UPDATE!!! Worried about my Special Needs Child Missing School

[triplefigs]

Ok, I could really use the advice of the parents on this board who know EXACTLY why I'm concerned about taking my kids out of school for a week in Sept. We are in a school district that is VERY strict about missing school, doesn't allow time for family vacations, and will send a letter and/or a social worker to the house for missed days. Here is some additional info to help.

We have a trip planned for Sept 23-30 or a backup for Dec 15-22. I am so worried about taking DS out of school for 5 days in September. He has CP, ADHD, OCD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, tons of medical issues. he gets PT, OT, Speech. We're in the middle of testing for his IEP now. He should be in a mainstream classroom but pulled out for Resource (probably reading and language arts). He does fairly well socially, and he definitely responds to structure, continuity, and consistency.

My DS gets sick a lot. He has surgeries several times a year. DS got very sick at the end of our trip in Dec due to too much stress on his little body. Over the past three weeks he has started refluxing again (he had horrible GERD as from birth and was hospitalized for months at a time, was on feeding tubes, didn't eat anything orally, had to have a Nissen Fundoplication). Well, the Ped is sending us to the GI doc in 2 weeks cause he thinks the Fundo has loosened up. That surgery is MAJOR as DS has to have the open type (not lap). It would require him to get a feeding tube again temporarily. Also he had surgery on his foot 15 months ago for a tendon release, and it is tight again. So that is definitely another surgery this year. (He's already had 2 ENT surgeries since December). He misses so much school for being sick legitimately, that DH and I are very concerned about adding 5 more days of vacation.

It takes DS a couple of weeks to settle into any new routine. If he misses too much, it completely throws him off. So we are concerned that if he misses the 8th week of school, it may take him another 3 weeks to settle back into the routine and then we're in the middle of Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.

The advantages of going in September are low crowds. He definitely does better when it is not packed, the weather would be warm (he has problems regulating his body temp and gets really cold), and the park is open later allowing for long afternoon breaks. It would make the trip much more enjoyable for him and us. As far as December, he wouldn't miss any school, and he would have plenty of down before classes resumed in January. It will be much more crowded and longer lines. We try to go early, use the FP and GAC for alternative waiting places, but the crowds and wait times will likely be an issue.

So, we are going to keep both reservations, but we need some input on deciding which one to take. I don't know anyone who has a child in the school now with special needs to ask, and I don't want to approach the Principal before he is even enrolled. thanks for reading this far and for any help.

 

[Schmeck]

How about an end of summer trip? If you go back to school in September, then an end of August trip might be better for you. It's about the same weather in August and September down there, and a lot of the southern schools have already started.

Big hugs to you and your son and family - sounds like a lot of 'stuff' will be happening for him, and I wish you all the best! (PS - my cousin's baby sounds like she has the same eating issues as your son - I'm off to look up some of the info you mentioned, thanks!)

 

[michelle9343]

I have a few ideas. If you are really worried about him missing school I would go in Dec. The first part of the trip the crowds wont be to bad. It doesn't get crazy untill 23rd usually and it is peak from Christmas to New Years. The weather would be much better( might get cold a night)Sept you have to worry about all of our lovely storms and much warmer weather. But it sounds to me that you might want Sept. I have always felt that family vactions are the most important part of life. I have a child who misses more school then she goes to but still will take her out for vacation. But I am in a little different boat so to speak. She is very low functioning and goes to a self contained special school. So not going doesn't effect her.She learns a lot more from us then she does at school. So that being said I know it is easier for me to say , just take him out of school.Does the cold effect him more then the heat? I know this will be a really hard decision so hang in there. It sounds like you have a ton to deal with .

