Vacationing with one child at a time - anyone else do this?

[FlightlessDuck]

Well, my son and I went the two of Baltimore overnight to see an Orioles game.

My wife and I went to a FBS bowl game without our son: our daughter was there with her college band.

But generally speaking we haven't gone vacationing with only one child. Not really.

But you do you.

 

[jrmasm]

I don’t worry about fairness. Life isn’t fair.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Come to think of it, anyone with just one child vacations with one child at a time.

We go as a family.

 

[RangerPooh]

DH and I have been discussing doing this. With 4 kids trips become very expensive. Our oldest is entering high school and is participating in colorguard, and we already know that her event schedule will conflict with many of our proposed trips. So we're looking at spending much of the next year without her. Ya it will suck, but not the end of the world. We're also looking at cruising with only 2 kids at a time. We just need to identify how to keep the balance without making the non-trip kids feel left out.

 

[amberpi]

If you have interests that are shared with one child or just want to be able to have special one on one time, I think that's lovely.

 

[mousefan73]

How many of you have vacationed with just one of your children at a time? I am such a stickler about being fair between my kids...like I make sure I spend the exact same amount on each of them at Christmas, birthdays, etc. My son will be 16 next month and my daughter is almost 23 and I have never taken a trip with only 1 of them before and I am feeling kind of bad about even thinking about doing it. BUT, we do a lot as a family and I would like to take a "girls trip" with my daughter before she starts her career and won't have time off for a while (at least a year). We went to Disney as a family last December (we've been 3 times total) and we just went to the beach as a family (my FIL lives there so yay for free stays, lol) at the beginning of June. The girls trip would be a quick 3 day trip to Disney. My son says he doesn't care if we go plus I told him I would take a couple of days off of work before he goes back to school for just me and him to do something fun - whatever he chooses. I guess I'm just wondering who else does this, or if anyone else does this. I'm sure other people do and I am just being silly, but I'm such a worrier, lol.

Don’t take this the wrong way but I’m pretty sure your DS is more than happy when the two of you are out of the house. Freedom lol!

 

[Monykalyn]

Dh plus some of his friends took ds on a hiking/ canyoneering trip last year to Zion NP. I stayed home w dd since she was too young to do that sort of thing.
If I had more pto, I would consider more trips, but I like going places as a family. Dd did get a trip to grandma’s this summer and is having a lot of fun.

A few years ago oldest dd and I sat behind a father taking his sons on a ski trip to Colorado ( flying to see a college in Boulder). Omg the the lil guy was a talker and hilarious! Think he was 6? Got his whole life story, including how mom was home with his baby sister, and how she (mom) didn’t seem sad that she was missing ski trip that year, and that his best friend and dad were going to meet them at the ski house etc. dd and I were I stitches (dad kept trying to get him to be quiet and stop bothering us- he wasn’t loud at all and we were truly enjoying his personality). Gee I think mom may have been grateful “only” having an infant to take care of for a few days Your story reminded me of that! And my kids love going to grandmas just by themselves too!
We’ve done lots of family trips but dynamics do change as kids get older.
And yep- have taken the oldest two on several mom/dtr trips. In fact middle and I going back for our second HHN trip this fall. Now that the oldest is off on college adventure and her internships/travel we also have taken “family” vacations without her- that to me was weirder being family of four (instead of five) than just two of us.
My middle has been struggling with some depression, and the mom/dtr trips where she can set the agenda and we can talk without siblings or dad have helped a lot too.
Our son will be an only child for four years so he will get his time with just mom and dad.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

One time DD went with high school marching band to England, DH went with the group and DS and I went to visit my brother in CT for NYE. That was a special situation.

But, when they were going to summer camp for a week, I made sure they went separate weeks so I had 2 weeks of only children and no sibling fighting

 

[Skippy918]

One time DD went with high school marching band to England, DH went with the group and DS and I went to visit my brother in CT for NYE. That was a special situation.

But, when they were going to summer camp for a week, I made sure they went separate weeks so I had 2 weeks of only children and no sibling fighting

My dd recently got back from spending 2 weeks at grandma’s. I only had ds and it was so quiet. He’s 10 and fairly independent and spent his after camp hours reading. The no fighting was so nice.

 

[tvguy]

When our kids were kids we went everywhere together on vacation. They are 28 and 32 now, and even now, the 28 year old went on vacation with us in March. The 32 year old and his wife went on vacation with us as recently as 3 years ago.
But some people take vacations apart from their spouses too. Different strokes I guess, but after 37 years of marriage I still LIKE to spent time with my wife. So I just don't get that.

 

[firefly_ris]

My DH's parents would take each of their 4 kids on a one-on-one vacation when they made their Communion and then again when they made their Confirmation. It was a way for them to get more intimate, less chaotic time with each child. So we are also starting this with our kids. My daughter made her Communion last month and so next week I'm taking her down to my parents in MD so she and I and my mother can spend a few days in Ocean City together. My husband or I will do the same with the other two. They aren't full on, week long high budget vacations but I think will be good.

 

[soccerdad72]

But some people take vacations apart from their spouses too. Different strokes I guess, but after 37 years of marriage I still LIKE to spent time with my wife. So I just don't get that.

Those two things are not mutually exclusive. People who take vacations apart from their spouses (or kids) don't generally dislike spending time with them.

 

[tvguy]

Those two things are not mutually exclusive. People who take vacations apart from their spouses (or kids) don't generally dislike spending time with them.

Well, if that's the case, I'm even more confused. I look forward to vacation so I can spent time with my wife.

 

[tcufrog]

i try not to invest too much into the 'fairness' aspect. my kids will have different needs at different times. ds isn't as aware of costing as dd is but she isn't comparing what she gets from us vs. what her brother gets. my mom kind of drove me nuts with the whole 'fairness' thing, she was dogged about it-there were times in my adult life when myself or a sibling was having struggles and it would not have bothered any of the rest of us sibs if mom had done something extra for the one(s) in need even to the extent of it creating a financial need for her to forego providing us with holiday/bday gifts but she was so convinced that we were all mentally calculating penny for penny she wouldn't dare unless she could do the same for everyone at the same time.

A few years ago, I attended a back to school talk given by the head of my sons' school. Before the beginning of the talk he showed on a screen an image similar to this one but without the words. He spoke about how at the school he and the staff never talked about "fairness" because they were striving to meet each kids' needs instead of always treating each kid the same way. For example, what would be an effective consequence for one child may not be the right one for another child. Another example he brought up was the fact that the 5th grade math teacher taught the kids multiple ways to do complex multiplication problems, not because she expected the kids to learn each method, but because the method that makes sense to Sally may not work for Sam.

I wish I had recorded that talk because it had a profound effect on how I parent my kids. I came home from the talk and showed the graphic to my family and we discussed it. To my surprise, my kids grasped what the image was teaching immediately and agreed with it. Now we talk about how they're each different and how cool it is that they are similar in some ways and different in others and how that will lead to different choices for each of them.