UPDATE! PD needed re: foster kids & WDW

[lizardqueen]

Things went well at court today. Bio mom showed, but not dad. After her lawyer counciled her, she came out and said she was going to consent to us taking the kids. About an hour after that, we had the actual "hearing" and the judge did reconfirm that. Plus some other interesting things came up, but that's for another time...

Anyway, thanks for all the prayers and encouragement and YAY!!! We get to take our kids to Disney World!!!!!!


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Well, our kids caseworker mentioned to the kids bios today that we have a trip planned to WDW at the end of August and want to take the kids. Of course the bios objected and said they didn't want "strangers" taking their kids so far away. Guess they don't remember that we took DFS at 7 weeks old to WDW. So next week, we have to go to court to get the judge to approve or deny our request. Now at the last court hearing, he said to go ahead and make our travel plans, so we are taking that as an ok, the kids can go. But please, the kids (especially DFD3) and us really need this. By the way, we have had DFS and DFD since October 05 and reunification does not look like it is going to happen.

Anyway, if you are the praying kind, if you could just say one for us that all goes well and we are approved to take the kids with us, we would all appreciate it. The whole foster care thing has been way more trying and emotionaly exhausting then we could have ever imagined and this is the one thing that we were all looking forward to. Every night that we put DD to bed she says "Momma, can you sit with me and talk to me about Cinderella Castle and the rides". Poor thing, I can't imagine telling her that we are not going.

 

[luvmydogs]

I'll certainly keep you in my prayers that everything works out in the best interest of your sweet children. No, I can't imagine telling your dd she won't be able to go to WDW after seeing how excited she is about it. Hopefully the judge will see what a positive thing this trip will be and grant your request.

Many good wishes to you and your family.

 

[crazyforgoofy]

I'm guessing a smart judge will understand that the bios are trying to control things they ought not to control. Why shouldn't those sweet kiddos have fun with you at Disney World? It's not like the knucklehead bios have gotten their act together to do anything for them, now have they?

If I sound a bit angry with what bio parents can do to kids and get away with it, you're right, I am. I believe rotten parents should get a limited amount of time to get their lives in order and prove they're able to be healthy parents or they ought to have their rights terminated and the children be allowed to be available for adoption. Children's rights ought to come first!

I will keep my fingers and toes crossed that you are allowed to take them with you on a wonderful vacation.

 

[paigevz]

When we were trying to adopt, and they wanted us to foster/adopt, one of the reasons we decided against it was that all of our family is in Oklahoma, and they said we'd have to leave the children with (I forgot what they called it, but an approved temporary) each time we went unless their bio parents approved. We wanted to treat these children as our own, even if they'd be reunified, we didn't want them treated differently than our other son while they were with us...........talk about making them feel left out!

I hope it works out for you and them.

BTB, the other reason was that we thought our young son just wanted a sib so much that it would hurt him to have one and then lose them if they were reunified...............................................and the reason we ultimately never adopted is because they insisted on interviewing him every 3 months and asking him if he wanted a sib, if he could share attention/toys/room........the last straw was when he finally came to us in tears after one of the interviews asking if it was his fault that we didn't have a sib, and insisting to us (almost like frantically) that he TOLD the worker he'd be nice to him/her and share his toys. We pulled our application then.

I applaud you for sticking with it. I know what a headache it can be even BEFORE the kids are in the home, and I can imagine that it just gets more frustrating and saddening after.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

Thank you for being a loving caring foster parent. Karma will reward you kindly...even in the messed-up world of DYFS.

 

[Aidensmom]

It is sad that you have to go through all this. We too have considered fostering, and some of this kind of stuff has held us back. Prayers said that everything will work out.

 

[Stacerita]

I will keep it in prayer.

 

[lizardqueen]

Aidensmom: If you are looking into fostering just to foster and not to adopt, it would probably feel a little different. But when we went into this, we hadn't planned on being fost/adopt, only straight adoption. The fact that we couldn't conceive children was pain enough, we didn't want to have to face the fact that a child placed in our home could be taken just like that. Now look at us, we have 2 and are planning on taking the baby that their bio mom is pregnant with now as soon as he is born. One minute, things are not looking good for the bios and the next you would think that they are the best people on earth.

PaigeVZ: Sorry you had to go through all that and you didn't even have children in your home at the time. That is nonsense that they put your DS through. They don't want you to treat your foster children any differently then the rest of the family, yet they force all of these insane rules on you. I just will never understand their logic.

CrazyforGoofy: I just noticed your tag. You must be an adoptive parent. I feel the same exact way as you do about the whole time limit thing. If they really cared about their kids and wanted to get it together, they would have done it by now. It is insane how they just give them chance after chance. This is the second time that these poor babies were taken out of their bio home. How many more times does it have to happen before the state realizes that it is not in the best interest of these children to remain with these people. Just at the visit today, our DD kept telling the caseworker she wanted to leave and go to HER house to see HER mommy and daddy. They can't even manage a 2 hour supervised visit without annoying the children. Anyhoo... Sorry to rant, but that's the least of it! After getting involved with the state, I am very sorry that we did. Don't regret having these beautiful children in our home at all, just regret all the pain and suffering for all parties.

 

[RadioFanatic]

I'm just completing my certification process for foster/adoption - woohoo done next week! so I really feel your pain. I love how the bio parents are worried about having "their" children so far away by "strangers" - well if you were so worried about your kids welfare you should have been a better parent - and, sorry, but you are no strangers to those kids.

As you can see, we have a trip planned to WDW in Sept/Oct so, if we're lucky enough to have kid(s) then, we hope we won't have any problems taking them.

Good luck and hugs and PD to you!

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm guessing a smart judge will understand that the bios are trying to control things they ought not to control. Why shouldn't those sweet kiddos have fun with you at Disney World? It's not like the knucklehead bios have gotten their act together to do anything for them, now have they?

If I sound a bit angry with what bio parents can do to kids and get away with it, you're right, I am. I believe rotten parents should get a limited amount of time to get their lives in order and prove they're able to be healthy parents or they ought to have their rights terminated and the children be allowed to be available for adoption. Children's rights ought to come first!

I will keep my fingers and toes crossed that you are allowed to take them with you on a wonderful vacation.

I agree with everything you have posted.

 

[ZachnElli]

Reunification happening or not, I don't see any reason why they shouldn't get to go! People take friend's kids and relative's kids all the time! I totally agree on the time limit, they should be given a certain amount of time to prove they want to be parents to their kids or their rights will be terminated! Our govenor just this week is trying to shorten the time limit here. Sorry, opinionated adoptive mommy here ! I'll be praying the judge lets you go and praying for a future adoption for you!

 

[barkley]

as a former foster care supervisor i commend all the foster parents-you are providing these kids with the love and care they deserve so much!

want to pass on something that may interest you-i was reading a people magazine the other day (i think the one with brad pitt's baby on the front?)-there was an article about a book or project that involves/involved fc kids and former fc kids-they wrote journals about their experiences-and some letters to former fc parents. very moving-it think if it is a book it could prove to be very insightful to see what the kid's feel about the process/system/experience.

 

[lizardqueen]