 

[IAMJESSICARABBIT]

it is like you are writing about my life and my ds. i have a 7 year old with cp, add, adhd, ocd, ASD. he also gets pt ot speech 2 days a week each. he too has had about 5 surgerys since birth and has had feeding problems too. we are leaving in 19 days (yippie!!!!!!!!) that means the week after we get back from sring break, he comes back for 2 days and then will miss the following 5. not to mention that we are leaving the day after they start giving a standarized test which he will only be there for 1 day of a 3 day test. he will have to make up the other 2 the days after we land the following tuesday night at midnightno less. the kid is going to be out on his feet the next day at school. my son is mainstreamed in first grade with a aid. DH and i had some serious problems with taking him out. but our theory is that seeing how our kids go through so much through out the year that a family vacation in disney is just what they need to have fun and not worry about all the day to day stuff that goes on in there life. my son has only missed 1 day of school this entire year so far which by the way is a freak of nature for us so missing the 5 days should be no problem other then the test issue. if your ds starts school in sept. then going then would be ideal seeing how school doesn't really start until like the second week. and if your ds has temp control issues then dec might not be the best choice seeing how it gets kind of chilly down there. we went when i was like 7 and went with shorts the week after x-mas and had to buy all new clothes because it was chilly especialy at night.

just a note off the disney path - my son has also had the surgery on his legs and had botox as well and always got tight again. so we decided to get that spine surgery that loosens him up prem. we flew him out to St. Louis to the the best doctor in the country that does the surgery. stayed there for about 2 weeks. it worked. he ould hardly walk in his walker before and now that is all he uses at school but still uses his wheelchair for long distances like disney. the surgery was a success for one of my friends that went out there after we came back and she saw the difference. and insrance payed for everything , we got $5 a day ronald mcdonald's house that is right across the street from hospital, as well as we got free after that was donated by a orginization that flies kids for surgery. if you would like details or even need to talk to someone that is going through almost exactly what your are please feel free to contact me at jess11099 @aol i would love to hear from you

 

[Soccerpooh]

My 11 year old son is MIMH and has an IEP. We have pulled him out of school for vacations in the past, but our school district is not real strict on this. I have always felt that his education plan is so individualized that missing 4 or 5 days of school is not detrimental to his education. He works at his own pace, and assignments are adapted for him. Therefore, if I give the school plenty of notice, they are able to accomidate a little vacation. I always offer to take work with us, and they usually send a little, but nothing major. I guess from an instructional stand point, a child with an IEP has an easier time with making up work from missed school. To address the "emotional" aspect of your son miss a week of school after, that is really hard to say. Do you think he will have a hard time seperating from you when school starts? If so, than 7 days with Mom and Dad after 7 weeks of being "left" at school may confuse him. But on the other hand, you are going to a magical place, and that may offset the feeling of "I am not at school". For me, I would go. I notice in another post of yours that your kids are in Kdgn. I have my degrees in early childhood educ and Elem Educ. To me, there is nothing they are going to learn in those 5 days of Kdgn that cannot be learned before the school year is over. Of course, teachers do not like the disruption, but it sounds like September truely would be better for for DS, and family vacation memories last a life time.
I hope my babblling has helped you a little! It has been my experience with my DS's teachers and therapists that they think going on vacation is an important part of childhood, and a way for him to enjoy life, so they have never given us a hard time about pulling him out for a few days. I really hope it all works out for you. I can tell you are so stressed about this. For me, planning is 1/2 the fun of a Disney trip, and I hope you can enjoy it! Having a special needs child can be so stressful, don't add more to yourself! Good Luck!!!

 

[Hannathy]

I would go in December. If as you mentioned he could take up to 3 weeks to re-adjust to school you are talking about disrupting almost a month of school that is a long time and then if he misses any more for illness. Plus when he is re-adjusting to school can this be disruptive to the other children in his class and is this very nice for them. We went in December twice around the same time and both times had days warm enough to spend a day at a water park.
One trip it was cold the first day but then warmed up and was beautiful the rest of the time. Another plus is it is so pretty at Disney at this time of year very magical.

