping imaginable - just me and DH, DH & DS, me and my girls, one on one with all three of the kids, etc. in addition to traveling as a family. When they were young, varying interests and abilities drove those choices. Now that they're older, schedules and adult responsibilities do as well.

I tend to look at fairness over the long haul, not in snapshots of a single trip or year. DS had a lot of fun times with us when he was an only and spontaneity was more practical; he also had more frequent trips because his interests were just plain cheaper, and got to bring a friend along more often when older DD was little because we wanted him to have a peer to enjoy amusement parks, waterparks and such with when she was tiny. Older DD was a tagalong to DS's interests when she was little but got a whole bunch of just-us trips because she knew she wanted to go out of state for college, so we did a lot of campus visits. Younger DD, who is 7 & 10 years younger than her siblings, is just now coming into her turn - DS is working full time and would rather spend his limited vacation time with friends and older DD is getting ready to head off to college on the opposite side of the country, so younger DD is going to be an only child for many of our travels in the next few years.

 

[Meriweather]

Well, it isn't even here. DD and I do girls trips and have for years, but DS and I don't do trips just the two of us.
They are both adults and he has a family so harder to do now.

 

[georgina]

Took each of my DDs to WDW when they were 14. DS wasn't interested, but he and DH have done a few shorter fishing trips over the years. Now that they are grown, we do some family trips, and others with one or two, whoever is available.

 

[wenrob]

I have done girls trips to Disneyland with my oldest. I plan on doing solo trips with each of the younger two as well, just haven’t figured out how yet. Can’t do solo birthday trips as they have the same birthday. It will probably be DS first as younger DD has gone on solo trips with her choir class.

I’m like you with the whole “fair” thing. The younger two are twins so I’ve always tried to make everything even with them. I’m finally starting to realize it’s something I can’t keep up indefinitely. They get that sometimes one gets this and the next time the other might get that. Still, it’s hard for me to execute.

 

[DietCoke18]

I would love to do this when my kids are older. We have 2 so it seems like it would be easy to plan. They are too young now but would def do it in the future

 

[Sleepy425]

I have done girls trips to Disneyland with my oldest. I plan on doing solo trips with each of the younger two as well, just haven’t figured out how yet. Can’t do solo birthday trips as they have the same birthday. It will probably be DS first as younger DD has gone on solo trips with her choir class.

I’m like you with the whole “fair” thing. The younger two are twins so I’ve always tried to make everything even with them. I’m finally starting to realize it’s something I can’t keep up indefinitely. They get that sometimes one gets this and the next time the other might get that. Still, it’s hard for me to execute.

I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to do this with my twins when they turn 10. I hate doing things together with them, I want them to get alone time. So I will probably do two trips.

 

[wenrob]

I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to do this with my twins when they turn 10. I hate doing things together with them, I want them to get alone time. So I will probably do two trips.

We all do “dates” with them individually. When they were little they would be beside themselves if the other was gone so we purposefully started taking them out separately which was way harder when they were small. Now they’re like, “Bye.” I won’t give up our family vacations so any solo trips would be a good portion of time in between them. That’s where I’m stuck. Who has to wait several months? I wish they’d get around to building that high speed train they’ve been talking about for years then we could do day trips.

 

[Kae]

When DD was younger and did not ski DH would take DS to Colorado & I would take DD to FL. We also went on a few trips with DS's friends families and DD would stay with the grandparents because there was not kids her age.


Kae

 

[barkley]

we've done several w/ just dh, ds and i. if ds didn't have issues with staying home alone overnite (asd) dh and i would probably tend to do more traveling alone but it is what it is. dd moved out on her own during her 2nd year of college and between her classes, jobs (college jobs so no paid time off) it's only been practical for her to go with us on one trip over the past several years. she has no issue with it-i honestly don't think she has a single friend, despite most now graduated and with jobs that offer paid time off, who vacation with their parents, even ds (22) feels awkward about going with us but he's more comfortable with it than staying at home alone so he goes along and makes the best of it.

i don't ever recall any of my sibs vacationing w/my parents after they became adults (and left home). i think the last trip i ever did with them i was maybe 17(?) but then again, they weren't big travelers (not that we are as compared to most of this board).

that said-dd will go with us this winter to florida. we are doing 10 days and made the offer to include her several months ago when we knew she would have plenty of time to stockpile vacation days/get advance approval. it's a 'big' trip for us and unlikely to happen again for 5 or more years so since it works out for all of us to go we extended the invitation.