 

[tw1nsmom]

Aren't your kids going into kindergarten in the fall? I would take your vacation whenever it's best for your family. Or district says that it's strict about absenses, but I have a friend that took their kids out of school for 14 days for a family trip to New Zealand. Her youngest is special needs and in kindergarten. The school gave her no problem.

Having said that, personally I would pick December. I can't take the heat and the decorations are supposed to be beautiful. Besides, we have a trip planned for December 18-29. Maybe we could meet. My kids wil be in first grade and will miss five days of school. After seeing what they did the week before Christmas this past year, I'm pretty sure they won't miss anything special that week.

As an aside, what would happen if they did call a social worker on parents who take their kid out for vacation? What would a judge say if one of them wasted their time with this garbage? If they ever tried to play that game with me, I would declare my kids homeschooled, and reinstate them when I got back. I mean, I wouldn't take my kids out during a time they wouldn't be able to make up/catch up on the work. But, if I make a decision to take my kids out of school for a vacation, the school has to remember that I'm the parent, not them.

 

[samkj]

This a decision only you can make, since we don't know you or your child.

he definitely responds to structure, continuity, and consistency.

Since this is the case would it be fair to him to pull him out after he just gets settled? The trip itself wouldn't be a problem, but would he have to start back a square one with the adjustment to his class and schedule? There are arguements for both vacation times, in the big picture which will make life easier for your son? September, with free dining, warmer weather(but the chance of hurricanes) and lower crowds, or December when his school schedule will not be interupted. How about your other kids, if the school is really intolerant of absences, will they have issues with their teachers? It will all work out in the end, just do what is in the best interest of your children.

My husband is a teacher so we will never pull our kids out of school, but I know families that do it all the time. I don't think we would pull out even if he wasn't a teacher. One family in my daughters class is going on their second week long vacation during school at the end of this month. They do notify the school and complete homework during their trips.

 

[Tissa]

Do you think that taking two WDW trips in 3 months might be a little too much for him? I know as much as my autistic ds loves WDW it takes a lot out of him. I really think that you should skip the Aug trip and go in December.

 

[triplefigs]

Thanks all for the input. Tissa, we are only taking one of the trips, but have both booked until we decide which one to go on.

As far as the other questions: they start school on Aug 7 and crowds are still heavy that prior week. My other 2 (they are triplets) would be ok missing school as far as not falling behind, but the school system is strict about missing days.

I think we are leaning towards December. We went last year from Nov 29-Dec 7 so the crowds were low. Their school district's last day of school is Dec 15 this year, so we could go and not miss any school. We do use the GAC for DS, and I'm hoping the crowds will be manageable.

 

[Tissa]

Sorry I got a little confused, I remember you planning for last years Dec trip and what a great time you had, I just assumed you would never give up Dec this year. This is just my opinion but I think not having ds miss school is a better plan. If he gets sick or has to have surgery he'll be missing plenty of school already and August is in hurricane season, just added stress that you and your family doesn't need. Either way have a great trip with those adorable children and good luck.

 

[triplefigs]

Sorry I got a little confused, I remember you planning for last years Dec trip and what a great time you had, I just assumed you would never give up Dec this year. This is just my opinion but I think not having ds miss school is a better plan. If he gets sick or has to have surgery he'll be missing plenty of school already and August is in hurricane season, just added stress that you and your family doesn't need. Either way have a great trip with those adorable children and good luck.

Thanks. Yes, we did have an AWESOME trip last December. I'm sure we will have a great time this year as well. I may try to go to MVMCP twice! Or see Candlelight Processional this time.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I'm both a special educator (currently working in preschool, but I spent many years doing K-3rd self contained special ed), and the mother of a typically developing first grade boy. From that perspective I'd have mixed feelings about pulling your son out so early in the year.

On one hand, I think that time spent with the family doing things they love is important to all children, but it's particularly important to children who have special needs. You have valid concerns about taking him at other times. If you really feel that September is the only time when you can really give him that "magical" experience then I'd say go ahead and take him out.