I tend to look at fairness over the long haul,

i try not to invest too much into the 'fairness' aspect. my kids will have different needs at different times. ds isn't as aware of costing as dd is but she isn't comparing what she gets from us vs. what her brother gets. my mom kind of drove me nuts with the whole 'fairness' thing, she was dogged about it-there were times in my adult life when myself or a sibling was having struggles and it would not have bothered any of the rest of us sibs if mom had done something extra for the one(s) in need even to the extent of it creating a financial need for her to forego providing us with holiday/bday gifts but she was so convinced that we were all mentally calculating penny for penny she wouldn't dare unless she could do the same for everyone at the same time.

 

[Skippy918]

Dh plus some of his friends took ds on a hiking/ canyoneering trip last year to Zion NP. I stayed home w dd since she was too young to do that sort of thing.
If I had more pto, I would consider more trips, but I like going places as a family. Dd did get a trip to grandma’s this summer and is having a lot of fun.

 

[elaine amj]

I love one on one trips! I think they are so important for the kids and I always try to take advantage of any opportunity. Now it tends to come by pretty rare as we like doing stuff as a family. Still they are an invaluable time to get kids to open up and to really concentrate on only that one child for a decent length of time.

I tend to do a lot of stuff one on one with DD17 just because we like a lot of the same things. I struggle sometimes to find stuff to do with my son, especially as he gets older. Last year I felt we were long overdue so I took DS16 to the zoo for an almost impromptu daytrip. It was so much fun hanging out with him. He had fun indulging his mother

I do try to split up for various one on one times during our trips. Especially now the kids are older. Last Disney trip, DD and I went off on multiple early morning rope drops while the boys slept in. Then I carefully scheduled a mother son date night where DS and I watched the fireworks from the TTC, laughed at the silly bears in Country Bear Jamboree, and he held my hand as we raced up the empty ramps for yet another ride on BTMR right before closing. On a different night, I sent DH and DD17 off to MK together and they had a blast on their date

I am not one that aims for fairness though. Like I tell my kids, they are both dearly loved and each gets what they need when they need it and both also get spoiled at different times. One time we were on a Universal trip and DS (maybe 14/15 at the time) and I stayed back for an extra night. We had soooo much fun those two days. That year I had planned to fit in a one on one trip with my DD as well but sadly life happened and it didn't work out. She was a bit bummed (so was I!) but understood. After all, we do a ton of one on one things together and there are many times I spend on stuff for her that I don't for her brother.

I was the kid endlessly whining about things being "unfair!" in my mind so I really worked hard to avoid my kids keeping a running tally. And frankly, I am too lazy to be completely fair lol.

 

[elaine amj]

my mom kind of drove me nuts with the whole 'fairness' thing, she was dogged about it-there were times in my adult life when myself or a sibling was having struggles and it would not have bothered any of the rest of us sibs if mom had done something extra for the one(s) in need even to the extent of it creating a financial need for her to forego providing us with holiday/bday gifts but she was so convinced that we were all mentally calculating penny for penny she wouldn't dare unless she could do the same for everyone at the same time.

Ack - that would drive me crazy too. Thankfully my mother isn't like that. My brother has had more financial struggles than I and so she has helped him out a whole lot more. I am just happy she was able to help him when he needed. I have zero issues with knowing that she has gifted him far more money than she has gifted me. She is already more generous with me than I want and I often plead with her to give me less extravagant gifts.

 

[Magical2017]

So far all of our trips have been together. That may change in the future.

 

[scrapquitler]

How many of you have vacationed with just one of your children at a time? I am such a stickler about being fair between my kids...like I make sure I spend the exact same amount on each of them at Christmas, birthdays, etc. My son will be 16 next month and my daughter is almost 23 and I have never taken a trip with only 1 of them before and I am feeling kind of bad about even thinking about doing it. BUT, we do a lot as a family and I would like to take a "girls trip" with my daughter before she starts her career and won't have time off for a while (at least a year). We went to Disney as a family last December (we've been 3 times total) and we just went to the beach as a family (my FIL lives there so yay for free stays, lol) at the beginning of June. The girls trip would be a quick 3 day trip to Disney. My son says he doesn't care if we go plus I told him I would take a couple of days off of work before he goes back to school for just me and him to do something fun - whatever he chooses. I guess I'm just wondering who else does this, or if anyone else does this. I'm sure other people do and I am just being silly, but I'm such a worrier, lol.

go on the trip with DD and don't worry about it.

 

[catfan98]

Update - My daughter and I are going on the Disney girls trip at the end of the month! I have also made plans to take off work for a couple of days before school starts to spend some time with my son - he hasn't decided what we're doing yet though. Thanks everyone, for the input/information/etc.

 

[Lynn CC]

I went on a Tokyo Disney trip with DS in 2011. I only have one child, but we left DH at home! So glad I did, some great memories. Now he's married with 3 sons of his own. We do family Disney trips together now, making new memories.