On the other hand, the beginning of Kindergarten can be stressful for many children. Although it's true that they don't learn a lot academically, they learn a great deal about how to follow a routine, how to complete tasks independently. They also need to make a whole new set of friends. I know that many children take a couple of months to settle in and feel comfortable with the routines. For children with special needs that "settling in" time can be even longer. To pull him out when he's just starting to feel comfortable, anticipate the routines and make friends may be hard for him.

Given that, my first question would be whether there's a third option a little later in the year. Early December is supposed to be a wonderful time to go (small crowds, nice weather). Even delaying your trip to late October would make it more likely that he'll be settled in enough to handle the break.

If those aren't options then I'd suggest that you keep the reservations until the 45 day mark. By that point you'd at least know the teacher and how the first few days have gone, but can still cancel without penalty.

 

[triplefigs]

Given that, my first question would be whether there's a third option a little later in the year. Early December is supposed to be a wonderful time to go (small crowds, nice weather). Even delaying your trip to late October would make it more likely that he'll be settled in enough to handle the break.

If those aren't options then I'd suggest that you keep the reservations until the 45 day mark. By that point you'd at least know the teacher and how the first few days have gone, but can still cancel without penalty.

Thanks for your input. October is out as DH can't miss work that month. We went last year the first week of December, and all 3 of my kids missed a bunch of really fun stuff at school, church, parties, etc. So I'd rather wait until they're out of school so we don't have any issues. I guess that really leaves me with Dec and Sept. We are definitely leaning towards Dec to avoid any school issues. We'll just get a GAC again, utilize TGM to the max, go early in the am to avoid crowds, take breaks.

Thanks again to all!

 

[Nik's Mom]

We pulled our autistic ds out of school for a week last year during kindergarten. It was in May. He also gets ot and speech therapy.

The teachers encouraged it because I had a lesson plan. DS struggled with letters and colors. During our stay, we pointed out the differenc colors and letters around the park. He actually started catching on! Anyway, we did an independent study during our trip, then submitted everything in a nice folder to the teachers when we returned. It was all material that I created to help ds keep learning while we were on vacation. It was all fun, but educational. The teachers were so impressed that they passed it around during a school district meeting!

We will probably pull ds out of school for our trip next year. For our autistic ds, going during a less crowded time is extremely important.

Good luck in whatever you decide. You know what's best for your beautiful children.

 

[triplefigs]

Just wanted to update everyone. We spoke to the school about our trip when we were testing for his IEP. The head of the special needs dept said that he absolutely needed to go when it was low crowds and said it would be good for us as a family. She has the authority to "authorize" the trip and therefore, it is all excused absences. Our district is very strict about missing school. So, we are going the last week in Sept, we will be able to get all the kids work, and we can tell their teachers the first day. I'm very pleased, to put it mildly.

 

[mrstbalt]

I think it depends on your child. If he dont think he will have any set backs by missing school, then I would go in September. My DD 4 has autism(mild) and we took her and DD 5 Sept 20-26 last year and it was great!! Although hot and humid, it was not crowded and we spoke with her therapist/teachers about what we could do on the trip. She gets Speech and OT, both gave us work sheets and ideas we could do with her and she was ok. But like I said I think it depends on your child and their needs.

 

[tw1nsmom]

Just wanted to update everyone. We spoke to the school about our trip when we were testing for his IEP. The head of the special needs dept said that he absolutely needed to go when it was low crowds and said it would be good for us as a family. She has the authority to "authorize" the trip and therefore, it is all excused absences. Our district is very strict about missing school. So, we are going the last week in Sept, we will be able to get all the kids work, and we can tell their teachers the first day. I'm very pleased, to put it mildly.

Great News!

 

[eeyore45]

We often would have special trips written into our IEP too!!

Cant wait till Sept - hope everything is going great!!